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Sex games

My Neighbor's Incest Part XVI

Author: BiStander

Date: 8 December 2009

Anal, True Story, Incest, Romance

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Note to potential readers!
Don't continue if you just want a good quick sex story. This is not it, and it will suck for you and waste your time. Hit back now, please.

If you have been reading this story for the characters and the plot, then you might enjoy this chapter.
If it has been more for the sex parts, you might want to skip this chapter. I'm not trying to trash my own story, but this isn't a great chapter for the sex. I don't want to waste your time and disappoint you, so I warn you of that.
The Incest theme goes with the whole story, not an actual event in this chapter!!!

As always, I hope you enjoy it. I welcome your comments, especially if you feel it deserves a negative vote.

My Neighbor's Incest Part XVI

Five minutes after the phone rang, my mother was still chatting away and all my hopes that it was for me had been lost. I had been waiting all morning for my girlfriend to call. Whichever one happened to call. That is, if I actually had a girlfriend.

Everything about my long Thanksgiving weekend, leading to Saturday night, had been like something penned by a schizophrenic novelist. Deeply moving love flourished between girl and boy, even cousins. A man had tossed his most sacred vow for a moment of pleasure with a seventeen year old goddess, his own niece. My love for Jasmin had finally been acknowledged without diminishing my love for Susan. Jasmin's confession had broken my heart while igniting my need to satisfy her. The whole weekend had been wrapped in their parent's dark family secret. Then, everything had blown apart Saturday night. It was like a truck full of mystery writers rammed headlong into a truck load of erotic fantasy novelists. I was still reeling from the sight of Susan giving herself away right before my eyes. Her own cousin used her like Jasmin's lawn boy of years past.

My love for Jasmin and my evil lust had acted like an anesthetic while I watched, but like Novocain, they left me with a lasting ache when they wore off. I spent two hours sitting between the two sisters after the depraved act of incest. The whole time my heart hurt like a tooth needing a root canal. My love for both of them acted like a hammer against my head, driving Cindy's prophetic words into my gray matter. Follow your heart.

I spent a sleepless night trying to choose between the two girls. Jasmin had turned into Susan and Susan into Jasmin. I had loved them both before their metamorphosis, but only had one as my girlfriend. Now, I still loved them both, yet they were both my girlfriend. How can I have two girlfriends when they are sisters?

"Joe, somebody wants to talk to you." My mother's unexpected words crashing into my mental war game, did all but stop my heart.

I wasn't sure who to expect because my mother had been on the phone since it rang, and we didn't have call waiting. I wondered if somehow my mother could have been talking to Mrs. Davis all that time. My nerves crackled as I reached for the phone. I tried to read my mother's face, but she was still in her secret agent mode, so I blindly spoke. "Hello."

The voice that came through the speaker sparked a warm glow in my troubled heart. That was until my brain fully engaged and comprehended the words spoken. "Joe, so you think I'm hot?"

"Jiminy Cricket! Mom!" I double hated it when she out smarted me and embarrassed me too.

I crashed into the couch extra hard to show my disapproval in the most defiant way that I could get away with. "Cindy, I can explain."

Cindy was chuckling on the other end of the phone like she could see the whole scene. "Joe, please don't explain, just say, 'yes, you are.'"

I didn't respond to Cindy's request because I didn't want the whole, "hot cousin" thing to go any further. "Cindy, I am so glad to hear your voice." I took a long pause to collect my thoughts and make sure secret agent woman was off on a new mission.

"So, how are you, stud muffin?" My cousin's comical attempt struck a nerve.

"Darn it! Don't call me that. I wish nobody ever called me that again." I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself that Cindy didn't do anything wrong.

"Geez, I'm sorry. What's wrong with you? You're not upset because of what happened with us, are you?"

"Cindy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just that I'm upside down like a pinata! Phew!" I gave Cindy a second to respond. I wanted her to listen and even help me, yet there was so much I didn't want to have to say. So much I can't say over the phone.

"So, what's with hanging by your feet getting hit with broomsticks." I couldn't hear Cindy giggling, but I knew she was.

"Just for the record, you were the best part of my weekend. I probably shouldn't even keep dragging you into my problems." I wanted Cindy's help, or maybe just her comfort, but how could I expect her to do anything?

"You better keep dragging me into it! Your life is better than any soap operas. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I still can't believe my twerp, goober head cousin has two girlfriends. And, one is a hot sixteen year old. Plus, you did it with her mother. Wow, you can't make this stuff up." Cindy once again had an in my face summation of my current life. Except, she didn't bother to mention what I had done with my own cousin.

"Cindy, it's not funny. I feel like my head is going to explode. I tried to follow my heart, like you said, but now things are worse. Now, they both act like I'm their boyfriend, even while we're all in the same room!" A large exhale blew from my mouth as I heard my own words out loud. It sounded worse than when it was just silently circling in my head.

"Joe, you have to choose."

"I can't, I love both of them. Except, now they both know."

"Joe, they always both knew. You were the only one who didn't know. Susan told me you were in love with her sister. That's why I freaked out when we saw Jesselyn from the attic. I looked at her and thought, there is no way that isn't Susan's sister. I figured you'd flip seeing the other girl you loved with someone else." Cindy's words chilled me to my bones.

"Cindy, you don't understand. I wish you were here." I could imagine her warm body huddled against mine as I fought off the tears that were trying to escape from my tightly shut eyes.

"Joe, I think that might cause more trouble for you. Although, it would be nice being there. I feel for you because I have loved two boys before. Of course nothing happened with either of them, but it was still hard. However, being in love with two girls, who are sisters, and live next door, is not going to work for you. Not only will they get hurt, so will you. So, what does your heart tell you?" I took a second to absorb the unbelievably obvious statement my cousin had passed off as wisdom.

"Cindy, how the hell am I supposed to know if my head or my heart is speaking? I want both of them, but I don't want them at the same time. Whichever one I'm with, I love that one the most. When we are all together, I just want to kill myself, so I don't have to figure it out."

"Joe, don't do that, I want to see you for Christmas. It will work out, you'll see. Just remember your heart will win in the end." Cindy stopped talking and the silence was like thunder.

I realized at that point that Cindy wasn't going to tell me who to choose and that was what I wanted. So, I changed the subject. "Cindy, what do you want for Christmas?"

"Wow, since when do you get me anything for Christmas?"

"I know we don't normally exchange presents, but we're growing up. You don't have to get me anything, but I want to get you something. You helped me more than you'll ever know, even if you will not tell me who I should be in love with." I had to give her a little snippet of my frustration.

"Joe, honestly, I can't tell you. I can't say I could be unbiased. I can't really even tell you what I want for Christmas. Not yet anyway." Cindy's words sounded more like a confession that an explanation.

"How about you tell me later and for now you tell me what to get Jasmin for her birthday?" I figured I'd give Cindy a chance to sort through her thoughts. Whatever they were.

"Good luck you poor boy! Sweet sixteen is major, like turning thirteen, times one hundred. You got enough for a diamond?" I was hoping Cindy's words were more sarcastic than not.

"I'm hoping her father will handle anything that big, but I'm going to break my bank open. I don't know how much is in it, but it should be enough to handle that and Christmas."

"No way! Not Ms. Wigney. You can't break her open." Cindy's screeching voice curved up my mouth slowly at first, but then made me crack up.

I had my piggy bank, since I was five. It was a present from my aunt and uncle and my speech impaired cousin, at that time, couldn't say Ms. Piggy correctly. Hence, my bank was Ms. Wigney. Later to be known as, Kermit's bitch. I cracked up at the sudden memory of my toothless best friend, spraying all her words. Then I felt sad, knowing I had promised my Uncle Jim, I wouldn't open it until I was sixteen, and then I'd buy my corvette.

"Cindy, I know there will never be enough money in there for a car. Not before I turn sixteen anyway. I think it's time, and this is a good cause. I feel like I'd do anything for Jasmin. I can't talk about what happened yesterday, but I will when I see you. For now, help me!" My final words sent a shiver through me. Help me, I at least know I need help.

"I'll help you. I'll talk to Julie and we'll figure something out. From what you and Susan told me, Jasmin sounds a lot like Julie." Cindy's voice trailed off like she was deeply saddened by her current thoughts.

"I have to go soon, Susan and Jasmin's cousins leave today. It's amazing it only takes them an hour more to get home than it took you, and they live in Pennsylvania. Cindy, I think I'm going to ask my parents if I can come there on the bus and spend most of the Christmas break with your family. Maybe I just need time away to see who I miss more?" I could almost hear Cindy smiling through the phone.

"Joe, that sounds like a great idea! You think they will let you?"

"I don't see why they wouldn't, I ride that stupid school bus four hours a week. It would just be like taking the whole week on the bus at one time." I actually had no idea where my brain storm came from, and wasn't sure it would fly with my parents, but I liked the feeling it gave me more every second.

"Don't get too excited, but I'll figure out some way to ask soon, and you call me back as soon as you can help with a birthday suggestion. Don't be afraid to tell Julie about Jasmin, but please try and leave my involvement out as much as possible." I hadn't realized until that moment that I was embarrassed by my lifestyle. The very things we all fantasized about since we knew what they were, bring me shame.

"Joe, I'll call as soon as I can. I can't wait to see you. Good bye."

"If you'd like to make a call, please hang..." The squawk of the recording broke me from my blank stare at the phone receiver. I didn't want my cousin to be gone. I needed her to connect me to my previous life and help me from thinking about my girlfriends.

