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Sex games

  1. 3 evil sisters Part 9
  2. 3 evil sisters Part 9 Final copy
3 evil sisters Part 9 Final copy

Author: ll Metallica ll

Date: 16 October 2012

Incest, Fantasy, Lesbian, Male / Female

  • Font:

Картинка к рассказу

The voice of Izzy still rang in my head of her saying that Gene and Tiffany were at the house. My mind got distracted at looking at Riley’s ass bobbing up and down and shifting side to side while she was pedaling that I lost all control of the bike nearly crashing into a lamppost on the right side of me.

“Come on Max, I don’t have all day.” She said with a snigger on her face as she pulled over for a drink of water. “You were staring at my ass again weren’t you?” she said with a surprisingly calm tone. I just nodded slowly. “So this Gene… do you like her?”
“She is just a friend” I replied, reaching for my bottle of water, “I have no reason to be attracted to her.” I lied but I couldn’t tell Riley that for I know how she would react. “We better be going Riley don’t want to be late. Being late was the least of my worries at this point.

We arrived home sooner than I expected (or hoped for that matter.) I walked through the door and into the kitchen where I was greeted with a hug and cheeky kiss from Gene much too much dislike of my sisters and the stares I got especially from Izzy, but I decided to ignore her and not pay any attention to Riley but I noticed and empty seat next to Tiffany who had been wearing a very lovely red V-neck and long-ish black skirt. “Mum where is Ashley?” I asked with hesitation to what the reaction would be from Riley and Izzy would be, but there was none.
“She is in her room, be a dear and go get her.” That message triggered something in Izzy as she stood up and dragged me by my hand out the kitchen. “Just need to tell Max something mother.” She said politely with a huge smile. Her facial expression darkened as she turned to face me. “Max you even get a blow-job off Ashley and I’ll tell everyone one about you and that woman in there, got it?”
I could see the old Izzy rising to the surface, I knew she would hold that story against me. As she let go off my arm I headed upstairs and along to Ashley’s bedroom, I reached for the handle when I heard some sobbing coming from through the door. “Ashley dinner is ready,” I said in a clear voice.
I turned round and heard the door handle moving and the door swung open. I felt a hand grab the collar of my shirt which then proceeded to pull me into her room, Ashley tripped me over with her foot causing me to fall back with my eyes staring at her ceiling this view was then covered up by her breasts which seemed to cover my entire view in the black sports bra she was wearing. “Ashley get off of me…NOW!” my voice was muffled but she heard me and got off of me. “What do you think you’re doing?” I replied with rage in my voice. I felt that way the night she used me. I wanted to hit her but I would not stoop so low, I raised my arm as if to slap her but I controlled my anger and headed for the door.
“Dinner is ready.” I whispered as the door shut behind me. I made my way downstairs and staggered into the kitchen, I looked from Izzy to Riley then Gene to her mother Tiffany. I took my seat next to Izzy and across the table from Gene their eyes in deadlock with each-other.
My mother sat the dinner plate in front of me, my ears picked up the sound of footsteps waling downstairs, and it was Ashley. She sat directly opposite me my stomach started to churn. I pushed my plate away in disgust. “I’m not hungry.” I stated, as I stood up and made my way to my bedroom, I felt a soft object touch my hand and turned around to notice it was Ashley, “Don’t leave because of me.” She said with a tear in her eye. I took my hand away from hers, “I’m going to bed.”

That night was the worst sleep ever, the nightmares I kept having about Izzy telling everyone about me and Tiffany or the fight that always ensued between Riley and Ashley over me, not to mention the impact I left as I stormed away from the kitchen but what really annoyed me was that Ashley thought I would have sex with her after all she put me through but the images of her body got me a little flustered, I mean she was a sexy woman but I just couldn’t, could I?

The next day wasn’t so bad I was awakened with a breakfast in bed with a note that read,
“Sorry for last night,
Love Ash.”

