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Sex games

Skiing trip

Author: obiwankenobi288

Date: 31 May 2009

Incest, Fiction, Teen, Voyeurism

  • Font:

Картинка к рассказу

This story is completely fictional and it’s my first story so go easy on me. If you don’t like incest don’t bother reading. If you do then you must read it. The story will have more parts, the first one is only the beginning.(don’t bother me about the spelling because I am not English and I did my best to write it correctly). If you liked it please comment. Enjoy !


Skiing trip

My name is Robert Dawson and I’m a 16 year old boy. This is the story of my first sexual experience and the way it changed my life forever. Me and my family live in Telford, a little city in the middle of England. My mother Diane raised us as a single parent , Dad died when I was only 3 years old . I was two young then to understand where he was but is missed him since. Its Pretty tough to grow up without a dad but I managed. Yeah and there are also my sisters Amy ,she is a year younger then me and Violet who’s 18. We got along well , but don’t think we didn’t have our differences and problems that teenage kids have. My mom works as a nurse at the local hospital and in her free time she likes to write, but only as a hobby. In school I’m not the most popular guy but I get along. Mike is my best friend since forever , we are in the same class. Physically he is more muscular then me but I am not complaining whit myself neither I’m thin and taller then anybody in my class and I have blond hair. The girl seem to like me but I am, or better lets say was shy at the time to flirt back or react in some way.
My life was about to change but I had no idea. The school organized skiing trips every year, but I was never interested. The only difference was that this year my little sister was going to go and my mother wanted me to accompany her to keep my eye on her. Mom wasn’t comfortable to let her little daughter go by herself to a trip like this. So anyway I had no choice, and with a little effort I convinced Mike to come along. Frankly I was afraid even by the idea of me having to ski.
The evening before the trip I was packing my stuff when I heard a knock on my door. I said “come in” and a few seconds later my little sister Amy was standing in the door.
Now Amy is very beautiful, she has the most cutest blue eyes and physically she’s very developed. I know I shouldn’t think that way about my sister but come on, its really hard not to notice her perfect little breasts and the ass that would make anybody bite on his lips. I could tell that something was on her mind and was bothering her so I asked her “what’s up Amy”. She looked at me and timidly spoke up.
- I know mom made you come because of me, and I just wanted to apologize, but it was the only way she would let me go.
- No problem sis , it can’t be that bad anyway.
- I’m so exited , you know how much this means to me.
- Yeah I noticed, I’m happy I could help you out sis. I smiled at her and resumed my packing. A few moments later without any warning I felt her arms grab me from behind , first I was startled but then I realized that she was hugging me whit her face pressed into my back. We stayed like that for about half a minute when she spoke
- I love you bro, I really do.
- Ok now, its not that big a deal. I said not knowing how to react or what to say.
- It is for me and I promise I will make up for this. She squeezed me one more time , I could feel her breasts press in my back. What was I thinking? I know it was wrong but I couldn’t help not to think like this after all I was a 16 year old guy. She let go of me and ran out of the room.
I was surprised by how happy she was, she really was looking forward to go on this trip. I finished packing and decided to take a shower . I went I to the bathroom and striped, got in the shower and turned on the water. A few minutes later I heard the door of the bathroom open and somebody came in. I could not se who it was because of the shower door. I slightly pushed the door open till I could stick my head out and see who was the intruder. I was surprised to see Violet in the door of the bathroom locking at me. Violet was the grown up version of Amy. Naturally her breasts were bigger and more noticeable, I think they were about a C cup at least. She had long blonde hair and a body that made you drool. Now you must see how tough it was for me to grow up near three hot women( my mom was very beautiful to) and without any sexual relief except jacking of. It was torture.
- Hay Rob. -she sad with a pleading look on her face. I was a little angry with her, why couldn’t she wait till I finished showering.
- Haven’t you learned to knock? -I asked .She looked like she was in a hurry.
- Sorry but I couldn’t wait, I’m going to a party and my ride is nearly here so I need to take a shower quickly , is it ok with you?
- Ok just a minute. I closed the shower door and resumed washing the soap of my body in a hurry to finish quickly to let my sister have her shower. I was about to get out when the shower door opened and my sister came in completely naked. My yaw dropped, I never seen a girl naked before in real life so it was a shock for me and the fact that it was my sister didn’t helped. She looked at me.