The doorbell jarred my brain from its mission to come up with the perfect way to ask my parents about going to Cindy's as soon as class ended. That was what I needed, time away from what had consumed me for six months.

I swung the door open to a very somber looking Susan. The girl whose infectious joy normally bubbled over onto every living thing in her vicinity, instantly increased the void in my happiness. Is it me not knowing how to see her?

"Susan, are you okay? Are you sad because they have to go? Is it school tomorrow? Is it, me?" I waited silently for an answer, hoping to see some sign of life.

"It's nothing, or maybe it's everything. I guess it's them going. I don't know, but you have to say good bye. There's no telling when we'll see them again." Susan seemed more confused than I felt, but I knew she wasn't good at talking about her feelings, so I just smiled and slipped on my sneakers.

The previous day's warm sun had been over taken by low gray skies and a damp cool that sank in deep. Susan's uncharacteristic mood was displayed vividly as she took each step one at a time off the porch. Her arm quietly moved around my waist and pulled me to her side. I followed her lead and dropped my arm around her shoulders. A familiar warmth eased over my body and my heart. We walked without words at a snail's pace towards her yard.

As we rounded the corner of the house a crowd of people was standing around the back of the car, loading stuff and talking. My immediate response at the sight of Susan's mother was to pull away, but her fingers grasped at my flesh and tugged me to her.

"Next time mail all your clothes home!" Jeremy was struggling to get Jesselyn's swollen suitcase inside the trunk.

"If I knew we were going to buy so much, I would have brought less." Jesselyn tried to give assistance, but it seemed more like moral support than actual help.

"Ya, that will be the day!" Jeremy put up his hand to show his sister she didn't need to help.

Mrs. Davis and Aunt Jane were standing together talking. The difference in their demeanor was night and day compared to the day she arrived. Jasmin blankly observed the whole scene, like she was invisible. Susan never removed her arm from my waist. Is she sending a message to Jasmin, her mother, or both?

Mrs. Davis turned, rounded the back of the car and looked right at me as she approached. I stepped away from Susan a couple of inches out of respect more than fear, but fear existed as well.

Mrs. Davis's loving eyes embraced my nervous face as she closed the distance between us. I wasn't sure if it was the new life in her belly, or her swelling in all the right places, but somehow her beauty had been enhanced. I was suddenly terrified when she stood inches from me.

"Hey sweetheart. Don't worry, I already knew. Why do kids think their parents are so stupid?" Mrs. Davis smiled in the direction of Aunt Jane.

"I hope you enjoyed having Susan over for Thanksgiving as much as she seemed to enjoy it. Make sure you thank your mother for me. Oh, and don't underestimate her, either." Mrs. Davis kissed my cheek and gave Susan a look I didn't understand.

After a few more minutes, everything was in the car, I realized Mr. Davis's car wasn't anywhere to be seen. Which was pretty much all right with me after Jasmin's meltdown yesterday. "Okay, that's it, we are ready to go."

It dawned on me at that point that the reason everyone wasn't saying good bye, was because they were all going. Susan faced me and forced a lame smile to her lips. "Say good bye, and I need to see you when we get back from the airport."

Jesselyn's rattlesnake eyes cut into me as her lips approached mine. Her soft moist lips pressed against my mouth just long enough to make me uncomfortable. She hugged me, and pulled back to look into my eyes. I saw the face of a troubled young lady, Susan in five years. She kissed me again with even more uncalled for passion, then whispered in my ear. "You are very special to them, you need to really be there for them now. They need you."

Jesselyn stepped back and spoke at a normal volume. "It was really nice getting to meet you. I hope we meet again soon." She smiled with a genuine warmth that made me want to hug her again.

Jasmin's glance was that of a person stinging from painful news. Her silence was uncharacteristic and sickening. My heart broke as she climbed in the car. Jeremy gave me a quick guy hug and a cordial, "nice to meet you," then he entered the car next to Jasmin.

Once everyone had boarded the large Cadillac and the engine was cranked, I knew for sure there was no Mr. Davis, going on this trip. The scene seemed more like a funeral run, than an airport run. The cool gray day set the stage perfectly for the end of act one, of the family drama, I had been watching. Act two, opened with a worried and sad young man questioning everything, with his heart feeling as cold as the November drizzle that was falling on his head.

As I started towards my house, I played a rerun of all their faces in my mind, trying to figure out what it all meant. I figured everyone could have been a little down because the visit was ending. However, I couldn't fathom that Jasmin's great love for me from yesterday, could have been turned off over night. Why didn't Jasmin talk to me? How much does my mother know? What did Jesselyn mean? I reached my house with a brain full of questions and a heart crushed by the weight of my love. A love that seemed more dangerous than hate.

"I know mom, but I don't care if I get wet. Okay, I'll eat turkey or one of those green moldy things in the back of the refrig." My humor was more for my down mood than my mother's entertainment.

"I promise, I'll be fine, and no I don't want to come volunteer at the nursing home. I know I'll be old and smell funny one day too, but for now I'd rather ride my bike in the rain"

My mother's concern almost made me fall for her tactic, but I heard Mrs. Davis's words playing in my head, and I shut down. I couldn't talk honestly to my mother about my life spiraling towards the pit of hell anyway. But, without knowing what she knew, I couldn't even chance confiding parts of my pain with her. I eventually have to solve my own problems anyway, might as well start now.

I resisted the urge to kiss my mother as I headed for my trusty steed. I hadn't mounted my Schwinn for months, and I was sure it wasn't going to compare to what I had been mounting, but I needed to clear my head. In the old days, I could ride my bicycle for endless hours. In my imagination, I was a cowboy on a horse or a tough biker dude on a Hog. I'd race through plains rescuing beautiful Indian squaws, or save women from mean members of opposing gangs. I'd see a girl like Jasmin and in my dream world, I'd swoop in and lift her to the back of my speeding horse. I'd carry her away and kiss her, then we'd fall in love.

The rain pelting my face acted as a cleansing for my soul, as I screamed down the widow maker. The first time I dared to take the dirt hill without using the breaks, I didn't even know what a widow was. I had wrecked and skinned my knee so bad, I cried. Now, even knowing what a widow is, I peddled hard for extra speed. There was no fear to be found. It's amazing how things change. Not long ago, Jasmin was as intimidating as the daunting hill. She had to be stolen away on horse back; and raced to safety, where we could fall in love and live happily ever after. Things were so different, and in many ways, things were exactly the same.

I cranked the peddles hard as I pushed up the incline in front of the Primdales' large house. I couldn't help notice Allison's fine ass as she leaned into the trunk of the car for something. Their nanny, or whatever she was, there was speculation she was more, made my heart pound. Her skirt wasn't enough to contain all of her luscious rump as she stretched. I almost hit their mail box as I gawked, thinking I was getting a glimpse of her panties.

My memory took me to the patch of woods just down the road, where I had ducked in once and jerked off. The thrill of that frightful act of perversion rushed up my spine like the trail of water spraying from my rear wheel. I couldn't help wonder what purpose my lust served. It had saved me from a jealous explosion the night before, as the love of my life got drilled by her cousin. But, it had also blinded me to the potential consequences of fucking the mother of my girlfriend.

Is lust my friend, protection from my emotions, or like a destructive drug addiction? I knew I couldn't answer my own questions, as I sailed through the increasing rain. Instead, I pondered all the events of the past weekend. I was in over my head, drowning in my lust and emotions, while grasping at the life preserver of my love.

When I rounded the last corner and headed down the home stretch toward my house, my thoughts revolved around Susan, Jasmin and Cindy. Each had a place in my heart. I could picture myself holding each of them in my arms and loving them. I could burn with passion for any of them. I enjoyed their company equally. Cindy was simple and presented no challenges; yet she was my cousin, and lived hours away. Susan was officially my girlfriend, and I thought she would be for a long time. Until, I saw her in that different light. Jasmin was my troubled secret who had seemed unattainable. Then, she became a thief who stole her way into my heart.

Susan was on the front porch when I rode across the wet grass. I was soaked to my skin and speckled with mud as I dropped my bike against the bush. "You looking for someone?"

"No, I'm just standing at your front door because I have nothing better to do. Those spots all over your face are a nice touch. An improvement actually." Susan giggled as she ducked under my karate chop.

"Hey, I'm cold, can we go inside?" Susan's cute face reminded me that she was still the little girl I loved, before I had seen her acting out the very thing she told me she didn't want to become.

"I'm nasty, I got to take a shower."

"Oh, that sounds like fun! Can I watch?" Susan's tone was playful, but I heard more.

"Sure, but you got to wash my back." I turned my back to show her that the streak of mud went from my ass to my shoulders.

Even though when I said it I had only been joking, Susan stood next to me in the bathroom. I looked at her and felt strange. There was an invisible barrier between us that made me uneasy, like she was a stranger. Yet, at the same time I wanted to wrap my arms around her. I didn't move, I just searched her trying to find a connection to my heart.

"You going to shower with your clothes on, or what?" Susan acted like the previous day had not happened. Like she hadn't seen me lovingly embracing her sister. Like I hadn't seen someone other than me, filling her body.

I undressed like a kid taking off his clothes for the first time in the school locker room. My wet shirt gave way to goosebumps all over my chest and arms. I peeled my jeans off my legs, and they had the same reaction to the cool air.

"Wow, I have never seen your thing like that! It's always standing up when I see it. How does it get so small?" I looked down at my shriveled package and felt even more uncomfortable.

"What did you think, it doesn't stay hard all the time." I didn't want to explain the whole shrinkage thing, I just wanted to get in the warm water.

