Slowly the pain started going away. Slowly the nightmares started going away. Over time I was able to start putting the horrible past behind me. I was back in school, now a high school senior. That was the best thing, it got me back in my routines.
Then about two months ago, I was at home for my spring break. Mom was at work and I was just hanging out, cleaning my room, talking on the phone with friends, chatting online with other friends. I got to looking through some old pictures and like it always does it brought back memories of happy times when dad was still alive. I went upstairs into the attic thinking maybe there was some more older pictures up there.
When I climbed up into the attic and flipped on the lights I was suddenly startled and the horrific images of that horrible vacation raced through my mind. In the center of the attic was a large table, with a large stainless pole sticking up in the middle of it, almost identical to the one Mrs. Sung Li had repeatedly tortured my mother with. What was it doing here though? I was almost to scared to walk closer to it. It brought back horrible flashes and I started to shake even. I had to reach out and touch it just to make sure it was real and I wasn't halucinating. It was real, and when I flipped the switch mounted on the end of the table the huge stainless rod immediately started pumping up and down and vibrating. Frightened I quickly turned it off and ran back downstairs almost in tears.
I ran in my room and sat on the end of my bed just staring at the wall shaking. Eventually I laid down but I stayed there the rest of the day until mom got home from work. When she got in she came by my room and saw me laying there, "Are you ok sweetie?"
I just nodded my head yes.
While mom started cooking dinner, I laid there thinking, trying to decide wether or not to ask my mother why that thing was up in the attic. I decided not to though, I think I was too scared of the answer I might get.
That night I couldn't sleep. I'd been laying in bed for about an hour when I saw the hallway light turn on from underneath my bedroom door. Then I heard mom walking by. I tip-toed over to my bedroom door and listened closer. I could hear her going up in the attic and my heart immediately started to beat twice as fast.
When I heard the attic door shut, I quietly cracked mine open and tip-toed down the hallway to the stairs leading up into the attic. Quietly I crept up the stairs until I was at the door. I put my ear to the door and listened in. Quiet at first, but moments later I heard that awlful sound of the table being turned on. Soon I could hear my mother start to moan and get louder and louder. I didn't know what to think or what to do, I just kept listening. I could hear the wood floor screeching and the image of my mother up on top of the table with the huge stainless rob pumping inside her raced through my mind.
It went on for close to thirty minutes until finally I heard my mother cry out and then a thud. Moments later I heard the machine cut off and I immediately turned and hurried away, back to my room.
As I laid in my bed, my heart pounding, I watched the shadow of mom sneaking back to her bedroom. I didn't know what to think but I didn't sleep much that night, just stared at the ceiling all night.
The next morning I was still asleep when mom left for work. I like to sleep late and since it was forever before I finally fell asleep that night I slept until almost noon. I got up and sat at the couch watching TV eating a bowl of cereal in my nighties.
Then mom called. She was at work, "Sweetie can you check in my bathroom, I think I might have left my curling iron on."
"Yeah sure."
"Thanks sweetie, I gotta get back to work," she said before saying bye.
I finished my bowl of cereal and then went to check her curling iron, sure enough she'd left it on.
After turning it off, a bit of curiousity hit me. I got real nosey and then started looking through mom's dresser drawers. I wasn't looking for anything in particular but I was curious and wanted to snoop. I'd just about given up when in the back of her bottom drawer, I found a large bottle of lubricant. I knew right away what it was for. Then curiousity really sank in. I opened the top and smelt it, it smelt good. Then for a moment I just stood in a daze holding it. Thinking. Curiousity got the best of me that day and I took the bottle of lubricant and nervously headed upstairs.
Once in the attic, I flipped the light switch and sure enough the table was still there. I walked around it just looking at it. I looked out the small window as if checking, and then went and closed the attic door. I was almost scared to approach it.
Then I poured some of the lubricant on it and just watched it run down. It was so big. I just stood there in a daze, nervous and scared.
I stood there for probably ten minutes, too timid to move.
Finally though, I gave in and started climbing up on the table. I poured some more lubricant on it and ran my hands up and down it. I was huge. How could a girls body take such a enormous thingy?
I looked around again and leaned back and looked out the window again and then raised up and straddled it. I looked down between my legs and curiously watched as I slowly eased myself down on it. My toes instantly curled up. I'd never done it before, not with a boy and definitely not with something like this. I knew it would hurt a little at first and it did. I knew it would bleed a little at first and I did. It was cold at first, but after my body heat warmed it up I remember thinking to myself, that feels pretty good!
I did just like I'd watched mom do when they were torturing her, I went up and down. It quickly started feeling better and better and I started getting a little faster. I liked it.........
........to be continued
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