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Sex games

WAKE UP

Author: Stephanie Sarg

Date: 30 January 2004

Fiction

  • Font:

Картинка к рассказу

It was earlier than usual when Tom opened his eyes from a good nights sleep, and while looking over at Gary who was still fast asleep, Tom could help but think of how lucky he was to have someone like Gary as a room mate and lover. Both in their early twenties, they were different as night and day. Tom was tall and blond with a definite mid western appeal, while Gary on the other hand was short and dark with the thick accent of an east coaster. What they both had in common, however, was a deep love for each other.
Tom pulled back the covers to expose Gary's sleeping form, lean and muscled like a swimmer, and it turned him on immensely to his friend naked. When they moved in together over a year ago it was agreed that they would always sleep in the nude so that either one always would have easy access to the other's body, and at this very moment Tom was looking at Gary's very hard penis with excited lust! Gary had a beautiful penis! It was uncircumcised, about seven and a half inches long and seemed to be hard all of the time, and it was times like this that Tom felt so fortunate! He leaned over and gently took Gary's hardness into his mouth and sucked softly on the velvety smooth head. In a few moments Gary began to stir and soon a small smile crept across his lips. "Good morning lover," he said, as he caressed Tom's cheek, pulling Tom from his pecker and giving him a deep satisfying kiss, their tongues intertwined as they groped each other's hardons.

Gary found Tom's big cock and softly jerked it as they continued to kiss, God how he loved that big dick, at least nine inches long and big around as your wrist! They had been to many a party that Tom turned out to be the center of attention of, not only because of his Hollywood type good looks, but also because of the massive pecker that hung between his firm thighs! What really turned Gary on was the fact that after all the sucking and fucking were over, Tom always came home with him to their own bed. Gary broke the kiss and whispered, "I'm going to suck you," and with that he slid his mouth down to the huge pecker that was sticking out from Tom's smooth flat belly. "God he tasted good!" The head was soon back in Gary's throat as he worked his lips and tongue up and down the blue veined shaft. Hearing Tom groan with pleasure made Gary suck all the harder! There was nothing like sucking cock in the morning, and sometimes a guy just needed to feel a head in his mouth! Gary had a huge oral fixation and he knew it!

Tom on the other hand loved getting his ass reamed out by big cocks, and he was so glad that Gary loved fucking his ass! "Gary," Tom whispered, "Fuck me, please!" Gary reluctantly let Tom's meat slip from between his lips and shifted around so he could maneuver his pecker into Tom's waiting asshole. Wetting his hand with his own saliva, Gary moistened his own dick and also Tom's asshole so that his cock would slip right in. Once the head had entered the hole, Gary plunged in and out with easy stokes, causing Tom to whimper as Gary picked up the pace of his thrust's, while reaching down to jerk his pecker as Gary gave him his morning ass fuck! By now Gary was pounding his dick in and out of Tom's now straining butt hole as both boys were now in the midst of an incredible sexual high! The whole show was now being urged on by the steady thrusting of Gary's seven and a half inches of manhood! Gary reached under Tom and pinched his nipples with his right hand while Tom groaned in ecstasy! Tom yelled, "Fuck my ass, fuck my ass," and with those words both boys shot their loads, Tom's spewing all over the bed and Gary shooting deep in Tom's butt, after which both of them collapsed in a heap on top of Tom's gooey semen!

Searching out each other's mouth, they kissed deeply and held each other gently in each other's arms. It was almost time for work, but they still savored each other's company. While taking their shower, they always tried to take them together, taking turns at soaping each other's genitals, while making sure that each other's nut sack got a good going over! Gary had unusually large balls and Tom always enjoyed the time he took letting them roll back and forth in his fingers. The obvious result of all that attention was to give Gary a nice thick hardon, while the warm water coupled with the slick soap always seemed to give the boys big erections, and it was a joy just to be with another male who was as sexually alive as you were, that being usually having a stiffy while your partner was around! The great thing about being gay was that your lover liked sex as much, if not more than you did! In this case, Gary and Tom would spend all day totally naked, with big erections ready to accept a good sucking at the drop of a hat! Sometimes they would have friends over and just spend a few hours lounging around while watching each other masturbate! It was heaven, ten young men, totally naked, slowly jerking themselves to hard climaxes in front each other!!!

After getting out of the shower, they both dried each other off, taking a few seconds to give each other a quick little suck! Later that evening after work they would take their time and let each other ejaculate big loads into each other's warm mouth, and juust thinking about it would make the day pass quickly!


THE END


6173   1 5446   Rating +8.33 [42]

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  • Complain about a story

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Comments 649
  • READER
    READER 500
    26.04.2004 12:54
    this story sucks

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    11.11.2006 12:18
    Yu Fail all of of your tes. You must pose nude to the world.

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    12.11.2006 02:17
    i wud call u dickhead only dicks r useful

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    13.11.2006 22:26
    well, one thing is true: This is the stuff you've ever written.

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    14.11.2006 03:50
    . wow, jsut ..wow, cant we like, get that ip banned?

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    15.11.2006 18:29
    What's the point dickhead?

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    26.12.2006 01:30
    What an ASSHOLE

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    06.04.2007 07:24
    Wonderful! A classic...

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    06.04.2007 07:53
    wanker

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    06.04.2007 12:26
    Disgusting And No Sex Related Things.

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    28.04.2007 22:34
    YOUR STILL EATING IT BEFORE I DO! *runs away like a lil bitchy bitch* ^^

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    26.11.2007 00:13
    what the fuck, dude

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    29.02.2008 18:03
    Wow really stupid

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.05.2008 00:48
    This was duh-duh-duh-dumb.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.07.2008 03:49
    FUCKING LAME

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.01.2009 23:30
    I like it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.02.2009 04:59
    the most stupidest thing ever

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.04.2009 11:13
    this is the first ever story posted, thats so cool! now suck ma dick bitch

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.04.2009 18:17
    Fuckin' wack

    Answer 0

  • aymanhafez
    07.07.2009 16:08
    good

    Answer 0

  • plasticpants
    14.11.2009 11:26
    Good story. It is a shame the formatting of the web page has gone wrong. Perhaps the webmaster could attend to this

    Answer 0

  • HardDaddy1960
    15.11.2009 20:25
    The format is a bit hard to read but the story itself and the topical content is very hot. I really liked it.

    Answer 0

  • HardDaddy1960
    15.11.2009 20:35
    I agree, the webpage format makes it difficult to read, but the story is very hot - I loved the slave domination and character play.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.03.2010 11:53
    Good story.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.03.2010 01:04
    paragraphs...please?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.04.2010 14:19
    wow that story made me soaking wet!!

    Answer 0

  • horny+stepsis+julya
    12.07.2010 16:58
    Wow now that was good story, to have fun like that, I thhank you for the memories, when I had my stepsister to seduce me, and it was my best fuck ever, and now she can't get enough of my toys to fuck with have fun

    Answer 0

  • Wet_And_Curious
    14.07.2010 01:45
    Great story, keep up the great work, can't wait to read more from you ;)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.07.2010 23:37
    the story is really great but i'd advise to re-format it

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.08.2010 10:10
    Fucking them of course,but she probably made them pay.

    Answer 0

  • brianmullons
    15.08.2010 15:01
    Fabulous story, has a truthful ring to it

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.08.2010 23:37
    She's an eleven year old hooker now.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2010 21:58
    HAve her resist the other dudes and scream then the bro kicks their asses and takes her home and they have wild passionate sex as they become lovers and joan says your my only one.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.09.2010 00:08
    Very nice story. Please continue it with a part 2

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.11.2010 19:01
    repost and fit it to the page

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.11.2010 20:08
    The gang wouldn't take the chance they would be identified, they'd have killed the bastards, boy first, knife up his ass, left to bleed-out, then daughter tortured to death in front of mother, mother tied-up alive and set on fire to burn down the house and destroy the d,n.a. evidence, that's what I did and got away with it, six years now, police are stupid cunts. Roy Rogers.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.11.2010 23:14
    don't use your ipod.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.12.2010 05:08
    To the guy who calls him self "Roy Rogers"
    u sick basterd! Burned alive? Knifed up the ass?!? Ur sick u need medical help right away dude

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.12.2010 05:08
    To the guy who calls him self "Roy Rogers"
    u sick basterd! Burned alive? Knifed up the ass?!? Ur sick u need medical help right away dude

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2011 15:50
    Oooooooo my god that was good

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2011 16:45
    What the F............!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.04.2011 15:31
    good

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.06.2011 15:50
    what does it say? all i see is numbers

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.06.2011 22:31
    Awesome story,hope there is a part 2

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    04.06.2011 02:20
    Nice language bt wat it is sorry bt i ws weak in arithmetic lol :-D- EL TORO

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.06.2011 15:28
    &#2361 oh wow &#2361 ें पढ़िए WOW !
    You can really math-sturbate over this.....

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.06.2011 01:49
    hahahaha, Math-sturbate, Thats a good one

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.06.2011 07:00
    Total waste of room dude

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.06.2011 07:00
    Total waste of room dude

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.06.2011 12:46
    fuck ur ur bloody asshole bitch..fuck you bastard..fuck u..

    Answer 0

  • il-pam
    22.06.2011 11:44
    i love black cock il-pam

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.07.2011 08:20
    I am fourteen and my sister five years older. We've never got on at all although I admit most of the arguments were caused by me. My sisters fiancee was killed in a road accident and she is absolutely desolate and so I feel sorry for her and set our differences aside. To weeks ago I heard her crying in the early hours of the morning so I went to her room and got into bed with her, she was naked ! ! I'd always slept bare so our skins were together which was nice, and soon, although we had never touched each other before, we were feeling each other. I did for her what I'd long done to myself, nipping my nipples, wetting my fingers and sliding them in my slit and pushing them into my cunt hole and she did the same for me. I was amazed when she showed me how to put my hand fully into her cunt and even more so when she got hers into mine quite easily. With her hand inside my cunt she licked my clitoris and I had my first orgasm. I love my sister now and will fuck only with her from now on

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.07.2011 14:50
    i would really enjoy a part 2 but include more forplay like her learning to suck dick!

    Answer 0

  • breakthrough58
    24.07.2011 16:53
    a part two is on the way

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.07.2011 17:48
    Adding that UNNEEDED line of dashes makes the text go off-screen on the right, don't do it again.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.07.2011 17:49
    "She raped her legs around me" ?????
    How is that possible???

    Answer 0

  • sweetalliebabe
    25.07.2011 02:26
    i liked it but the grammer is bad . i give the story an 8 and the spelling a 3

    Answer 0

  • cajuncashew
    25.07.2011 03:59
    Sorry but I had to give negative rating. You did have a good story line going but it was to short to get into. I do recommend a sequel and a bit more of the action

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.07.2011 00:13
    Read the story it was planned out by the mother.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.08.2011 15:25
    i love the story. please keep it coming so i can keep cumming.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.09.2011 02:33
    I really cuodln't ask for more from this article.