"Could have fooled me!" Susan smiled like a curious kid as she started to take off her clothes. She really is a little girl, isn't she?

"What are you doing?" I scanned my eyes up and down her body as she stripped.

"Did you think I was going to wash your back from out here?" She finished undressing and neatly piled her clothes on the toilet tank.

It was a very unusual experience entering the shower with another person. The hot water blasted against my face as I looked up into the stream. Susan's body pressed against my dirty back and her hands circled my chest. A spark went through me as her lips kissed the back of my shoulders and neck.

I remained still as the hot water sank deep into my chilled body. My eyes remained closed as Susan's soapy hands moved over my chest, stomach and swelling dick. At that moment, only the size of her breasts on my back and placement of her lips, distinguished her from Jasmin. My body responds to touch, but does my heart know the difference? I wondered if it even mattered as my cock stiffened without my say so.

Susan's hands massaged my shoulders with a gentleness that sent a warm feeling through my body. She touched places between my shoulders that I didn't think had ever been touched before. Her slippery hands tried to get a grip of my tensed ass cheeks. Each time the soapy finger squeezed, my muscle tightened, causing them to slip off. My heart raced when her palm washed over my asshole and under my balls.

"Not so small now." Susan's voice followed her hand sliding down the length of my rod.

The front of her lathered body slid against my back while her one hand worked up and down my hard cock. Her other hand soaped up my balls. It could have been my own hands doing the same thing, but it wouldn't have felt like the most amazing thing I had ever felt. Still, something was missing.

I turned around and faced Susan. She looked beautiful and the missing pieces started to fill in. Her nipples tingled against my body as I pulled her tight. My lips knew the difference between the sisters and sent a message to my heart. My soapy cock pulsed between us while our lips and tongues bypassed all the sad events of the holiday weekend.

I stopped the water and leaned Susan over with her hands braced on the faucets. Her tiny butt smiled at me with suds slowly drooling down to her thighs. My fingers slipped between her cheeks and poked at the brown circle at the center. I let my index finger trace the rim of her puckered little butt hole. Susan sighed softly when I let the tip just slightly dip into the hot flesh. She bent her left leg and raised her foot to the edge of the tub.

Her own hand bumped into mine as we shared the steaming wet slit between her legs. My finger slipped inside her body as hers tossed her swollen nub. Her panting increased as our hands switched places, and I roughly flicked her sensitive clit. My other hand gentle massaged her pussy mound, stomach and soapy tits. I pinched hard at her slippery tit top, but the harder I tried to squeeze it, the more it slid out of my grasp.

A shiver ran up Susan's legs, trembles quaked in her gut and a groan passed her lips as my finger finally grasped her hot bud. I squeezed it hard between two fingers while a third rubbed it hard.

"Jeez, oh fuck me, Joe, fuck me!" The guttural pleas surprised and excited me.

My rock hard dick pushed against Susan's flooded pussy hole as her thin fingers guided it. Before I could gently work my bulbous head through the resistance, Susan shoved her ass back, forcing the full length of my dick inside her smoldering body. She immediately erected her body and screamed with a powerful orgasm. My cock bent and snapped out of her body with a gush of hot juices.

I placed my hand between her dripping lips and smeared her fluid against her convulsing pussy. After her ecstasy subsided, she took my wrist and raised my hand to her mouth. My soaked fingers touched her lips and then slid between them. Susan's tongue rejected the mix of suds and female cum. She spit.

"Don't stop, finish fucking me." Susan pushed her ass back and lifted her leg again as she made her demands. What happened to, "we don't fuck, we make love?" My heart's questions would have to wait, because my head just wanted to finish what was started.

I shoved my cock back into Susan's bent over body. I was totally indifferent towards whose hole I was ramming my dick into, I just wanted to feel my balls let loose and spray their cum. Susan put one foot outside the tub and spread her legs further. With her hands on the hot and cold knobs, she forced her ass backwards in time with my forward thrusts.

Jeremy's huge cock hadn't taken anything away from the tight tunnel inside Susan's hot body. Her pussy walls grabbed at my engorged flesh and made demands on my nuts. I knew the forceful pounding against her body was going to make me get off quickly, but I didn't care, I just wanted to finish. I wanted my needs met.

"Shit, I'm going to cum." I warned my target so when I pulled out, she wouldn't throw herself onto the floor of the tub.

"Oh Joe, keep going. Don't pull out, I want to feel your cum in me. Please!" Susan pushed back against me to keep me in her.

"Are you crazy? You want to end up like your mother?" I hadn't even considered the potential implications of my words, but I knew what my point was.

"Put it in my ass then. I want to feel someone cum in me." Susan's needy voice was that of a spoiled child ready to cry, but also screamed for help. She had obviously broken through a barrier, but it wasn't away from her greatest fears, it was right into the midst of them.

The suction on my head as I extracted it was almost enough to send my load rushing up my dick. I positioned my pulsing head against the soapy hole as Susan's hands pulled her cheeks apart. Without giving further consideration for the act, I thrust forward. My cock bent slightly and then all at once broke through the tight ring. My head popped inside the girl's tiny asshole as the ring closed down tight on my shaft. The butt cavern opened wide for the large intrusion while the outer edge continued to try and keep anything from entering.

Three times I shoved forward, each time a little deeper. The forth time my nuts squeezed themselves and sent a flood of sperm racing for air. My hips inadvertently jerked forward forcing my squirting dick even deeper. My swollen cock base held Susan's hole opened wide while stream after stream of cream flowed into her bowels.

I didn't even care to speak as my slumping flesh spilled from Susan's stretched ass. When I stood her up, tears were in her eyes. I knew if I felt bad about the loveless act of dumping my sperm inside her ass, she must have felt like a piece of shit. I held my words and my tears and turned on the water. We silently washed off the evidence of our actions, but I knew there was no way we could wash long enough to rid ourselves of the feelings.

I tried to help Susan wash, but she resisted my touch like I was a stranger. I stepped out of the shower and started drying off. Susan continued washing her clean body while she sobbed quietly. I wanted to help her, but her reaction in the shower left me wondering how I could do anything. I patently waited for her as the room filled with dense steam.

When Susan's towel wrapped body led the way down the hall to my bedroom, it seemed so grown up. Two lovers covered only in towels after sharing a shower. The events seen in a movie, as two adults share their lives together. Shouldn't I feel grown up and in love?

Susan dried her full head of hair with the large terry cloth towel that she had been covering her body. I stood silently, clutching my towel in front of my chest. I felt modest as it draped the middle section of my naked body. Susan was as gorgeous as any girl I had ever seen. Her breasts had grown so much over the last six months. They now had a swollen base to support the large red nipple sacks. I imagined one day, her large tits would be crowned with big dark circles, the size her current red caps. Her straight legs and mildly curved hips would soon scream sexy, like Jesselyn's. And, her blond pubic hair would turn to a wonderful strawberry color. Will she be a distant, confused young woman who has sex with her family members, while staring blankly into space? I felt sad because I figured I knew the answer to my own questions.

I couldn't help getting a thrill as Susan dried herself. She pulled the towel between her legs, front to back, wiping both cracks at the same time. I felt grown up watching a beautiful girl as she stood naked in my room. I dropped my cover as she stepped into her small white panties. When she wiggled them over her hips and pulled them tight, leaving her pouting pussy well outlined, I smiled. She rarely wore underwear, it looked nice on her.

"Those look nice on you." I spoke softly as I held her shirt out in front of me.

"Yah, I figured I dress like less of a slut today." Susan didn't look up as she reached for her shirt.

I pulled it away and put it behind my back as I stepped close to her. My nude body was just an inch from her. I lifted her chin with my free hand as I spoke. "You're not a slut, and you don't dress like one."

All the glorious energy and joy that normally streaked across the girl's face were gone. I felt like a cowboy stealing the endangered Indian goddess from harm as my arms wrapped around her soft back. I squeezed her even though her stiff frame remained motionless. I breathed in her damp hair as I whispered in her ears, "I still love you. I promise."

I lifted her arms and carefully lowered her shirt down her arms and over her head. She extracted her wet hair from her shirt while I tugged it down her body. When my hands tilted her head back, her eyes were oozing tears. I pressed my lips to her forehead and held them there.

Susan's tears were running down her cheeks when I pulled my lips away from her head. She grabbed her pants and pulled them up both legs at the same time, as she sat on the edge of my bed. I threw on a pair of jeans while Susan tugged her belt loops side to side and got her lovely flesh completely covered. I pulled on a sweatshirt just in time to help Susan to her feet. She seemed like she just wanted to leave, but I stood in front of her. I had seen her upset, crying and even sobbing wildly before, but I had never seen her like this.

Her arms lightly held my waist as my arms hugged her with all my might. "Susan, what is it? Please don't keep anything from me, we agreed that no matter what we wouldn't let anything affect us."

Susan's grip tightened slightly, "I know. I need to, I just can't do it now. I need time, Joe. Can you give me time?"

Susan didn't wait for an answer. She broke off the hug and looked up sobbing. "I'll talk to you later. I got to go."

I would have stopped the girl I knew and forced her to tell me what was wrong, but the girl bolting from my room was a complete stranger. I listened for the door slamming, and I sat on my bed holding my head between my hands. Was it me? I thought about her attitude earlier in the day. It had been down, but not sedated. Jasmin's disposition had been a greater concern for me then. What happened at the airport? I couldn't just sit there and wait. I headed for the phone.

"Jasmin, are you okay? Is Susan there? Is she okay? What happened at the airport? Did I do something wrong?" I sucked in some air, ready to ask more questions.

