It has been a great joy to share with all of you my wonderful memories. I am truly humbled by the messages I have received. Sadly, like all good things, my memoirs must end.

“For those just joining us”, way back in the 70s the law and Postal Regulations did not automatically make young nudes illegal. Several magazines dedicated to the young girl nude flourished. I was a nudist documentation photographer, among other things. After seeing my nudist work — especially the girl nudes — I was hired by the founders of Charmers, the best magazine of young girl nudes. I traveled around the country photographing girls, mostly girls whose fathers were Charmers readers. Every issue invited the readers to send pictures of their daughters “but if you prefer, we can send one of our photographers to photograph your daughters. ”

I have many wonderful memories of the bright and pretty girls I worked with. If I could, I would tell you about every one of them. They were each special to me, and I remember every one. But I can’t make them all special to you. After a while the descriptions will blur together. How many ways can I say that a girl had blond hair, freckles and a gently rounded Mound of Venus? How many ways can I tell you about the special bold smile on a ten – year – olds face as she used her fingers to separate her vagina lips for my camera? I have already written about Maisie, Nella, Laurie and Sami. The stories will soon get repetitive. It is time to tell one last story, because it is surely best to end on a high note. Cleoni deserves her moment.

It was back in 1972 when I got a call from Rupert, a Broadway/movies/TV agent. I did portfolios for his clients all the time. I knew him as an honest, hardworking man, who often put the welfare of others ahead of his own.

“I’ve got a new client I’m really excited about, ” he said breathlessly. “I got onto her at a radio station talent show. Her voice is remarkable, but she’s also got presence. I just know she can act, she’s a natural for modeling and she even dances!”

“Sounds great, ” I said. “What’s her name?”

“Cleoni. She’s from Haarlem. Fourteen. I’ve got some auditions coming up that I need to get her into, so I need a full portfolio quick. Only thing is, her mother can’t afford the standard package. If I told you I was paying out of my own pocket, could I get a discount?”

“How come the family can’t pay?”

“Tragic case, man. Her father was killed in ‘Nam four years ago – an Army lifer like my own dad. ”

“Hell, Rupert, in that case, the portfolio is free. Least I can do. ”

“I knew you were a big softie! The mother’s name is Gloria.. She’ll call you tomorrow, by ten. Got be that early. She can’t be late for her waitressing gig. Lunch shift. ”

“I’ll be ready and waiting. ”

Gloria called at nine – thirty the next day. She described her daughter the way any mother would: pretty, smart, charming, the whole nine yards. I described the standard portfolio package: head shot, full – length, formal clothes, casual clothes, running or some other activity and the new one that agencies had begun to expect – a leotard, ballet dress or swimsuit. Gloria told me she’d need time to round all that up. I explained that I did a lot of fashion work, including teen fashion, and I could get most of what Cleoni needed. “Just give me her sizes. I’ll call in some favors. ”

“Bless you, but Rupert told me you’re doing the pictures for free. We don’t want to be more of a burden. ”

“Gloria, it’ll be pleasure for me to call some of the advertising idiots I work with and put the arm on them for a good cause. ”

Gloria laughed. “Well, all right then. ”

Five days later I told Gloria I had everything we needed. She brought Cleoni to my studio the next day, a Thursday. It usually took at least two sessions to get all the shots for a portfolio. Rupert called me every day to remind me of the need for speed. I heard footsteps on the stairs, a knock at the door and a girl’s clear laughter. When I opened the door, I saw a tall Black woman with her hair permed into curls and a giggling teenager in pigtails, only a few inches shorter. Cleoni gave me a million – watt smile and offered her hand to shake. “Pleased to meet you Mr Walters. I’m ready for my first time in front of the camera!”

Well, the first step was to make sure that the clothes I had obtained fit her properly. No worries. A few things weren’t quite right, but fashion tape can fix most problems. The last thing Cleoni tried on was the leotard. I thought it was too small for her long torso, but she came bouncing out of the changing room grinning. “I’ve got a leotard for my dance class, but it’s nothing like this!”

I didn’t think the leotard was all that wonderful, but she was in love with the dark purple color, the gold trim and (it turned out) the lack of sweat stains. “Mama, I’d really like to keep this one!”

“Cleoni, we talked about this …” her mother said.