- Sorry but I’m in a real hurry, please don‘t tell mom about this. I instantly covered my private area with my hands, resulting in dropping the soap. She noticed and had a weird grin on her face.
- Don’t be so shy , its not like I haven’t seen it before. She had a point but that was when we were much younger . She bent over to recover the soap giving me a nice view of her shaved pussy. I felt my dick growing, giving me a hard time covering it with my hands. She was really hot, it had been a long time since I saw her naked. She started soaping her front with her back to me. I was frozen to the spot. She didn’t give much attention to me and to the fact that although I was finished I was still there.
- Could you wash my back bro?- she asked me. don’t be scared I won’t look.
At first I was reluctant but I realized that this could easily be a one in a lifetime opportunity so I decided it would be stupid not to go along.
- I guess, if its ok with you. - I said in a trembling voice.
- Of course its ok with me, why do you think I asked?
I took my hands away from my fully erect dick , I was shocked of what I was doing but I had already made up my mind. She handed me the soap and I started rubbing her back with my soapy hands. Her skin was so smooth . I noticed my dick was pressed against her ass cheek and I was sure she felt it. Now I was really embarrassed but she never said anything so I continued. I washed her back and her neck. I Moved away from her and said “it’s done”. Her next words almost made me faint on the spot.
What do you mean you’re done, you only washed the half of me, or are you backing out little chicken? Suddenly my anger rose.
- I am aware we should not do this but nobody calls me a chicken so to prove you wrong I’m going to do it.
- Whoa little brother you don’t have to if you don’t want to.
- First you challenge me now you’re backing of, who’s the chicken now?
I was teasing he and she knew it. Her answer to my last attack was that she pushed her ass into the air towards me. By this time the tip of my dick was soaked in precum and I was barely containing myself not to rub it. I soaped my hands and started rubbing her lower back.
- Make sure to was the spot where your friend pushed his head into my ass.
So she noticed, I became embarrassed again
- I’m sorry about that.
- Don’t be, it felt really nice.
I couldn’t believe her, she was never like this to me, ok maybe she teased me once In a while but not like this.
I rubbed her ass with my hands. I took my time rubbing her ass cheeks but because my hand was soapy It accidentally slipped down her ass crack finally stopping on her pussy lips. She jumped by the sudden pleasure and I was about to have a heart attack. I started apologizing.
- Sorry about that sis, it was an accident.
- Don’t be, I’m used to wash my pussy to you know.
- Ok but I’m you’re brother.
- So what, I’m not going to bite you, please continue.
- What? You want me to wash you there?
- I understand if you don’t want to.
- I want to, but its just wrong.
- Its not like were having sex or something like that.
- Ok but this is between us you understand?
- Yeah, don’t be so scared.
I soaped my trembling hands and put my right one on her pussy. I slowly rubbed her cunt she started moving with my hand. I couldn’t believe it, the first pussy I touched in my life was my sisters. It was wrong but I lost all control over my actions. I could feel the warmth between her legs and noticed she was becoming exited. My fingers slipped inside her a few times because of the soap and her flowing juices. She haven’t said anything.
She suddenly moved under the water to wash the soap of. I followed her because I was soapy to. When she finished she turned facing me. It was the first time I could see her breasts except when she came in but then I was to embarrassed with my nakedness that I wasn’t able to notice her gorgeous breasts. She smiled at me and I realized I forgot to cover myself and she had a good look of my dick. We stared at each other for a time and then she left the shower. I followed her. She was drying herself with a towel. My dick was bouncing in every direction, and made walking difficult.
- Do you want some help with that Roby?
- You’re joking, right? I asked in a shocked voice.
- Yeah, I guess so. She said but something in her voice told me she wasn’t.
- I thought you were in a hurry.
- Yeah I am but I felt sorry leaving you in this state.
- I will manage. I said thinking that in a few minutes I will jack of like an animal. I was horny as hell but I wasn’t going to let my sister jack me of.
- Anyway thank you for helping me out and letting me take the shower with you. She wrapped the towel around herself and left the bathroom. I dried myself and went back to my room. I jacked of and cummed like never before. By the time I put my clothes on I heard a car pull into our driveway and heard Violet running down the stairs. That night I barely slept. One thing that kept my mind busy was the fore coming trip and of course my little shower with my sister. At 7’o clock my alarm went of. I was still sleepy but I got up and went to the bathroom. My eyes were still half closed, so you imagine my surprise when I saw my mother on the toilet. She screamed and shouted for me to get out. I couldn’t see why she was up so early and why didn’t she used the other bathroom that was linked with the master bedroom. She came out and apologized because of her overreaction.