"Joe! Take it easy. One thing at a time. I'll be there in a minute." Jasmin hung up without waiting for a reply from me.

I stood with my head hanging out the door watching for Jasmin. Within a few seconds, I saw her giant red umbrella cutting through the southern downpour.

"Phew, that's a gully washer." Jasmin climbed the steps quickly, shook her umbrella and closed it. "Don't need any more bad luck." She leaned it against the wall and stepped inside the house.

I gave her a good look up and down. The top of her head was covered with a strange flat, plaid colored hat. It had a tiny bill that snapped to the front flap of material. It was a cross between a hippie, artist and pimp hat, yet it was sexy on the girl's head. The weather had given her long blond hair a crazy crumpled look. Her legs were covered with black spandex looking material and her thick wool sweater stretched all the way down over her ass.

I was really too upset to care what she was wearing, but she was so uncharacteristically dressed that I couldn't help say something. "Are those the new clothes you got Friday? Um, you look nice."

"Yes, thank you." Jasmin walked past me and grabbed my arm as she headed towards the living room.

It was a little eerie when I looked across at her from the ottoman. She sat exactly where Susan had sat on two previous occasions while we talked about serious stuff. Jasmin compounded the strange feeling when she took both of my hands in hers and supported them on her knees. Her beautiful blue eyes were bloodshot like someone who drank all night or had been crying for a long time?

"Ja, Joe, Jasmin." A deeply serious look set in Jasmin's eyes when we tried to talk at the same time.

I yielded to her need to talk first. I only had questions anyway. "Joe, I'm sorry about earlier."

I moved next to Jasmin and put my arm around her as tears bigger than the raindrops cascaded down onto her black leg socks. I forced my face against hers as my own tears started flowing. An atmosphere of doom filled the room and my heart like a great fog. I had seen my troubled friend crumble before under the massive weight of her destructive past, but this seemed worse. I was deeply pained by her obvious state of hopelessness, and terrified in anticipation of her words, if she was even able to speak. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear about the events that had finally completely broken the fragile girl. I wondered if they were the same events that sent Susan into her shell. I cried at the thought that it could have been the very events I had participated in.

Jasmin's arm moved behind my back and clung to my waist as both of our tears soaked her leg. When we turned to face each other, I could only look at her pain for a second. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against hers. With my hands on the back of her head, I held our heads together.

"Jasmin." I drew in a deep breath and pulled her wet face across mine. Her face tucked against my neck. Our mixed tears on my face burned my skin like a harmful acid as I tried to say something that would stop her sobbing. "It's alright. It's going to be alright. I, I love, I really love you."

The girl's body jerked each time she tried to suck in some air. Her tears and snot now soaked my shoulder as her weak arms squeezed me. "Jasmin, was it me, did I do something?"

My question turned Jasmin's noisy emotional breakdown into a silent stream of tears that lacked even a break for oxygen. I decided to wait for her to speak for fear my next words might cause her to die. I gently rubbed her back hoping she would breathe soon.

One giant gasp of air rushed out of her lungs, and then she made a horrible sound snuffing her snot. "No, damn it, no. Not you. I love you."

More air was gasped in between words. "You, you help me. You do nothing but care for me."

"Jasmin, I love you. That's what people do when they love." Jasmin cracked again before I finished speaking.

She grabbed at my back and hit me several times. "I know that. I want to know, believe. I want to let you love me. I'm scared."

I held her until my arms hurt and her tears ran out. I was still terrified of what was coming, but I knew I couldn't abandon my love. My heart knew I loved them both, but only in my imagination could I save them from the bad gang leader. I could love them both, but I couldn't be in love with both.

"Joe, it's my father. That's why Susan couldn't talk to you. He's out again. My mother threw him out again." Jasmin's undeserved shame forced her eyes downward.

"Jasmin, what happened, was it his sister? Did he break his promise?" There wouldn't have been any surprise if it was his sister, I just wondered if Jesselyn had been caught with her uncle.

"Joe, he broke his fuckin' promise. My mother is pregnant and the shithead couldn't act like a father." Jasmin found a few more tears, but mostly she just gasped for air and tried to hold herself together.

"It's okay baby, I'll be here for you. No matter what, I'll be here for you. It's going to be alright." I removed her hat and stroked her wild hair.

"It's not Joe, it's never going to be right. We're all fucked up and we'll never be okay! I can't, I don't even know if I want to be. If it wasn't for your stupid love, I wouldn't even know something was wrong. I was broken and I didn't even know it. How the fuck will it ever be right, Joe? Tell me, please tell me."

I hadn't prayed for a long time, but I knew I needed help beyond, way beyond my own ability. The most wonderful, funny, beautiful girl I knew had almost killed me the day before with her troubles. This was ten thousand times worse. God help her. Help me, please!

After begging for help, I spoke the only words that came to my mind. "Anyone can change, you don't have to stay the way you are. I'll love you, even if you hate me."

"Joe, maybe you can help me if you love me, but I can't make any promises. Look what we do. Susan promised, my dad promised. How come he couldn't keep his promise? How could he fuck his own daughter? How, how the fuck could he do that?"

My heart stopped at Jasmin's words. My brain circled them around my skull trying to comprehend what I didn't want to know. "Mother fucker! No, please tell me he didn't do that to you!" My heart restarted and anger like I never knew soared through my body.

"Not me!" Jasmin's sobbing prevented her from continuing. My heart stopped again and my tears burst like a river from my eyes. I pictured Susan's depraved acts in a new light as I tried to not scream.

"His, his daughter Joe. Jesselyn, he did it with Jesselyn." Jasmin took short fast breaths like she was hyperventilating while I tried to understand.

I saw their faces side by side in my mind. Sisters, they are sisters. "Jesselyn is Susan's sister?" Susan was with her brother, not cousin. Is that worse?

"Di, did, didn't Susie tell you?" Jasmin's look of surprise and confusion was piled on top of emotionally distraught.

"No, she didn't tell me. Is she okay? Is Jesselyn alright?"

Jasmin's lips kissed my cheek and then my lips. She grabbed me tight around the neck and shoved her tongue in my mouth. Our kiss was not passionate like it would have normally been, but it was way more than I expected.

Jasmin pulled away, still holding my face. "I'm sorry, it helps when you kiss me. I normally act like a slut when I'm hurting, but I want to change. I'm scared Joe. The reason I like girls is because they don't hurt me. But, you don't hurt me. I'm still scared. I want to let you love me, but I need time. Can you give me time?"

"Whatever you need Jasmin. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." My own promise scared me.

"Jasmin, my parents are going to be home soon. I don't care if you stay, I just don't want you to have to be uncomfortable. Just say it's a boyfriend who broke your heart and that's why you are upset."

"Thanks Joe, but I got to go soon. My mom is upset, I need to be there for her. Susie too." Jasmin tried to put on her strong face, but it didn't fool me. She had used Susan's little kid name for the second time.

"Jasmin, what are we going to do about Susan? She was, she seems. Um,..."

"Joe, I don't know what happened over here before, and I don't want to. But, last night. I can't tell you for sure what is going to happen, but I know what I did when I was her age. I'm sorry Joe. I tried to help her, or maybe I made her worse. I didn't want to see her go through what I went through, but she may have to find out for herself." Jasmin's pain for her sister was as real on her face as it was in my heart, but she forced herself to continue.

"Joe, she might break your heart. She might change and act in ways you hate, but you got to still love her. Can you do that?"

Before I could make another promise, Jasmin plunged further into herself. "Joe, if it wasn't for you, I would have destroyed my life here just like before. I was on the brink of giving up, but you made me feel special and cared for. You are the first person who I have ever loved. You gave me hope. I don't know what will happen with us, but you help me." Jasmin's painful confession squeezed a few more tears from her red eyes.

"I'll do anything for you. Anything!" I made the first promise I could believe in and trust myself with.

"I better get home. I'd rather not see your parents like this." Jasmin wobbled as she stood up.

I stood in front of her, "You look very nice. Thanks for dressing up for me." I wrapped my arms around her itchy wool body. I felt my heart pound with a new life and purpose.

Our salty lips embraced and sealed my promise. "I'll see you at school tomorrow. Are you going to school tomorrow? Maybe you should stay home." I wanted to save her and carry her away to a safe place.

The rain had stopped by the time Jasmin headed back to her broken home. I put my two wheeled escape machine behind the house where it belonged. My parents would be proud of me.

Later that night I got up from my TV trance and head towards my room. At the last minute, I turned back and gave my mom that kiss and hug I held back earlier. "I love you, good night." I left her with her shocked face staring at my dad.

Sleep was something that the problems of the whole world couldn't keep me from. I flopped on my bed and passed out from my emotional stupor.


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Comments 197
  • darkcloud75
    12.03.2010 14:01
    this is the best possible ending u could have its sad you had to cut it short i know u didn't want maybe one day you will continue writing this stories

    Answer 0

  • Fister
    25.03.2010 04:12
    Although I'm saddened for the Davis Women, I can't help but think Mr. Davis did himself in. If he had the least bit of dignity, he wouldn,t have done what he did. It was selfish of him to do what he did and showed that his word coudn't be trusted. I also feel for Aunt Jane, Jesselyn and Jeremy. They all counted on him and he let them down too. My only cocern is if If Chris, Jasmin and Susan will be able to adjust. Except for Susan, who needs her family (more than her years know), Jasmin and Chris are going to be changing the Guard so to speak (both are at the time of change in their lives). It is going to be difficult for them to adjust; not only to the natural things, but also to new people in their lives. jim.

