I didn’t know what to think, but I managed to nod my head. It made John smile, and then then trying to calm things he said, “I really enjoy your company,” and when I looked up he said, “It’s really nice to have someone like you to talk with.”
John needed time to gather his thought, hoping to steer the conversation in a direction he was wanting, and seeing me nod, even though tentatively and feeling I was okay with what he said, he still felt he needed to calm things a little more. He was good at making me think, subconsciously about why I hadn’t had sex yet and when he subtly said, “I’m sorry if it embarrassed you,” I couldn’t help but nod my head, telling him, “It’s okay.”
It of course made John smile and after saying, "Good," and proceeded by again saying, “I know you only like girls.”
Again, I nodded my head, which made John smile and subtly say, “I like girls too,” but then he casually mentioned, “I’m bisexual.”
Looking at him inquisitively, never having heard this before, there was a brief pause as I thought about what he just said. Seeing my puzzled look, john spoke up asking, “Do you know what that is?”
I was thinking about it, and not know how to reply, I eventually told him, "No.”
Hearing this made him smile, and he now seemed to relish the opportunity to explain that yea, he was attracted to girls but that sometimes he found guys attractive too.
Trying to not act too concerned, I simply smiled. He was looking for my reaction, and when he continued by saying that he did like having sex with girls but sometimes, if he found a guy attractive and they, hit it off, he sometimes liked sleeping with them too.
I was shocked, and again not knowing what to say, I nervously sat there. John could see my nervousness and trying to continue the conversation he asked me, “What are you think about?”
“Oh my god,” I didn’t know what to say, or what to do, so I simply told him, “Nothing.”
There again was a pause in our conversation, which felt a little awkward for a second, and again seeing the topic was making me uncomfortable, he now said, " You've been a good friend, I'm glad I was able to tell you."
I hesitated but politely acknowledged him with a cautious nod and smile. It still made me nervous, and when he continued by saying, “It’s really nice to be able to hang out with you,” I naively smiled, but I didn’t look at him.
In a weird way, it was kind of nice to hear he liked hanging out with me and it did put my mind at ease, because I liked being with him too, but the thought of sleeping with another guy was definitely not what I would ever consider.
We didn’t say anything for a minute or so, but I sensed John was searching for something to say, something that would tell him I might be open to trying it, but the more I thought about it, the more nervous it made me.
Seeing his opportunity was slipping away, he again said, "I don’t want to embarrass you,” which made me look up.
He was smiling confidently, and then reaching his hand across the table he boldly said, “I wanted you to know,” and then as we looked at each other, John subtly said, “I’m attracted to you.”
“Oh my god,” I thought, “what was he telling me?”
Not know what to say, as I continued to cautiously look down at his hands on the table, he tactfully suggested , "I don’t know if you’re open to it, but I’ve been thinking about asking you to come over to my apartment.”
“What, what did he just say to say,” I thought?
The conversation was really making me uneasy, I didn’t know what to do; this man was my only way back to school, but then as he pulled his hands back off the table, he tried to take back the offer saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything,” and finished by subtly hinting, “Unless you want to.”
Thought were racing through my head, “Oh my god, did he really just suggest I come over to his place, so he could, have sex with me?”
The thought of being alone with him was racing through my head, but it was obvious that John wanted me to know how he felt. It was troubling, and it left me speechless and eventually I think he knew the subject was making me nervous and feeling he had overstepped, he said, "Come on, let's go," trying to suggest it was time to leave.
Looking up, relieved to be going made me smile, but he had shown his hand, and as we left the restaurant, heading back to the game room, he pressed the issue a little more by saying, "I hope you'll think about it.”
Yea, I was probably curious about going to his apartment being he had built up our friendship, and I know he was hoping he could somehow convince me to go to his apartment with him, but deep down, I felt it was wrong because I knew he wanted to have sex with me.
Again, I didn’t say anything, and looking out the side window, trying to distance myself, John blurted out, “You’ve been such a good friend,” which brought me back, and when he said, “let me get you something,” I hesitant but curious thought, “What is he saying?”
Sensing him looking over at me, waiting for me to answer, and when I didn’t say anything, he boldly asked, “Is there anything you want?”
It was apparent, he wasn't going to let it alone, so I simply said, "I don't know."
The rest of the way back to the game room, I was quiet, but as we pulled into the parking lot, he said, “Please think about it, okay?”