    Answer 0

  • Happy+Rabbit
    17.10.2011 18:36
    Good Girl, Good Boy, Good Sex. Good Story.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2011 18:48
    Grammer and spell check please prior to posting

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2011 19:18
    IT WAS GOOD BUT IT Needed MORE FLARE TO IT

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.10.2011 20:37
    It was a good concept, I think you should have carried on doing things to girls in secret using the watch. Not much wrong for a first try, keep it up!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.11.2011 03:24
    What the fuck is this?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.11.2011 09:37
    hmmm hot if i was a robot

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.11.2011 14:10
    I think the good question is who voted this up? If all the votes had been negitive, how can it be higher then 0%

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.11.2011 15:22
    Learn English, fucking asian ...

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.11.2011 23:26
    my computer might have got horny off of this lol

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    12.11.2011 21:54
    wtf shes your sister.

    Answer 0

  • toothgrinder67
    18.11.2011 20:55
    Go jump in the Meghna river with some heavy chains for buoyancy you stupid cunt

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.12.2011 01:14
    umm yea just because you can write in a numeric language that no one understands does not mean that you should cause i enjoy reading stories and this is just a bunch of bull shit so type it again in english or other language that someone in the world who is not a nerd or geek can understand

    Answer 0

  • xbreex
    14.12.2011 07:01
    A It just looks like spamming

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.12.2011 13:05
    GGYTERFFDQSJKL/O§PM KLKJHHY OUYT FDE ¨µOIUYTT YHHKKL? Ü FSXSCVVFD OOIUYT DDSFF NJKUIUN MP¨£µ
    £¨£££££¨£N UIO O OP 0 OPPMUIPMOMOIIOLLPOPO00P°OPOLKL8UJUJHUYHJKKKLUIOP78I87

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.12.2011 06:04
    what the freak man. thats bullshit. it was all the same number and stuff. hoestly thats not even funny.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.12.2011 06:04
    dude i got hot off this all right. dickhead

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.12.2011 06:05
    i think that my computer got hot. lol.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.12.2011 06:07
    that idiot wrote it in Bengali and posted it like that he doesn't know that bengali texts are not taken in the net lolz

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.12.2011 18:53
    চোদলাম,দুদিন রেখে দিলাম আর চোদে গেলাম আমার বউ মোটেও টের পেলনা।একনো যখন সময় পাচ্ছি ভাবীকে চোদে যাচ্ছি।

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.12.2011 15:50
    How was your sisters pussy?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.12.2011 19:25
    بذجذ.بدفسرحدابدش

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.12.2011 19:35
    WDF Kinda shit is dis dats yhur fucking sister mother fucker

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 11:00
    these stories are vere nised

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 11:01
    these stories are vere nised

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 17:36
    anyone able to post a translation plz?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 13:07
    Might be great, but I did not read it without paragraphs. Use them.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 15:37
    Tried two of your so called 'stories' what a bag of bollocks....will NOT be trying any of the others........

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 16:24
    This story sucks. Not descriptive, makes no sense, just plain stupid all around

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 23:28
    That was a bad story....

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.02.2012 04:06
    lousy fucking story........... why can't husbands and wivesbe truew to each other and not have to fuck other people

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.02.2012 04:21
    this story sucked............

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.02.2012 19:50
    I have a strong hunch that this "story" was lifted from some other source on the net.

    Answer 0

  • nightwatcher
    09.02.2012 04:19
    this is another load of pointless badly written crap, you describe yourself as a novelist, you are useless so do the site a favour and don't post any more

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.02.2012 20:40
    I love the foot job part the overall story was short but fantastic

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.02.2012 18:28
    Dude...you can't write...all your stories are poorly written and just bad reading material

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.02.2012 00:25
    Paragraphs are your friend. Otherwise, nice story.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.02.2012 00:53
    good story tell more

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.02.2012 20:06
    سكس

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.02.2012 21:11
    Far too rushed, no detail

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.02.2012 21:46
    The formatting on every single one of your stories is so awful I've barely been able to read a single one...

    Fix this.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.02.2012 01:43
    It was interesting and I liked it.

    Answer 0

  • dancing+grandma
    21.02.2012 23:57
    Now that was hot!!!!
    dancer

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.02.2012 00:54
    Not bad. I'm not into "gay" stuff but Jay fucking the guys wife was hot. I think she should sneak out on her husband and get Jay all to herself. get pregnant and have Jay's baby.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.03.2012 22:07
    love to have a good cock in my mouth while my ass is fucked hard. then 69 another guy while we both get fucked. mmmmmmmmmmm cum so good to tofilly my ass and mouth.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.03.2012 22:25
    I literally jumped out of my chair and danced after redaing this!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.03.2012 08:26
    I can't bleieve you're not playing with me--that was so helpful.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.03.2012 14:18
    very bad no paragraphs and bad spelling this needs a rewrite. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND EITHER DO IT RIGHT OR NOT AT ALL GET A GOOD EDITOR AND DO A PROPER REWRITE NOW.

    Answer 0

  • liz+22+nd
    10.03.2012 12:33
    it had great potential, and loved reading it, but it could use some extra kick, keep writing and i'll keep reading.. thanks for sharing it with us.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.04.2012 00:30
    You are a low-life, disgusting faggot!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.04.2012 05:35
    learn to space out your sentences

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.04.2012 15:27
    to the guy who keeps posting he cant write seems to me your reading all his stories so he must have some skills lol

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.04.2012 02:38
    that got my dick hard,like to have been in that threesome

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.05.2012 19:17
    And of course that's all true. (I'm being sarcastic)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.05.2012 11:42
    I also find it odd that someone who's fucking his sister likes to pray for another go at her.

    At age 17, how the fuck you know what tight is and what it isn't? All pussy feels tight at that age.

    Tell ya what, make him 35 and she 36, separated at birth and given up for adoption. They find each other and shit starts to happen, that creates much stress between the 2 of them but they give in to their urges. Now that's an incest story line.

    Or

    have him get into an accident and be paralyzed and unable to get out and get laid. Maybe have him married and his wife leaves him and takes everything from him and he has to live with his sister. Have her be extremely shy and plain looking. Have her be a single mother of 3 who doesn't have a life since her ex ran off on her and the kids and now is saddled with her brother's full time needs and the story writes itself.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.07.2012 16:04
    Goddamn it, we're all going to Hell. The end is nigh.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.07.2012 19:07
    this story fucking sucks. Get a life! >:(

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.07.2012 07:39
    Roy rogers ...the day i identify u...i ll make sure that u ll go to hell then n their.
    U r so nt human....fck u.
    N ya i ll nt forget to burn down ur house

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.08.2012 20:19
    Why don't you skip the spacing between words and make it one long scrambled up puzzle?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 07:58
    Format. Oh, yeah and huh? Who was the chick at the beginning? This has potential, but for now is confusing.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 09:59
    Very great story the beggining was confusing at first, but your writing is very good!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 10:00
    Very great story the beggining was confusing at first, but your writing is very good!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 10:10
    Alright, the Girl in the beginning was my EX Girlfriend; Jennifer is my teenage crush.

    The reason I've found so many dislikes is because you can't simply masturbate to this.

    I'd consider myself educated in English Literature, I'm not asking for dislikes whether idiot men like my story.

    This was created for female viewers, a more detailed sex scene will be the next chapter; but not if people find my work confusing.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 11:05
    Your statement implies you have no idea what you are talking about. Not all readers are simply looking for masturbatory fodder. Some are looking for a story that draws them in, holds them spellbound and wanting more. If all male readers wanted was stories that they could quickly masturbate to, then why are writers like rhiannon, daddycums, and buttfukka666 so well received and regarde? And there's the fact that, in all honesty, you don't know whether the ones who voted negative are male or female, and while you hope that females are you fan/readership base, that is highly unlikely. Not because of your writing abilities, or lack there of, but because this is a porn site, visited by a male majority. Also, for someone "Educated in English Literature", you obviously never paid attention in class, or to anything you ever read. And before you think I'm simply an "ignorant male" think again. Rethink your approach and learn from critical comment, not simply deride them as being ignorant.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 11:22
    Excuse me? Logic dictates my statements are correct, lack of reasoning shouldn't discourage your proclaimed statements. Obviously, I've now realized the use of this website has no value to me; what beneficial aspects could be achieved? You dare insult me? Are you someone greater,ore educated? Did you achieve more in life? You're talking to an 18 year old on a pornographic website, spare me with your ultimate understanding. I'll delete my writing. And also English class is boring

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 11:45
    Absolutely terrible writing style. Why all the stupid double spacing and even triple spacing between sentences. If you are educated, why use that string of periods before each quote? This is certainly not taught is English Composition.
    Please spare the readers of this site and refrain from writing again until you LEARN much more about sentence construction. AWFUL!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 12:22
    Insult you? For pointing out flaws in your so called logic? Give me a break. Am I greater? Yes, because I can learn from my mistakes. Am I more educate? Yes. Yes I am. Have I achieved more? I've done more, seen more, lost more, than you have in your short life. It's not ultimate understanding, it's understanding my own flaws and foibles that pressed me to attempt to help you. But then again, I was eighteen once. I know that most are unwilling to look past any words of wisdom not uttered by unknowledgable peers and pop culture. I weep for your generation, and the world that suffers it. And as far as this conversation happening on a porn site, first and foremost, you posted it here. Take your lumps and learn. Secondly, I would say the same thing to you if we were face to face, the only difference is that here you have the option of running away like a child. Go. This site has no use for someone who is unwilling to listen and learn, nor do I.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 18:34
    Search


    bit.ly/RuepD6


    For a better viewing experience

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 18:40
    Your stupidity is unbelievably, you didn't even provide constructive criticism with your original statement; you mentioned nothing towards improvement of writing.

    What piece of knowledge have you presented to somewhat increase my writing abilities? You are the absolute biggest douche, hide behind your anonymous name.

    Honestly, what amazing writing have you written? I'll just leave a massive comment making irrelevant statements and tell you, you're what's wrong with the world.


    bit.ly/RuepD6

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.08.2012 22:22
    I never said anything about your writing style. I pointed out flaws in your logic. And hiding behind my anonymity? You wrote the story, and yet your comments are also anonymous. It's almost as if you hide behind your own accusation. I judged you, not you writing style. I've seen authors on site whose grammar made me cringe, yet I enjoy them because of the story. Calling me a douche? I'm sorry but your childish attempts at name calling belong in highschool, not the real world. You need to grow up. Also, I never claimed to have written or submitted anything to this site, and even if I had or do, someone criticizing my work, or me, would have no impact on me at all. Unless, of course, I saw that they were trying to impart some sort of knowledge upon me. Now, go away, little boy. This site is for adults.

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  • haramiru
    19.08.2012 23:30
    Generally, comments on this site are anonymous. I think the comment system is broken actually, because I've never seen a comment on my stories which DIDN'T claim to come from an anonymous poster. Still, I must echo the sentiments of the others, with a grain of suggestion for improvement: Do what I did when I first started - rip off an author you admire, blatantly. Say, "I'm going to try to write like John Ringo" and actually copy down one of the sex scenes from his novel 'Ghost' for instance. Then try to write like him as you write what happens next; go over it until the differences in style aren't jarring transitions, but smooth ones. Your target author's style will rub off on you as you do so. Now pick another author you like, and another, and another. Your style becomes an alloy of the authors you admire, mixed with your own originality.