- Its ok mom , I should have knocked.
- It just happened, no harm done right ?
- I guess.
- Are you ready for the trip? - she asked.
- Yeah , I hope it won’t be lame
- I’m sure it won’t honey.
After I washed I went down to eat something. Amy was probably still asleep. I wondered who will attend this years trip. I was hoping that Julie will be there. She was a girl from my class whom I had a crush on. She newer gave me any attention but I was hoping that it was because I barely talked to her. Just as I finished my breakfast Amy came in to the kitchen. She was already dressed.
- You better hurry up because we leave in 20 - I said to her
She was steel quite sleepy because she just looked at me and nodded. After about half an our later we left the house. The meeting point was close to our house so we walked on foot.
The buss was already there. I was surprised how many of the students were going. Mike was already on the bus, and was saving me a seat. My sis sat with her best friend Beth. I hated her because she was an overconfident snobby bitch. I didn’t understand why my sister hang out with her. Our gym teacher was the one organizing the trip, and giving the lessons. The drive was pretty boring but not very long. I was happy to se that Julie was on the buss to. She sat a few seats in front of me. After about 2 hours I saw the sign that indicated we had 10 more miles to go. In a few minutes we arrived. It was a little village that was built at the bottom of the mountains. There were few locals mostly tourist were the ones who occupied the resort. I was quite cold. We went to check in to the motel. Me and Mike got a room together. We left our baggage’s in the room and headed to the lobby where our teacher was waiting for us. He gave a speech about the rules and safety measures. I noticed that most of the kids haven’t paid any attention to what he was saying. The main plan was that for two days he was going to teach us the basics and after that we would have 6 days to have fun. I liked the idea, because previously I thought that it was going to be a strict and boring week. The first two days past quite slowly and painfully. The exercises were hard and exhausting. I was happy to go to sleep after the second day. We have learned the basics and mostly everybody managed to ski down the beginners slope the second day. My sister was quite good at skiing. I was just note made for this sport. Julie was great at it, probably this wasn’t the first time she skied. The third day me and Mike were going to hike up the mountain. At breakfast my sister and to my great dislike Beth joined us. As we ate and talked I accidentally told my sister my plans for the day. She liked the idea and asked me if it was ok if Beth and her came with us. I wasn’t going to let them come but I had no choice. My sister had a gift of persuading anybody. I just couldn’t resist her.
- So its settled then , we meet in front of the motel in a hour right? -she asked.
- Yeah, I guess, but don’t be late.
- We won’t.
As I looked to Beth I could see that she wasn’t happy about the trip or maybe because she will have to spend the day near me. I guess she knew about me not liking her. I stood up from the table and was going to go to my room when Julie intercepted me. I was so surprised I was barely able to manage to say a “hello” to her.
- Hy Robert, I overheard your conversation at the table and was wandering if I could come along to. I’m bored here and it sounds to me that you are in for some fun. Her request caught me off guard so I instinctively said “yes” to her.
- Were meeting in an our at the entrance. - I said to her.
- I’ll be there.
I went back to my room and soon Mike came through the door. He was smiling.
- What are you so happy about?
- Nothing particular you know, maybe because were going on the mountain with the three most beautiful girls around here.
- I understand. Maybe it won’t be bad.
- It will be fun I say.
After an our we went down to meet the girls. They were waiting for us but I noticed they were 4 now not 3 as we agreed. I’ve never seen the fourth girl. I looked at her, she was pretty. Had brown hair and nice body. Julie noticed my puzzled look and said.
- She’s my sister Suzy, she’s from another school, I hope you don’t mind but she had nothing to do and I taught she could come with us. She wont be in your way.
