Three men are discussing their previous night's lovemaking. The Italian says, "My wife, I rubbed her all over with fine olive oil, then we make wonderful love. She screamed for five minutes."
The Frenchman says, "I smooth sweet butter on my wife's body, then we made passionate love. She screamed for half an hour."
The Jew says, "I covered my wife's body with schmaltz. We made love and she screamed for six hours."
The others say, "Six hours? How did you make her scream for six hours?"
He shrugs. "I wiped my hands on the drapes."

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