    Now, go forth and study in this manner. When next you post here, it shall be better met than this first effort.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.08.2012 00:23
    Oh, I neglected to mention: If you follow my advice, don't post the rip-off stories publicly. Maybe you share them with a friend or two, but respect the authors you're learning from. Your private learning exercises are just that, exercises. Don't just post copies of their scenes under your name, even if you've written every other paragraph. Learn from the process, so that you can go on to write fiction "flavored" by that author's style. I think that's how that chick who wrote 50 shades of grey got her start. Whether you like or hate her stuff, she's rich from it and that's what matters.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2012 01:34
    First. I'm unable to comment while logged in.
    Second. I've only used a scene from one author. about someone catching someone doing something. I've then deleted the scene because people found it "confusing".
    Third. The entire novel was written by me.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2012 02:46
    You call this a novel? Yeah, typical arrogance of a mass-media-fed teenager. You know, I was going to comment positively on this story because I kinda liked it, but then I saw your comments and realized, oh, this is another douch-bag teen who thinks they are oh so wonderful and intelligent simply because their mommy and a teacher told them so. When I was 18, I KNEW I was still a child and had a long way to go before I understood anything in the world, but you kids these days get told by the media every day that every single one of you is special. Well, you arent. You are NOT special, you are one more kid out of a billion on this planet. Your arrogance is pathetic at your age. Of course you will rant and rave against me for what I say, but the truth is, it will be at least a decade before you remember this episode and think to yourself Oh shit, was I ever a little shit back then. I will welcome you to adulthood when that happens.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2012 02:47
    some unexperienced brat writing this story.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2012 03:15
    I'm not going to need your meaning positive comment, thank you for making yourself seem worth something.

    Please bother someone else, fuck off thanks <3

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.09.2012 13:58
    Any idiot like you would know there's none.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.09.2012 14:29
    I meant to do that I did. Plus its called bad joke anybody can figure that out

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.09.2012 14:30
    3

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  • anonymous+reader
    09.09.2012 01:20
    No G's. You should not post something like this. Wastes everybody's time.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.09.2012 04:09
    This sounds funny if u copy and paste to a text reader, like google translate

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.09.2012 07:37
    That was best joke ever! Lmfao no seriously that was awful. Next time throw yourself off a cliff without a parachute. Adios motherfucker!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.09.2012 10:41
    That was best joke ever! Lmfao no seriously that was awful. Next time throw yourself off a cliff without a parachute. Adios motherfucker!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.09.2012 17:41
    كؤرى

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.11.2012 22:36
    that was a great story.

    Answer 0

  • AlexaAky
    09.11.2012 07:56
    Since I'm feeling a little sporty today I think I can put up two stories.
    I don't know for sure, but I think I can.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.11.2012 11:37
    I can take jays place anytime

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.11.2012 12:10
    "you don't talk to me that way!" if we tell her to do something..or she'll say "if you say that again I'm going to hit you" if we tell her no. It's acllutay really funny if you see this in person because her face is hilarious when she's so serious and mad. But, this behavior is not tolerable and I give her a warning and if she continues to be naughty, then into the corner with her nose she goes! I do believe in spanking as well, but I reserve it for very serious things so that way when it happens, they know i mean business. Public is a little more tricky because there is no corner...and if you even THINK the word spanking, you are afraid someone will turn you in! When my girls were Lailey's age and acting out in public, it took no more than 2 times with both of them (Cammy isn't old enough for this yet, but it will happen), to take them in to the bathroom and make them stand there until they decided to act better. Once in the bathroom I got down to their level and very sternly told the

    Answer 0

  • esotericman
    29.11.2012 01:33
    Please, learn to use paragraphs.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.12.2012 23:27
    What is the use of posting here if no one can read it, use your head, unless you had nothing in it.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.12.2012 00:45
    What the fuck Roy Rogers this is a fantasy not a realism you should be arrested for what you did

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.12.2012 03:22
    you had what coulda been a good fan fiction here but you rushed into the sex with no prior explaination... this had a good idea for a story and was cut too short. how ever if you were to redo this one in alot more depth... you would truely have an epic story.

    Answer 0

  • JoshCube
    22.12.2012 08:19
    This fanfic wasn't intended to have a long story, which was why I went straight to the sex part with the only explanation being that they knew my presence. The main points I wanted to focus on was mainly the sex parts, and arousing the reader by exposing the Nintendo girls in a different way you've never really thought about them. I may consider making a longer and more detailed fanfic in the future, or expanding this one by making a part II.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.12.2012 05:36
    I will fuck you up, Joshcube.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.12.2012 17:36
    This is the stupidest shit...

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.12.2012 18:14
    wow, i'm laughing so hard right now, my stomach is hurting. this is some funny shit.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.12.2012 19:13
    Get a fucking life, I like video games as much as the next guy but you need to really grow up

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.12.2012 19:32
    This is absolutely horrible, and does not deserve to be on the Top Rated.

    Come on, you make a story about yourself getting sucked into Nintendo land and hump three imaginary characters that aren't real in real life? I would rather read Tom's Day Off At The Laundry Mat than this crap. Whoever you are, do not make a sequel. Do this for humanity and yourself. You are a sad nerd, even if you have a girlfriend.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.12.2012 20:10
    "and I was fucking her like a black man that didn’t give a shit about child support."

    You racist. =)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.12.2012 00:28
    Well...ya u should prolly get a life. This story was embarrassing just reading it.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.12.2012 05:58
    Guys.... If you don't like it fine but don't be complete dicks and bash the story.

    Answer 0

  • MattC.
    27.12.2012 13:19
    I wish I had that much experiences as you did, how old are you again?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.01.2013 01:06
    This story is for fucking nerds. Only a geek would write a story about him banging Nintendo characters. Let alone, an elf, a princess and a slut. 0/10 「°^°ã€u008d

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    04.01.2013 09:18
    The haters can piss off. This was very hot.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.01.2013 19:28
    this storry is just messed up

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.01.2013 20:30
    Dudes, I think this is a parody. It contradicts and draws attention to some of the famous points of the original, most notably the "they all got pregnant" part, and the opening is a pastiche of JoshCube's blogs about how he never met anybody who could measure up to Marin from Link's Awakening.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.01.2013 23:33
    Nintendo is getting old, I've noticed that nobody really talks about them anymore now days. Ever since Call of Duty type games entered the market, they have gone down the tubes in sales. If they make a comeback with Smash Bros. 4, then maybe they'll have a chance. Other than that, the only series that is still doing good is Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon. Everything else is shit now.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.01.2013 03:41
    Whoever made this has some serious balls. I have fantasies too, but to broadcast it is another story.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.01.2013 22:58
    ENGLISH MUDDAFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.01.2013 09:50
    This thing reeks of KY and Hustler magazine.

    Now happen it that I have played these games, and know the characters. Is there any reason why you've reduced them to finger puppets so that you and Rosie Palm can get it on? Switch out the names; it wouldn't matter which ones you put in. Characterization need not apply. Better still, why YOU? If there was a rationale in there, I failed to notice. Taking three video game heroines and reducing them to behavior so bad they would embarrass a bar whore at closing time, makes this piece fetid and GAFF-worthy.

    Regardless. What the cardinal sin of this piece is is that you took what could have been a truly monumental fic and made it DEADLY DULL. The sex scenes read like a plumber's manual. Not to mention the implausibility of some of the acts. And it took a college English class to achieve this? *shakes head* Seriously, dude. YOU CAN DO BETTER.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.01.2013 21:04
    Dude, can I be in the next story? You fuck Princess Daisy in the ass while she sucks my nut sack.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.01.2013 21:11
    Dude, can I be in the next story? You fuck Princess Daisy in the ass while she sucks my nut sack.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.01.2013 21:12
    Dude, can I be in the next story? You fuck Princess Daisy in the ass while she sucks my nut sack.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.01.2013 14:51
    @Anonymous reader 2013-01-07 09:50:29

    Of course the scenes read like a plumber's manual. He put Mario stuff in it. lol.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.01.2013 22:56
    √↓↑â†u0090→¡¿!?@§¶†‡|¦—–®®©©™¥£€¢¢$¤<>+-×÷=±âˆu017e^ˇ˘˙¸˛˜′″µ°¹²³♭♪♪♪♪•♪♪…¬%‰¼¼¾¾⇒⇔⇔♂♂♀♀★☆☆▼★▼▼▲■◆◆â—u008f#&*ƒоцйлнхллллхучнй чнуцчехÑu017dÑu017dшшфйифхлÑu008fÑu008fуухншпмÑu008fуÑu008fмчотьыыъкччжжзёебннхиопÑu008dьечьйнуфхфполлDERPuvtym Ñ…ÑŒÑu008dУФЛУÐu009dХЙГЦЧРЖÐu017eМКÐu0090ИЪЪЬ/‘›)]{

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.01.2013 22:57
    lol the website don't read the signs below I made them °—°

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:09
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:13
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:14
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:14
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:15
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:15
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:15
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:15
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2013 23:16
    LOL!!! I can't stop laughing! XD

    It's funny because you made the story sound so serious by using characters from a child's video game. You're literally fucking up everyone's childhood in here. Its so sad, its funny. The comments even make this more hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.01.2013 18:13
    If you're going to watch Old Who, my suggestion is 100% for Tom Baker (the 4th Doctor).I drive my rmotmaoe batshit insane with my rambles on all things Doctor Who because that's how much I love the show, however watching Old Who (especially the old black and white 1st Doctor episodes) kind of made me want to claw my eyes out. I just love Baker 'cause he was my first Doctor and seeing a couple of his episodes is what got me to watch New Who in the first place.Ahh. beloved Zelda. I've only beaten 6 of them Link to the Past, Links Awakening, Ocarina of Time, Majoras Mask, Windwaker and Twilight Princess (I slept on a sidewalk in front of Target to get the Wii / Princess the day it came out 26 hours in line because stupid Target didn't release at midnight). Ocarina of Time will always be my favorite though, even if it doesn't hold up as well to newer games. ^_^And I'm so glad that my tormenting can now begin! A lot of my friends from college live in Alto ahem.. Pom Wonderful Presents the

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.01.2013 10:27
    Only error: Masahiro Sakurai, creator of Kirby, created Super Smash Bros. Miyamoto was a producer for it.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.01.2013 00:22
    Awesome story fuck the haters, keep this up!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.01.2013 14:51
    Fuck the haters this is a good story

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.01.2013 20:34
    Make a story where you tie up and rape all the female trainers in the Pokemon series. I'd love to see Misty, May, and Dawn get all of their holes flooded. They're also around 13-14 years old, which makes it hotter.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.01.2013 13:26
    Please make a sequal. This is one of the best nintendo related stories that I have ever read. It says to be continued... Make it happen.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.01.2013 16:13
    If you're going to watch Old Who, my suggestion is 100% for Tom Baker (the 4th Doctor).I drive my romotame batshit insane with my rambles on all things Doctor Who because that's how much I love the show, however watching Old Who (especially the old black and white 1st Doctor episodes) kind of made me want to claw my eyes out. I just love Baker 'cause he was my first Doctor and seeing a couple of his episodes is what got me to watch New Who in the first place.Ahh. beloved Zelda. I've only beaten 6 of them Link to the Past, Links Awakening, Ocarina of Time, Majoras Mask, Windwaker and Twilight Princess (I slept on a sidewalk in front of Target to get the Wii / Princess the day it came out 26 hours in line because stupid Target didn't release at midnight). Ocarina of Time will always be my favorite though, even if it doesn't hold up as well to newer games. ^_^And I'm so glad that my tormenting can now begin! A lot of my friends from college live in Alto ahem.. Pom Wonderful Presents the

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2013 14:36
    I actually thought this story would be lame, judging by the title, but DAMN, this was HOT. Your descriptions are very perverted and arousing. There are still some errors that need to be fixed, but I know you can't do that because XNXX doesn't allow editing after posts...........