They both looked at me and I said “no problem”. We climbed the ski slopes and went further up the mountain till we reached the top. From up there we got a beautiful view of the mountains. We stayed there about an our after witch we decided to go down the other side of the mountain to see other landscapes to. Julie said that she knew the way so everybody was reassured. Halfway down the mountain we saw the clouds forming and in no time at all it started snowing. The girls were happy and we all started fooling around, having a snow fight and all. About ten or so minutes later however it started snowing more and more harder. I started to worry because the visibility dropped drastically. We needed to decide what we were going to do. Climb back up the way we came or go downhill. Julie said that going down we will be back much faster. We went downhill. The weather was getting worse every minute that went by. We arrived onto a flat area on the hillside. The snow here was waist deep. I was wet all over my body by this time and so was everybody else. Amy started crying and asked me to hold her hand. I was frightened to because it got dark very fast and it was still snowing hard. Everybody was tired and hungry. I noticed Julie was disoriented and wasn’t sure in witch direction to go. I understood her because in this weather conditions even a professional tracker would get lost to. We arrived on the top of what looked like an old slope. We carefully started descending but then my sister slipped and started sliding down the mountainside. I jumped after her but I couldn’t stop both of us so I slid after her. At the base of the slope I saw a little river. Amy fell into it I slipped in to, but a managed to land on my feet so I was only knee deep in the water. I helped my sister up, and by the time we got out the others arrived to. Beth was crying to, she ran toward us and hugged the both of us. I was amazed by the change she went through, but I recon that fear does that with anybody. We rested a little but not having a choice, continued to go on. It was really dark and cold by now. I was worried about my sister being all wet. My mom would kill me if something happened to her. Just when I thought were screwed I saw something like a house in the dark. I ran forward and was very happy to see that it was really a house. I knocked on the door but nobody answered. Judging by the darkness inside I concluded that nobody was home. Me and Mike forced the door open and went inside. After checking that the coast was clear we called the girls inside. The house had only one room and almost nothing in it. I was glad to see a fireplace and in one corner something that looked like sleeping bags. I decided it was time to take the role of leader so I asked Mike to go out and find some firewood near the cabin. Mike nodded and left and Julie followed him. I guess she was feeling guilty because after all she was the one who supposed to know the way.
Amy was really trembling so I went to check out the sleeping bags. I was happy for finding sleeping bags but the problem was there were only three of them. We had no choice but to pair up. Mike and Julie came back with wood and said they found it in the back of the cabin and that theirs more. So in a few minutes a fire was burning. I told them about the sleeping bags. Naturally Julie was going to sleep with her sister witch left the question if I was going to sleep with one of the remaining girls ore with Mike. My sister said.
- I want to sleep with my brother.
Beth had no choice but to sleep with Mike. I saw some TV shows about surviving in these situations so I spoke up.
- We must take of our wet clothes and dry them. Were not supposed to stay long in wet clothes because hypothermia gets you quicker.- I saw Julie nodding in approval.
- And we are supposed to get naked in front of each other because you say so? Beth asked.
- First of all you can stay in you underwear so you don’t’ have to be naked, second of all you really think that I have nothing on my mind right now besides seeing you naked and last of all I don’t give a shit. If you want to freeze to death be my guest.
She was shocked by my reaction but I really didn’t care. My priority for the moment was my sisters and my own safety.
- And by getting naked we won’t freeze, I don’t understand how? - Suzie asked
- We keep each other worm with our bodies. - Julie said.
- Right its easy for you, sleeping with you’re family. Said Beth but after she saw the look on my face she lowered hers. We all started to undress. The fire wormed the cabin up a little bit so it wasn’t really cold. To my surprise when I looked towards Julie and Suzie I saw that neither of them had panties on. Mike noticed to. The firelight was dancing on their naked pussy’s. Just then Julie noticed I was looking and I quickly turned the other way. What I saw made me even more surprised. My sister took of her underwear and was kneeling in front of the fire putting her clothes to dry. She then turned and looked at me. Above her pussy she had a few curls of blonde pubes. Her tits were perky with tiny pink nipples. My dick was growing fast. She went to our sleeping bag and climbed inside. I took my pants and sweater of and was only in my boxers. I was ready to climb in when Amy stopped me.
- What do you think you’re doing?
- Getting in the sleeping bag, I guess.
- No way I’m letting you in with that wet underwear, take it of.
- It’s not that wet.- I argued
- Yes it is and I won’t let you in until you don’t take it off.
I reluctantly looked around and noticed that besides Beth I was the only one still outside of the sleeping bags. I slid down my boxers and my dick stood facing the roof. I was really embarrassed about it. I saw Julie and her sister checking me out but I think it was only fare after all I checked them out a few minutes ago. I turned to my sister.
- Happy? - I asked her nervously. She was smiling.
- I think between the two of us you’re the happy one.- She said laughing.