    Answer 0

  • Fister
    26.03.2010 00:38
    If I had the tenacity you write with, I would have liked to take over and continue this story, but I'm afraid I'd write something that one of your readers would find uncharacteristic of your writing and fail you. I have written long and continuing stories before, but not with the same feeling you do. Mine was on a more humorous key and less on emotions. I also write on a supersensation type of story. I look forward to seeing more of your writing so maybe I can learn your secret. jim

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  • darkcloud75
    28.03.2010 19:22
    simply amazing

    Answer 0

  • C_frommn
    01.04.2010 01:29
    Love the Story. But now that You've gone this far.
    Why not follow-up on how Things Progressed after School.
    into Adulhood and Pregnancy's

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  • Anony+Mouse
    03.04.2010 19:26
    Sorry to see this story end. I really enjoyed reading it. You touched on a couple of similar situations that I enjoyed when I was Joe's age so I felt very much in involed in your story. It brought back some very pleasant memories from my youth. Your story showed me how those events had a deep and long reaching effect on the rest of my life. Thanks, I really appriciate your writing.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.04.2010 20:23
    FANTASTIC! I loved the plot. It was very descriptive and well written. I will read ALL of your stories. And I would love to read more of this story. I have read many stories on here. It ranks in the top two. And I don't know in what order. Thanks for the tears & laughter

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  • Anonymous+reader
    20.04.2010 18:07
    you are an amazing writer. its such a shame you had to finish here. hopefully, you will come back to it. just wanted to say, thanks for the thrills and tears i believe this story deserves :) daniel edwards, luton

    Answer 0

  • READER
    READER 500
    28.04.2010 08:38
    i have read so many stories in this website and this is the first ever story i ever commented on. your story brings such emotions of grief and joy and has made the reader feel very involved in the story. it's a really fanstatic piece of art. it is very much appreciated!

    Answer 0

  • ALEX
    29.04.2010 06:14
    This is the one and only story that i will never ever forget.....

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.05.2010 01:43
    Great work, Keep it up!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.05.2010 18:38
    Could u put another part up how everything turned out as they got older cause so much could stillnhappen

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.05.2010 02:54
    Wow!! an amazing romance story with a great plot, lots of twists, and throat lumping events. I have never been so interested in a story like this. I actually had to force myself not to skip a few paragraphs, which I sometimes failed at, because I had raging emotions over what our protaganist was expierincing in a very well depicted first person view. I hope and pray you right more

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  • Anonymous+reader
    18.05.2010 03:47
    Wow!! an amazing romance story with a great plot, lots of twists, and throat lumping events. I have never been so interested in a story like this. I actually had to force myself not to skip a few paragraphs, which I sometimes failed at, because I had raging emotions over what our protaganist was expierincing in a very well depicted first person view. I hope and pray you right more

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.05.2010 21:08
    I wish this wasn't the last ch its a great series can't wait for more of your work

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.05.2010 02:36
    OMg it was so amazing, my most memorable part was when Susan fucked Jeremy . My heart sank for Joe, truly inspired.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.05.2010 16:28
    congratulations on an excellent piece of work from me too. i agree with many of the other comments, and feel moved to add a response for the first ever time, too. Brilliant emotional manipulation!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.06.2010 09:14
    it was just really gr8 story u wrote...

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.06.2010 01:55
    i loved this storie because you put so much passion in each character and had also put a carve ball or two though out the series that kept me on my toes and guessing were it was going next thank you for that and hope your writeing again soon

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  • Anonymous+reader
    29.06.2010 22:49
    Just like other readers have said This was an excellent peice of work. Congratulations you were the only writer that had actually inspired me to comment. This was the greatest story i have read on this website, Maybe if you have time you should write up one last ch about how they grew up to live their lives in present date. And again Great job on the series was a pleasure reading it.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    07.07.2010 19:26
    The best story I have ever read! I couldn't stop after I started!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.07.2010 05:49
    I couldnt stop reading ur story.I read all 18 chapters in one night.Fantastic story...thank you

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  • Anonymous+reader
    10.07.2010 04:19
    This was an amazing story. I was glued to it from the start and I sincerely hope you write some more.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.07.2010 20:55
    Wow, i was truly sucked into the story line and i couldn't stop reading. This could easily make a novel, i just wish this wasn't the end!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.07.2010 14:17
    this is one of the best stories i have read i hope this is not the end even though u wrote as the end chapter

    Answer 0

  • anonymous
    14.07.2010 19:26
    I started this out of a need for sexual arousal, but finished it with tears in my eyes. I'm so glad I read it.

    Answer 0

  • thesdajoy
    16.07.2010 13:41
    i must admit. joe and the whole situation has put my mind in a right spin.
    this is. most likely. the best story i have ever read, sexual or nonsexual included.
    i think i have never seen emotions and situations run that high or tight ever before. i consider myself a scholar. but the write r of this story have put writers of the past to shame for their idolatry.
    all i can say is. i wish this story would never end. it raises and answers so many questions that i can not begin to describe it.
    the main character. struck a special cord since i can definitely relate to him. good job. and a heartfelt Bravo, coming from Denmark.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.07.2010 19:42
    I am glad it was Jesselyn instead of Susan. I was so afraid it would be Susan that I was starting to get very upset or even pissed myself that he would do that Susan. When it ended up Jesselyn, it was a real shocker to me even thow I remember them spying on her and him in the backyard. I'm not really a reading person but you have me soo hooked that I cant hardly stop reading for anything.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.07.2010 22:23
    I LOVE that last line about him "having" sisters. lol

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  • Anonymous+reader
    21.07.2010 02:24
    I can honestly say this story made me cry. If this story was a book i'd read it every day. I love the ending and everything about the whole story. I can only wish you will write more.

    Much love,
    From Texas

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  • Anonymous+reader
    21.07.2010 02:34
    I dont really know what to say..... I think I cryed most of the way thru this with them being just ...ripped... apart and there basiclly being no chance of them seeing eachother again. Then when it came to Susan's attempt on her life............... reminded me of me and MY first love who never wanted me at all. I actually did the same thing about that age. Thankfully mine failed to because I now may actually have one who will love me back. We are having to hide ours right now as well. She is 30s and I am 20s but we each have issues to work out first.... Anyways, back to the story... I LOVE the way you bring them all back together and kept Susan SAFE. I have almost come to love her myself just thru your stories. I am sad that you are ending it here but maybe you when you start back writing again, you pick up from here and start a new series with Joe, Susan, and Jasmin. The baby... I will leave to you but I think it would be toooo "messed up." Thank you again

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.07.2010 03:47
    Omfg I cummed every part about jasmin!!! She's so sexy love the story

    Answer 0

  • From+the+dirty+south
    25.07.2010 22:16
    I was mesmerized by this story. I even lost a whole nights sleep just reading this. You should definitely continue the story either keep writing this story or make another one with Joe and the girls. The only thing I would say as contsructive critcism for this is to have someone edit your stories before you post them. Your grammar was great. I think you missed alot of errors in the stories. Idk how you wrote it but it looks like you rushed through it lol. There's just basic errors like putting the same word twice or adding a word that shouldn't have been in the sentence lol. Great story tho. Just my opinion

    Answer 0

  • From+the+dirty+south
    26.07.2010 18:28
    I was mesmerized by this story. I even lost a whole nights sleep just reading this. You should definitely continue the story either keep writing this story or make another one with Joe and the girls. The only thing I would say as contsructive critcism for this is to have someone edit your stories before you post them. Your grammar was great. I think you missed alot of errors in the stories. Idk how you wrote it but it looks like you rushed through it lol. There's just basic errors like putting the same word twice or adding a word that shouldn't have been in the sentence lol. Great story tho. Just my opinion

    Answer 0

  • jamil
    30.07.2010 00:41
    horse hote girl



    xix

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.08.2010 20:49
    THE END? THE END? THE END? I will hunt you down. I will fuck you up. The end? Don't do this to me

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.08.2010 19:23
    Great story. I couldn't stop reading it.

    I hopu you will write more

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  • anonymous+reader
    20.08.2010 19:53
    wow! I've never bothered with commenting a story no matter how good it was, but this one...WOW! I Really hated some parts of the story but you're a great writer, getting me all emotional over your work. The part in an earlier chapter where Jeremy fucked Susan could have been left out. It made me think so much less of her. Makes me sick of myself for saying it but it honestly made me nauseous. I keep trying to convince myself that these are just fictional characters but I'm still having problems doing so. Please, I want to hear more about Joe, Susan, Jasmin and Chris!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.08.2010 19:33
    OMFG this has been one of the best stories i have read... but please tell me ur gonna come up with a sequel. this story is too good to end like this

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  • Anonymous+reader
    23.08.2010 19:20
    You really do get better and better as the story goes on.
    O'Henry could be jealous of your talent.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.08.2010 18:50
    Please dude you need to do more

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    31.08.2010 18:43
    come on dude you cant end it like this!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.09.2010 18:22
    We need more! I have never gone through the effort of reading any sex story that took too long to get to the "good part." But with these, I actually skimmed the sex scenes just to get to the story! We need more! There has to be more!

    Answer 0

  • Hardin+Reddy
    03.09.2010 07:56
    You have an exceptional skill as a writer, something rarely found.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.09.2010 06:12
    super story, need a few more chapters, took me a while to read, but it was best story i have read so far, i would like to no what susan did to drive her over the edge, who was the father , what life was like after the girls returned, cant leave it this way so many questions,

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.09.2010 10:02
    write a novel
    you could make millions

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.09.2010 06:35
    Dude u gotta keep going make this whole thing part one of a antology of books. This has been the best story I ever read. I couldnt stop reading. Will u please make it go on?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.11.2010 09:50
    Very good series. I really liked it. It was so touching. The story was so descriptive that i felt like i was in the story the whole time. I am sad that it was the ending but i hope you'll continue one day.