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2013 20:33
    I don't think that your wife should have done that, with two guys, dressing you up like a women, and making you suck their cocks in front of her. Would if they both wanted to fill your mouth full of their cum? I thought that for sure you were going to say that your wife wanted you to lick her pussy clean, after her two boyfriends fucked her pussy and filled her full of cum. My wife wants me to lick her pussy after her boyfriend cums inside of her.

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2013 10:44
    Good story man. I always wanted to enter "The Simpsons and fuck Lisa so I can relate (:

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2013 21:08
    Tight story.

    My only complaint is that you didn't use any Zelda items. You should have ass rammed Princess Zelda with the Pegasus Boots. lol.

    Answer 0

  • DonkeyDick6
    29.01.2013 08:36
    Any comments and suggestions are welcome guys and gals don't be shy and yes I know my punctuation and grammar is crap

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2013 22:05
    Hey there its Zandwalf good story I think you should screw th haters nd keep on. Maki ng thses
    Ps you should try less errors other than that good job!


    Zandwalf

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  • anonymous+reader
    10.02.2013 18:40
    This was really good kinky c:

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  • anonymous+reader
    12.02.2013 00:53
    Favorite line in the entire story: It was without a doubt that we were going to hell; but in the Nintendo universe, that was most likely an area filled with Atari games. LOL'd my ASS off!!! Great story, great read, and I hope to see a sequel to this! :D

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.02.2013 01:56
    great story man next time though add a bit more story and less fning because otherwize it's not as good(im a writer) great use of gameing references love it
    .....next have a smash bros fight with mario link you and someone else that'll be cool

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.02.2013 18:02
    Action reuiqers knowledge, and now I can act!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.03.2013 07:04
    nice photo and vidio's

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.04.2013 16:22
    Part 2 pleeaaasssseeeee!!!!??

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  • anonymous+reader
    07.04.2013 23:03
    I have been in there too. Most of those guys don t want to just suck a dick , they want to suck Dicks. One guy in the middle of giving me a b j just stopped and started talking to me while he stroked my dick and told me that my dick was number seven he sucked so far that night ,wow ! He said all that cum in his belly gave him gas, after he swallowed it all down I had ,I got hard again thinking of it all and fucked his ass for a good ten minutes. He loved it

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  • anonymous+reader
    12.04.2013 15:05
    Lol @ Roy Rogers. Cuz someone who did that would be dumb enough to post it on a public, easily accessible website.

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  • Dotties2
    20.04.2013 23:35
    Cuckolded, very nice, Wife dom. dresses you up as a maid, cute, you should have at least two petti's under the skirt to add lift to the skirt with rumba panties, very sexy and above all, a nice penafore apron with the apron strings tied into a big bow at the back. : )

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.04.2013 03:42
    No Zelda from any of them in the series is brunette... Just so you are aware.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.05.2013 04:59
    Great story, just some small mistakes. Zelda is Hylian, not an elf. There has also never been a brunette Zelda.

    Another issue is, you pointed out they were all virgins at the beginning, yet peach says later on Misty and her fisted. If they had've, peachs' hymen would have broken.

    Fantastic story though! Part 2 any time soon?

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.06.2013 16:30
    This is a great story. Well written and thought out. Maybe a little less stuff dealing with shit lol. We need you to continue this for awhile. It is amazing and could be a amazing series. Part two please. ;-)

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.06.2013 16:37
    WTF Roy Rogers?!? That is sooo sick! Even if I do enjoy porn, that was just TOO FAR! xO

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.06.2013 06:52
    Long ass story I just kept scrolling till I can finish

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  • tigerlilyNdick
    10.07.2013 06:37
    Too Short , , , , BUT HOT!

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.08.2013 02:33
    holy fuck Roy Roggers"" you need some sick help you are so fucked up like foreeal get a damn life you fuckin perve what the hell r u thinking !? do u want people to think you are a fuckin phsyco !!!! well u r and ur goin to hell so have fun....how do you say it....burning....alive ! sick bastard !

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.08.2013 01:36
    16 and horny ;) 407-401-3548

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  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2013 05:43
    I love this story ! I'm eagerly awaiting for part three ! Stunning job

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  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2013 05:47
    thanks, a nice story and plot, please carry on with another part.

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  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2013 06:06
    oh my god those were the conditions to being kidnapped and f***** well then I would not you can kidnap any day ^·^

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2013 07:26
    Best story please do continue bt she has to escape

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2013 11:18
    Amazing


    Do something where he catches her trying to escape and punished her

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2013 12:33
    stupid and boring and just downright idiotic

    Answer 0

  • countrycadillac
    20.08.2013 14:31
    Can't wait for more of this well written, well thought out story. I belive I could see in the future a point where he willingly allows her to leave, which she does but she returns of her own doing because she finds she wants to be with only him. They live happily ever after .. Best of luck !! (countrycadillac)

    Answer 0

  • FarieSong
    20.08.2013 18:52
    I like this story. its well done. Maybe see her as his hostess depending on what business he wears the power suits for. is he legit or dirty businessman?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.08.2013 10:24
    Absolutely love this story!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.08.2013 13:28
    gud story but sud have had more sex more details he sudnt fuck any else or make her fuck othjer guys,thy sud be 2grther always fucking eachother

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.08.2013 10:52
    make there be more of actual rape. other than that...not bad.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.08.2013 11:39
    Don't listen to the negative comments I loved it and would loved to see more. Wherver you think the story should go is okay with me.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.08.2013 18:41
    that sucked. I admit, it gave me a 7 inch boner, but why would you write a fake story about rape and gangbang?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.08.2013 17:34
    1some_inexistent_file_with_long_name

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.08.2013 17:34
    ^(#$!@#$)(()))******

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.08.2013 17:34
    acunetix_wvs_invalid_filename

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.08.2013 17:34
    )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.08.2013 17:34
    À®À®À¯À®À®À¯À®À®À¯À®À®À¯À®À®À¯À®À®À¯À®À®À¯À®À®À¯windowsÀ¯win.ini

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.08.2013 17:34
    ................windowswin.ini

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.09.2013 11:43
    let her escape & finds her pliz

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.09.2013 17:17
    Please upload part 3!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.09.2013 17:50
    So hot. Especially the part where she তখন বà§u008dযাথা পà§u008dরায় নাই,রিকà§u008dসায় দà§u0081জনে ঠাসাঠাসি করে বসে বেশ আরাম পাচà§u008dছিলাম,কথার ফাকে ভাবিকে রাতà§u008dরের কথা মনে করিয়ে দিলাম,ভাবী মà§u0081চকি হাসি দিল,রিকà§u008dসায় দà§u0081জনে টিপাটিপি শà§u0081রà§u0081 করে দিলাম,ভাবী আমার পেনà§u008dটের চেইন খà§u0081লে আমার বাড়া কচলাতে লাগল। ডাকà§u008dটারের আসা যাওয়ার সময় দà§u0081জনের সেকà§u008dস লীলায় মেতে উঠলাম, কিনà§u008dতà§u0081 তেমন মজা পেলাম না।আমি যে থানায় চাকরী করি সেকানে মনà§u008dতà§u008dর দিয়ে যে ক

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    12.09.2013 20:57
    This is one of the best stories i've ever read. Please continue

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.09.2013 07:25
    e1Agze Im grateful for the article post. Keep writing.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.09.2013 01:09
    where is part 3!!???

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.09.2013 09:09
    VutUx1 Major thankies for the blog.Thanks Again. Awesome.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.09.2013 12:36
    Been waiting for part 3. Please :)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.09.2013 22:15
    please we need part 3

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.10.2013 10:19
    Hey Roy Rogers guy. Ever hear of FICTION ???

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.10.2013 16:11
    It missed the part when the boy was doing his mom the men was doing the boys ass

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.10.2013 06:45
    KK9M6J I value the blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    04.11.2013 01:33
    Mmmm... this story is so good; where oh where is the next part? Please post it soon - we're left hanging here.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.11.2013 20:41
    Plzzzz make part 3 it's so good

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.11.2013 23:08
    Qsuzb7 Really informative blog post.Really thank you! Awesome.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.11.2013 00:16
    wow more please. give her a few clothes

    Answer 0

  • rubytuedsay
    20.11.2013 02:18
    wow where do you get your ideas from? fuck me that was amazing, im soo wet right now

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.11.2013 03:40
    Please update longer chapters. I'm dying with anticipation here. Anyway, I love your work. xoxo

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.12.2013 22:33
    Is there ever gonna be a part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.12.2013 11:40
    Such a awesome story I enjoy reading!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.12.2013 09:35
    I really enjoyed this.

    Answer 0

  • black-cheetah
    01.01.2014 03:13
    Keep going! And apparently my comment is too short .......

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.01.2014 05:27
    Love it my dick is major hard

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.01.2014 01:52
    Really enjoyed this. Hurry were all Waiting on Part 3! :D

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.01.2014 23:36
    PLEASE UPDATE THIS! I love it so much! I'm really hoping Nicolae redeems himself somehow so they can be together and shit without being totally fucked up.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.01.2014 18:27
    Waste of time and cyberspace.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.01.2014 12:31
    I need part 3, please write part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.01.2014 07:38
    Not the worst story out there. I like how it leaves out major cliches. However, I would have prefered it to be a bit more realistic, in the sense of conversations and being canon to the actual series more. Maybe have it so Peach speaks in sounds, instead of actual words. I would have found that funny. Also, it is unlikelythat Samus would be able to get pregnant, as very muscular woman cannot get pregnant. I am just nitpicking at this point, and it was a fairly good story. Also, to all you people who said this is for geeks, yes, it is, thats why its a fucking NINTENDO fanfict. What did you expect?
    -Gim95

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  • Anonymous+reader
    09.01.2014 02:05
    Lily escaping would be a nice twist. Make Nikolae yearn for her ;)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.01.2014 17:28
    سكسي أجنبي

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.01.2014 07:10
    I agree lily should escape or make nick jelous and also put more romance

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.01.2014 07:11
    Update this already its kiling me

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.01.2014 07:15
    It would be nice if nick and lily go out on dates or something to make him remember lily

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.01.2014 07:16
    We want More romance!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.01.2014 03:48
    Bdsm and toys are a must in part three if she is going to be his sex slave

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.01.2014 08:10
    you gotta decide - either make him into an abusive a#hole who only uses her, or into a creepy possessive but caring guy who has feelings for her, just with a weird way of showing it.....heck, with his mysterious, foreign background he could be considdering them married without her realising it. the 'you are MINE' statement could be taken either way, though i´d prefer the later.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.01.2014 20:48
    a threesome rape would be nice

    Answer 0

  • darthel0101
    22.01.2014 13:41
    The story is too short and the descriptions are a little confusing at points.
    The writing, however, shows promise.