My mind was wondering, how did she get in?..... Without me knowing. I left the breakfast on my bed and headed downstairs and noticed that Gene was sleeping on the couch and Mum was washing the dishes. I walked into the kitchen and hugged my mother saying I was sorry for last night, and why was Gene sleeping on our couch. “Her mom was called to hospital for her Dad’s had a heart attack and she didn’t want Gene to worry so she asked If she could sleep here for a few days.” She replied.

I walked out of the kitchen to see Gene but was confronted by Izzy who decided to push me back, (the first time she had physically confronted me in a while) “What happened with you last night and most importantly why is that WHORE in our living room.” Not even trying to keep her voice down.
I just barged past her not intimidated by her comment, I sat next to Gene who was still sleeping at this point. I brushed her hair past her ears she was cold as a statue, I decided to go and fetch her a pillow and blanket from my room, and upon entering my room there she was Riley lying on my bed with my blankets wrapped around her waist with her breasts exposed

“I don’t have time for this Riley,” I said in hesitation
“I wasn’t asking” she replied seductively. She removed the blankets to show little white panties that were soaked already. She wandered over to me and stuck her hand down my boxers and grabbed my dick which was already hard. “Max I need it,” she squeezed it harder, as I grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her up to my level. I was lost in her eyes they were so beautiful but I had to break the trance or I would be overcome by my sexual feelings. “I want you too,” I replied, “I want to but I just can’t.” Riley looked at me puzzled but decided to wrap herself up and leave but I was left with a MASSIVE hard-on which I really had to get rid of.

I quickly grabbed the blankets and pillow and rushed downstairs and into the living-room, I handed them to her one at a time, trying to conceal my hard-on. I anxiously ran back upstairs.

Meanwhile, Izzy walked down and into the living room glaring at Gene the whole time until she sat down, “This little whore better be out of here soon.” She whispered as she turned on the T.v. Ashley then entered the living-room with a piece of burnt toast which looked absolute awful but then again Ashley was never no gourmet chef, “What’s wrong Ashley, Max not willing to sleep with your cheating ass.” She said with a cheeky grin. “I…i..i.” she ran out the room before she could finish her sentence. The way Izzy face fell when her mum entered the room could have broken a mirror. “Why do you treat your sister like that Isabella!” she shouted with sternness and a cold heart, “Isn’t it bad enough you treat Max like that, now Ashley.”

While this was going on Gene awakened from her slumber, only to see the mother and daughter argument. “I leave you alone if you want?” she asked, “I need to take this blanket and pillow up to Max.” With a pleasant smile on her face and an evil glare on Izzy’s she headed to Max’s room. She reached for the door handle and opened the door a crack the room was bare and Max was nowhere in-sight , Gene dropped the pillow and blanket on Max’s bed and left the room. Max was instead in the shower playing with himself too much that he shot is load on the shower curtain which made his legs buckle as he sank to the floor and a small grin came over his face. Before getting out Max had washed the shower curtain clean off his cum and walked out. He changed into a fresh pair of boxers and an old T-shirt that belonged to his dad, Max had never wore this shirt for a while he always felt it was his last connection to his father, his door swung open and no surprise it was Izzy in black skin-tight jeans and a black fishnet shirt which revealed her bra which held her perfect tits in place. “You want me to sleep with you tonight Max?” she asked. “I heard you last night you sounded very frightened,” she stated which at this moment in time I could use a nice sleep on her tits.

I awoke the next day muzzled in between Izzy’s breasts they were so comfortable like marshmallows or like silk coated clouds which was just heavenly. Izzy awoke when I took my head out of her breasts, “Now Max I want something in return and I want it now.” She said licking her lips as she removed my shirt and dug her hands down into my boxers and squeezed. “Izzy please don’t be as rough as last time and no fingers in my ass either.” She looked puzzled, “Did you not enjoy that?” she asked, my reply was a stare into her eyes and simply shaking my head.