“Gloria, ” I interrupted, “all of this is for you and Cleoni to keep. Nobody expects anything back. I realize that some of it is too big, and you can’t adjust school, clothes with fashion tape, but …”

“That ain’t the problem. I’m handy with a needle and thread. I can alter anything that needs it, ” Gloria said.

“Good, good, ” I said.

“The problem is, I don’t know if it’s right to take it all. Cleoni and I aim to make our own way. ”

I thought about it. “Gloria, the whole country owes you and Cleoni a debt that never can be paid. Rupert told me you aren’t even getting your proper VA widow’s benefits. ”

“Well, ” said Gloria, “not the housing benefit, not yet. The woman who runs the widow’s support group told me the VA don’t make Black folks their priority. I guess it’s true. I filled out the application three times and they lost it every time. The widow’s support group got me a lawyer, a vet. Supposedly, he can get things done. We’ll see. I sent in the application the fourth time yesterday. ”

“Gloria, anything I can do to boost Cleoni’s shot at a career, I want to do it. ” I looked at the clock. “I’ve only got fifteen minutes before my next appointment comes in. When can we schedule our first working session?”

“Tomorrow night? I get off at nine. ”

“I’ll be ready. Look forward to it. ”

“You bet, ” said Cleoni.

Okay, I had twenty – four hours to learn how to light a girl with skin as dark as Cleoni. Nowadays I would describe her as “ebony” or “midnight. ” Back then all I could think of was “really dark. ” The Black women I had photographed up til then were all much lighter. I worried about getting Cleoni’s facial features clearly. There were two problems as I saw it: not to lose the detail of her facial features and not to have her skin become shiny and lose her features in the glare. In the age of the Internet, I would just hop on Google and have my answers in an hour. But in era when even the New York Public Library didn’t have the answer, I had to call an acquaintance who had worked for Jet magazine. Thank goodness she was home.

The first night I worked on Cleoni’s portfolio, i got the head shot and the full – length. “Full – length” back then was shorthand for “the model wears school clothes, not casual clothes, stands up straight, with a prop in the shot that lets us judge how tall she is. ” The agent will, of course, provide the casting director or art director with a stat sheet clearly stating the subject’s height, but advertising and theatrical people do not read numbers and rely on props to give them such information.

It was almost midnight when we finished the full – length. Cleoni was still bouncing from pose to pose. She didn’t seem to have lost a particle of energy, but I was drooping. “Tommorow night we can get the casual and formal clothes shots, and if we make good time with them, we can get the leotard shot, too. For the activity shot, the last one, we need to go to a park. There’s a decent one ten minutes from here. We’ll get running and jumping shots there. ”

“No, ” said Cleoni, “I want to dance. I had to stop doing dance last month so I could afford my voice lessons. But I can still do the moves. ”

“All right, ” I said, “but we need at least one leap as well as the dances. ”

“Cool, ” said Cleoni. “I can manage a leap in that leotard. ”

“I can get off an hour early tomorrow, ” said Gloria. “If we start at eight, could we finish? Rupert wants the portfolio for an audition Saturday. It’s a cattle call, but he thinks Cleoni has a shot. He doesn’t want anything to go wrong, like not having the pictures. ”

“I’ll make an extra pot of coffee, ” I said. “We’ll get it done. ” I turned to Cleoni. “I know you won’t run out of energy!”

“I never do, ” she said, smiling.

The next night Cleoni, as ever, had as much energy as three girls, but I don’t mean to imply that she was hyper. On the contrary, she more focused and disciplined than most of my adult models. When it was time for the purple leotard, I put her in front of a light silver background, used reflectors to fill in the shadows and got her action shots as she ran through a series of jazz – ballet moves. Jazz – ballet was still very new at the time, so everything she did was fresh and novel. And, yes, we got a glorious leap!

A song by Aretha Franklin came on the radio. Cleoni sang along. Rupert was right about her voice. It brought tears to my eyes.

“Is that it?” Gloria asked. “We got everything?”

“Everything we need for Rupert, ” I said. “Whenever you have some time for it, I’d like to do some mother – daughter family portraits. On the house. ”

Cleoni was still twirling around the studio. Her dance moves had every part of her in motion. It is a feature of classical ballet that often when the dancer’s legs were moving, her arms were rigid or almost so. Likewise, many upper – body moves require that the legs be held still for the sake of the dancer’s balance. That certainly isn’t the style of jazz – ballet! Sometimes Cleoni would be spinning, swinging her torso, waving her arms and rotating her hands all at once — and changing her facial expressions, too. The limited facial content of classical ballet is one reason why it doesn’t register with many people. If you’re leaping through the air, you don’t look natural with a poker face.