    One downside is that the tags are not correctly used - this definitely should have had at least 'gay' in the tags.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.01.2014 03:07
    On part four he she should fall for him then he should let her go than she come back.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.02.2014 04:14
    please, part 3!!!! This is one of the best on this site!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.02.2014 16:50
    Nigeria galz cal me 4 sex,07067349255

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.02.2014 23:34
    Please let there b a part 3 omg I'm speechless

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.02.2014 11:28
    This is one of the hottest stories I've ever read. You should have her get pregnant, and she shouldn't tell him until he sees her baby bump, and he should freak out because he wasn't supposed to be able to have children. All the while, he's falling in love with her while still being her dom.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.02.2014 11:46
    More !! Write more !! Best story ever !!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.02.2014 16:58
    1some_inexistent_file_with_long_name%00.jpg

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.02.2014 16:58
    ^(#$!@#$)(()))******

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.02.2014 16:58

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.02.2014 16:58

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.02.2014 16:58
    acunetix_wvs_invalid_filename

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.02.2014 16:58
    ................windowswin.ini

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.02.2014 12:53
    MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.02.2014 22:56
    Moreee moreeeee moreeeeeeeeeee a wjole lot more keep them coming

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.02.2014 03:16
    Omg I have been waiting for an update for a while!!!plzzzzzzzzz update

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.02.2014 14:08
    Please update I've been waiting for the next chapter for so long

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.02.2014 03:17
    Wow great story cant wait for part 2.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.02.2014 15:52
    Fuck this story is hot I wish I was Lily please continue and soon

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.02.2014 21:54
    X X.boat.a.commuter

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.02.2014 21:54
    X X.boat.a.commuter

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.02.2014 18:10
    An update please. This is so hot.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.02.2014 18:55
    waiting for the update

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.03.2014 00:59
    none mother fucker ahhh it is the worst joke eveeeeerrrrr

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.03.2014 07:16
    So she was upset bcuz her daughter was fuckin a black man! Racist assholes!!!

    Answer 0

  • Cybrgigolo
    04.03.2014 07:39
    Quite enjoying the series so far Angel. Nice to see the journalism paying off. Good to be able to read through a story with spelling and grammar correct. Spacing is good - so many stories on here would be good reads but are just too hard to follow from simple mistakes. Also like where the story is going - keep up the good work. Keep this up and may be inspired to start writing again as well.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.03.2014 08:00
    She founds her way out and he didnt know until he came back and he tried looking for her and 9 monthes has hes baby and she thought it would be ok to go to town and he was there and veryyyy pissed

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.03.2014 07:58
    Would love to see part 3 soon.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.03.2014 20:19
    dWJjl5 Thank you for your blog article.Much thanks again. Awesome.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.03.2014 00:32
    Can you please do a part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.03.2014 06:10
    Part 3! Part 3! Part 3!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.04.2014 16:28
    FtDAVB I am so grateful for your article post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    05.04.2014 02:04
    I have been waiting for part 3, and every time I come on this website I always look to see if you posted part 3 -.-

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.04.2014 04:32
    I don't want her to get pregnant but she should find a way to escape and he doesn't find out till he gets home

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.04.2014 09:10
    i think everyone wants part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.04.2014 01:01
    Omg make a part three. I love this story. It has hot sex but the story line is really good. I agree she should find a way to escape and have him find out until he gets home. Twist and turns baby!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.04.2014 07:11
    You're quite a talented writer. Def looking forward to part 3. If she escapes, perhaps he could run into her, accidentally at a restaurant or something.. he's on a date, she misses him desperately but can't let go of her stubborn pride- just when she decides to go to him, he casually dismisses her..

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  • Anonymous+reader
    25.04.2014 07:26
    Or she's on a date, now that she's tuned into her sexual desires..he runs into her and calmly orders her to come with him. She's found no men since him as sensual and exciting and is secretly delighted to oblige.. but she has to quickly decide whether to leave her baby protected w the sitter or risk his reaction and tell him the truth..

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.04.2014 08:24
    Or she's on a date, now that she's tuned into her sexual desires..he runs into her and calmly orders her to come with him. She's found no men since him as sensual and exciting and is secretly delighted to oblige.. but she has to quickly decide whether to leave her baby protected w the sitter or risk his reaction and tell him the truth..

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.04.2014 20:21
    I thought she might get a spankingbent over that couch Then anouther good Fuck

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.05.2014 08:58
    Amazing. Fucking AMAZING. Keep writing more chapters!!

    Answer 0

  • Tankgirl
    07.05.2014 18:18
    You have done it again. By golly you have done it again. Woo!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.05.2014 20:55
    You have done it again. By golly you have done it again. Woo!!!

    Answer 0

  • Mario+Caliente
    13.05.2014 05:14
    I love descriptions written by women of what it feels like giving blow jobs and getting fucked. You do a wonderful job of it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.05.2014 00:45
    I think she should try to get away again and as a punishment
    He forces her to do anal which she won't like causing her to scream alot

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.05.2014 11:35
    This story is making me very hard and need a release

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.05.2014 19:17
    Best story ever! Loved the two chapters. Well written and very hot! Please, more chapters. I'm definitely a fan. :)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.05.2014 05:37
    Amazing, part three? :)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.05.2014 06:21
    Make her struggle more, she's being kept and used as a sextoy and can't leave. I didn't like her finger herself while giving him a blowjob. Its weird. Its only been the second day

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.05.2014 06:21
    Great story line overall though!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.05.2014 06:24
    Don't make her get pregnant and have a child, that will ruin the series. That shouldn't be done until the very end (if u need to). Let nikolae have his fun. Make part 3 please why do you take so long :((

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.05.2014 06:28
    Do a scene with a 3some. One of his business friends. That will be so hot. At one point show that her and the business friend keep fucking while nikolae has to step out. When he comes back he sees them and gets jealous

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.06.2014 11:58
    Don't let them have a threesome, she is exclusively his. If rnjoy if he spanked her or if they practiced some orgasm control. Or, you could just go on the path you had chosen, it's a good story.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.06.2014 17:53
    Mske her everything except threesome or groupp sex as she only his

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.06.2014 08:13
    This is like Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele in a parallel universe where they have different names but still are the same passionate, confusing

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.06.2014 08:14
    Crazy people*

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.06.2014 03:24
    Please morreee!! But no groups. She's his.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.06.2014 04:25
    RAPE IS RAPE, whether it is three punks or a millionaire alone,

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.06.2014 00:30
    Not bad, but needs paragraphs and some editing. How about a sequel where she takes him with no condom and no birth control?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.06.2014 05:23
    I don't want her pregnant or having another guy fuck her but make her run away and have him find her like a bit later

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.06.2014 09:10
    I want her to get pregnant and stay there. Don't let this end. Pleaseee

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.06.2014 13:44
    I like this story .. I can picture the situation in my head and it's sooo hot and rmntic ..

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.06.2014 16:10
    She able to get away from him when he was asleep then when he wake up he try to find her evryway. She move to smwhre far away. He go to the town whre she staying and saw her chatting and laughing with anther guy and he hate it. He just grab her hand and force her to fllow him back to his place and she is his again and he really not gonna be easy on her this time.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.06.2014 04:15
    MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.06.2014 08:25
    Anal Sex , LOTS AND LOTS AND ORAL... EVERYTHING.. PART THREE.. UGH SO FUCKING HORNY

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.06.2014 05:07
    Get her pregnant!!!! Part 3 please!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.06.2014 09:12
    Get her pregnant!!!! Part 3 please!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.06.2014 20:49
    Moreeeeeeee!! Knock her up with his hot, tall, sexy baby in part 3!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.06.2014 08:47
    Best story I have read, seriously

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.06.2014 20:56
    ples do part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.06.2014 08:31
    This story leaves me wanting more and mor. I can't wait for part 3. The anticipation is killing me. I just love this story. I really want this to happen to me.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.06.2014 10:09
    Oh m gosh this was an amazing story u r such an amazing and detailed writer!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.07.2014 00:22
    Make something she had to come back to his house every now and then...

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    05.07.2014 06:05
    Gets me so wet

    Answer 0

  • lolaheiress
    06.07.2014 17:09
    Is there going to be a third part?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.07.2014 23:29
    You should make it where he lets her leave but her sexual desires make her come running back for more!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.07.2014 21:23
    U can just make it like they fall in love and she just live with him instead of her being his sex slave but like his lover

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.07.2014 23:09
    So wet. Guys. My ki k is Queen Leigh

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.07.2014 23:49
    So wet. Guys. My ki k is Queen Leigh

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.07.2014 00:10
    I would love if she found out one day that she was pregnant, and tried to hide it from him, but after a couple months he notices and asks why she didn't tell him sooner.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.07.2014 20:38
    I love this story It makes me so horny and wet

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.07.2014 03:04
    Omfg, this story is awesome. I love it. The first chapter even made me cum! It was amazing! Keep going, you're doing great. :)
    Maybe have him make her fuck with a dog? Just a thought. Or he could have "friends" over and have a gang bang/gang rape. That would be wonderful.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.07.2014 23:14
    freaking hot(;

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.07.2014 08:58
    CONTINUE!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.07.2014 09:00
    I think u should get her pregnant!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.07.2014 05:44
    This is totally my fantasy.. I'm a girl too

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.07.2014 09:18
    I think u should get her pregnant!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.07.2014 09:18
    I think u should get her pregnant!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.07.2014 21:05
    I need part 3 like right now. This story is amazing and I come back every night and morning to check to see if you added a new story. Please hurry up! Im addicted.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.07.2014 23:35
    he should wanna marry her

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.07.2014 22:50
    It is nearly a year since you wrote this so what is the use of telling you what to write about...

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.07.2014 22:49
    Very nice.

    Answer 0

  • Norton+X
    23.07.2014 21:36
    Fantastic story that combines many exciting themes into one incredibly hot tapestry of lust and tragedy. Pure entertainment and I definitely enjoyed it a lot. Awesome sex storytelling. This is one of my favorite sex stories of all time. Bravo, somethingf1234.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.07.2014 23:03
    Thanks a bunch! I'm happy you liked it so much.

    Answer 0

  • jenna-xxx
    24.07.2014 01:00
    this a horrible story for jessie but couldnt help gettin wet on the sexxy parts colin an mother mmmmmm she got pregnant! wow imagine getting pregnant by sons bully lol gud story!!

    Answer 0

  • somethingf1234
    24.07.2014 01:21
    Thanks Jenna, I'm glad you liked the sexy bits even if the other parts were maybe too harsh.