To be continued


102064   2 21062   Rating +9 [610] Next part

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Comments 46
  • Anonymous+reader
    03.06.2009 17:25
    please continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • hornyboi34
    03.06.2009 17:46
    its hard to follow who's talking and like you i am also a new writer. if you would like maybe we could share tips. GREAT STORY=]

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.06.2009 18:12
    Great story line, please continue.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.06.2009 18:29
    excellent def want more

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.06.2009 20:04
    Great story line. But you really do need to proof read please. It's the simple stuff that starts to spoil a story.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.06.2009 21:14
    very very very good, please continue with part 2 soon.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.06.2009 22:15
    nice... need to work on your english though

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.06.2009 00:18
    When I first started posting stories, I didn't know that paragraph breaks wouldn't show on this site unless there was a line space between them. Please do that for your next story to make it easier to read. Also, find a friend who writes English well and have him proofread your work before submitting it. That will improve your story greatly.

    You have a good story line going here. I'm anxious to read more.

    Answer 0

  • bbanks69
    04.06.2009 02:12
    cant wait for part two, hurry please, great story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.06.2009 03:07
    more man more and want to hear mom bout the older sister too

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.06.2009 15:02
    Part 2 pleaseee...!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.06.2009 15:11
    you definatly need to put up the next part of this story

    Answer 0

  • chris4sylvia
    04.06.2009 16:49
    This story has been altered slighty from 1 that I have read, and posted a comment about, on a different web-site...On this site the story was about a 15 yr old boy, having exactly the same experiences, but with a group of older women. The story scenario, the plot and even the ending are the same. The only difference is that in the original story, the women were not his sisters. Even the title is almost the same, as the original story is titled "The Ski Trip.."
    If we are to encourage new authors, it would be best that they write their own work. As only by doing that, can we fairly comment and advice them on any help....

    Answer 0

  • obiwankenobi288
    04.06.2009 17:37
    This story is completly from my imagination. i have never read the story you are talking about. i guess i just want to say that you're wrong.

    obiwankenobi288

    Answer 0

  • obiwankenobi288
    04.06.2009 17:41
    the second part is in the validation process i guess it will be posted in about 3 days

    obiwankenobi288

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    04.06.2009 18:24
    when is part 2 cuming part 3 back at home cuming plzzzzz!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • peeker
    04.06.2009 18:30
    hot, very hot, i can't believe you left us hanging without one orgsm, hurry the f*** up, thanks enjoyed the story very much

    Answer 0

  • shaggy
    05.06.2009 06:06
    Dick move, but only because you wrote a great story and left us hanging, Great job i hope to read more

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    05.06.2009 20:35
    can you please write part two!!!! its really good

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.06.2009 20:35
    SO MANY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2009 00:40
    She bent over to recover the soap giving me a nice view of her shaved pussy.

    How to hell did you do that?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2009 00:41
    How could this story possibly get that high a rating?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2009 01:13
    How could this story possibly get that high a rating?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2009 01:13
    She bent over to recover the soap giving me a nice view of her shaved pussy.

    How to hell did you do that?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2009 02:05
    for those who have never seen a real pussy; when a girl bends over and she has her back to you, both her pussy and her asshole are clearly visible. i guess you never heard of fucking doggie fashion either?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2009 04:18
    It appears that you didn't pay a whole lot of attention to what your teachers were trying to teach you because your work shines the spotlight on your lack of education.... and you live in ENGLAND, where the language originates? You didn't even proof read it, for God's sake! Why?... no pride?