Gloria was drinking a soda in the director’s chair. “The prints you made so far, I like them. Cleoni has spirit. It seems like most photographers can’t catch a girl’s spirit. They’d rather press it out of her — make her look exactly like the next girl. ”

“I know what you mean. ”

Gloria looked around her. “How many naked ladies have you taken pictures of here?” She asked the question casually.

“Well, ” I said, “I do a lot of nude work, art pictures, men’s magazines and such. Most weeks. ”

“And then young girls, too, Cleoni’s age. ”

Uh, what? “I beg your pardon?”

“I researched you, ” Gloria said. “I have a cousin who works at a big newsstand. When I mentioned your name, she told me that you did Playboy and others. She said it was tasteful. I looked at some of those magazines with naked families at the resorts. That was interesting. One skin magazine mentioned something called Charmers. My cousin didn’t have a copy, but she told me about it. You got a copy here I could see?”

There wasn’t any point in starting an argument. Gloria didn’t seem angry or offended, just curious. I dug out a couple of copies and showed them to her. Cleoni stopped spinning like a top and came over to look. She and Gloria went through the entire issue.

“Those girls are real pretty, ” Cleoni said. “They just take off their clothes? It’s no big deal?”

“For the girls in the magazine, yes, it’s no big deal. ” I wondered if this was going where it seemed to be.

“You think I could do that?”

“Well … ”

“Would the magazine want a Black girl?” Gloria asked. “A dark girl like Cleoni? Or is that not going to happen? Have they ever had a Black girl in it?”

“Yes, they had a Black girl in Charmers once, ” I said. “I didn’t take her pictures. She lives in France and a French photographer worked with her. ”

?“Do you get to pick the girls?”

“Not exactly, I told Gloria. “The Editor and the Art Director pick the girls. But they usually take my recommendations. The Art Director is a good man. He does a great job with the layout and design. But he could never do what I do, and he knows it. He couldn’t get the girl’s beauty on film. If he were behind the camera, their pictures wouldn’t sparkle. They’d be very ordinary, and soon or later they would all be alike. The Editor, well, he’s mostly on the business side. Charmers doesn’t have much writing. One page in the front each month, which kind of introduces the girls and a couple of sentences on some of the pictorial pages, and most of the time he doesn’t even write those. He uses my notes. How could he write about the girls? He doesn’t even meet them. If I say ‘Let’s get Cleoni in the magazine, ’ they’re not going to refuse me. Cleoni, is this really something you want to do?”

“Yes! I mean, soon her later I’m gonna be naked in magazines, right? If I’m an actress and model. You think I’d be nervous? Don’t you know me better than that by now?”

“What do we have to do?” Gloria asked.

“I’ll go by the office tomorrow with pictures of Cleoni in her new leotard. That should clear up any doubts. ”

?“Why do you need to mess with the leotard?” Before I could say anything, Cleoni had it off her body and flying across the studio to land on the prop and costume table. “Like this?”

Cleoni had taken a pose, and what a pose! She stood hands on her hip, chest jutting out, legs apart and (as always) a big, toothy grin. Her look was defiant and proud; only her grin saved it from being a bit intimidating. Even then I was aware of the cliche of posing Black women as “warriors, ” and I was determined to avoid it. But Cleoni wasn’t being an aggressive “warrior”: she was claiming her space, asserting dominion over her own body.

“Cleoni, hold that pose! I need to move some lights. ” The secret of shooting totally dark skin, I had learned, was to put diffuse light on her grom all directions, to fill in every shadow and leave no room for glare. Using light from directly behind the camera was the least important part. I used mostly light boxes and put one above her head, one on each side and two directly below, with a reflector directed on her torso and another one on her face. I put the camera at the level of her neckline, so the viewer was looking up to her (as he damn well should). “Cleoni, that’s magnificent. You’re magnificent!” I saw a line of pubic hair going upward from the apex of her vagina and made a note of that. She had real breasts, too, even if they were still small. A bit of fill underneath was all it took to keep them from casting shadows. Cleoni stood so that her vaginal lips were apart. She had visible inner lips and a clitoral hood that bulged slightly. I could just see the tip of her clitoris peeking out to see what was going on. I suspected she was aroused. I took one last shot, kneeling at her waist level, and, yep, I could smell the slight odor of her arousal. “You, ” I told her, “are one of the greatest models I have ever worked with, and I only need one pose to see that!”

