What I am recounting here is a completely true story of how I ended up in bed with another man after 24 years of faithful marriage, the beginning of something that is still ongoing. Its not something I planned or even expected to happen, but I can say that guilt is one thing that I have not had an issue with. We all have needs in this life. Attention, affection, love, and sometimes just the overwhelming desire for a sexual connection that absolutely does not exist in your life anymore. I had just that, but had no idea how bad until he brought it out in me. If giving in to that desire makes me a bad person then I guess I’m just a bad person.

A little about me. I’m a 57 year old white female, married for 24 years, a nurse at a geriatric facility, and although I always wanted, I had no children. At 5’5” tall and 210 pounds I’m not the type that just grabs attention from most men. In fact, up until now that sort of thing didn’t cross my mind anyway. You get to a point of just making your way through life accepting how things are. I guess my most favorable attributes are my shoulder length brown hair, which shows very little gray yet, and 42D breasts that really don’t sag much for my age, probably the only upside to never having kids. So why no kids? Simply put it just never happened. My husband and I tried for years but he just didn’t quite have what it took I guess. I always checked out fine and my doctor said there was nothing physically wrong with me to keep me from getting pregnant. My husband on the other hand wasn’t up to par there.

Him and I have always, and still do, get along fine but ever since we came to grips with the fact we were not going to raise a family the bedroom scene gradually faded away. I tried for many years to encourage sex, to take the initiative, but it not often worked. His sexual interest in me was gone and before I knew it over three years had passed since we last had sex. Not once had I ever strayed from our marriage and even now had no thoughts of it. We had moved on to separate bedrooms and living more like roommates. I took care of my needs in privacy whenever I wanted and just accepted it as normal. I was never overly promiscuous sexually, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19. I only had three partners before my husband. All were white, average, boyfriends. I will admit I did give oral to a few others in the time period, dating back to my mid teen years. That is something that I have always had a fondness for doing.

So, enough of my back story. Here is how I became reawakened to sex, and why I have no guilty conscience. The only thing that eats at me now is having to keep it quiet. So writing this is my out for that. I work the 3p-11p shift at the facility with several other nurses and aides. Yes I know nurses are supposedly the “wild” ones or whatever. I guess to a point its true. We always talk and laugh and invariably sex will end up in conversations and sometimes I would get a little irritated hearing the others talking about stuff I wasn’t getting. There is one nurse named Valerie who is quite a bit younger than me, black, single, and always talking up her sexual adventures. What this ended up getting her was a constant earful about my lack of sex, children, and me telling her she didn’t know how lucky she was to be able to play around when she wanted. My biggest problem was that I had always had what I imagined was a normal sex drive but once I went through menopause I was one of those ladies who’s drive skyrocketed! I guess without realizing it I was becoming a party pooper so to speak with my complaining. She used to tell me to stop bitching and do something about it.

One evening about three months ago a young black guy comes into the facility to the desk. I saw him and he said he was there to see his mom. I asked which room she was in and he said “no she is a nurse here”. I guess I had a bit of a shocked look on my face when I realized who his mom was. She is actually 3 years younger than me and this guy is her son! I was certainly old enough to be his mom! Talk about making me feel old! We all had a good laugh from that and I learned his name was Jarrod and he was 32 years old. He had just moved back to the area after working for some real estate firm in North Carolina for a while. He was single, no kids, and a much squared away person. And yes he was a handsome young man I will admit. Very well dressed, bald head, short cropped beard and mustache, and appeared to be very fit. I was guessing probably 6’2” tall and maybe 190 pounds. I would come to find out I was right on the height and 10 pounds light on weight. He was a solid man. Be all that as it may I never had the first thoughts of anything sexual, at least not at that point. He would drop by often to bring his mom a meal or chat for a bit but as time went by it dawned on me that he was gravitating to me more each visit. Not making any moves or saying anything out of the way, just hanging around and chatting more one-on-one with me. I found myself looking forward to his visits and our lighthearted conversations. The laughter was good and easy between us. One night we were talking about something, I don’t even remember what, and I saw him look at me with a certain little wry grin that I can’t explain, but it was like it caused a tiny jolt to go through my lower body, one that immediately got the attention of my brain. After 24 years of faithful marriage it caught me off guard because it was a very foreign feeling for me. I maintained my composure (or so I thought) and when I went home to bed later that night I played with myself using thoughts of Jarrod for stimulation, and oh how it worked. I can still get wet but I found myself extra wet while having thoughts of him on and in me. I had a stronger, self-given orgasm than I had in years, and it became a twice or more daily routine. That little jolt I felt was a spark that he lit, one that quickly turned into a hot flame deep down inside me. Laying on my bed, knowing my husband was asleep in the next room while I brought myself to orgasm thinking about a handsome young black man should have made me feel bad I know. But over 3 years with no sex except what I could give myself, no intimacy or passion, was all building up in me now because of a tiny jolt. Nowhere in this awakening was there time or room for guilt. Life had gone past that point now.