Izzy started to to fondle around with my cock until she almost ripped my boxers trying to get it out, I reached up and stole a few kisses from her while my left hand got to work on her left breast, I slapped her breasts multiple time before moving my hands down to her pussy and removed her panties while she was lying on me. I started to tease her by sucking and occasionally biting on her nipples which shot her into overdrive I felt her pussy tighten around my fingers a few times and thought she was going to cum, “Did I say you could cum!”… I slapped her across the face and quickly squeezed her left nipple and slapped her a few more time. “Max I need to cum please,”…… “Not yet.” I replied with another slap to her face, I started moving my fingers much more rapidly in and out her throbbing pussy before she let out a huge scream. I felt the cum trickle down my fingers and brought them up to my nose and smelt it before I licked it off my fingers. “You like the taste of my cum Max?” “I love it!”

I went in for a kiss but she held me back, “Now I’m going to taste you in here,” as she pointed to her mouth and here as she turned round and put her tight ass hole in my face and pointed to it’s opening. “Massage my ass with your tongue Max as she pressed her ass right up to my face. I licked around her ass hole several times as she continued to suck my cock and occasionally I would force her to gag on it. She then got off me and sat at the edge of the bed ready to be anally fucked.
She forced my cock into her ass and started to let out little groans and moans, I could hear her taking longer breaths and was enjoying what she was being given after all she did love a good bit of anal. I grabbed her by the ass and started moving her up and down my shaft until I told the bitch to go into the doggy-style position. I lined up my cock and started teasing her by only putting my head in a few times. “Hurry up Max I want your cum now!”

That’s all I need I grabbed her by the hips and pounded my whole cock into her at once. I felt her whole body tingle and buckle as I kept pounding her ass getting faster and faster each time. She was taking heavy pants and her pussy was dripping on to my bed sheets. I stopped a few times to slap her ass and when she tried to turn round I would stop fucking her almost teasing her as you wish.
“Max I need to cum now.”
“You haven't earned it yet,” I smiled as she playfully scowled
“Fuck me like I’m meat Max!” she yelled
I grabbed hold of her boobs that were dangling down from her body and squeezed them as hard as I could she let out a very loud scream which I had to mute by kissing her inserting my tongue straight into her which danced all around her mouth and danced with her tongue. I felt my balls tingling as I was about to cum, I quickly pulled out and demanded the Izzy come and clean my cock for my as she was already finished with her orgasm. I grabbed her by the hair and plummeting my cock deep inside her throat and released ropes and ropes of cum inside her mouth which even Izzy had a problem swallowing. As she gathered her clothes to leave the room I gave her ass a hard squeeze which then was greeted with a cheeky smile and a wink.

Throughout the day I sat in the living room talking to Gene about the terrible films we had got and that how bad they were. Until it came to this comedy which was quite funny in my opinion and Gene thought it was a blast to.
Later on, we called in for food because neither me nor mum felt like cooking that night, I was still buzzing about the sex I had with Izzy earlier. It felt amazing just her gagging on my cock gave me sense of power and control which I never really got when I was with Riley or Ashley. Izzy was probably my favorite out of the three just because I had so much power over her and she let me do anything to her which was magical but then again Ashley does have the better ass…..Wait hold on why am I thinking of Ashley she used me and worse lied to me as well. I would forgive her but It’s hard to after being used like that. (she did take my virginity after all) But something about Ashley always brought her back into my head, was it her beautiful skin, her amazing ass or just the simple fact that she was my first. The pizza arrived 20 minutes later and we all shared a big slice but even though she had stayed with us Gene seemed uneasy I don’t know what it was but she didn’t look ‘normal’.

I decided to go to bed a little later that night even though I had school in the morning which to be honest felt like its own nightmare that was until I heard a knock on my door and it was Gene that opened it.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” she asked nervously

“Sure” I replied, This was all I needed Gene sleeping next to me in my bed. What happens if I get a hard-on and she feels it? With this I decided to roll over as she climbed into my bed.
“Max?”
“Yeah,” With my eyes still closed.
“Can I take my clothes off and sleep in my bra?”

“Yeah sure,” My eyes opened to what I just agreed to.