    Answer 0

  • DarkObssessions
    24.07.2014 02:10
    Great story!!! Keep them coming

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.07.2014 07:59
    this is a story from literotica

    Answer 0

  • somethingf1234
    24.07.2014 14:13
    Yes it is, I uploaded it to lit erotica, if you look at the name of the lit uploader it is the same as mine. It's also uploaded at hentai-foundry under the same name. Thank you for reading

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.07.2014 22:41
    Plz make more AT LEAST to part 3

    Answer 0

  • Redbeard1031
    24.07.2014 23:01
    I enjoyed this story when it was first submitted. I included it as one of my favs then and it still ranks right up there now. Great job somethingf1234. I will look forward to more stories from you in the future.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.07.2014 03:50
    Harsh for the poor sod, but well written all the same. If you write a story with more positive themes, I'd be a bit more enthused about your writing :) G

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.07.2014 13:47
    Excellent read! 4 3/4 erect penises out of five!

    Answer 0

  • Thorn69
    25.07.2014 14:15
    Excellent read! 4 3/4 erect penises out of five!

    Answer 0

  • somethingf1234
    25.07.2014 14:50
    Thanks for all the comments guy I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.07.2014 23:36
    I can't wait for the third one!!! You are a great writer an this is the best story I've read on here.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.07.2014 23:51
    I love your story! its really really good! I cant wait for part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.08.2014 01:27
    You're stories are amazing!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.08.2014 03:35
    I need more I can't wait for part 3 great story and love your writing keep up the good work.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.08.2014 19:15
    the story is great.....with the test of will it keep you on edge..u are a great writer

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.08.2014 00:59
    Ugh you're torturing me by not writing the third part!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.08.2014 01:00
    I want my first time to be like this

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.08.2014 14:18
    Well written. I'd love to see some of the workings of her mind as she realizes her place. It's expressed in the action very well, and I think that some of the confusion and mental submission would complement it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.08.2014 22:18
    You are so good! I'm really horny now! XXX 16 year old girl

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.08.2014 22:34
    You are so good! I'm really horny now! XXX 16 year old girl

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.08.2014 03:27
    Omg this is the best /.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.08.2014 08:06
    Where's the next chapter

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.08.2014 23:35
    Fuck made me horny

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.08.2014 13:08
    Please continue! I NEED IT! ;)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.08.2014 16:39
    so fucking good,more!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.08.2014 03:24
    Make her preggo!!! Awesome I almost ran 2 my husband after and begged for him to fuck me!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.08.2014 09:39
    Part 3 pleassseeee lol

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.08.2014 07:37
    i looooovveeddd ittt!!!! part 3 pleeeeeaaasseee!!!!

    Answer 0

  • livthedream
    21.08.2014 21:23
    Please make some first time anal sex and threesome bisexual with the stranger friends I am waiting for part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.08.2014 12:12
    Please do a part 3!!!!! I have read each of the stranger like 5 times already!!! I need a third one!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.08.2014 08:50
    Love it!!!😩ðŸ‘u008f

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.08.2014 02:48
    This is amazing I love it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.08.2014 10:20
    I want anal and her fighting more I want her being double penetrated I want her to be used maybe even tied up and toys used on her I want him making her squirt I want the rape it all I wish I was her in every way I would love to be a sex slave and have everything.

    Answer 0

  • handparty
    29.08.2014 20:29
    Good story, but I'm pretty sure that I'd murder the shit out of Colin.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.08.2014 21:54
    I want her to be tied up as he fucks her herder and harder and I want his cock and 3 or more other rubber cocks slid in to her anal and pussy and I was her pregnant, you could do like a 9 months later part and I want her to be in pain and humiliation please put this stuff in I can't wait for part 3 I'm fingering my self right now

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.09.2014 05:09
    I want to see when she gets pregnant by him and he punishes her for it. I want to see her tied up and fucked against her will.

    PLEASE MAKE HER PREGGOS!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.09.2014 05:19
    Please make a part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.09.2014 23:32
    Angel, I've read your stories a few times and they never fail tomake me dripping wet and horny, I really hope you find the time to continue, as your work is flawless, just the right balance between story and sex, as a reader you make us scared and wanting in equal measure. I hope everything is ok with you, and we hope you havent deserted us for a different site as all of the great ones do. Hope you update soon we're hanging on with dripping pussies , pre cum coated cocks and baited breath. Thanks Luvsalik xx

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.09.2014 01:50
    Seriously...little editing, little more detail, it costs $5 for a cover, an amazon and kdp account...you'll be in business. I know a good erotic novel cover artist :) Think about it!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.09.2014 20:02
    Chapter 3 please!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.09.2014 20:04
    Please make her pregnant in part 3
    Make her pregnant

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.09.2014 07:53
    If you read Fifty Shades of Grey (which I know you did) you'll see it's just like your book... try not making it too alike

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.09.2014 02:35
    Amazing! Please dont have her get pregnant though.. Maybe have her escape and he has to recapture her and deal with her? Just thought it would make it more interesting, but please get part three done soon!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.09.2014 11:07
    Please don't make her pregnant! Quite impressive the story is but it's got the whole Fifty Shades thing going on. A twist would help. Stockholm Syndrome anybody?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.09.2014 05:56
    That was so good. You should get it to where she gets pregnant and she chooses to stay but give it a little twist or something like that very good. Very vivid and just wow. It reminds me of a experience that I have had wow.

    Answer 0

  • mathew+elizabeth
    01.10.2014 03:39
    The greatest Mother-NTR-Cuckold story I have ever read. Much better than my story 'Netorare Mama - My Parents Betrayal 1-3'. While I relied on flashbacks to keep the reader and myself interested. The fluent linier pacing of your story through the limited perspective of the main character and the description of his emotions of helpless arousal was the greatest payoff I've ever read in erotica.

    Half the people that read these stories miss the point entirely. In these type of stories the main character is 'suppose' to lose. Or at the very least have a bitter-sweet ending where he accepts he has no control. For masochist readers like me, this is heaven.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.10.2014 15:14
    Great story. Really nice job, you have a lot of talent. Is it possible for you to develop a romance (feelings) here? Just a suggestion.

    Keep up the great work!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.10.2014 22:12
    I would luv to have that to happen to me i am hard thinking about it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.10.2014 01:31
    Maybe you could her her could him sir not all the time just like when he questions her like when he says You like this dont you or yes what something along those lines. Anyway plz hurry on part 3 im not a patient person sorry but hurry

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.10.2014 01:27
    Very good I hate the story line but it is written very well knowing me and my ways I would have killed Colin and jessies mother after the 3 chapter and well for jessie well he wouldn't be alive to see there tears of pain and death In there eyes before the blood would flow across the room and over my hands thanks again mate

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.10.2014 03:07
    I want more

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.10.2014 00:48
    I'm loving it more please I really want to see what twists you put in it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.10.2014 01:51
    I need part 3. I'm dying for it. Reading your stories makes me so wet. Good Job

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.10.2014 21:42
    Have him follow through and properly punnish her! Spanking, flogging, paddling, maybe takes away her last few freedoms and leaves her locked up while he's out, tied up and imobilized as vibrators work furiously in her cunt and asshole.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.10.2014 05:31
    Have him fuck her in the ass

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.10.2014 19:08
    Not my kind of kink, but I think it's very professionaly writen and thought out.. everything is in order ..
    You should be in the novel writting for pay !

    Answer 0

  • Master%26amp%3B%23039%3Bs_Kitten
    26.10.2014 20:51
    pls write more. I really like this story line:)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.10.2014 01:18
    Can you post your story on wattpad plzzz. Love this!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.11.2014 19:47
    Very nice

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.11.2014 16:16
    PLEASE HURRY UP AND DO A PART THREE

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.11.2014 15:40
    Oh man exactly my thoughts

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.11.2014 16:03
    Well, its a wonderful story. But I must say, there's a suspicious amount of similarities and exact-ness from fifty shades of gray.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.11.2014 18:47
    PLEASE PART 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.11.2014 18:47
    PLEASE MAKE HER PREGNANT

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.11.2014 07:37
    So so good when I read this I kinda want that to happen tovme this story is the best I have ever hear and I love it oh and by the way I'm a woman.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.11.2014 15:57
    This was one of the sexiest stories i've read, I am so wet right now! I am a girl and if you want to talk, my profile name on Facebook is Stacey Williams and the picture is a cat.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.11.2014 18:23
    Please write part 3 I love your stories

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.11.2014 03:26
    Part 3 defiantly! Not really into forceful rape because I'm more of a softcore person but this story is awesome! Criticism: please make these stories long the suspense is making me wet literally. Other than that awesome job! Maybe you could add a chapter about ( a month later) he gets so confirtable with her that he accidentally leaves the back door in the kitchen open. She takes this time to escape but he finds her and takes her back ( just an idea use and change it as you like or dont use it I really don't care as long as you write more chapters!)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.11.2014 03:27
    Part 3 defiantly! Not really into forceful rape because I'm more of a softcore person but this story is awesome! Criticism: please make these stories long the suspense is making me wet literally. Other than that awesome job! Maybe you could add a chapter about ( a month later) he gets so confirtable with her that he accidentally leaves the back door in the kitchen open. She takes this time to escape but he finds her and takes her back ( just an idea use and change it as you like or dont use it I really don't care as long as you write more chapters!)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.11.2014 01:35
    I love these stories you need to post a nother soon or I will go crazy!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.12.2014 02:33
    Please write part three!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.12.2014 06:22
    WRITE A PART THREE

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.12.2014 18:37
    Just to throw out an idea but anal

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.12.2014 01:30
    Please post a part 3! Excellent story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.12.2014 05:21
    When the fuck are you gonna write part 3?
    All your readers are tired of waiting...

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.12.2014 07:27
    Very good. Can't wait for part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.12.2014 18:30
    write more.. make some book, you are good author...

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.12.2014 04:30
    I get on every once in a while and cone here but there still isnt an update

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.12.2014 04:39
    Ok dont like how some ppl want the full on rape maybe a little spanking but not enough enough u dont really want her pregnant tho and no sharing please she only belongs to him maybe she can escape only for him to get her back tho

    Answer 0

  • love__bug
    22.12.2014 21:17
    Loved this story!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.12.2014 11:57
    i must say we have the same fantasy :)
    great.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.12.2014 07:31
    Make him bring in another woman and ignore her to get her jealous

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.12.2014 09:15
    Have her escape and him get her back before she could tell anyone. Then have him take her into one of the locked room.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.12.2014 03:35
    Please make a part 3!! And I agree that some spanking would be nice

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    05.01.2015 23:41
    Amazing stories, reminds me of 50 shades slightly, can't wait to read more

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.01.2015 00:55
    I would literally cut his dick off. THis story just pissed me off having been bullied. I tower over everyone now but I used 2 be bullied.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.01.2015 15:48
    50 shades all the way I loved it cant wait.from part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.01.2015 11:16
    Loved the story well done

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.01.2015 20:13
    Mattc I love your stories u and aky

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.01.2015 04:45
    It's a rip off of fifty shades of grey

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.01.2015 07:13
    maybe he can make her do role plays and then fuck her

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.01.2015 23:17
    more please!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.02.2015 20:31
    Amazing..write part 3 plz...quick.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.02.2015 14:47
    The kids with balls sounds like bakugan

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.02.2015 11:11
    So good please write more I'm dying to read part 3!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.02.2015 02:43
    Happy Valentine's Day. When can we read part three? Very soon I hope.:-)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.02.2015 05:39
    More please!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.02.2015 21:37
    Please add more chapters

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.02.2015 13:08
    Any chance of any new stories like this one in the future?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.02.2015 10:26
    Ugh. Thanx to your reluctance, I'll have to go read 50 shades of schmuck now, just to scratch the itch in my brain. And I'm a proud person.
    Anyway, much as it vexes me, here goes: I hope you make a lot of money writing for the big companies and, depending on your sex (which is dubious), alluring aw-driven women/boys flock round you until you hand-pick yourself one or more. You most probably write with what I call a muse in your nuggin (strangely, these are the writers who never finish their stories), and although it is a bit of a patriarch, it's still special. If it's only you in there, I apologize, but not for the patriarch-bit.
    Even though you made me want to go say sorry to all the wanna-be rapists I thrashed off of me and then broke.
    Evebroughtanaxthistime
    P.s.: You still suck

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.03.2015 19:20
    I love this story.I want to fuck already.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.03.2015 04:16
    Excellent writing. Good grammar. Hot, easy to picture scenes. How does Lily get out or past this situation? Will she ever leave? Does she submit fully? Can't wait for the next submission.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.03.2015 05:27
    Excellent writing and very easy to picture in your head. I hope to read part three soon.