Jarrod came by the facility a couple more times and each time he gave me that little grin at some point, with the same resulting jolt deep down in my tummy. Did he want me? No way I thought. Then one night he came by later than usual. It was only a half hour before shift change. I noticed he was dressed down from what he normally was. Sweatpants and t-shirt. He said he had been out playing around in his new Yukon Denali. I dearly love the new ones and was excited to see it. At end of shift I walked out with Jarrod and his mom to check out his new ride. He showed us around it and while doing so it started to rain and was already cool out. His mom is a very no-nonsense person and said we could stand out in the cold rain all night but she was going home. After she left and the shift had all switched it was quiet in the parking lot. Its fairly well lit so I was playing it cool. I would never take the chance of embarrassing myself by making a failed move anyway. I still had no clue this man really had interest in me sexually. He asked me if I wanted to get in the passenger side so he could show me the interior features and without hesitation I was climbing in. I was starting to feel a slickness in my panties when I crawled up into it and I knew in my mind that the only way this was going to turn out innocent was if he didn’t make a move on me. Still no feelings of guilt arose. Just a heat building inside me that was unmatched by anything in my past. As soon as he started the vehicle he had some R&B playing low and all the dashboard stuff was lit up. The music was like an aphrodisiac to me. He said “this thing has so many bells and whistles it can almost make love to you.” I said “then I need to go get me one of these!” and laughed. He showed me how the center console will raise up out of the way, and in doing so his hand found my thigh and he gently squeezed and look me in the eye as he leaned across closer. He whispered “but since it can’t really make love to you it’s going to be my pleasure to take over”. And there it was. Those words just spoken that confirmed I wasn’t imagining things, or hoping for things that wouldn’t happen. Feeling his right arm go around my shoulder pulling me closer while that left hand started up under my scrub top. I felt his kisses on my neck, his tongue on my earlobes. Then his left hand moving higher, rubbing my belly as he made circles around my belly button. I felt no guilt or hesitation, just a burning need. Given my weight I have an ample belly, and he whispers to me how much he loves my tummy and how sexy it is. Then he starts kissing me, deep French kissing. My husband and I hadn’t French kissed in years. Jarrod’s tongue felt so warm and good in my mouth as his hand pushed my bra up above my tits. While still kissing me I felt his large hand cover my bare left breast. Then his fingers were on my nipple, gently rolling it and pinching it while kissing all up and down my neck. That’s when I started feeling a distant rolling in my tummy, a building of energy. He was about to make me cum and hadn’t even touched my pussy. Pulling my scrub top and bra higher he suddenly enveloped my nipple in his hot mouth. Rolling his tongue around my nipple in a much practiced way. I was breathing very heavy, almost hyperventilating at this point. I was going to cum with no vaginal stimulation for the first time ever. His tongue was like magic on my left nipple while he pinched and rolled the right. Then just as I was on the edge he just stopped. He sat there looking at me while I caught my breath, unfulfilled, and I asked him what was wrong. He said “nothings wrong, I just want to find out where all this heat I feel is coming from before we set off the fireworks”.