Cleoni would have been happy to go all night and do an entire session then and there, but excited as I was, I had to end things. It was after midnight. I had a dawn outdoor fashion shoot the next day, for which I had to be out of bed by 5:15. It was after three the next afternoon when I finally went to the Charmers office and showed them Cleoni’s wondrous naked body.

“So, you had a portfolio shoot and you got the girl to take off her clothes?” the Editor said, raising an eyebrow. “I never knew you to you to do that before. Kind of reckless, don’t you think?”

“Were you even listening to me just now?” I demanded. “I was doing a portfolio shoot, for free, and the girl’s mother had done some research. She found out about Charmers and asked me about nudes. She was careful. First, she looked through some issues to make sure the girls aren’t abused. Take a look at Cleoni. Does she look reluctant to you?”

“Well, no. ”

“I’m telling you, if you turn her down, I’ll walk. I’ll never do another young girl shoot for you again. And I’ll see to that no naturist documentation photographer ever works for you, and you’ll be banned from recruiting and shooting at the nudist clubs. You can try doing your outdoors shots in the Everglades and the Grand Canyon. Here’s a tip: use bug repellent in the Glades and sunscreen in the Canyon. ”

“Calm down, ” said the Editor. “Why’re you so worked up about this? Are you doing her mother?”

“Cleoni’s father was killed in Vietnam. The whole country owes her. This is her ticket to a better life, one that she deserves, especially with her talent. Yes or no?”

He took another look at her picture. “Oh, yes. Maybe some of our readers won’t be into it, but I think most of them will. Playboy, you know, their first real nude with pelvic hair, she was Black. ”

“I know. And let me point out that Charmers doesn’t have ‘readers. ’ We have gazers. ”

“Okay, okay. ”

“I want one more thing”

“Only one?”

“I want to shoot Cleoni in natural light. I can get the beach cottage I used with Lauri and Sammi. I need a $400 budget for rental, transportation and per diem. ”

“Is this another do – it – or – I – walk thing?”

“If you want it that way. ”

He thought for about ten seconds. “Okay. Can I have Cleoni for the September issue?”

“You got it. ”

The following week I rented a van. In order to get the beach house at the start of the season (it was May) we had to schedule the shoot for a Wedensday and promise to be gone by 4pm. Accordingly, I picked up Cleoni and her mother at dinner time Tuesday, and we drove straight through so we could sleep at the beach house and start at dawn the next morning.

I set an alarm clock for a 6:30 wake up time, but I needent have bothered. With her boundless energy and enthusiasm, Cleoni herself was an alarm clock. She knocked on my door at first light.

“Mr Walters, times a – wasting! You said we needed not to waste the light!” She stood in the doorway, barefoot and already naked, with just a thin robe covering her. “I remember what you said about elastic marks on my skin, so I slept naked. ”

Gloria had already made us coffee and set out the doughnuts and juice, so it didn’t take but a few minutes to get started. Cleoni, predictably enough, tore out the front door and down to the water, dropping her robe as she went. Once again, I admired her tall, lean body and her long limbs. Her rump sat high in the air atop her long trim thighs.

I had taken the precaution of asking Gloria if Cleoni could swim. The answer – “She learned at the Y” – did not completely reassure me, so I had a rubber dinghy inflated, and several life savers ready. The water still felt a bit chilly to me, but obviously not to her. I asked to come a bit closer to the beach so I could frame her properly, and began clicking away at shots of her face and her chest. It took me a whole roll of film before I found the right angle, where the Sun lit her up from behind me without casting shadows on under her breasts. She splashed and frolicked in the water for an hour, and I got some good shots of her body side – on, so her breasts, butt and legs were prominent.

After I felt I had enough pics of Cleoni in the water, I got her to wade up on the beach, where I took some action shots of her rubbing her body with a towel to dry off. It was then that I realized how sensual she was. She stroked her little breasts with the terrycloth, and I saw them swell a bit. Likewise, she rubbed the towel on her thighs and between her thighs.

