Mr D’arcy and Miss Bennet by abroadsword
“Mr D’arcy how delightful!” Mrs Bennet simpered as her new neighbour arrived on horseback quite unannounced one spring morning.
“Indeed Madam the pleasure is all mine!” Mr D’arcy replied airily, “Tis a pleasant enough little place you have here, quite like my lodging at Manderly but somewhat smaller I fear.”
“Oh Mr D’arcy you are too kind,” Mrs Bennet smiled through gritted teeth, “Come you must meet my girls,” she added, seeing an opportunity to marry one off, and called upon them to come through.
“This is Jayne my eldest,” Mrs Bennet declared.
“Ah plain Jayne, how appropriate,” Mr D’arcy greeted her.
“And Eliza,” Mrs Bennet indicated her second eldest.
“I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure,” Mr Darcy smarmed.
“Oh Mr D’arcy” Miss Eliza replied, “I can assure you that you would surely have remembered if you had had the pleasure of spearing my warm wet womb with your rampant member and feeling my well muscled thighs gripping and squeezing you, my rampant breasts and pert nipples spearing into your manly chest.”
“Ah, I meant of meeting you,” Mr D’arcy explained, “I should of course have remembered every detail had we conjoined for I do declare you are the most outspoken and forward young woman I have ever encountered.”
“Not to worry Mr D’arcy,” Miss Bennet explained, “I changed the bed linen not three days ago should you wish to step upstairs.”
“I merely wish to make your acquaintance,” Mr D’arcy explained in exasperation.
“Why? do you not desire to compare me carnally to a wide variety of other young ladies before making your choice of bride?” Miss Eliza enquired.
“Indeed not madam,” Mr D’arcy explained somewhat painfully, “I merely wished to enquire if I might shoot a few of your pheasants as I fear I have slaughtered the vast majority of those at Manderley and the season has hardly begun.”
“Indeed shoot away for we have peasants far in excess of our needs,” Mrs Bennet simpered, “gardeners, ostlers, idlers, why we have a complete superfluity of peasants..
“Pheasants mother, not Peasants.” Eliza cautioned. “One cannot shoot Peasants.”
“In the lord’s name why not?” Mrs Bennet exclaimed, “If one might not shoot them how is discipline to be maintained?”
“Miss Eliza, I have done you a dis-service,” Mr D’arcy exclaimed, “I had thought you the most idiotic and completely deluded woman I had ever met but I own you are indeed quite sane compared to your mother.”
“How are we to impose discipline Mr D’arcy if we cannot shoot the miscreants?” Mrs Bennet demanded. “One cannot carry a rack around with one and whipping is no substitute.”
“Dear lord mother he wants to shoot a few birds,” Miss Eliza sighed, “And yet you suggest he shoots our servants and takes your daughters to his bed.”
“To be fair she only suggested I take you to bed Miss Eliza,” Mr D’arcy argued.
“And shall you?” Eliza enquired.
“Alas no, the thought of my progeny having your countenance and wit entirely repulses me,” Mr D’arcy replied.
Mrs Bennet recoiled at the sentiment, “So have them sent to the orphanage as Mr Bennet and I should have done when we failed to secure a son and heir.
“An excellent suggestion, as ever mother,” Eiza sighed, “No thought for my sentiments.”
Mr Bennet staggered drunkenly into the breakfast room after a break fast of Rum and Porter in roughly equal proportions. “Oh don’t be so reticent dear, One can not have sentiments where marriage is concerned, let the Gentleman sample the merchandise.”
Eliza fumed, “He desires to sample me not wed me.”
“Indeed I do not,” Mr D’arcy sighed, “I merely wish to shoot your Peasants, I mean Pheasants.”
“Then why have you a trouser bulge Mr D’arcy?” Mr Bennet observed.
“Father!” Miss Eliza declared, “Do you really expect me to conjoin with Mr D’arcy without a promise?”
“Oh really Mr Bennet,” Mrs Bennet declaimed, “Would you let just any Gentleman sample your daughter without a promise.”
“Actually,” Eliza observed, “Now you mention it his trouser bulge looks most promising.”
“Come on man, make a promise,” Mr Bennet ordered.