    I agree with the reader who commented that he/she wondered how the rating for this story could possibly be as high as it is because it's certainly not worthy of being rated anywhere near as high as it is. I suspect that most readers didn't see the point in bothering to comment and just closed the page to go find something that's readable. I only read three or four paragraphs and gave it up as a lost cause. .... could have been a good story line but I didn't feel like 'working' through the clutter to see if it was.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2009 16:28
    first of all the story is fictional so the part that i'm english is made up. I apologized for the grammar and spelling mistakes. i wrote the story in a hurry and i confess i havent prof read it. the part about my education is insulting. I have nobody to talk to in english so i am not god at grammar stuff. And i think the ratings show that lots of people enjoyed the actual storry. Not everybody is mister perfect.

    the author.(obiwankenobi288)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2009 22:14
    This is both a good start to a story and a good start for your writing.
    The best way to get good at writing is write more.
    Thanks.
    =Dreamer=

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.06.2009 00:39
    all you stupid people that commented on spelling and other errors need to stop reading on this site at the beginin he said that he didnt know english so dont complain read the first part then read the story by the way good storie cant wait to read 2

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.06.2009 05:43
    O.K., the author doesn't know English but what's YOUR excuse?

    Answer 0

  • teenheat
    10.06.2009 17:45
    I loved this story. It is true that the English isn't perfect, but it's a great little tease of a story none the less. For a person who isn't English himself (or herself!) that's a bloody good effort. Much better than anything I could come up with in French, certainly.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.06.2009 05:41
    the grammar wasn't as bad as you made it sound, it was quite readable compared to some of the stories i have read. Just keep in mind for all further stories, a little proofreading goes a long way. That said, it was a very good way to start the story. I was quite impressed with this being your first one and i will definitely stay around to read the rest of them.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    11.06.2009 05:59
    the grammar wasn't as bad as you made it sound, it was quite readable compared to some of the stories i have read. Just keep in mind for all further stories, a little proofreading goes a long way. That said, it was a very good way to start the story. I was quite impressed with this being your first one and i will definitely stay around to read the rest of them.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    11.06.2009 09:07
    lol
    you type better than some people who actually speak English as their first language

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  • Anonymous+reader
    11.06.2009 17:52
    Umm no sex!!!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    11.06.2009 18:14
    for criminey sake are you reading these stories to correct them or are you reading the stories to hear a hot story honestly its an adult story on a website thats free. sory harvard english proffessor you couldnt get your rocks off because the author spelled something wrong- good story liked the second as well

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  • HarpHaruno
    12.06.2009 21:34
    Great story I can see ur trying hard with ur English and I'd like to congradulate u. I like the way you used this first part to build up the story befor adding the sex. Keep writing

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  • HarpHaruno
    12.06.2009 22:09
    Great story I can see ur trying hard with ur English and I'd like to congradulate u. I like the way you used this first part to build up the story befor adding the sex. Keep writing

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  • Anonymous+reader
    13.06.2009 15:04
    Yeah i agree with the consensus, your grammar and spelling was actually pretty good to say your not english, well done

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  • Anonymous+reader
    17.06.2009 04:54
    I understand English isn't your first language, but see if you can get someone to edit or something.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    18.10.2009 20:59
    Several comments - as suggested getting someone on this site to help edit the stories is a brilliant idea - it will really help your english along - i personnally find that the odd spelling error and grammar error a little bit jarring - as for the story itself - nice intro - something to explore is why his sister is trying to seduce him (in the shower) as for the other bit - really really good

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  • Anonymous+reader
    27.04.2010 19:23
    to unrealistic for me. i stopped with the shower no guy that was that shy would have stayed when she got in he would have ran as fast as he could. you posted this as fiction and fiction has to be based on reality and it has to be believable this is fantacy and should be listed as such. also not being english is no excuse for poor writing that is what they have editors for. the only excuse you have for your poor writing is lazyness and not caring about your story . get an editor and do a proper rewrite

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  • anonymous+reader
    20.11.2011 20:07
    HOW CAN ANY ONE GET OFF ON SUCH A CRAPPY STORY THIS WOULD ONLY APPEAL TO UNDERAGE READERS. ANYONE OLD ENOUGH TO REALLY BE HERE WILL NOT BE TURNED ON ONLY TURNED OFF BY THE BAD SPELLING AND SUCH. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND EITHER DO IT RIGHT OR NOT AT ALL.

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2013 01:51
    dude it was his first fucking story like u can do better so fuck yourself 50 year old cock sucking virgin

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2013 01:53
    fiction is a made up story dumbass so harry potter is fiction do u belive that fuck go back to l.a grade 1

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  • Anonymous+reader
    05.01.2014 03:42
    no paragraphs, piss poor writing, unrealistic plot, all add up to a waste of time that needs to be deleted and rewritten by a GOOD WRITER using a GOOD EDITOR.

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