He grinned as he started kissing me again and I felt his hand going into my scrub bottom and under my panties. He stopped when his fingers found my pussy lips, he said “damn girl how long it been since your old man took care of this pussy?” I said “a long time”. He said “how long?” and I replied “its been 3 years”. He said “girl you’re soaking wet. That’s where you need me to go ain’t it? You need me to work that hot, wet, neglected white pussy?” All I could manage was “yes”. His fingers went to my clit again, rubbing circles around it and making my hips squirm uncontrollably. Then a finger slowly worked its way into my soaking wet pussy. He slid easily up into my yearning love tunnel. I tried to spread my thighs wider for him but my scrub bottoms were restricting me. He pushed them down my legs to my ankles and my thighs opened up for him, giving him full access to my steaming pussy. He had me lay my seat back to give him even more access. His finger once again in my pussy he said “damn girl, you’re virgin tight. No doubt you never had babies and your old man must not be very big. I’m gonna turn you into a real woman, make you need this black cock. You need that don’t you”. Again all I could muster was a breathless “yes”. I felt a second finger enter me, a stretch that felt as big as my husbands dick used to feel, with only 2 fingers. He would take them out and rub circles around my asshole, putting pressure there but never trying to push in. His fingers back inside my pussy, fucking me with his hand while his thumb started rubbing my clit, I felt my juices running down my crack, my pussy making squishing sounds as his fingers worked my pussy and clit. My orgasm was so close, so needed. My hips, as with a mind of there own, were gyrating and pushing up against his hand. Once again he stopped, holding his fingers perfectly still inside me, not allowing that final explosion. He whispered in my ear “what you want me to do baby?” “Let me cum, please let me cum. Make me cum now please.” With that he suddenly started finger fucking my pussy and stimulating my clit fast and a little rough, making my hips buck up into his hand. His mouth then closed on my nipple, sucking it deep and hard into his mouth, biting my stiff nipple as he increased his assault on my pussy and all of a sudden it all welled up inside me, my orgasm exploding out of me, and with it I squirted, all over his hand, all over his brand new seat and floorboard, soaking his hand. Thank God for leather seats and Weather Tec flooring. My back had arched up and my thighs spread as far as they could. My orgasm seemed to last forever and I almost felt like I was going to pass out before it finally subsided and I fell back on the seat, spent but feeling so much relief, but still no guilt, or even thoughts of my husband at home. And I had just squirted for the first time in my 57 years. Until that moment I wasn’t even sure if squirting was a real thing, or just something imagined by some women.

Jarrod laid his seat back and then leaned over to me. Gently kissing and nibbling on my lips and giving me his tongue, which I readily accepted. I felt his hand cupping my breast, rubbing and gently squeezing it. I told him then that I needed to feel him inside me. The thought of feeling a hard dick up in my pussy was already making me tingle again. He said “oh you gonna feel plenty of this black cock opening that white married pussy, but not now, not here. I’m gonna need plenty of room and a lot of time to work you over like you need, like you want.” With that he laid back in his seat and said “why don’t you come over here and check out whats going to be taking that tight pussy.” I suddenly realized I had been so caught up in his mastering of my body that I hadn’t even felt or seen his cock yet! I thought this man had so much self control, to not even have rubbed himself or taken it out during all his manipulation of me. I leaned over and moved down to his waist. Thankfully his windows were very tinted and now very fogged over so no one could really see anything that had happened, or what was getting ready to happen. By the dash lights I could see his sweatpants had a rather large bulge, a straining tent was raised up. I laid my head on his chest and slowly slid my right hand into his sweats. The first thing I noticed was no underwear, he had obviously planned this little meeting beforehand. Easy access as they say. My hand found that hot, rock hard meat and I knew for sure he was packing more than my husband or any other man I had known, quite a bit more. I struggled to get it out and he finally raised his hips and slid his pants down. I could see by the dash lights as his cock sprung out and stood straight with an upward curve. Now I guess by porn standards he wasn’t huge but I confirmed he was much bigger than I had before. Probably 7 ½ to 8” but a very thick, circumcised dark cock. At least 2 inches or so longer than my husband. The head was actually thicker than the shaft, straining with erection. I wrapped my hand around it but was unable to fully close my fingers. Slowly stroking its length. I felt precum on the tip, which I spread around, and run my hand down to his balls. They were full and tight and matched his cock in size. Gently and slowly I lowered my head and took the head into my mouth. It felt hot and tasted salty from his precum. He moaned as I pushed my head further down, taking a couple inches of that cock in my mouth. His girth prevented me from being able to get much of his length in. I finally managed about 5 inches with a steady rhythm, alternating sucking, stroking, and swirling my tongue around the head. My husband would always cum within 3 or 4 minutes from a blowjob. Even with all the arousal Jarrod must have felt while working my body he still lasted probably 20 minutes or so before I sensed his breathing quicken a bit. From a decent amount of experience I knew the increasing signs of a mans ejaculation. I continued making love to his dark cock with my mouth and tongue. Then I felt his hips begin to move and with a hand cupping his balls I could feel them moving, constricting. It wouldn’t be long now before I experienced the first black cum of my life. After how incredible he had made me feel I wanted to give him the same explosive orgasm. I needed him to feel it. I felt him place his hand on the back of my head, gently pushing me down on that raging hard-on. I knew where he wanted to cum, and I was more than willing to accept it. I felt his ball sack tighten even more and his shaft starting pulsing in my mouth as he held my head and started pumping more of his cock up into my mouth. All at once he froze and I knew he was ready to release. I pulled back a little because I wanted to feel him cum in my mouth and not waste it down my throat. I needed to taste him. I will admit I was not totally prepared for the amount of cum that began to spew from the head of his cock. One pulse after another as he filled my mouth with hot, salty, sweet sperm. How I was able to take it all and swallow without losing a drop I’m not really sure but I did. His cum was anything but watery like my husbands. It was thick, I could feel its almost jelly like consistency in my mouth. Between loud grunts and bucking up into my mouth I heard him say “that’s right, taste that baby seed girl”. I continued to work him with my mouth until he was totally spent and I had gotten all the cum out of him. As I lay with my head on his stomach recovering from my exertion I thought about his words “baby seed”. Where had that come from? What was going on in his mind. Even though I had finished menopause and my baby making days were over what he had said was still a very arousing thought.