I wanted to get out of the car, I wanted to get away from him, but as I opened the door he quickly said, “Don’t forget to tell me what I can get you.”
Politely smiling, I told him I’d think about it, how could I not, he had basically just said that he wanted to have sex with me. It was troubling, it didn't sit well with me at the time, but I of course thought about it, how could I not.
A couple days later, I ended up venturing back to the game room to hang out with friends, and seeing me, John of course approached and asked me if I had thought about his offer.
I told him that I had, but said, I’m not sure.”
Thinking he might have convinced me, he smiled and said, "Come on, let's go get something to eat."
I felt pressured to go, and in the car on our way to the restaurant, he asked, “What is it you would really like to have?”
Hastily, I told him,”Nothing.”
Seeing there might be an opening, he felt hard-pressed to get an answer and again asked, "Come on, there has to be something you would really like to have,” and then said, “I wanta get you something.”
At the restaurant, we didn’t really talk about much, but I felt that he wanted to continue to find out what it would take to get me over to his apartment, because he continued to pressure me.
There was one thing I really wanted and when I eventually told him, “I really want a car,” he seemed to be dazed.
Yea, I really wanted a car but I said it, hoping he’d somehow realize I didn’t want to go with him to his apartment however, looking at me he suddenly grinned. Right then I thought,“Oh my god,” I had just given him the opening he was looking for.
Pausing, he half excitedly asked, “What kind?”
Nervously, I told him I wasn't sure, but needing to get an answer, he kept probing to know, saying, “Come on, there must be one you’re really thinking about.”
He had definitely sparked my interest, and he knew it, but I again told him I really wasn't sure. I never actually thought he would get me a car, I didn’t want to commit to going with him, but he didn’t want to lose this chance, to hopefully get me in bed.
We eventually left the restaurant, and as we were driving back to the game room, he said, “Let me know what kind you want,” and then continued by saying, “I’ll see what I can do.”
For some reason, I felt okay with this conversation, because naively I thought he had just said he'd get me a car. I was so excited to have a car and foolishly convinced myself he’d get me one, no strings attached.
All I could think about was having a car, I wasn’t thinking that I would be giving him the opportunity to have sex with me, and really it probably would be more than just once.
When we pulled into the parking lot, he reminded me to let him know what kind of car I would like, and when I said I would, he immediately asked if I would be able to tell him tomorrow.
Hesitantly, I told him I would try and as we got out of the car and went inside the game room, we went our separate ways.
He had really got me thinking about what kind of car I would like to have and as I thought about all the different kinds, I wasn’t thinking about what would happen if I actually went through with it and told him.
I was torn, I wasn’t sure what to do, but the next day when I went over to the game room, there he was. Seeing me, he immediately came up and asked if I had made a decision. I wasn’t sure how to answer, or if I should, but eventually said, “Yea.”
Smiling John simply said, "Great, let's go for a drive and you can tell me!"
Even though his response was somewhat reserved, it was obvious he was excited, and as we pulled out of the parking lot he asked, “Okay, so what is it.”
I was nervous to say anything, but when I told him what I wanted, he smiled and excitedly said, “Okay, I’ll start looking, but it might take me a little.”
It was out there now and I became very excited to have a car, but again I wasn’t thinking about what he would expect in return. A week or so went by, and then while I was up at the game room, he came up to me and casually said, “Hey, I found the car.”
I was shocked but anxious too and when he suggested we take a drive, I couldn’t believe he had found it already. He was really good at pumping up the situation, and in the car, he said he had seen it, and said it was really nice.
John could obviously see my excitement and continuing the façade said, “All it needs is to be cleaned up a little,” and then he told me I could probably have it in a week or so.
I was so excited to see it and drive it, but now John had a question for me. I should have known but when he said, "Well, since I found the car, do you think you'll come over to my apartment now?”
I didn’t know what to say and in all actuality, I knew there was going to be a catch to this whole thing. After a short pause he said, "I’ll tell you what, you come over to my place with me tomorrow afternoon and try it, if you don't like it, we'll stop and you can still have the car, what do you say."
Apprehensive, I didn’t say anything and when we returned to the game room, he said, “Why don’t you think about it and then come by tomorrow and let me know what I want to do.”
I was eager to have a car but worried about what would happen at his apartment. Yea, I was a little curious, and I kept reminding myself, “He said I could have the car, even if I decided not to go though with it.”
