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CAUTION: If you don't like smoking or incest, please read something else. You have been warned.
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I shambled toward the bathroom nude and half asleep, like a usual morning. I was glad all my classes and exams were done for the school year. I’d have three months of summer freedom, before I returned in September. In a year I’d finally have my PhD!
I reached to close the bathroom door behind me as my father asked someone, “When did you start smoking?” The question seemed odd, so I hesitated.
I was much more surprised to hear the ‘click’ of a cigarette lighter and a young girl answering. “Half year ago, on eighteen birthday. I love smoke after sex.”
He commented, “Watching you smoke is hot, like you looking in my eyes when you blew me. You’re such a sexy beauty! I love you so much!”
I stood just inside the door, listening intently. She asked, “Love you, too. You want go out for breakfast?” Her English was quite good but had a strong accent, I thought maybe Czech or Romanian.
Dad replied, “Here’s the remote. Watch something while go I cook. How about champagne breakfast, to celebrate?”
“Sure!” I noticed a slight haze forming in the hall, and the odor of her menthol cigarette.
“Last night was wonderful! I can hardly believe you let me in your bum, too!”
“Took many days practice, but kinda like anal now. Regular fuck better, but I know man love it.”
Several disturbing thoughts blared in my mind, ‘DAD! BLOWJOB! ANAL! FUCKING! With a girl who’s EIGHTEEN! Champagne! Smoking in the house!’
I was shocked again by another lighter click and another young-sounding female voice. “It AMAZING when she lick me and you poke tongue in my butt! So great!”
Dad replied, “Anything for my hot little fiancée and her sexy twin sister! Back in a bit, sweeties.” I heard footsteps approaching and finally closed the bathroom door all the way.
I thought intently as I showered, and realized I should stop Dad from making any more terrible mistakes. I wondered if he was going senile, as I quickly threw on a bathrobe. I worried further while I quietly walked down to the kitchen.
I turned the corner. Dad took eggs out of the fridge two at a time and set them in a bowl on the stove. He was surprised to see me and stepped away, shouting “Yah!” His hands rose and the eggs fell to the floor, making a mess.
“Look what you made me do! Pass the paper towels!”
I was concerned and a bit offended by what he’d done. “And what did YOU do? You. . . you ABUSED two girls last night? Only EIGHTEEN! Ten years younger than I am?”
“Hah! It’s hardly abuse if they ripped my clothes off and asked for it! I got them off twice each, and Zegzy squirted in my face. I’m marrying her next week. Her sister Titianna had a great time, too.”
“WHAT?”
He put away the eggs that were still intact, then took out his cell phone. “Screw cooking and the mess. Pancake Shack, it is.” I had several more questions, but he didn’t seem to hear them. He ignored me and focused intently on the small display while he ordered.
When he finally put the phone back in his pocket, I asked, “What the Hell do you think you’re doing, sleeping with TEENAGERS at over sixty! Disgraceful!”
“Their mother was a prostitute. She wanted to give them an advantage if they took up the same trade. Zegzy truly is sexy, as her name implies. Titianna’s name really fits, too, since she’s slender with D cups. She’s looking for a boyfriend, if you’re single?”
“WHAT!”
“I ordered your favorite, too, eggs Benedict. Be a gent, and bring breakfast to us when it gets here in half an hour?” He took a bottle from the bottom of the fridge and licked his lips. “The girls get champagne, but I’m thirsty for more nookie nectar. Heh heh heh!”
He patted my shoulder, then ignored more of my complaints as he walked upstairs. “After divorcing Mom, you gave up on women for ten years. You’re starting back up with girls fresh out of high school? Younger than your KID? You’re over three times their age!”
I heard his bedroom door close, then I went to my room and put on a shirt and jeans. It was quite smoky upstairs and the smell bothered me. I opened the hall window, turned on the bathroom exhaust fan, and sprayed around some air freshener.
I started my laptop and looked up dementia and Alzheimer’s. Other than his activities with the girls, most of the symptoms didn’t fit. I was looking up other conditions when the doorbell rang. I stood up to go answer it and called out, “I got it!”
Dad grunted a reply, “Thanks!” I was disturbed to hear an even louder female grunt, “EEENGH!” and a girl saying, “Gimme towel. I clean her.” I sighed and walked downstairs, shaking my head. I grumbled to myself, “Two of them! Only eighteen, at his age!”
I carried in the food thinking, ‘The youngest girl I ever dated was twenty at the time, the same as I was! I haven’t even kissed anybody in a year, but the old fart…’ I knocked at his door. “Breakfast is up.”
Dad had quit smoking when I was a little boy, but lit a cigar as the door opened.
A gorgeous bleach-blonde took one of the paper bags from me and gestured toward the bed. Her only apparel was a white G-string! “Come, we eat.” Her large bare breasts competed for my attention with the voluptuous redhead on the bed, who was fastening her light green bra.
The bag of breakfast dropped from my grasp as I exclaimed, “GAH!”
He introduced me to the nearly nude hotties, “Zegzy, Titianna, this is my son Peter. We need to extend your visas tomorrow, then I go back to the lab in Ostrava for a week. He’ll stay with you while I’m gone. Won’t you, Peter?”
“Ah, but, um. . .”
He held one of the redhead’s buttocks and said, “They’re amazing in bed, truly marvelous! You’ll give Titianna a chance, right?” He pointed his cigar at the topless chesty blonde.
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