I met my future husband while in college. On our first date, Steve had taken me to the movies. When our date was coming to it's end, as any gentleman should; he walked me to my front door. At the time, I thought he was being a bit forward. He kissed me on my lips. More to the point, he tried to push his tongue into my mouth. As I was trying to persuade his tongue from entering my mouth, I felt his hand on my left buttock. I quickly stopped his advances and said, "good night." I wasn't expecting to hear from him again. Yet, the next day...he called me.
And so, on our 2nd date, we decided to watch a movie in my apartment. Not more than 30 minutes into the movie, Steve had placed his hand on my thigh. Without question, my body tensed up. I began to question his motives. Hoping to relieve the tension, I offered him some popcorn. I offered him another soft drink. He declined my offering. I quickly came to the realization, that Steve wasn't interested in the movie. In a slow and yet methodical way, his hand began to inch it's way up, towards my crotch.
For the quickest moment, when I felt Steve's lips on my neck; his hand bcame a mute point. When he began to nibble my ear lobe; my body was experiencing a new sensation. I leapt back to reality, when I felt Steve's hand on my crotch. As his fingers began to fight the snap to my jeans; I quickly put a stop to his advances.
I was raised in a very conservative household. Though my parents were strict, they were also very fair, in how they raised me. I never feared my parents. In a more profound manner of speaking; I respected them. Both of my parents were inclined to spank me, if my behavior warranted it. When I compared myself to my friends in high school, I knew that my parents kept me on a short leash. At the age of 16, my parents allowed me to date. However, my curfew was set for 10pm. News travels fast. Everyone was aware of my early curfew. I hardly ever got asked out on a date. No one wanted to end their evening at the 10 o'clock hour. When I graduated from high school; I was a virgin.
When I started college, as crazy as this might sound; I was determined to stay a virgin. My mother always said, "the experience" would be more satisfying and rewarding, if I was a virgin on my honeymoon. Like any other teenager, I thought about sex. I wondered, what it would feel like. Yet, I never dared myself to act upon my thoughts.
So, instead of watching the movie; I explained myself to Steve. Was he surprised? More to the point, he was in a state of shock; of total disbelief. Like so many others, I expected Steve to run away. Yet...he didn't. In the months that followed, we truly got to know each other. We talked, we listened to each other; we became friends. During this time; I fell in love with him.
On the day of our graduation, Steve proposed to me. As if it was yesterday, I can still recall everything that took place, on our wedding day. Standing before God, my family and friends; Steve and I shared our vows to each other. In the back of my mind, I was already thinking of our honeymoon. I was 22 years of age and I had waited long enough. I wanted my best friend, to make love to me.
So what happened after the wedding reception? Steve and I went to my parents home. We had a flight to catch; we quickly changed our clothes. Call it an awkward moment. We were standing together in my bedroom. Instead of changing my clothes in from of him, I opted to change my clothes in the bathroom. Once I was in the bathroom, I wished that I had stayed in the bedroom with Steve. He was my husband! I had never seen a naked man before. Had I thrown away my chance of seeing my husband naked? What a fool I was!
When Steve and I arrived at our destination, he registered us as Mr. and Mrs. Logan. I was on cloud nine! The moment we stepped into our hotel room; Steve took me into his arms. He kissed me. When I felt his tongue against my closed lips...I simply opened my mouth; our tongues danced together. That was the very first time, I had ever french kissed.
Without a doubt, my heart was beating a mile a minute. My knees were shaking. Steve was in the process of removing my clothes. At one point, I came to the realization that he had removed my blouse. A moment later, I watched my bra fall to the floor. I stood motionless. I was aware of what Steve was doing and too, I found myself glancing towards the queen size bed. At some point, I knew that our bodies were going to be in-between the sheets; my husband was going to make love to me.
When I felt Steve's hands cupping my breasts, I quickly turned my attention towards him, and away from the bed. Steve leaned his head slightly forward...all I could do, was hold my breath. Steve had taken one of my nipples into his mouth. His lips had formed a tight seal. His tongue began to swirl it's way around my nipple. The eruption of pleasure that my body felt...I simply couldn't remain quiet; I moaned in pleasure. When Steve began to suck my nipple, I held his head against my chest. Call it a ripple effect. As Steve continued to suck my nipples, that pleasurable state, traveled down to my vagina; I was wet.
I came to appreciate a specific sound. It's the sound of one's zipper being lowered. Steve was kneeling on the floor. My heart was beating a mile a minute. Steve's eyes had grown very wide. I noticed that his breathing has increased. He had tossed my slacks aside. His fingers were in the waistband of my panties. I couldn't utter a word; I was speechless. I closed my eyes and held my breath. In a slow and yet, methodical way, Steve began to lower my panties. Once my panties were down around my knees...I felt them fall to my ankles.