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  • anonymous+reader
    01.11.2010 09:52
    Great story. I really liked it. It was so touching. The story was so descriptive that i felt like i was in the story the whole time. I am sad that it was the ending but i hope you'll continue one day.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.11.2010 09:52
    Great story. I really liked it. It was so touching. The story was so descriptive that i felt like i was in the story the whole time. I am sad that it was the ending but i hope you'll continue one day.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.11.2010 09:52
    Great story. I really liked it. It was so touching. The story was so descriptive that i felt like i was in the story the whole time. I am sad that it was the ending but i hope you'll continue one day.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.11.2010 09:54
    Very good series. I really liked it. It was so touching. The story was so descriptive that i felt like i was in the story the whole time. I am sad that it was the ending but i hope you'll continue one day.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.11.2010 09:55
    Very good series. I really liked it. It was so touching. The story was so descriptive that i felt like i was in the story the whole time. I am sad that it was the ending but i hope you'll continue one day.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    01.11.2010 12:38
    Very good series. I really liked it. It was so touching. The story was so descriptive that i felt like i was in the story the whole time. I am sad that it was the ending but i hope you'll continue one day.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.11.2010 08:11
    Pls don't stop now. I am so curious to know what happend with Joe after Jasmin and Susan came back. Also, I can't wait untill Chris will give berth

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.11.2010 15:54
    Very good series, I have read some of the other long series but have found very few that are as good or better than this one. I hope you continue to add more to this series.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    04.11.2010 15:54
    Very good series, I have read some of the other long series but have found very few that are as good or better than this one. I hope you continue to add more to this series.

    Answer 0

  • nivep
    06.11.2010 11:20
    Pls. don't stop your story now that Jasmin and Susan came back. I am very curious to know how their relationship with Joe will continue. Also, it will become very exciting when Chris will give birth

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.11.2010 21:40
    Good series, great ending. Sad to see it go but like all things, they have to have an end.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.11.2010 19:08
    It was great to see this story develop for the first instalment to the last and to see your writing ability and style get better and better. This is a magnificent series and you are a brilliant writer thank you bringing this story to life.

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  • anonymous+reader
    17.11.2010 19:08
    It was great to see this story develop for the first instalment to the last and to see your writing ability and style get better and better. This is a magnificent series and you are a brilliant writer thank you bringing this story to life.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.11.2010 19:09
    It was great to see this story develop for the first instalment to the last and to see your writing ability and style get better and better. This is a magnificent series and you are a brilliant writer thank you bringing this story to life.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.11.2010 20:18
    It was great to see this story develop for the first instalment to the last and to see your writing ability and style get better and better. This is a magnificent series and you are a brilliant writer thank you bringing this story to life.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    04.12.2010 07:19
    i have never read a better story, fantastic

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    04.12.2010 07:19
    i have never read a better story, fantastic

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.12.2010 02:56
    i have never read a better story, fantastic

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.12.2010 02:57
    i have never read a better story, fantastic

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.12.2010 04:56
    this whole story needs to be published

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  • anonymous+reader
    15.12.2010 06:32
    I think at this point there is only one word you could use to discribe this story and I think everyone would agree (Or at least I hope so). "MORE".

    I am usually not a big reader, but I just couldnt stop reading. I am so sad (truely) that this story ended. I long for more and more. You are very talented and I mean that with all my fiber of being. It would be ashame for you not to continue to share your obvious talent.

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  • anonymous+reader
    23.12.2010 08:05
    One of the best romance stories I've ever read on this sit. Keep up the good. Work.~

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.12.2010 08:05
    One of the best romance stories I've ever read on this sit. Keep up the good. Work.~

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.12.2010 08:05
    One of the best romance stories I've ever read on this sit. Keep up the good. Work.~

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.12.2010 13:46
    It really doesn't have to be the end... does it?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.12.2010 13:46
    It really doesn't have to be the end... does it?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.12.2010 13:46
    It really doesn't have to be the end... does it?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.12.2010 13:46
    It really doesn't have to be the end... does it?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    31.12.2010 04:29
    That was honestly the best series of stories i've ever read. I do think that he shuldv stayed with jasmin but either way it was all great

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  • anonymous+reader
    31.12.2010 04:29
    That was honestly the best series of stories i've ever read. I do think that he shuldv stayed with jasmin but either way it was all great

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2011 14:45
    ITS TOO GOOD TOLD TO BE TRUE ITS A FAKE STORY

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.03.2011 14:19
    VG telling of a moving story. Like Joe, I fell in love with Jasmin, Susan, broken Angels
    and even Chris.
    Valued use of demon analogy. Encouraged me to face a demon of my own.
    True stories don't always turn out the way we would like and I wonder
    If Joe ends up with either of them. Can you tell us?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.03.2011 22:14
    What a crappy ending to a great story. That life though isn't it.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    31.03.2011 14:59
    who is the father of the baby? joe or mr davis?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.04.2011 19:05
    pl wright anather part

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.04.2011 10:32
    I read all of the stories in this series. I loved everyone. I cried with Joe as Susan and jasmin were sending him letters. I felt his pain as he wanted to know of he was the father. This was without a single doubt in my mind the best series I have ever read. On this sight and anywhere. This story could keep going, I would love to see it with atleast 5 more chapters, maybe to end things a little more smoothly, but it ended in a way that makes you think about what happened, and jasmin saying we can share, that made me so happy. I felt like I was Joe in this story, I cried and laughed so many times. Please, continue this story, you have such a talent, and for what this story is, its very touching to me. Thanks so much for the great story.

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.04.2011 12:14
    I read all of the stories in this series. I loved everyone. I cried with Joe as Susan and jasmin were sending him letters. I felt his pain as he wanted to know of he was the father. This was without a single doubt in my mind the best series I have ever read. On this sight and anywhere. This story could keep going, I would love to see it with atleast 5 more chapters, maybe to end things a little more smoothly, but it ended in a way that makes you think about what happened, and jasmin saying we can share, that made me so happy. I felt like I was Joe in this story, I cried and laughed so many times. Please, continue this story, you have such a talent, and for what this story is, its very touching to me. Thanks so much for the great story.

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  • anonymous+reader
    20.05.2011 14:44
    read this seriesfrom yesterday evening until well past midnight, and i cant get it out of my head! I would love for the author to come back on the site and write one more part to it!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.05.2011 08:54
    this storie kept getting better with evry chapter youre in my top 4 best writers

    mbos14

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2011 19:15
    Ha! They both get him!

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2011 19:15
    Ha! They both get him!

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.08.2011 07:11
    Best story I read top class author I wish he couls make 1 more part to make it 20 chapters

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  • anonymous+reader
    11.01.2012 06:52
    sir: this series reminded me of when i read stephens kings ''The Green Mile'' ho tears flowed at the exicution. you story was better, i could put myself in Joe's place. thank you i more then pleasure my mind it pleasured my heart.

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  • Ed+Itor
    15.01.2012 23:25
    It has been 2 years now since bistander left us. This series is a testament of good writing techniques and its ending, like life is never what we expect or hope for.
    May the authour be having the happy ending that he looked for himself.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.04.2012 12:23
    Some one else should continue it

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.04.2012 23:48
    That was the greatest story I've ever read.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.04.2012 21:35
    this is one of the best stories on here.. when they would cry i would feel their pain in my heart as well.. i was so sad to see this finished i wish it would go on... or at least make another chapter to let us know how they ended up resolving their issues... I have been reading stories on here for about 8 years and this is the first story i have ever commented on... please make a comback chapter for this... and let everyone know how they grew up together what else happened between cindy and joe... was chris' baby his, did joe, jasmine, and susan get married, if so how.. did they ever have kids.. i mean come on please let us know how it ends... this is not an ending for me or anyone else im sure... there are so many unanswerd questions

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.05.2012 23:54
    I think there should be a new series after thay get home from the airport there's just too many unanswered questions?

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.05.2012 16:20
    This was one of the best and well written stories that I have ever read. You are truly a very talented writer. You developed each character's personality and thoroughly integrated them into the relationships that were formed. Your understanding of youth and hormones was excellent. I could go on and on at how this story was one that you just couldn't put down. My only regret was the way it ended. There seemed like there was so much more to the story that had yet to be told. I hope you were serious about adding to it at some point in the future. It anxiously look forward to the continuation as well as any of your future writing endeavors.

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.09.2012 19:57
    R.I.P BiStander your stories were amazing and you shall be missed..

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.11.2012 00:54
    loved the story!! but i was so hoping for him to marry jasmin. (im being choosey) But i loved it an loved it some more

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.03.2013 21:25
    I laughed, I cried and had to change my knickers a few times.
    Your story moved me. I wasn't expecting such depth from this site.
    You have set the bench mark for which I will judge every story.
    I'm not sure if should thank you.lol

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    31.03.2013 22:53
    this shouldnt be the end. youshould make an epilouge

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.06.2013 21:20
    I've read this series 3 times and cried every time. You are a very powerful author and need to at least give it a little bit more closure. I also would love it if you would perhaps consider writing more stories because you truly have a gift.

