It was a fine day in in the picturesk village of launchton, or what the locals call it dairylee lunchables Honestly that has to be the worst lunch anyone can give their children
The village was a type of village that every body knew each other and as soon as a new car rolled through the old people grimaced at the sight of it. Also it can be said that this is the type of village is racist. But thats a different matter
Anyways i lve in the middle of launchton I am 22 years old, i like to wear prescription glasses even though my eye sight isnt even that bad?
I usually have on a long summer timy dress on during the summer and i am just short of 6 foot tall.
One day when it had been raining for the past 12 days and my dad was shouting at this old man aboit some rapitue that will clense the land of the undesirables I said "fuck this" alittle too loudly because my mom turned around and slapped me across my chops As i left i decided to meat up with my feind johnn.
His real name is ben, but he thinks that name makes him sound gay As i met him he had the gayest smile i had ever seen ad i asked what was wrong and he said that he had won tickets for 2 to spain and all the expenses were paid
I said omg wow rotfl! Who you taking with you and he said you
I looked at him with disapointment and said, i didnt know you liked that chinease girl in our physics lectures.
He then said not you im taking you
I said who
He said i want to take you to sain
I said sweet an all exPENISes paid trip to spain
We ran gaily back to his house to talk more about the plans ahead
the first problem was that the local airport had been closed recently ad the closest airport was 5 fucking hours away which was retarded. But johhny said that dont worry about the plans i will take care of all of them
As he said that he brought over a drink for both of us. The drink looked weird because i hadnt seem anything like this before. The folour of it was green and it was really fizzy. I said fuck it and drank it.l, the first thing i noticed was it tasted like apples and then i passed out
As i came back around i was sitting om my ass in a aircraft seat ready for takr off I looked to johnny and said if you wanted to fuck me you should of taken me to dinner first
He looked at me shocked and said that he would never think of fucking me while i was knocked out
i said i love you so much right now but why did you knock me out but wake me ip beforethe flight landed in spain, now i have to sit here for 3 hours
He said sorry, i just gitten you through borarder control while passed oit give me some slack jack.
Soon we landed in spain, we got to the hotel and i noticed People where partying, and i thought to myself what the fuck All day all night Viva la fiesta, viva la noche Viva los DJ's I couldn't believe what I was living
So I called my friend Johnny And I said to him:
Johnny, La gente esta muy loca! What the f*ck!?
Also im half spain. I got it from my nephews side
Jonny turned to me and said lets fuck I said ll but where He said lets do it in the walk in wardrobe I said why He said because there are no windows But there was a problem johnny was only 5 foot tall And because there is only sanding room we could only fuck standing up
Johnny was on his tip toes but his penis wouldnt reach me vagaina And he even had a above average sized cock. But that 1 foot jap wasnt going to be bridged.
He tried jumping up and down, but that didnt help He asked me to squat down, but my legs where felling funny after the flight So what we did was played a game of slaps but instead of holding out your hands and slapping each other wr played with his pemis and my mouth Then as i slapped his chops hard l, this white stuff came out his penis and he said in horror dont worry its only youghurt, you should store it inside your vagaina to make frozen youghurt treats for layter The endt
Did you know that the average life span of a garden shed door hinge is aproximatly 3 years, this can be incteased by know buying cheap shit hardware to begin with. Because with the seasonal change in climate the rain will start to rust thwt shit
So make sure you protect you door hinges
As a bonus tip try rubbing shit oj the door, because when the rain sees the shit oj the door it wipl be like hell no i aint raining to to a shit covered shed
This 5000 chararcter lomit is rwallly starting to take the piss just like ushers sheets
Please check out my other stories, they include in the higest ranked story in the world, if you enjoyed this presentation please read what ever happened happenez l. It portrays a story of how a cat resuces it family wlwith the hindenburg disaster as a back theme
Fuck this shit
presentation please read what ever happened happenez l. It portrays a story of how a cat resuces it family wlwith the hindenburg disaster as a back theme
presentation please read what ever happened happenez l. It portrays a story of how a cat resuces it family wlwith the hindenburg disaster as a back theme