And just like that, my vagina became visible.
I was naked!
My heart skipped a beat. Opening my eyes, I looked down the length of my body. Steve's hand...his fingers began to caress my pubic hairs. The tip of his finger had come into contact with my vagina. I didn't want to lose my balance; I held his shoulders for support. No one had ever touched my vagina before. The overwhelming pleasure that my body was feeling; it was an amazing moment.
When Steve stood up, my brain was saying, "This is your moment! Undress your husband! Screw the formality of undressing him. Rip his clothes off from his body!" Instead, I remained motionless.
I think Steve was aware, that I was nervous. I truly didn't know what to do. Or at the very least, I didn't know how to carry out, those thoughts, that my brain was thinking of. Steve led me to the side of the bed. I adjusted the covers and before I was able to slide myself in-between the sheets; he held me close to his body. His hands slid over my breasts, down my stomach and once again; his fingers played with the entrance to my vagina. In a soft voice Steve said, "I'll be gentle."
I was under the covers. I watched as Steve began to remove his clothes. Ohhh to be sure, Steve has a beautiful chest. That distinct sound came into play. Steve lowered his zipper. When he removed his pants...when he placed his fingers into the waistband of his underwear; my heart skipped a beat. A moment later, I stared in complete awe. There dangling between his legs...was his penis. I could have reached out and touched it...nut, I didn't. This was my first time, I had seen a naked man. From my perspective, Steve's penis looked huge!
Seeing something that large...knowing where it was supposed to go. Well, I think it becomes a normal reaction; a person should be concerned. At that very moment, I was questioning myself, "How is something that large, supposed to fit into something as small, as my vagina?"
Steve joined me under the covers. When I felt my body against his body; It became a magical moment. In a soft voice, he said. "Honey, you don't have to be afraid. You can touch me. I want you to touch me."
With his words being said, he took my hand in his hand. Together, we began to caress his entire face. He slid my hand down to his chest. When my fingers began to play with his nipples, they hardened. I looked into his eyes; we kissed. Removing my hand from his hand, feeling a surge of confidence; my hand began to travel in a southernly direction. When my hand became entangled in Steve's pubic hairs; I held my breath. I felt it. At last, I was holding a man's penis in my hands. This particular penis belonged to my husband. It belonged to me.
That moment lasted for awhile. We just layed in bed and touched each other. This might sound foolish to many, but I had to ask the question. "Steve, are you sure...this, is going to fit inside me?"
The "this" that I was referring to, was his penis. I was holding it in my hand. Without knowing how or why, I began to stroke his penis with my hand. In a soft voice, Steve assured me that his penis would fit comfortably inside my vagina. Though, he didn't use the word vagina. Instead, he used the word "pussy." Hearing him say that word, it caused me to blush.
When Steve positioned himself between my legs...I had already spread my legs open for him. Having read enough books on the subject of sex, I knew that this was an expectation. I watched in awe, as Steve began to coat his penis with a type of lubricant. When he had finished, I heard myself say, "Are you sure, that's enough?"
Steve assured me that it was enough. I placed my head into my pillow and braced myself, for the unknown. When the head of Steve's penis touched the entrance to my vagina; I closed my eyes. My body tensed up; I grabbed the comforter in my hands. In a slow and yet, deliberate way, Steve's penis was making it's way into my vagina. More and more, I was able to feel the weight of his body on mine. My immediate reaction was to close my legs. Instead, I wrapped my legs around Steve's waist. The nightmare's that I had heard, were proven correct. As Steve's penis was gaining momentum, as it inched forward into my body, the floodgates of pain swept through my entire body. At long last, Steve's penis had broken through my hymen.
When Steve and I returned from our honeymoon; I was wreck. I felt as if my marriage was in ruins. Steve had requested a few things from me. Things, that I was unsure of. Yet, I knew they existed. Again, before leaving on my honeymoon, I had read a few books that dealt with subject of sex. Some of the things, that the book suggested people to do...well, I couldn't picture myself, doing those type of things. In the back of my mind, I was sure that Steve wouldn't ask me to do any of those things. Boy, was I wrong!
The problem I faced? I didn't have the confidence in myself, to try those things. When I wasn't able to deliver, when I couldn't fulfill my husbands requests; I felt in-adequate. I knew, that I needed to talk to someone. The person I chose was someone that I loved, respected and admired. I called my mother!