That night had went a bit smoother after that, even though she slept in a bra and her panties nothing sexually came off it. Which I was quite glad at but my cock thought different. I actually got a great sleep for once in a long time probably just from the comfort of Gene being near me. My alarm clock woke me also with the sound of Riley and Izzy shouting for me to get up.

After I got ready all I had to do was get my bag ready for school but there was one thing missing my sketch book was not there perhaps Gene had took it and of course I was right she was sitting in the kitchen flicking through it noticing the times I had drawn Izzy almost nude. “I need to go to school can I have that.” motioning for the sketchbook

After that Izzy dropped me off at school and as usual, I made out with her in the car as usual. The time did go quick in school, I knew by the way everyone was looking at me I reeked of sex and I knew it to. The day went quick at school and soon it was time for me to sketch Gene again but when I arrived at Mr. Edwards class she wasn’t there, ‘had my sisters done something to her’ I pondered before receiving at tap on the back from Mr.Edwards

“Max, where have you been in the last few days.” He asked

“It has been the weekend.” I replied

“Oh yeah, Max your free to go today.”

I arrived home earlier as I rushed to see what happened to Gene and that’s when I saw a sight that I should never of seen Riley and Gene making out on the couch.

“What’s happening here then?” I said curiously.

They both stopped snogging each other and turned around in astonishment, Riley’s face hit the floor and seen I was too angry for to try and reason with me

“Max, I’m so sorry,” Gene panted after the heavy snogging.

“Forget it.” I said with anger as I marched upstairs Gene trying to grab my arm to bring me back down but I pulled away from her and headed for my room.

I dropped all my stuff and headed in for a shower to wash the smell of sex of me. I hanged my head with one hand against the wall and looked down at the ground. My mind wondering still with that image of Gene getting snogged by Riley kind of turned me on with all this thinking I failed to realize that someone had opened and closed it without me knowing. I turned round to see someone pulling back the curtain and I recognized those hips from anywhere and it was Ashley who wondered into the shower and gave me a small kiss on my cheek….


56537   2 17256   Rating +7.17 [318]

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Comments 74
  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2012 00:11
    Ok Riley would never do that she was way to in love with Mac to hurt him

    Answer 0

  • ll+Metallica+ll
    17.10.2012 00:27
    I didn't want to do that but It was Gene I was trying to blame more than Riley

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2012 01:13
    Stop saying snoggin and mum, it just sounds weird when I read it. Also, be a little more descriptive please.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2012 01:20
    You should ask for pointers from the people who started it and then you can get better

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2012 01:30
    Ay ur doing anawesome job man plzz keep them ciming I kant stop reading im hooked on this storry

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2012 01:37
    max's room is not upstairs in the first parts of the original story it states that he was never allowed upstairs because that was his sister's rooms his room was downstairs

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2012 17:51
    its shite

    not long enough, not enough suspense, I agree with an earlier comment if you want to get better ask the other two for help first

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2012 23:21
    Wow this is good man, don't let haters hate considering they are up there asses too far

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.10.2012 07:37
    like a sequel to a great movie gone wrong hate to say it. I understand the story being shrter then other for your first attempt but it seams as though your trying to take the story into a totally different direction then where it was heading. If your going to try to continue the story man you need to take it slow and steady and do your research about the other parts from the story or it just wont work.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.10.2012 03:09
    Good one. Its your story now. So take it where you want just make reader happy and move thing slow. Thanks for restarting it

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.10.2012 12:23
    I know people use harsh wordes and They are right. Just don't give up try to make it better next time.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.10.2012 12:54
    good story. Just need some more defination and lenght. Pleas don't give up

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.10.2012 02:17
    Ths story was all over the place. It wasn't bad just jumping way too much it seemed very rushed. Other then that a good job.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.10.2012 17:40
    Didn't like it leave it to somestory or duskflair give it up man

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.10.2012 00:34
    Are you going to give up?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.10.2012 00:34
    Are you going to give up?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.10.2012 10:49
    Just keep going with the story the way you are but just finish it please

