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“You can call me Mike,” I say.
“It’s a real pleasure to meet ya Mr. Mike,” Jed replies with a smile.
Over the next few hours, this old dude tells me some of the most outlandish stories I have ever heard. I think perhaps that he’s been drinking too much moonshine.
He tells me about being dirt poor, living in the hills of Tennessee, and striking oil one day while out hunting on his property. He goes on to tell me that he now lives in a mansion in Beverly Hills and has over 60 million dollars in the bank.
I try to keep from laughing at him and just go along with it.
He even shows me a picture of his family taken in front of his mansion. The photo shows him with three other people, dressed similar in hillbilly style clothing.
He points out his mother-in-law, Granny, a frail looking old woman in a floor length pattern dress. He shows me his daughter, Elly May, a beautiful young woman, who has a thin waist but her dress covers her legs to below the knees and her dress is too puffed out to see the rest of her figure. Jed also points out his cousin Pearl’s son, Jethro, a big tall, goofus looking young man.
Jed starts telling me all about his family and how tough it has been trying to raise them up in the ‘big city’. He tells me how hard it has been for his daughter, Elly, to find a ‘beau to court her’.
He says that she just turned 17 and how Granny says that she will be an old maid if she isn’t ‘hitched’ by 18 years of age.
I just keep going along with his crazy stories and nod my head.
Jed says that Elly May just likes to play with her critters and to ‘shinny up’ trees, go stump jumping and just to get herself dirty playing outside. He says that she acts like a tomboy all the time.
He says that he would do anything to get her to learn to be a lady. He thinks that Granny is too old fashioned to teach Elly May the new ways of living as a lady in Beverly Hills.
I just can’t help myself with all this insanity so I decide to make up a few stories of my own.
I tell Jed, “You know that’s a shame. Such a beautiful young woman should attend a proper girl’s finishing school. I used to tutor at one before I started my own business. I’ve tutored many young women to be proper ladies.”
Jed says, “Well, my Elly May don’t take too kindly to them schools. She tried some but didn’t get along with the other girls. They laugh and kinda poked fun at her.”
