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Sex games

The Morning After

Author: BikeWriter

Date: 31 December 2009

Sex Joke

  • Font:

Картинка к рассказу

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces
himself to open his eyes, and the first things he sees are a couple of
aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"

Jack stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless.


179643   1 1408   Rating +7.85 [2026]

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  • Complain about a story

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Comments 48
  • lol-er
    13.03.2010 13:51
    teehee

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.03.2010 20:31
    nice

    Answer 0

  • anonymous
    24.03.2010 20:31
    nice

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.03.2010 18:04
    lol

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.03.2010 22:46
    much better than the lame tv commercials :)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.04.2010 04:01
    Eventhough its nt a joke, its a nice point of view.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.04.2010 22:01
    makes me smile [i rarely do that]

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.05.2010 02:23
    nice one...u guys rarely do dat

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.05.2010 22:29
    really liked this one

    Answer 0

  • The+Joker
    14.07.2010 23:56
    Bwaha! Lucky ass nigga.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.09.2010 08:32
    A Negative vote for your bullshit joke..... wimmers post much better and much more funny jokes. people go checkout his jokes you will laugh like hell.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.11.2010 03:08
    It can't be any better than this!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.12.2010 02:47
    Nice one! the guy got lucky!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.12.2010 02:47
    Nice one! the guy got lucky!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.12.2010 02:48
    Nice one! the guy got lucky!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.01.2011 19:30
    You can blatantly tell it's wimmers going around leaving hate comments and telling people to read his 'jokes'. If they were funny we would read them now leave us alone so we can read these jokes in peace

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.01.2011 19:30
    You can blatantly tell it's wimmers going around leaving hate comments and telling people to read his 'jokes'. If they were funny we would read them now leave us alone so we can read these jokes in peace

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.03.2011 17:47
    great joke, dont listen to all the negative comments

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.03.2011 04:32
    that is the negative joke i dont like that

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.04.2011 01:40
    wimmers is an asshole.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    12.04.2011 07:44
    tol walambai ha pa jama angrezanu kunianu

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.06.2011 14:40
    LMAOOOO hahahahahahahahaha XD

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.10.2011 12:59
    سكس

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.11.2011 13:32
    ohoohahahahahahahahahagbgbgbgbiahahahahahaha

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.11.2011 21:27
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!LOL!!!

    Answer 0

  • SexxxGodess
    25.12.2011 09:41
    Aaaw now that is sweet! Well, the leave me alone part!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 14:47
    lol awesome, would do the same if I went through that with my hubby

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.03.2012 10:01
    haha ha thats so funny

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    04.04.2012 21:25
    I can never remember to say the right thing at the right time. Lucky him.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.04.2012 16:34
    you know, i used to hve that until i got an arrow to the knee by the way



    FUS...RO DAH!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.04.2012 16:36
    find the N

    MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.04.2012 16:38
    ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.04.2012 16:39
    if you can read this you probably have eyes

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.04.2012 16:41
    f*ck everybody 360º yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.05.2012 00:47
    Can you raed tihs bcauese if you can yuor gay

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.08.2012 21:42
    yes i can read that it is based off of something i forget what but u ca read anything as long as the first and lst letter are what they sould be.
    ex: i rlleay eonjy flabotol.
    amazing right

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.09.2012 22:16
    Thanks for the tip Jim. I had looked at Zoetrope a while back and they didn't have annyhitg for poets. I joined and can hardly wait to see what it's like.Pam, if you have literary-minded family members, that's great. I stay away from family members and usually recommend others do the same because family members usually say they like it no matter what. They don't want to hurt your feelings. Mine just look at me cross-eyed coz I don't always use monosyllabic words.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.10.2012 04:24
    Deaar prof.Li, if my understanding is creorct, the number of particle is not a constant, which becomes larger with the expansion of universe (Npropto T^{-2}, Eq.(9)), so the particles are generated in the universe. The physics pressure is positive, however the effective pressure is negative due to the expansion of the universe. All the features are very similar with the steady Universe model.Please tell me whether these understanding is creorct. Thanks!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.12.2012 01:00
    find me 8---------D~ 0:

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.12.2012 08:06
    سكس بنات مع حصان

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.01.2013 06:45
    Your penis has worms.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.08.2013 08:00
    Gujarate babexxxvido

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.12.2013 17:46
    Hawa ni wasenge kweli, mie sielewi kitu bana. Washenzi hawa, bure tu.

    Answer 0

  • COMIN4DATASS
    21.05.2014 12:19
    that was really good

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.09.2014 08:52
    i think parallel uevsnrie is a better translation, fictional world.歷女 is girls that are extreme interested in history and historic figures. she seems to be someone who like the Zengoku era, and quotes Tokukawa Ieyasu in this episode

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.09.2014 11:44
    Cheers Greg! Nice rearrangement!I reltceny watched The Shining and that is what the father types obsessively when he is going mad...he has writer's block and madness! It doesn't refer to Jack Ross!Coincidentally it could reinforce my comments on Scott Hamilton's recent posts on his Blog posts about the Tongan (fairly laid back) way of life, contra the "work ethic" and also an essay I read by Geoff Dyer about how he spent most of his life in England on the dole!...but that is a fluke... Mainly just felt I had to do it. Cant really explain why.I intend to definitely get down to your place with Vic, just a matter of time. Just now I am working on painting my house.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.12.2014 05:26
    Zk1H7i Awesome blog.Thanks Again. Cool.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.06.2016 21:52
    Where do you get all this from AWESOME!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

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