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.10.2012 03:04
    dont give up great job just end it its sad to say but it needs to end already:( 1o parts by 3 differnt authers is too much just end it please

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.10.2012 03:10
    good but brush up on on your readng,max's room was down stairs hun not up meber, and get some help from dusk he's 1 hell of a writer im sure he'll give you sum pointers

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.10.2012 21:52
    Pleas tell me you r still there and will post next part !!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.10.2012 22:14
    Fuck all of these assholes bro, PLEASE PLEASE continue on with the story!! I have been waiting literally forever for this story now!! I do have a small request though, If you can, than do Add Gene's mom. I liked it when Somestory did it, and I want to see how it would turn out with you.

    Thanks in Advance Bro,

    Anonymous.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.10.2012 22:16
    Please do a part 10!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.11.2012 10:46
    Hey are you going to write. Anymore of this story please just do some more with it is a great story so please write more will he fuck his mom too

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.11.2012 10:50
    terrible just terrible dont even write a part 10 the other 2 writers were great u suck

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.11.2012 14:22
    Please please please please make another 1 I loved reading the stories shit if u can make abook

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.12.2012 00:25
    the story died with somestory. get over it guys.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.12.2012 23:58
    Dusk better start it again...I am so frustrated because dusk did an amazing job that at fist I couldn't even tell u switched writers..I love the Riley love thing

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.01.2013 06:42
    Eager to know further. When are you gonna write next part?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.01.2013 09:59
    When is part 10 coming

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2013 20:12
    Please write part 10 u should give a link to duskflairs and somestoris last postings so u get more views

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.02.2013 20:18
    Write more!!, hopefully theres 3somes with max Gene and Riley! good none the less and can't wait for part 10.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.02.2013 03:52
    Wow, this so-called "Part 9" doesn't even make sense. First and foremost, the grammar sucks wrinkly old grandpa balls. Secondly, the whole story about Tiffany and Gene is complete bullshit and skirted over. Also, the relationships between Max & Riley, Izzy. and Ashley have been completely ignored. And finally, the days go past in a matter of sentences rather than large paragraphs like the originals.

    Stop writing. Just stop. You're butchering what was a great series by SomeStory and continued by Duskflair. Your story should be a considered a troll story. Fuck you. I'm going to write my own version of Part 9 that isn't a piece of shit 3000 words (compared to Part 1's 8300 words) to truly end the series so some shitbag douche doesn't come along and try to fucking ruin the story again.

    It will take me months to write the true Part 9, but it will be of such epic proportions that none may refute the finality of it.

    Good day to you, good sirs. And, once again, fuck you Metallica.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.03.2013 22:13
    This story is fucking cursed.

    Answer 0

  • King+Romantic
    14.03.2013 04:39
    Dusk can suck my dick honestly, he did better than this hackjob who halfass one chapter and left me with empty promises, but none can compare to the writing ability of somestory in terms of this saga in my opinion, and in general all good writers who would literally bring me into the story like I was actually there have left the site for one reason or another, and my search for an even decent story continues. Im tired of shitty writing based around a half assed theme with no plot that takes me no where *cough cough* every shitty ass fbaily story, I wanna feel when im reading these stories I dont just want something that's supposed to turn me on and fails miserably, is this really too much to ask for. A decent to good story to make me want more.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.03.2013 01:45
    ورع يعود يناك

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.03.2013 11:44
    Somestory is the reason I like 3 evil sisters.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.03.2013 11:46
    Broh don't worry about bad comments. 3evil sisters gotta keep going. There's no need for. Stopping the story or ending it. Its a great sequence

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.04.2013 00:01
    THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING STORY ON THE SITE, WHEN WILL YOU CONTINUE IT?!?!!!???

