my sister is 3 years older than me. grew up in a very sheltered normal chinese american family.

— ------ early disclaimer and request for sincere opinions ----

a lot of little things led me to believe or want to believe that she'd actually be down for what i was down for, but a lot of things have always made me think otherwise - to this day i don't fuckin know whether to try crossing a line overtly with her to find out... i wonder everytime i see her or think of her.. if any of you deduce anything that would help me figure out whether she might be down or whether i was and am being foolishly hopeful and not seeing this for as they were and are, please please do let me know your opinion. i am genuinely curious and appreciate sincere opinions on this matter!

— -------------------------

my older sister is 5'4" very americanized chinese american girl, straight black hair, skinny legs, she only runs and doesn't lift, used to cheer in high school, so she's skinny, but her body is by no means some hot gym insta-thot appearing, perky C-cup breasts, small pink areolas. honestly i'd give her face a 6 out of 10, if i saw her on the street I would not be amazed or super impressed, but she was skinny with a naturally fairly stacked body and available for my mega-virgin ass so for all I cared she was a 10 outta 10 back then.

for a while (moving between houses and back and forth) - so multiple years - I fantasized about her. at first it started with using a mirror to look under the bathroom door to see her getting out of the shower (90% sure she was aware, i was not very subtle), I have always been the best-looking sibling and her friends would always comment on how good looking her youngest brother one (not tooting my horn, talking and thinking out loud as I write this), then it progressed to jacking off into her panties, sniffing through her hamper, for those of you who have actually done this stuff - you probably know the deep sense of shame and guilt after you nut that I am referring to - the more fringe and bold my behavior slowly pushing the limits further and further, the exponentially more shame that rocked me to my core after every cum.

but as I got bolder and well, hornier, I began cupping her breasts in her sleep

for 1 summer, where i was a entering undergraduate in the fall, and she was going to be a senior at her university (did not go to the same, but same -state) -- i was to with her in her on-campus house she shared with 3 other sorority sisters. none of them would be there that summer, so the whole house (3 floors, she lived on the 2nd) was ours. the room on the top floor subletted her room to a graduate asian student who i literally never saw the entire summer.

so now we were spending everyday together, no supervision whatsoever, i took summer session classes (random, but enough for full-time status) at the university that summer, she had no plans for the summer other than to hang out with friends and study for the MCAT.

— ---------------------------------------------

i disgress, more backstory,

what's more, just growing up in the asian household we did, sleepign in the same bed was no big deal, in fact we had done it multipel times for sometimes extended periods growing up (mostly out of necessity, lack of bedrooms and space). but here i was, experiencing raging hormones, sexually frustrated (understated), and I was going to be sleeping every night in the same bed as my sister.

— -------------------------------------------------

back to that glorious summer --> she had a full bed, i remember i'd (she NEVER requested, i just did this i think partially because i was embarassed and did not want her to think i thought of her like the way id did) always intentionally sleep opposite head to toe as she did when we getting into bed.

sorority and all, she was a heavy drinker (not dysfunctionally so, but, linger back at 2am after hanging out with friends at a bar, and instantly fall into deep deep drunk-sleep (i'm talking, makeup still on, clothes she went out with still on, heels not always fully taken off type K.O. sleep)

I would constantly check to make sure she was fully asleep as I started to explore and do other things, by callling her name, tryign to shake her up, spraying water on her, that type of thing, wouldnt have known what to do if i ever got caught, would probably have been disowned by parents etc etc so I did all these things with a very very strong fear of the consequences if i were to be discovered.

best summer ever though really.

i always pushed the envelope further when she was drunk-passed out sleeping, but for average days, it began with me rubbing my pre-cum on her toes and jacking off rubbing my cock on her thighs, gently feeling her breasts and nipples, cupping her breasts, and even getting my cock up into the folds of her lips (never pressed in past her teeth area at this point). she was a deep sleeper in generally but not comically deep like some of these fake stories drifting around.

the closest to any true action i ever got until later (read on ;)) - was one night when she fell asleep and draped her thigh over my chest at some point, i would always wait until she was asleep at this point, so my already erect penis began dripping precum the second i was able to manuever her downwards a little bit so that the tip of my penis was sandwiched between her inner thigh and my lower abdomen area, my erect penis dripping in pre-cum in-contact with her panties.

i positioned myself so that her leg draped over my body created a space for me to face her in such a way as my hard-on could be pushed into the space between her thighs, and allow the shaft of my cock to naturally lodge itself against her pussy lips. I wanted to enter her so fuckin bad.

instead slowly shifted her knee to fold, forming a tight grip on my cock between her thigh and calf, and slowly began to thrust my hips, careful to check her breathing etc. i gently cupped her right breast, kissed her lips, and quickly felt a huge eruption forming in my balls, the cum shot - the streams were landing all over her thigh and a few strands landed right on the now-drenched material covering her panties and pussy lips. i kept thrusting slowly and quickly came again, I felt so so so guilty and ashamed, but couldn't stop thrusting and quickly came again on her. she didn't wake from any of this, i was very deliberate, wiped her up as good as i could using my blanket (she had one too). got outta bed, found myself hard again looking at her other foot at the end of the bed, rubbed my cock tip against it and jerked off again to what had happened, and i truly don't think she had a single clue that anything ever happened or what I had done etc.