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.06.2013 23:38
    Terrible ending... You need to give more closure. Way more. There than that it was a good story. It would have been amazing, but I get very upset when it comes to girls cheating on guys, idk why that way and not the other, probably cause I'm a guy, but either way I didn't like Susan letting Jeremy fuck her. It just killed the story for me. Other than that And the "ending" I loved it. Thanks

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.06.2013 23:39
    Other* |
    /

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.06.2013 23:40
    That was supposed to be an arrow pointing downward *facepalm*

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.07.2013 09:06
    s story is best i've read. I have so much question that have to answered, some of the questions are what Susan do that made her tryed to kill herself,who does Joe chooses,is the bady his or not,and so much more. I hope one day bistander comes back to answer them or for someone to write a chapter 20 to let us know how they think it should of end. Bistander has a talent that should shared with the world as i read this series over n over i put myself in joe's place it made me cry, laugh,happy and sad all throughout the story I love everything except the ending it is what upsets me the most because a story like this can't end and i know that the others who have read this feel some wat the same

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.07.2013 09:07
    s story is best i've read. I have so much question that have to answered, some of the questions are what Susan do that made her tryed to kill herself,who does Joe chooses,is the bady his or not,and so much more. I hope one day bistander comes back to answer them or for someone to write a chapter 20 to let us know how they think it should of end. Bistander has a talent that should shared with the world as i read this series over n over i put myself in joe's place it made me cry, laugh,happy and sad all throughout the story I love everything except the ending it is what upsets me the most because a story like this can't end and i know that the others who have read this feel some wat the same

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  • anonymous+reader
    10.08.2013 08:42
    The story was great. The ending was great. If he chose one girl or the other it would have been as good. I would have liked more detail and to hear from Susan what she did with the Italian girl and detail of who they fucked. Great story

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.08.2013 04:17
    Continue, I'd have picked Jasmin

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  • anonymous+reader
    12.09.2013 06:01
    GREAT story the ending left so many questions unanswered, Joe should have ended up with Jasmin especially after Susan let jeremy screw her and need to know who the baby's father is. I have no hate for the story or the author I really enjoyed the read just feel like I'm left with a cliff hanger

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.09.2013 15:32
    GREAT story the ending left so many questions unanswered, Joe should have ended up with Jasmin especially after Susan let jeremy screw her and need to know who the baby's father is. I have no hate for the story or the author I really enjoyed the read just feel like I'm left with a cliff hanger

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.09.2013 09:47
    So is Joe a dad now to jasmine's baby sister

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  • Anonymous+reader
    05.01.2014 09:41
    Absolutely fantastic story. I've not even read the other chapters yet.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    07.01.2014 09:26
    beautiful....you can leave it there or continue ...as you wish but you made me cry. well done and thank you.........george

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  • Anonymous+reader
    13.01.2014 05:38
    Nice story, good ending.

    I think that everything that needed to be said to end this series was said with the "We can share!" line. Good stuff!!

    Answer 0

  • wlmaster75
    16.02.2014 13:30
    I hope you realize its 4 am and I just finished

    THANK YOU

    Answer 0

  • oscar97
    26.02.2014 22:06
    This has got to be some of the best set of stories I've read in a long time, thanks for sharing and I'm sure a lot of people wish they were you...

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.04.2014 10:01
    I loved it

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  • Anonymous+reader
    28.04.2014 03:02
    You are the greatest writer ever!!. Don't get me wrong I loved the ending but I would to see where things would go from there. You made a great story, would love too see more. Jason

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  • Anonymous+reader
    05.05.2014 07:38
    i would pay good money to read 5-10 more chapters of this..!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    13.05.2014 12:50
    Noooooooooo!!! I loved this story so much, i can't bear to see it end yet! There are so many questions that need to be answered!!! Please, tell us you'll write a sequel to tell us who the father is, and what happens between Cindy and Joe!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.05.2014 22:39
    Beautiful! I know everyone wants a sequel but would that spoil it? Very talented writer. I assume you are a professional. Well done!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    14.06.2014 05:30
    I wish this story would continue, I couldn't put it down. I loved the characters and want more.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    14.07.2014 00:28
    there right this is a great story i hope you can continue this story i want to know what happens next

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  • Anonymous+reader
    30.07.2014 02:23
    excellent, please continue.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    31.07.2014 04:03
    Please continue with this story. You can't keep us hanging.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.08.2014 01:31
    its so good

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  • Anonymous+reader
    11.08.2014 08:33
    More please

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.08.2014 21:07
    I loved the characters and their emotional battles. Great story!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.10.2014 20:41
    This is it.... I need more.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.10.2014 11:14
    Interesting ending, So they both ended up with you? Or you ended up with neither down the road? Was the baby yours?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.10.2014 17:06
    Great story but terrible ending

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.10.2014 02:47
    >>> is getting longer than Lord of the Rings trilogy...........please write something else.....

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  • Anonymous+reader
    23.10.2014 07:00
    This is not a satisfying ending. The story within itself is not only able to fulfill all my lust, but it also demands more. It's like a hidden gem I came across that I'd never be able to put down. This story needs more to it, and I'm sorry if that sounds too much to ask. I've read each chapter without missing a single line, but every fiber of my being still contemplates for more ;3;

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.10.2014 05:29
    Its like a ending you might see in a anime, you know that theres plenty more questions but you also know it will workout positively and your satisfied with a short yet sweet ending

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.11.2014 20:32
    Grait man . but i hope ther will be more. and joe have more of Mis davis body.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.11.2014 05:37
    25, 2010 10:46 am Hi, Yumna!I'm glad your hopes and aspirations to work with Jasmin falliny paid off! I saw your photos on her blog and decided to come over and pay you a visit. I love your work and wish you all the best in everything you do. I can only hope that you, Jas, and Christian collab again!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    29.11.2014 08:01
    I wonder, does Joe join the family, Chris find a job, is it a 3some, I know she said it couldn't happen again but... I want them to be all together, with baby makes? And what about jesselynn and Jeremy?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.01.2015 21:38
    Great story I hope you change your mind and continue

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  • Anonymous+reader
    04.02.2015 10:46
    Bistander, you've written a remarkable story. The saddest part is that it hasn't continued. I know it's been a long time since you ended it, but I still would like to know where life took Joe, Susan, Jasmin, Chris, Jesselyn and Jeremy. I realize their journey was predominately in you imagination, but it was still an incredible journey.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.06.2015 17:19
    You've done it again! Yet another twist. Past 1am and I can't stop reaching for the next chapter.
    Excellent story: Well done.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.06.2015 18:17
    Looks like only your dedicated readers are still commenting. Count me in.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.06.2015 00:34
    Well, you've done it. Pulled a satisfactory ending out of nowhere!
    Great to see raw sexual desire turned into something more meaningful, but still retaining that raw energy.
    Well done, please return to write another epic one day.

    Answer 0

  • morrison44
    27.08.2015 05:12
    I was totally drawn in! Amazing story. I hope you'll continue the story even though its been a while since you finished it. The characters you've created have so much depth. I agree with the other comments. I want to see how the threesome works it out. I love the idea of polyamory. Is Cindy in the future also?

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  • Anonymous+reader
    04.12.2015 06:46
    Best series I have read yet hope to read a lot more

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.02.2016 06:33
    So much crying. I thought this story would be more fun. Sad :(

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.02.2016 06:36
    Can't you providr any pictures?

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  • Anonymous+reader
    08.02.2016 07:51
    Bummed me when Sue fucked Jeremy, knew she was sliding toward slut status. Glad they got back as a threesome. Would love to know more. Did they live happily ever after? Read it in one night, stayed up too late. How slutty did Sue get at school? Full on sucking, fucking, rimming and water sports with all comers by the urinals in the boys room? How did mom find out? Sad the series ended. How about a fictional series with these folks. Cindy is about to do a gangbang because she can't find try love so Jasmine convinces her to come back and Joe gives her her present. Jesselyn comes back and Joe makes love to her. Stacy is about to become a glory hole worker because guys keep letting her down so Jasmine gets Joe to save her with his special brand of loving. They bring Jeremy back to help Joe and all the girls get double teamed to help satisfy the slut side of each girl. And if one of the girls needs more Joe drafts his virgin friends who proceed to have the time of their lives.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.02.2016 06:12
    Three beautiful teenage girls, high libido, highly orgasmic, flooded with adolescent hormones in a family where sex with family members is a value, where swallowing daddy's cum is an honor and a treat and the primary family recreational activity is swinging with lots of strangers. These girls deserve a medal for not being crazier and sluttier than they are. Joe might be the only one who can point that out. Jeremy is a log (substitute appropriate penis synonym here) but he was brought up that way - the male pleasures himself with all the females and honors them with his mighty member and magnificent ejaculations into their pussies and mouths. He also appears to care for his sisters deeply, and behaving better than both teenage boy urges and his upbringing would suggest. Please bring them all back and have Joe actually be "the father figure" that helps them all find the balance between love and lust. If the girls have already found the balance and Joe is enough what about Jesselyn?

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.02.2016 18:53
    If this was all a movie, I'd watch it!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.03.2016 11:43
    hope to see more of your write up.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.03.2016 16:46
    This was one of the most enjoyable stories I've read on here. The only problem was the ending. Other than that, AWESOME.

