1.) What do you call a 90-year old man that can still madturbate?
A.) Miracle whip!
2.)Why don't witches wear panties when flying?
A.) To get a better grip on the broomstick!
3.)What's the quickest way to clear out a mens restroom?
A.) Say "Nice Dick".
4.)What's the definition of 'skyjacking'?
A.) A hand job at 32,000 feet
5.)What's white, sticky, and falls from the sky?
A.)The cumming of the Lord
6.)Have you heard about the new, 'mint-flavoured birth control pill' that women can take just before having sex?
A.) They're called 'Predickamints'.
7.)Why do dwarfs laugh when they're playing football?
A.)Because the grass tickles their balls!
8.)Why don't blind men skydive?
A.)Because it scares the shit out of the dog!
9.)How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A.)He forgot to wrap his whopper!
10.)How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A.)Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from!
11.)Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A.)Because his pecker is on his head!
12.)Why are women like KFC?
A.)After you've finished with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in!
13.)Why does Santa have such a big sack?
A.)Beacause he only comes once a year.
14.)What happens if you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?
A.)He keeps coming, and coming, and coming!
15.)What starts with 'F', ends in 'K', ane means ALOT of excitement?
A.)If you thought that the answer was 'Fuck', Then boy, you have a sick mind... because the answer is...
FIRETEUCK!!
16.)What's a zebra?
A.)26 Sizes bigger than an 'A' bra!
Some Blonde Jokes:
(No offence is meant to any Blondes reading, I used to be a blonde though!)
B1.)How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
A.)Write 'Please Turn Over' on both sides of a piece of paper
B2.)How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A.)Knock on the door
B3.)Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A.)Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
