#ItDoesn’tChafe

Part XIII

‘I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t cook if my life depended on it. It’s a miracle Tris hasn’t left me yet, over my inability to cook.’ Violet speared another green aspargus, blanched and grilled lightly, dripping with butter and moved it’s head to her mouth. Ronnie and Max exchanged glances and both suppressed giggles. Their anticipation was rewarded. Violet once again first sucked off the salty butter glaze off the aspargus spear and only then bit down on it, gently even, before masticating it tenderly. Even Tristan was noticing it and shaking his head in equal parts quiet embarassment and excitement.

Ronnie had invited their neighbours over for a sit down dinner. The dogs were being very well behaved and were spread around the kitchen, dining room and living room, not making a fuss, so their moms and the visitors could have a nice meal. Tristan had expressed his amazement about this twice now during the meal. Their own dog would have molested the visitors for cuddles, as he put it or simply to steal their food. They had a slightly over enthusiastic golden retriever boy. He was most definitely a boy. He made sure everyone knew and understood he was a boy. Their own boys looked at him with pity. The girls with disdain.

‘Oh, before I forget again, Jim dropped a package off for you guys yesterday. It’s huge.’ ‘A fate not to be envied. To be cursed with a huge package and no women at home to receive it.’ Ronnie quipped. The joke flew right over Violet’s head. Tristan and Max did understand though and grinned and rolled their eyes at her.

‘Max, can you go with Violet next door after dinner to pick up Jim’s huge package?’ Ronnie asked endearingly. Fluttering her eyes at her, totally innocently. Max had to suppress her laughter. Violet was the secret butt of many a joke at her expense for not catching on to so many of the double entendres fired in her general direction and her innocent yet often erotic mannerisms, like the licking and sucking of the aspergus spears as she’d done this time.

Max had been extra naughty, by once again picking food items that of course carried some erotic connotation. Last time they’d done oysters. The three of them had to excuse themselves several times from the table as they saw Violet struggling and licking the oysters. That night the amount of mutual oral as Max and Ronnie had 69-ed each other, had been one for the books. With half the time both of them mimicking the awkward tongueing of the oyster by Violet and then suddenly getting into it and slurping loudly ending in an again audible swallow and a sigh of contentment. In bed the sigh was followed by lots of giggles and some entreaties of ‘don’t stop’ and other more adult bed room instructions.

After dinner coffee with expensive bonbons and liquor allowed them all to relax. Violet managed to not make any more inadvertent erotic remarks, though the three of them were all actively listening for it. Tristan was having a lot of fun, all in good fun though, they never tried to cross the line into outright cruelty.

‘So what do you think is in the package?’ Violet asked. ‘Depends on who it’s addressed to: if it’s mine, it’s definitely dog or sheep things. I’m so bad at keeping track of what I’ve ordered and what actually arrived. If it’s a big package, it could be a drying crate for the dogs or a scale for the sheep. Can’t think of the top of my head what else I ordered. What did you order Max?’ Max suddenly felt the need to change the subject. Her face though betrayed her. It was something naughty. Something that they shouldn’t discuss with the neighbours.

‘I can barely remember what I did three minutes ago, let alone what I ordered, probably months ago, especially if it’s from China. I guess it’ll be a surprise, when I open it.’ Ronnie thought she caught on but decided to tease her girlfriend a bit and make her sweat. ‘What’s that thing again that you ordered last month, for the bedroom? That huge thing you showed me? Think that’s it? The violently pink one. It was silicone?’ She saw Max blanche. Oh sod, it was a sex toy! In the package. Ronnie quickly took her glass of amaretto to her mouth and said: ‘You know what, why don’t I take Violet and the dogs to the backyard and then Tris and you can go get the box. I think the new season of Stranger Things has dropped just now. It’s 8 pm. Then we can watch that together, if you guys like?’

Calamity avoided, they split up, let the dogs have the run of the yard for a minute and then indulged in the Stranger Things season finale. The package totally forgotten. Till it was bed time. There was a huge box on the middle of the bed. It didn’t have a bow on it, but it felt like it should have had one. Max looked at Ronnie and bit her lip. ‘I got you a celebration present, because you’re all better now. Go on, open it.’

As Ronnie moved to the box, she saw the excess of markers on each face to not use scissors, box-cutters or other sharp implements. She struggled a bit with the tape, but eventually got purchase to open the top flap. She saw a lot of air cells and then: A Teddy! She squealed as she pulled it out. It was a big teddy. Extra stuffed and fluffy. And an exact replica of her own, but at least one quarter size larger.

And. .. he had a. .. well, ehm. .. he had a fluffy teddy bear dong. If was open ended and it had a discrete set of toggles and loops at the back end, so people who felt the need to outfit the teddy with dildo, could do so. And seemingly it was designed to be able to turn inside out, effectively making it a holster for a fleshlight, if you swung that way.

Ronnie started crying, overcome by emotions of love for her girlfriend and the new teddy. She felt so stupid. And assaulted Max, hugging her, but never letting go of the huge teddy. ‘I love you!’ ‘I know.’ Max grinned. She pulled out the anatomically correct K9 dildo and the large bottle of lube. ‘Let Teddy and me show you how much we love you.’ She winked luridly. Max lay back on the bed for a night of debauchery that wouldn’t involve aspargus spears. It’d be red rockets tonight.

The End

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If you’d like hearing more of Max and Ronnie’s life, let me know in the comments. They have a lot more adventures.