Comments Chat TOP rating Top 300

стрелкаNew stories 69482

стрелкаAnal 12669

стрелкаAsian 1567

стрелкаAss to mouth 3459

стрелкаAuthoritarian 2675

стрелкаBDSM 6085 +1

стрелкаBestiality 2961

стрелкаBi-sexual 5384

стрелкаBlack 1795

стрелкаBlackmail 1867

стрелкаBlowjob 17816

стрелкаBody modification 1175

стрелкаBoy 1709

стрелкаCheating 4072

стрелкаCoercion 2250

стрелкаConsensual Sex 14806

стрелкаCuckold 1123

стрелкаCum Swallowing 7693 +1

стрелкаDark Fantasy 5321

стрелкаDeath 805

стрелкаDiary 2877

стрелкаDiscipline 862

стрелкаDomination/submission 3485 +1

стрелкаDrug 941

стрелкаErotica 3565 +1

стрелкаExhibitionism 2847

стрелкаExtreme 924

стрелкаFantastic 2208

стрелкаFantasy 11879 +2

стрелкаFemale Domination 1082

стрелкаFemale solo 2013

стрелкаFiction 31481

стрелкаFirst Time 4774

стрелкаFisting 298

стрелкаFoot or shoe fetish 241

стрелкаGay 2834 +1

стрелкаGothic 167

стрелкаGroup Sex 2502

стрелкаHardcore 1897

стрелкаHumiliation 1474

стрелкаIncest 9181

стрелкаInterracial 1142

стрелкаJob/Place-of-work 1125

стрелкаLactation 211

стрелкаLatina 183 +1

стрелкаLesbian 3161

стрелкаMale / Female 6369

стрелкаMale Domination 469

стрелкаmassage 192

стрелкаMasturbation 2170

стрелкаMature 977

стрелкаMind Control 616

стрелкаMonster 277 +1

стрелкаMurder 193

стрелкаNon-consensual sex 940

стрелкаNon-Erotic 651

стрелкаOral Sex 3178 +1

стрелкаPoem 454

стрелкаPregnant 441 +1

стрелкаProstitution 329

стрелкаRape 1040

стрелкаReluctance 657

стрелкаRomance 2152

стрелкаSchool 797

стрелкаSex Joke 689

стрелкаSlavery 245

стрелкаSpanking 300

стрелкаTeen 4567 +2

стрелкаThreesome 710

стрелкаTorture 154

стрелкаToys 239 +1

стрелкаTranssexual 249 +1

стрелкаTrue Story 11407

стрелкаViolence 406

стрелкаVirginity 713 +1

стрелкаVoyeurism 603

стрелкаWater Sports/Pissing 217 +1

стрелкаWife 661

стрелкаWritten by women 818


Sex games

PICK UP LINES-THE WORST

Author: LouisaMayyxoxo

Date: 3 May 2013

Sex Joke

  • Font:

Картинка к рассказу

•Do you have a heated fire poker up your ass? Cause you look hot.
•I love every bone in your body......especially mine
•Are you a mythical monster? Cause you look unreal.
•Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is seriously fucked up.
•I'm just gonna go ahead and say it-have you ever seen eighteen inches??
•Are you an envelope? Cause I'm gonna open you.
•Are you an angel? Cause god sent you to fuck me.
•I don't mind that you're flat chested. Youre like a board: flat and easy to nail.


These are only a few, just the worst ones I've heard. Like and comment. I'll put some more up soon.


47179   1 668   Rating +5.53 [824]

Add to favorites
  • Complain about a story

    * Mandatory field
Comments 25
  • anonymous+reader
    04.05.2013 01:17
    do you work at subway because you are giving me a foot long

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.05.2013 18:02
    why are you so funny you are cracking my ribs

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.05.2013 17:33
    i told the god sent you to fuck me and I got laid haha I think it works

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.05.2013 20:47
    LOL with age comes wisdom,,some guys havent learned that If a woman wants you you dont have to say stupid things,

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.05.2013 20:47
    LOL with age comes wisdom,,some guys havent learned that If a woman wants you you dont have to say stupid things,

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.05.2013 20:47
    LOL with age comes wisdom,,some guys havent learned that If a woman wants you you dont have to say stupid things,

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2013 17:25
    anonymous reader
    2013-05-27 20:47:53
    LOL with age comes wisdom,,some guys havent learned that If a woman wants you you dont have to say stupid things,

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2013 17:25
    anonymous reader
    2013-05-30 17:25:01
    anonymous reader
    2013-05-27 20:47:53
    LOL with age comes wisdom,,some guys havent learned that If a woman wants you you dont have to say stupid things,

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2013 17:25
    anonymous reader
    2013-05-30 17:25:12
    anonymous reader
    2013-05-30 17:25:01
    anonymous reader
    2013-05-27 20:47:53
    LOL with age comes wisdom,,some guys havent learned that If a woman wants you you dont have to say stupid things,

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.07.2013 19:59
    The fourth is actually a pick up line?! Lol.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    05.08.2013 20:15
    Do you like tape and cds? Cus I wanna tape my Dick to your forehead so you can c d's balls...........

    Do you like dragons? Cuz I wanna be dragon ma balls across your face...........

    My lil sis told me these over a family roast dinner.....awkward and cringeworthy don't even cover it.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.08.2013 21:28
    are you going to the funeral? what funeral? the one when my balls drop dead in your mouth

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.09.2013 11:20
    "Excuse me miss,i love your heels,6inch?''
    "Yeah!,thanx for noticing....."
    "Wanna see my eleven inch?"

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.10.2013 19:17
    Me : Hey LouisaMayyxoxo, I am a magician, want to see one of my tricks.
    LouisaMayyxoxo : Yeah, sure what is it?
    Me : We fuck then you dissappear.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.10.2013 19:54
    Ayth thn periodo sto kinodomo mou yparxei enas oloklhros tomos sudokou, sas to sinisto anepifilaxta, pairnaei sosta mhnymata, ka8oloy fliaro kai entelos safe!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.11.2013 16:27
    Another one:
    I'm so Bad in the Sack, you'll habe to experience it to believe it

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.11.2013 03:34
    I think it goes something like this- Yo'u're a carpenter's dream; strait as a board and never been nailed. we would say that to some girls that were flat chested when we were in our younger teens.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.11.2013 20:55
    Do you like big things? Cuz I got something big.


    (Ok that sucked)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.11.2013 07:12
    You: My magic watch can sense you're not wearing underwear
    Her: what? That's dumb. I am so wearing underwear.
    You: oh look you're right. I had it set 30 minutes fast

    It's funny cause in 30 minutes she won't have panties because you'll be buried balls deep in her asshole, while I fuck her pussy.

    BURN

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.02.2014 04:39
    Posting dicks sick pics of chick lick

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.02.2014 18:45
    how is are u from heaven cause your face is seriosly fucked up a pick line cause its a pick up line for some ass whoopens anyone up 4 one just say that “pick up line”-a sexy bitch

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.02.2014 02:35
    Darzon days fucked up on so many leves ima try it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.05.2014 22:47
    please more theese are awsome

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.05.2014 22:52
    please more theese are awsome 1 is so good

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    21.05.2014 22:52
    please more theese are awsome 1 is so good

    Answer 0

Sign Up and leave comment

Last stories by LouisaMayyxoxo

arrowChat +3