I looked up at the clock on the dash and was stunned to realize we had been going for almost 2 hours! Right there in the parking lot at my job. I wasn’t worried about my husband, I occasionally had to work late anyway so no problem explaining my late arrival home. Again, no feelings of guilt there. What I did fear was losing my job for getting caught doing something like this on job property. As I pulled my scrub bottoms up and adjusted my bra and top I realized I had squirted on my bottoms and they were very wet. But I knew if my husband was still awake, which he probably wasn’t, all I had to say was that a patient had spilled something on me and he would never have reason to question it. Right before leaving I asked Jarrod if he really wanted me in bed. He said ”oh I’m going to have your white ass all over MY bed. Give you something you ain’t ever experienced before, in a way you will never forget, and very soon. Once I get done taking that tight pussy you will be throwing rocks at your old man.” Before I closed the door we exchanged phone numbers and I put his in my contact list under a female name. He reminded me to always delete our texts, just in case. As I drove home I almost felt like I was having an adrenaline dump, but at the same time my body felt more alive and energized than it had in a very long time, maybe ever. And I hadn’t even mated with the man....

So during the next couple weeks I had plenty to think about, much to ponder, and incredible moments to relive in my mind. I was perplexed in a way that I felt no guilt for letting that whole experience happen. It felt so natural and so easy. But I reasoned that if my husband had been taking care of my needs at home I would never have even considered stepping out on him. His fault then? As far as I was concerned “yes”. And what about the fact that Jarrod was black? Would I have cheated with a white man in the same situation? Yes of course I would. It was the sexual contact I craved, not skin color. Jarrod just happened to be the man who came along showing me the attention. But now I was totally realizing that Jarrod being black, and a bit dominant, was indeed very arousing in a way that another white man probably wouldn’t be. I had also seen a side of him that certainly doesn’t show in public. The dominant side. Yes he exudes confidence but not the dominance. That night in his Yukon showed me that while he was still respectful and attentive to my needs he was also dominant and in control of the whole situation. Some of the things he said to me and did to me showed he was boss, but something about that attracted me even more. He didn’t rush to get his dick in me, was comfortable dragging it out. He knew damn good and well I would come back for more. He was confident that he had claimed this white wife that night, even though he had not even bedded her yet.

Jarrod came by work to see his mom a few times during that 2 weeks but we managed to hide the fact that anything had happened. We texted some but he didn’t mention anything sexual much. I was starting to think he was already losing interest. Or was he letting my desire brew inside me, working me up to it. If that was his game it was working. I had increased to masturbating 3 and 4 times a day. Whenever I could. Then my husband announced to me that him and a couple buddies were going on a fishing trip the following weekend. Leaving around noon on Friday and coming back late Sunday afternoon. This was nothing unusual because they normally took this trip every couple months and it was about 3 hours from home. I honestly had a very hard time hiding my excitement and anticipation. I texted Jarrod and gave him the news. His reply was “good, you best prime yourself for a couple days of giving that white married pussy up to a black stud. That pussy ain’t never going to be the same.”

The next five days dragged by like months. Finally Friday came and my husband and friends hit the road. I immediately went in and got in the tub, bathing in sweet scented body wash and for the first time in my life I shaved my pussy. I was concerned that my husband would see that and be suspicious so I left it natural up top and shaved the lower part. The only way he would notice is if he spread my thighs, yeah right! After I finished I called Jarrod and asked him what he would like me to wear. He told me to wear my nursing scrubs because I looked sexy in them. But he also said “no panties or bra.” That was a turn-on because I had never left home without bra and panties. He had given me directions to his house, which was secluded out in the country, so I wasn’t concerned with discretion being an issue. When I got in my car and began the 20 minute drive to his house I was surprised to realize I wasn’t nervous at all, just full of anticipation and uncontrollable desire to know how this next couple days would change my outlook on life, my body, and my sexual satisfaction. All at the hands of this dominant, confident black man who would open my world to new experiences, and open a lot more than that. This man that I was now totally infatuated with. But still not a hint of guilt.

My adventure into the world of interracial lust, and the sexual awakening my black lover would deliver will be continued in part 2.....