“Very well, ten guineas and ten more if she pleases me,” Mr D’arcy offered.
“Done,” Mr Bennet agreed delightedly, “Ring my bookmaker forthwith.”
“Father the Telephonograph has yet to be invented, “ Jayne reminded him.
“Oh yes damnit, fetch my boots!” he retorted.
Mr D’arcy duly handed over the ten guineas.
“Up the stairs, first on the left,” Mrs Bennet directed.
“Miss Bennet?” Mr D’arcy graciously invited Eliza to take his arm and she led him to the stairs.
“Do you propose to seduce me Mr D’arcy?” Eliza enquired.
“Lord no,” D’arcy replied, “No time for that, If you get your kit off I’ll shove it up you right away, let us get on with it.”
Eliza opened the bed chamber door and led Mr D’arcy in.
She sat on the bed edge and pulled her dress up revealing her split crotch leggings which with a complete lack of pantaloons gave entirely unfettered access to the entry to her womb.
“No need for undressing on my part Mr D’arcy,” she explained as she spread her legs.
A rapid increase in the swelling in Mr D’arcy’s breeches forced him to discard the aforementioned breeches over which he promptly fell as they bunched around his ankles. The fall buried his face in Eliza’s generous cleavage. She helped him up and guided his rampant member towards her waiting wanting moistened womb lips.
He thrust mightily, “Bleedin’ hell are you a bloody virgin?” he gasped, “Er I mean gosh are you virgo intacto?”
“Not any more with your cock up me,” Eliza replied.
“Damnit, I hate virgins,” he explained, “Such hard work for so little reward.”
“I might well express the same sentiments about your member,” Eliza opined as the aforesaid member slowly opened the cavern leading to her womb.
“Though,” he continued, “Perhaps when your legs are wrapped around me and your naked breasts press.”
“For ten guineas?, in your dreams.” Eliza opined.
“Twenty then, a Hundred!” D’arcy offered.
Eliza felt herself melting as his seductive words washed over her.
“Very well, rip my bodice open and feel my bosoms,” Eliza replied as D’arcy’s member sank ever deeper within her.
He did as she asked opening his shirt as he did so until their naked chests entwined as their lips entwined and he shot his load, rather prematurely, deep inside her.
“Is that it?” Eliza enquired.
“Afraid so old girl,” D’arcy apologised as he slid his shrinking member from her.
“Er about the rest of the Hundred guineas?” Eliza queried.
“In your dreams,” he retorted.
“Bastard!” she replied.
“You’re beautiful when you’re angry,” D’arcy reassured her. His member swelled again and before they knew it she was once again firmly screwed to the bed by his pulsing cock.
“Are you insatiable?” Eliza asked.
“Not usually, one shot wonder who comes too soon generally,” he apologised, “Er don’t fancy moving in with me do you?”
“How big is your house in Derbyshire?” she asked.
“Seventy three bedrooms,” he replied.
“I’ll think about it,” she said as t she felt the first stirring of an orgasm deep in her womb, “Might as well,” she thought, “It’ll get me away from my mad mother and alcoholic father,”
“Yes!” she agreed.
D’arcy breathed a sigh of relief, she might be a good lay but never a hundred guineas worth and based on past experience she would dump him within weeks.
So they conjoined delightedly for very different reasons. Who would have the better of the deal.
Their conjunction completed they returned to the sitting room.
“Mama Mr D’arcy has asked me to move in with him,” Eliza simpered.
“Excellent,” Mr Bennet declared, “Your bags are over there if you wish to leave now.”
Mr D’arcy recoiled at the thought of what he had done, of a life ruined, perchance forced to marry Eliza, to have to sleep and lie with her every night, to suck her great tits and spear her juicy women’s parts each and every night. His member swelled at the thought .“Fancy a quickie before we go?”
“Yes why not,” Mrs Bennet agreed.
“Not you mother, me!” Eliza exclaimed.
Mrs Bennet was furious, Jayne looked disappointed.
Eliza continued, “Perhaps we could do it if I bent over the table in the billiard room?”
“An excellent suggestion,” Mr Bennet agreed, “I’ll fetch the servants.”
And they all lived happily for several weeks.