    Answer 0

  • ToughCompetition
    10.03.2015 06:49
    Please leave a comment :-)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.03.2015 20:51
    plz write the p3 of the story asap plzz

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.03.2015 07:21
    Loved it hurry up and write a third!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.03.2015 10:11
    As a human right worker l feel much shame of u. Being a woman how can anyone write such kindda task! ! You sluty naughty stupid bitch.......fuck on you. Go to hell Satan wanna fuck u hard witch. .....
    If you get any answer mail me my xvideos profile is saintmanfucker. Am saint but lov to fuck bitchy chunnies with my hard doodle.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.03.2015 04:56
    You have to make a part 3 I really love this story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.04.2015 20:45
    Very nice story but he should keep the watch a secret and hump lots of girls

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.04.2015 04:58
    Hey, part 3 right now

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.04.2015 05:16
    part3 .part 3.. part 3!!!! XD

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.04.2015 09:26
    Fuck cant wait for ch. 3 wooop

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.04.2015 16:49
    Technically there always has got be a easy point of escape for occupants fof the building, so this story is inaccurate. Good though. Otherwise burn in hell bitch. Women have rights. But on a another note, great story, cant wait for part three

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.04.2015 18:43
    Part Three please even if it is unfinished.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.04.2015 18:46
    Fuck Stop leaving me in suspense can she escape to or does she like it there.... TELL MEH!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.04.2015 21:47
    WHERE IS THE DAMN PART THREE!!!!!!!!! AAARRGH WHERE IS IT

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.04.2015 17:08
    seriously, please port a part three...

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.04.2015 03:23
    Love this! I have been waiting for part 3 I hope it comes soon!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.05.2015 02:15
    Part 3 please this series is awesome

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.05.2015 11:54
    OMG WHERE IS THE PART THREE MAKE IT ALREADY

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.05.2015 11:12
    follow up to the previous ...
    When my wife started screaming when I PULLED her sister into our bedroom, got her naked in bed next to her and started fucking her,
    I gave her the options of shutting the fuck up and joining us, trading bedrooms with her sister or moving out and going back home to her family's shit hole. She grumbled, shut up and eventually tried to compete with her sister. She didn't have a shot. Her sister is a genuinely great fuck with natural cunt muscle control. We're a sexual MATCH. I fuck her brains out and she fucks my one brain out. (mine's bigger)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.05.2015 20:23
    Love both parts looking forward to more.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.05.2015 13:27
    Suck the semen out,slave,out of my cocks pee hole that is.I meet a new slave and assrape her if she fails to excite me orally.Then I pull out of the ass and fuck the throat,back and forth ass to mouth mouth to butthole.I never lnow which orfice I will make my deposit.Sometimes I spunk in their face ,then make the slut wear me in public so I can humiliate and verbally abuse them.Somei have lick my asshole clean while ijetk a load for their best friend or auntie to eat.Women love how I treat them like expendable cum catchers.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.05.2015 05:46
    I love this story please bring out part 3 soon

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.05.2015 19:27
    She wrote Part 1 an year and half ago part 2. So I guess her part 3 would probably come by October 2016. I guess you guys have to wait longer :( sorry guys. Btw that's just my estimation. Idk she may post tomorrow.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2015 23:06
    VERY HOT! Looking forward to them both FINALLY professing their love.....and maybe having Abbie and Sophie join in!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.06.2015 05:20
    If you're gonna have Abbie and Sophie join in, it should be mutual. It's a bit unfair that the girls get to play with each other but the guy only gets to play with one girl!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.06.2015 20:22
    I just finished all three stories and I give you Five Stars. This was the most enjoyable story I have read, also well written. Please continue. Thank you !!! (countrycadillac)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.06.2015 17:33
    Great story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.06.2015 05:33
    Dude uve got a nice story going! Don't take ages to post the next chapter

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.06.2015 14:47
    Amazing writing, keep it up

    Answer 0

  • Bigdaddy13
    13.06.2015 16:48
    This was absolutely GREAT!

    It will take him a little more time until she finally submit to him.

    And if he dotes on her at the same time then maybe she'll fall in love with him as well = Stockholm sybndrome.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.06.2015 18:50
    i love it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.06.2015 07:19
    U kidding me??? Plzz give part 3 ASAP!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.06.2015 21:03
    Apparently the author's promise of a Part 3 was bullshit. It's been two years since Part 2 and the promise.

    Probably stuck on top dead center and doesn't know where to go with the story.

    "Written by women" indeed. Who gives a big rats' ass who writes a story as long as it's good? You dumb cunt.... You're just trying to capitalize on your pussy... just like common street whores do. Write the fucking story and post it. Drop that "I'm just a dumb cunt, so have mercy on me when you cast your vote." shit. Next thing you know, the assholes running this site will have a heading so the faggots can do the same thing.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.06.2015 08:06
    Besides a few spelling mistakes (understandable considering the length and all) this story felt more realistic than most. People acting as they actually would as described by their character. Throw in a proof read before you post it and you got yourself an exceptional story with no chance at keyboard warrior complains

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.06.2015 14:46
    Finally a story that seems realistic, great job!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.06.2015 03:41
    awesome story. plz write the part 3 for all of us. thanks

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.06.2015 02:29
    i loved your writting please continue. do I have to join to make a story?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.07.2015 23:13
    Hellooooo! Oi, Angel! Say hi to His Invisibleness for me, if you see him. Oops, sorry, 'register' him. Okay, bad form, cause maybe you are really dead, which would be bad, cause then we'll never get THE REST OF THE STORY! Do a Satan for us - just wait till the lot of them start wrestling again (so gay), and simply jump. Satan's aparantly doing spectacularly, not even a limp, so you'll be fine. Just remember, we've got airoplanes now. You know, splat? Anyway, you had better come down and finish this, cause it seems like some of us are loosing it completely and there's only so much schedule 6 medication to go around. You don't want to be the cause of world war (not quite sure which number with all the new entries) announcing itself with a "I told you so" sneer.
    Evebroughtanaxthistime

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.07.2015 03:52
    proofread it and this story would be the best ever. (And im a pervert and I read alot of these stories so I should know). But other than that the realism and all makes it a great story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.07.2015 08:12
    Can y'all guys or girls be patient. She said there will be a chapter 3. And she busy, she has a life not like most of y'all.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.07.2015 09:44
    Maybe she forgot about chapter 3

    Answer 0

  • Insig+Time
    04.08.2015 11:15
    That was F'n hott. I've been in a situation similar where the thought of no... went out the window!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.08.2015 22:33
    Yes, more (panting) I need more!!

    Super steamy, I love your fantasies ;)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.08.2015 02:55
    Please I beg of you, can you write chapter 3?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.08.2015 05:25
    there was a two year gap in between stories so even though it might take a while she will get chapter 3 done

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.08.2015 07:14
    If it took her two years to post the second story then how long will it take to post the third one damn

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.08.2015 08:16
    i should write a chapter three ;) hmmm

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.09.2015 00:59
    This is ugly and dumb you stupid

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.10.2015 22:31
    POST he's sounds so hot

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.10.2015 22:50
    This was awesome can't wait for part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.10.2015 17:01
    pretty lame actually. by 18, most young women have already blossomed and are no longer 'budding'. and show us your 'weiner'.......seriously? no freaking way this is a true story and not really even very good fiction. Looking at the rating, I'm obviously not the only one who thinks that way

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.10.2015 17:28
    This was great and as good as it sounds, I can see it coming to a bad ending though. Ms. Johnson will find someone else since you are too busy for her and the girls will get pissy because each one will think you like banging one the others more than herself. Hopefully the wife won't find out or you may be living on the boat alone with no pussy at all. ;-)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.10.2015 19:08
    Not well written. Wrong words used "once and a while" instead of "once in a while", nor was it proof read for spelling errors before posting, or not enough.

    Making the story longer with more detail would also go a long way to improving your ratings. You gave very little description of the girls. I would have left out their ages at the end. You say they are 18-19, but wrote the story as if they were 13-14. I would just leave the ages unsaid.

    I don't remember any description of the setting at all either. Are they still in the family room or some other room? Are they on a couch? On the floor? What color is the couch or carpet? You don't need to give a complete description of the room, but give some details. It will make the story more realistic and better.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.10.2015 20:04
    This isn't even your story I've read it on this site before months ago

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.10.2015 00:02
    In one line you say you have a pretty big 7 and 1/2 inch cock and a paragraph or two later it's not that big about 6 inches. Very inconsistent.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.10.2015 16:34
    This needs better proof-reading and editing. Learn the difference between "by" and "bye".

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.10.2015 14:11
    Lots of people are going to bite ur head off if u don't a chapter 3 including me everyone absolutely loves ur writing u can't keep making us wait forever, get ur extremely talented writing butt into gear and post that damn chapter 3

    Answer 0

  • PO469
    11.10.2015 02:55
    You are right about reading it before. I had to correct it to meet the new website rule so it went back to the top.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.10.2015 06:00
    Plsssssss write a part 3 this is awesome

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.10.2015 06:01
    i want a nikolai in my life

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.10.2015 06:02
    Plsssssss write a part 3 this is awesome

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.10.2015 21:07
    probably the dumbest shit I ever read

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.10.2015 13:47
    A few little errors but I enjoyed it. Do some more proofing.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.10.2015 05:02
    You absolutely have to write part 3!!!! Please!!!!!! Sex Angel!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.10.2015 10:48
    pls hurry and make a part 3!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.10.2015 02:37
    part 3 please!!!!1

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.10.2015 09:57
    write part 3 now

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.11.2015 08:46
    pls tell us wen youll write part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.11.2015 07:12
    OMG I get more and more wet when he fucks her. That's when I have to get my cucumber and ram it into my pussy. I love rough sex. I have always been interested in getting raped. actually a fantasy of mine. I want a man to rape the hell out of me. And not just with his cock. I want him to use cucumbers and sex toys on me. Also I love to have a cock in my ass and pussy and mouth. I am so goddamn horny right now I wish I had a cock in my mouth and in my ass and the cucumber rammed into my pussy.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.11.2015 13:10
    Part three PLEASE!!!!! I'm so tempted to write a personal part three just to read for myself but it won't be nearly as good!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.11.2015 05:29
    That was amazing omfg

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.11.2015 15:24
    When is the part where barry allen comes in?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.11.2015 13:07
    So ducking wet make another one gasses

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.11.2015 04:37
    can you please write another part

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.12.2015 14:09
    when is the next one?