The sun had risen high enough that it was a good time for standing full – body shots. As I set up the tripod and positioned the reflectors, I examined Cleoni’s pelvis closely. Her patch of pubic hair was silky rather than wiry and smooth rather than tangled. As for her vaginal lips, they were almost as thick and mature as a grown woman’s, with her inner lips peeking out. I noticed that when she stood with her legs apart, her vagina had a touch of glisten that had nothing to do with the occasional drops of seawater that slid down her pubic hairs.

Cleoni was a natural at posing. She moved around me, always facing the sun and grinning broadly. Feet together and feet apart. Leaning forward to display her breast buds, and leaning back to push her pubic area forward. She turned away from the camera and looked back over her shoulder so I could frame her butt. And she danced! Oh, how she danced! It wasn’t in Cleoni’s nature to be still for more than a moment. All the moves that had impressed me earlier when she wore her new leotard, she repeated with no cloth hiding her lithe body and the young muscles rippling under her skin. I caught her in mid – leap, with her legs spread wide, and doing the obligatory cartwheels that almost every girl wanted to do, which put her vagina on fine display. I managed to get her to lie down on a towel for some full – body sunbathing shots. Her most erotic pose of the day was totally unplanned — I snapped Cleoni as she brushed

sand out of her pubic hair. (To this day, that’s the shot that people remember best. )

After three hours of hard work and constant motion, there was just one more pose I needed to get. Cleoni had told me she slept nude the night before. I wanted to recreate the moment of her waking up casting aside the sheet. We went inside the beach house where she lay down on the bed. I used filters to make the light more like dawn and lesss like noon. Cleoni did a convincing job of rubbing sleep out of her eyes. Then came something that surprised and pleased me.

“As long as I’m in bed, take pictures of me plating with myself, ” she said. “I saw some of the girls in the scrapbook doing that. I do it, too. Doesn’t everybody?”

“Everybody I ever heard of, ” I agreed. “That would be a wonderful and exciting scene, but we’ll only do it if you’re totally comfortable. ”

Cleoni snickered at me for implying that maybe wasn’t into the idea. Gloria, who had been helping me with the reflectors, left the room. Cleoni laid back on the bed, closed her eyes and began to fondle her breasts. After a couple of minutes, she begs rubbing her vagina in a circular motion, using her right hand. This one on for a while; she was totally un – self conscious and at one point she opened her eyes just enough to look at me and grin. Gradually, she changed her technique: she put two fingers from her right hand inside her vagina, while her left went back and forth on her clitoral hood. She remembered to keep her legs spread apart, so I was able to see, and photograph, her inner lips swell a bit and turn a deeper red. I had watched enough young girls pleasure themselves by them to know when to step back and change the focus from a vaginal close – up to a shot of her whole upper body, from her busy pelvis to her radiant face.

I am often asked if I was ever intimate with one of my young models. No, never, but on the other hand, when stood over a young girl innocently pleasuring herself under my lens – which was usually just a foot and a half away – I possessed her body on a way more intimate than a lover.

With that, our work was over. It was time to tidy up, pack everything and start the long drive home. The Editor and Art Director were very pleased with Cleoni’s shoot, and gave her the cover (which put an extra $300 in my pocket, and of course I split it with Gloria and Cleoni).

Although other girls had been shown pleasuring thesmselves, the Editor announced that Cleoni’s sequence was “too intense” whatever that meant. However nothing of our day together at the beach went to waste: I received offers from Dutch, French and German magazines. They adored the pictures of Cleoni’s uninhibited enjoyment. I made some serious bank, and of course Gloria and Cleoni got half.

I saw Cleoni many times after that, because I continued to do her portfolio work. Although she never quite became a star, in the 70s she had a fine career as a dancer/backing singer for many bands, some of them quit famous. On the 80s, she worked extensively as the model/dancer in MTV videos. Eventually, she made a smooth transition to working behind the camera. She directed and choreographed music videos, directed “erotic thrillers” for Cinemax and popped up from time to time as a TV actress. Her strangest gig was in 2000, when the company marketing a new (and very pricey) dildo hired her to do an “instructional video” for their product. Not only was she in charge, she filmed herself doing a few of the demonstrations!

I like to think our work together helped her develop a career worthy of her talent, which carried her out of poverty. Although I feel affection for all my young models, in many ways I’m proudest of Cleoni.