    I fucking love it

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.05.2013 18:41
    shit story leave it to someone that knows what their doing

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.05.2013 08:27
    You gave it a good try man, sorry for all the people bashing you. I will not say that you did an amazing job, but at least you had the balls to give it a go. If you feel up to it I think you could re-write this story and make it epic, reread the former chapters and get a feel for how the characters interacted. Good try and you do not deserve the bashing, but not top quality. Thank you though.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.05.2013 18:22
    Can there be a part 10

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.05.2013 18:24
    Can there be a part 10

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.05.2013 19:24
    Can there be a part 10?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2013 06:16
    make a Part 10 dam I want him to just fuck righly or her and Izzy I would like if u just try and not make to much drama with Izzy finding out

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2013 06:20
    No more mum and ok try but righly wouldnt do that andreright it

    when he fucks her make it more descrptive

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2013 06:21
    make a Part 10 dam I want him to just fuck righly or her and Izzy I would like if u just try and not make to much drama with Izzy finding out

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2013 06:21
    make a Part 10 dam I want him to just fuck righly or her and Izzy I would like if u just try and not make to much drama with Izzy finding out

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.06.2013 21:20
    Please make a part 10 . This series is awesome@!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.06.2013 23:09
    I'm going to hunt these three fucking writers down if somebody doesn't make a good damned part 10!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.06.2013 02:42
    Dude please make more

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.07.2013 00:15
    Don't worry everyone I am currently working to complete this story. I am NOT this author or any of the previous two. However I am a good writer and I am going to get the story the ending that it deserves

    Answer 0

  • stargazer8254
    09.07.2013 05:03
    hey eveyone I will be continuing the story. I have already uploaded chapter 10. just click my name and read :)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.07.2013 12:18
    What a way to destroy this series....

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.07.2013 12:18
    What a way to destroy this series....

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.10.2013 13:44
    Lol whoever said guck Metallica is obviously a butt hurt pedophile lol

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.10.2013 13:52
    Lol whoever said guck Metallica is obviously a butt hurt pedophile lol

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.11.2013 13:56
    Lol, these stories became bad when he fucked Gene's Mom, then they became terrible when he did his Mom.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.11.2013 13:57
    Although, I do have to thank you for inspiring me to write big time. Thank you

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.12.2013 06:10
    what the fuck!? what happened to the story?

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  • Anonymous+reader
    16.06.2014 02:59
    really dude that small fist story was much better than this one.where the hell is the original writer?

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  • Anonymous+reader
    23.07.2014 20:35
    This was probably the worst part I've ever seen. I was really hooked on the story until I read this part... Actually I hardly read it considering how he pretty much ignored his sisters an focused entirely on gene. You need to have a better feel for the story first if you wanted to write a sequel

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  • Anonymous+reader
    18.09.2014 19:05
    Soooooooooo.confused

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  • Anonymous+reader
    20.12.2014 23:22
    Worst piece of shit ever. No joke.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    31.01.2015 23:22
    Why are people still reading this and the last comment on here is pathetic

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  • Anonymous+reader
    15.04.2015 20:58
    I liked it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.08.2015 00:37
    This was fucking shit I miss somestory

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  • Anonymous+reader
    02.09.2015 02:29
    RIp story

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  • Anonymous+reader
    10.09.2015 17:49
    The last two you did for the story weren't bad, but this one is like you kinda tried to rush it and it just jumps all around. Be better if you were to go back and edit it some more. Add more about what's going on and such.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    10.10.2015 07:13
    u shouldn't write more of this

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  • Anonymous+reader
    06.01.2016 20:04
    Too good story must make a movie

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  • Anonymous+reader
    03.04.2016 03:02
    This is the dumbest fucking shit ever they were first supposed to go out somewhere for dinner... Obviously and you are so sporadic it makes me wanna write my own that actually follows the story

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  • Anonymous+reader
    06.06.2016 21:41
    The ones you did are too short. Please do not write any more of these

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  • Anonymous+reader
    31.08.2016 01:43
    That was terrible. I only read a quarter and realized you ruined the entire story. Don't write any more of these.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    06.10.2016 01:31
    This was an amateur attemt to continue this awesome story. Please let someone else write this series including a new and improved chapter 9.

    Answer 0

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