    Answer 0

  • BiStander
    16.03.2016 22:17
    Hey, Anonymous reader, great insight and comments. Anybody wants to run with a continuation of this plot line, go for it. I couldn't properly finish it because of a serious tragedy, so I threw that ending on there. I did some work on a story with Jasmine but never finished it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.03.2016 22:27
    Why must this end god it was sooo good I loved it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.03.2016 22:27
    Why must this end god it was sooo good I loved it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.04.2016 15:12
    I really enjoyed the story skipping a lot of the sex but still getting the story all I can say is WOW it was very moving and a true love story thanks for writing it

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  • Anonymous+reader
    11.04.2016 14:00
    Awesome

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.04.2016 20:01
    oh come on you never had him answer to his mother about which one he was going to choose. i know he was never going to pick so that leaves how he i going to tell his mom he will never pick and how she will take it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.04.2016 17:38
    Im so into these stories that Ive been reading them off and on for the last week! I can only thank you for your writting and hope you carry on with it!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    22.04.2016 01:27
    These were great! Thank you for writting them! You have a talent for it so please dont stop, and if you ever feel the need to continue with this series or another virsion say a few years to them all living together as a family that would be something I would like to read as only you can put it!!!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    01.05.2016 02:41
    Great story. I only wish it didn't end

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  • Anonymous+reader
    11.05.2016 09:59
    the sex scenes are only important in this story to me, now, because the story is posted on a porn site, the story itself is becoming more important than the naughty bits. this is a sign of a highly talented writer, thank you for sharing this story

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  • Anonymous+reader
    11.05.2016 11:30
    so sad it's over, but this was an amazing story. do you think you could do a continuation, say 10 years in the future?... that is, if you haven't already

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  • Anonymous+reader
    14.05.2016 19:29
    Best series i have ever read on this site, i hope you do continue it at some point in the future

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  • Anonymous+reader
    15.05.2016 02:26
    How was the father of the baby? Did he ever have to choose between the girls? Did he ever have the 3some with Stacey and Jasmin?? Please continue! So many things left unsaid!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.05.2016 01:20
    Very beautiful

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  • BiStander
    24.05.2016 13:33
    I was such a hack when I wrote this(might still be). I need to clean up all the errors and poor grammar and re-post it because so many people liked it. It have to be on a different site though, it wouldn't fly here anymore.
    Of course, I need to write a proper ending too, now that I'm back. Must finish Potential first. Thanks to all you who took the time to comment.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.05.2016 18:10
    I do believe that your talent is extremely good especially for this type of work, keep it up and you could retire rich someday at a young age.

    Answer 0

  • olblueyes
    12.06.2016 02:19
    love, love, love this little incest tale! added it to my profle and i never do that! it ended the way it had to! certainly incest appropriate ages! i hope the pwers do not make you change the ages to 18. it just would not work for this story! this was not a stroke story but certainly there was enough sex to satisfy the most sophisticated of tastes!! more like this please!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    15.06.2016 07:49
    Great story keep them coming

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  • Anonymous+reader
    16.06.2016 18:56
    I personally would enjoy a few more chapters.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    17.06.2016 21:10
    i must've red this late... but i beg u , drop a few more chapters

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  • Anonymous+reader
    15.07.2016 12:47
    you know , after reading all the chapters knowing all the character's in so much depth .uhhh i got to say i'm in love with jasmin too!!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    15.07.2016 15:25
    Guys this was made 2010... I mean Someone can make more chapters for our enjoyment I really liked this someone pick up from this ending

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  • Anonymous+reader
    16.07.2016 08:03
    Huh , this made me cry!!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    16.07.2016 21:49
    Damn, this can't be the end. Could you please drop a few more chapters.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    19.07.2016 02:46
    This is an amazing story you put together, It's 3.40am where i am & i gotta get up for work in a few hours, but I had to finish reading this all. I feel it needs a few more chapters to really close things up, whether or not the Davis family kids find out the whole truth or not is upto you,

    I wanna know if Joe is the father or not, Cindy should stay with Joe again & meet Jasmin & get involved with her, I really need to know what happens with the 3 of them. An epilogue at the end would be great just telling us how their lives all panned out afterwards.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    19.07.2016 08:28
    there should have been a few more chapters to this story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.07.2016 01:03
    there should have been a few more chapters to this story

    Answer 0

  • BiStander
    28.07.2016 00:53
    Yes I agree. There is a thread in the forum under the stories section that details how and why this story had a sudden ending. I had to leave the site for awhile so I threw together an ending.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    10.09.2016 19:38
    I have read every story of this series and I have to say I loved them. I could care less about the grammatical errors. I really wished you would finish the series up with what happened to them. Again I enjoyed this series totally. I stayed up till 4am trying to finish the series, but sleep came first. Thanks

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  • Anonymous+reader
    10.09.2016 19:40
    Also I voted all I could, the site said I had voted to much. I gave ever story a positive rating that the site would let me.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    15.09.2016 23:52
    More chapters please

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  • Anonymous+reader
    17.09.2016 00:30
    More chapters please

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.09.2016 09:09
    I am stunned you return almost 7 years later to read comments!
    Damn good story!
    Started reading last night, fell asleep with laptop on my chest. Recommenced this morning, reading all day (on holiday). waiting to finish this so I can finally have something to eat.
    As I sad, damn good story!

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  • Anonymous+reader
    06.10.2016 01:46
    If anyone plans to continue this story or has started posting already can they please post here to let fellow readers know.

    -LordFire

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  • BiStander
    08.10.2016 00:13
    LordFire, Got stuff drafted but nothing happening until after Potential wraps up.
    I was gone for 5 years and left in a hurry. That's why the ending was rushed.
    Watch my id in the forum. I'll post a notice on profile page when something is happening.

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  • BiStander
    09.10.2016 15:03
    Thanks guys. Hope you will enjoy Potential as much. If you care to see how much I improved during my 5 yr break, got find the first two chapters on Nifty or wolfpub.
    After potential I should be able to get going on Jasmine's beach therapy.
    As far as getting rich, I think Fifty Shades of Gray is a once in a life time deal, but I still enjoy making other enjoy reading.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    12.11.2016 18:53
    Mister you have a real talent for capturing emotions and feelings in written words. The story buildup was perfect, the sex scenes were perfectly spaced and hot and the whole story plot was, even if twisted and weird, written in a consistently believable way. Most authors rush their story, can’t keep up consistency or noticeably loose interest in the end, or they just can’t come up with a fitting one.
    Not so you (even if you say you had to ruch it, the ending was perfect) – but… I totally felt sorry for myself, that it was over! ;)
    Jay (have to split my comment:)

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  • Anonymous+reader
    12.11.2016 18:53
    You even made me laugh amazingly often with those funny situations and thoughts and witty comments. The dialogues and thoughts were absolutely age-fitting and I felt the whole range of emotions for and with the characters. Love, Hate, Jealousy, Joy….
    If a novel can elicit all those feelings the author has definitely done something right! I’m moving right on to “Potential”. Thanks so very much for this work of art! :) Please go on sharing your talent with us, you are a brilliant author!
    Jay

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  • Anonymous+reader
    12.11.2016 18:54
    P.S.: I must absolutely agree with one reader’s comment (2010-08-20 19:53:39): After practically falling in love with Susan myself the part where Susan lets herself get fucked by Jeremy made me nauseous, too. It really made me SICK in Joe’s stead. I even hated her after it became clear she had ‘been at it the whole day’. This is some really powerful emotional manipulation you are capable of! WOW!
    THANK YOU
    Jay

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  • Anonymous+reader
    14.12.2016 23:58
    It's funny the long story that you get your head wrapped around the characters in all that which is evidence by good writing now that man said my perspective and mrs. David showed up without her daughter's I think I have been ready to kill that b**** assuming that it is that I was Joe and that she was responsible for taking my love away chalk one up for my anger management issues...WilfUlly40cal

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  • Anonymous+reader
    29.01.2017 09:55
    All those great chapters, then leave it hanging at the end. Ruined the whole story.

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  • BiStander
    04.02.2017 17:30
    Anonymous reader: 2017-01-29 09:55:36 "All those great chapters, then leave it hanging at the end. Ruined the whole story."
    Thank you for commenting. I can't look now, but you can go on the forum and find the thread about this story and it will explain why the ending had to be what it was, disappointing in many people's eyes.

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  • CloudSenpai
    11.03.2017 17:50
    This story was amazing. I didn't even have sexual desires for it I just wanted to read it. It felt like a novel that you just can't put down till you find out how it ends. The twists got me each time. I felt connected to the story as if I was Joe. Thinking about what I'd do in his situations. While also laughing at his dumb decision and jokes here and there. Really? Two bracelets lol. The only thing that I hated was Susan fucking Jeremy. It made me feel sick. Especially when you added that they "were at it all day". I think I would of beat Jeremy's ass right then and there. Until that point I liked Susan as Joe's girlfriend, but as soon as that happened jasmine was the one. I also enjoyed cindys part of the story. Since I've also felt that way about a cousin before but knew it couldn't go anywhere. I also thought it was a great way to end the story with them "sharing". Although I didn't want to story to end. I'll definitely read potential! Keep the writing up you have a gift for this

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  • BiStander
    13.03.2017 02:35
    CloudSenpai, thanks, great comments. Nobody liked what Susan did with Jeremy, but, besides being screwed up in the head from all the dysfunction around her, she was jealous and upset about Jasmine and Joe.
    Been years since I wrote that so I actually can't remember the exact details about that situation, but when I finish rewriting it for wolfpub and nifty, maybe I'll make a change there. :-)

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  • Trucker1269
    29.03.2017 23:07
    Think it would be great to continue the story with Susan being either 25 or 30. With kids of her own living happily with Chris and her new daughter as well as Jasmine and her kids. Joe being a great husband and father to all. Easy to continue the story while throwing in flash backs of important events,ex Susan and Joe taking Cindy's virginity.

    Answer 0

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