    Answer 0

  • ForeverAFreak
    04.12.2015 01:59
    Write another part, please! ;c You're so good!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.12.2015 20:32
    Well my panties are soaked.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.12.2015 18:24
    Finaly I found sm gud actually reallly gud story which made me smile.....add sm romance nd plz make more parts to it plzzz

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.12.2015 17:31
    Finaly I found sm gud actually reallly gud story which made me smile.....add sm romance nd plz make more parts to it plzzz

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.12.2015 05:20
    The author is probably probably never gonna do it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.12.2015 09:50
    Where is the part 3.?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.12.2015 11:52
    Can't wait for the next one

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.01.2016 12:56
    Can't wait for the next part

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.01.2016 23:40
    feed our minds! Part 3!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.01.2016 09:50
    I need to read the part 3 NOW!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.01.2016 09:18
    LoveThe story and would lovet to read more

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.01.2016 12:17
    You idiots that thought 'Roy Rogers' is a real person who did that, need to get medical professional to help you. Every one of you took the b8

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.01.2016 00:32
    MORE!!! I WANT PART 3!!! NOW!! PLZ!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.01.2016 04:15
    Ahhh.....ok......4 more times when I found this chapter.......thank goodness there's a break til 3 or I would pass out from pleasure!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.01.2016 07:17
    Convulsing orgasms. Gosh. I need this. Part three now!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.01.2016 20:17
    We want part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.02.2016 13:35
    Part three pls..

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.02.2016 16:22
    Shit story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.02.2016 04:44
    Are you ever gonna do a part three?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.02.2016 05:16
    This reminds me of fifty shades of grey sound familiar???!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.02.2016 22:08
    Part three please. Very hot

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.02.2016 04:56
    you should include some bondage!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.02.2016 05:26
    I jerked. Give us part 3 please

    Answer 0

  • Wet_Jamiee
    25.02.2016 20:52
    So good ;)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.03.2016 04:02
    Please. Please. Please. Write a chapter 3. This story is so good.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.03.2016 04:28
    Made me so wet!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.03.2016 11:16
    Need part 3 soon

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.04.2016 12:14
    Plz hurry and do a part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.04.2016 04:51
    Part three??

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.05.2016 17:37
    PART 3 UGGHH

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.05.2016 04:52
    You're a monster, you deserve the pain of a thousand hells.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.05.2016 16:32
    Iman wants part 3, thanks

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.05.2016 16:39
    Apparently, I'm too annoying

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.05.2016 05:15
    Been waiting for part 3 for the longest!!! So caught up in the story, please continue!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.05.2016 04:27
    are you going to post part 3 in 2017?!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.05.2016 19:20
    Please tell me there's a part 3
    I'm dying to know wat happens next
    I need to know
    Please hurry

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.05.2016 18:37
    Pack ur shit and get the hell out!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.05.2016 04:55
    I need part 3!!!!

    Answer 0

  • narutoforever
    30.05.2016 15:59
    let them do anal sex. let them fall in love. have Lily ask if he has done this to other girls before. let him bring his friends by to fuck her when she is more submissive and willing. let her get on by being a submissive whore and being degraded. have him bring a girl up and have Lily want to eat her pussy and give her a rim job and suck the fresh fucked cum out of her pussy and ass.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.06.2016 21:42
    Anyone willing to fuck me like him?? In dripping wet

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.06.2016 00:47
    soooo hot I wish I was her

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.06.2016 10:18
    Part 3 plss

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.06.2016 15:06
    Gang bang in the next part please

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.06.2016 15:01
    I left two comments on part 1. My general statements still stand with part 2. Too much/many overly simple conditions, cliche thoughts and predictable dialogue. I almost expect a picture of Favio to appear on the cover. :) Still I like the twist of her becoming his captive. Best regards... Praetorian

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.06.2016 22:04
    Wish I was Lily

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.06.2016 22:21
    A gang bang would be good, he can bring his friends or something

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.07.2016 01:13
    Wow how I want that so bad

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.07.2016 22:37
    PART 3 PLZZZ

    Answer 0

  • Symphony
    12.07.2016 17:51
    Cant wait 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.07.2016 23:09
    cant wait 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.07.2016 15:23
    come on make a part 3 already

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.07.2016 03:20
    This story is ridiculously good, I hope you make a new one soon.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.07.2016 00:41
    Need part 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.07.2016 19:38
    I always re read this and I must say, my right arm is stronger then my left.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.07.2016 01:03
    Can you please write the next part? I really like this story!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.07.2016 00:40
    pleas please plEASE WRITE PART 3

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.08.2016 10:39
    Oh my God please write a part three I really enjoyed reading this... as its also kinda one of my fantasies (#@-@#)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.08.2016 19:16
    It's kinda like beauty and the beast yeah?

    Answer 0

  • GemT
    28.08.2016 23:32
    Great story but, I was disappointed that Colin didnt get Jenny to beg for more cock from his friends at the party. I also hoped that she would find out the truth about the videos, maybe make more with Colin for Jesse to jack off to ....

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.08.2016 03:31
    dont bother with part three, it is crap.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.08.2016 14:41
    Ready for.part three!
    I think anal and maybe another girl needs to be involved.
    A little bondage too?!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.09.2016 14:46
    More! I seriously love this story great plot, I wouldn't want to see any anal not into that shit. However would love to see maybe a scene where she ties him up in his sleep and fucks him, and he gets mad but enjoys it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.09.2016 07:16
    I loved it.. a little bit of stockholm syndrome but it is sexy as fuck

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.09.2016 03:53
    Please yodate

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.09.2016 05:01
    That was so good I'm so wet. Can't wait for part three

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.09.2016 22:17
    Amazing

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.10.2016 03:19
    TOTALLY DISCUSTING I WILL NEVER READ ANYTHING BY YOU EVER AGAIN

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.10.2016 01:08
    Love this please keep writing soon!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.10.2016 16:13
    This souls be a book!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.10.2016 16:13
    Should I mean

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.10.2016 15:23
    my name is lily and god I wish that would happen to me

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.10.2016 00:34
    damn I wish I was Lilly plz keep writing!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.10.2016 01:47
    Please write more!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.10.2016 03:15
    who said "nice story",. there just is not one. to much sex and no plot or story.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.10.2016 17:16
    Damn this was good I wish I was lily plz write more!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.10.2016 18:19
    so basically peach float cancel baired you and zelda forgot to press a to become shiek and zero suit samus down throw to upair to up air to up b'd you wow noob git good

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.10.2016 16:06
    Maybe some bathroom fuckin' when lily is taking shower must be in the next chapter

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.10.2016 16:10
    More struggle and reluctance will make the climax more addictive

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.11.2016 20:01
    Please make more

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.11.2016 22:20
    Wow that made me cream

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.11.2016 06:44
    omgg I'm so fucking wet right now my pussy keeps clenchin over and overrrr again , great story keep up the great work plzzz write moreee!!! - Love from ur lebanese babe ♥

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.12.2016 21:20
    They need to make a movie

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.12.2016 23:40
    This story made me cum for the first time

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.12.2016 07:23
    How much longer before part 3 (and 4 and 5 and 6, etc)??? VERY hot story!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.01.2017 20:38
    this story is so good you should probably turn it into a book .

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.01.2017 05:44
    Great story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.01.2017 04:46
    Please create a part 3!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.01.2017 02:26
    Part 3, cum quick

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.01.2017 15:10
    Not bad at all. I'd like to see a story about a straight boy becoming a cock worshiper. Perhaps he could have his penis locked in a cage until he submitted.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.01.2017 20:44
    Fuk all you queers with a nigger dick

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.01.2017 08:33
    A book would be awesome!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.02.2017 02:26
    I grade it a B, you rushed the ending.

    Also to the anon reader before me- you apparently read and fapped to it, sounds like you want a nigger dick up your butt.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.02.2017 12:28
    I loved it, I agree the ending felt a little rushed, and not enough description of the agonising pain

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.02.2017 15:11
    fuck u fucking loossssseeerrr hey fuck oofff man fuck u and your fucking shit of and asshole story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.02.2017 00:29
    If only I could find someone to screw me lie that, ANYTIME OF THE DAY HECK!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.02.2017 08:34
    It's been 2 years I don't think we will get part 3

    Answer 0

  • Angel77777
    04.07.2017 16:21
    Hey everyone! I wrote a Part 3 for those who are interested... I JUST posted it so you might have to look for a bit to find it, bit it's there - enjoy! ;)

    Answer 0

  • Angel7777777
    14.07.2017 07:05
    That last comment is NOT from me. I have not written a part three!

    Well, almost... I'm halfway done part three. ;)
    But hey, if other people want to try to continue my story with their own fantasies- go for it! It's like a kinky choose your own adventure! :p
    Please don't pretend to be me though.

    Answer 0

  • justwanttoplease
    12.10.2017 00:24
    When's part 3???

    Answer 0

  • justwanttoplease
    12.10.2017 00:24
    When's part 3???

    Answer 0

  • freshkiss
    10.11.2017 20:09
    dress all the way with makeup and wig and let him fuck your tight ass. I know because I just had my first guy, it was my fathers friend, he caught me dressed up and I had to suck his dick, he came in my mouth and then he fucked my virgin tight ass, I really liked it, I want to do it some more. you never can tell until you try it...

    Answer 0

  • GloriHoleLover
    21.03.2018 17:54
    Ohhhh, Angel7777777...please...PLEASE...give us a Part 3! And, Parts 4 and 5 and 6...Just such delicious writing! Thanks for publishing this!!!

    Glori

    Answer 0

  • Kimfslut
    22.05.2019 05:50
    Love the story and love too read more

    Answer 0

  • sandmanbm
    26.05.2019 02:48
    Abby is a good mother and Joy is becoming a good daughter.

    Answer 0

  • freshkiss
    13.05.2020 06:38
    i cuckold my husband, I make him wear womens clothes and make him suck my boyfriends cocks, they even fuck his ass after they fuck my pussy. on his birthday I got him four black guys with huge cocks and they took him in the bedroom and I went out to the movies and they raped his ass and mouth all night, no one knew that I had set up video cameras to cover every angle during the action. I make him sit and watch it with me and then I have our neighbor, one of the big black guys, fuck his ass and mouth and then he has to watch me get laid by the guy. it always makes for a fun saturday night.

    Answer 0

  • smoothgrl
    03.08.2022 11:34
    Superb, wonderful story. I can see this will be a series I hope for a part three, but will still enjoy re-reading parts one and two.
    The totally reality ending was the clincher in a well told, correct grammar, fantastic tale.
    One of the best stories here.

    Answer 0

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