— -------------------- why im confused and why i want feedback ----------------------

she always had and always does still in totality treat me as a true little brother (innocent, pure-intensions and vibes), which is what throws me off, I find myself debating whether she's just way better at hiding other thoughts and feelings but a lot of times i find myself thinking she's never had incestuous feelings just because I don't think she would ever have had that notion in her head to begin with.

— ------------------------

things got better when she went to university an hour away, cause on her last summer while in undergraduate, i moved into her apartment on campus for the summer, I took classes and so did she. we shared the same bed and our parents weren't around. her roommates (sorority sisters) had all left for the summer, so it was us in this apartment, and because we were away from home, she was her normal partying self - she'd come back DRUNK as fuck basically every single weekend, some weekdays too, this was when I began to really be able to explore and do more with her.

I remember excitedly waiting up for her to get back, me pretending to be deep asleep on a corner of the bed. she'd pass out, once I was sure she was asleep, oh my god. she was a really heavy drinker, prone to black-outs type of sorority drinker. i started off really gentle not knowing how asleep she really was, but soon realized I could literally enter her and she would not even know it had ever happened.

i started off slowly, testing the boundaries, sliding my cock between her legs and against her panties which progressed to me sliding off her panties or pajamas or pants or skirt etc, she always took her bra off so i always had quick access to her breasts and when she didn't but was drunk, i'd unhook her and take it fof myself. mind you, i'd move so carefully and delibrately, getting her panties off could take me a literal hour sometimes

but I'd grab her perky breasts in my hands, kiss her passionately on the lips, slide my cock on her pussy lips. i kept getting bolder and bolder over the days and weeks,

As the summer sessions were wrapping up, a few weeks left of me being able to do these things - I finally mustered up the courage. I remember she went out drinking with some sorority sisters who had graduated and were moving away, she drank really really heavily. got back super drunk, I knew i could get away with a lot.

I slid her skirt off, panties off, jacket off, blouse, bra, she was butt-naked passed-out next to me on that full-sized bed. She shifted and was laying sideways facing the doorway, i layed down naked behind her, shifted my cock to her pussy entrance, rubbed gently, savoring the amazing feeling of my dripping cock head against her hairy (probably didn't anticipate sex with her sibling haha..), and slowly slid it in, a blanket over us in case she woke up - but at this point if she woke i'd have been fucked either way. I slid my cock in, and to my amazement and disappointment, the wet warmth led me orgasm damn near cum instantly, all of my cock hadn't even entered her and I began cumming. I reflexively started to pull back but feeling overcame my better judgment and i thrust my cock all the way down my balls into my sister's pussy as I came inside my fucking sister, jet after jet, pulse after pulse, that was my most memorable orgasm of my life. it was so fucking hot and mind-blowing I was easily able to keep the now sky-high feelings of shame and disgust.

I gently laid her on her back, i tried pouring some water in her mouth hoping she'd swallow and help clean up the cum that lined various parts of her mouth and throat, but she choked on the water and began coughing really forcefully, that was the single most terrified moment of my life that she'd awake or was conscious now.. in retrospect i do wonder if somehow she was aware as to any degree of any detail of what had been happening or what was happening particularly during this night.. as she violently coughed coughed coughed, sat up and coughed more for a while, before slowly but seemingly delibrately laying back down with her face in her pillow, and knees brought out to each respective side and upwards, loosely, presenting direct and clear access to her vagina and ass. i was genuinely so horny all my fears and concerns oculd not dissuade me from slowly positioning myself with my arms propping my upper body over her back, and my knees brought in a kneeling stance so my cock hung with the tip less than an inch from my asshole. I put on a condom, put lube on the condom, and slowly tried pressing the head of my cock in her ass but very quickly realized tehre was no way it was going in without using so much force it'd 100% wake her up and probably cause some damage to her butthole in a very obvious way. so i took the condom off, and started using my propped arms to swing me gently at an angle so my hard cock was between her legs and my shaft would draft across her pussy lips as i rocked back and forth.

she was still coughing sporadically at this point, like single coughs, from choking on the water, but she wasnt responding to my sublte attempts to wake her without culpability (laying down as far as i could, then pretending to kick in my sleep and see if that startled her, none of that did so i kept going further.

I inserted my cock back into her warm pussy again, i didnt even need to pump, just squeezing my cock (like tightening your fist) made me feel so fucking good inside of her. I quickly came a second time in her. a third, a fourth, and finally a fifth (different interval breaks taken each time, none more than a minute or so, and no motion other than squeezing my cock needed each time to get rock hard again and to cum from. i gently pumped in and out of her pussy for my sixth, seventh, eighth, and finally ninth cum inside of her before finally slowly pulling out.

9 times i came inside my older sister's pussy. I came 9 fucking times inside her warm pussy. the most ive ever cum back to back with any other girl has been 3x maybe once or twice in my life in total.

I slowly dressed her back up, put my clothes back on, and laid her back on her side facing the edge of the bed. I started jerking my cock inches from her face, also using her left hand to grasp my cock with my hand over hers, i quickly came into her hand, at this point no cum was exiting the tip of my penis when i was cumming and the cums started to be a bit painful. i went downstairs and took a quick shower, by the time i was back in the room i felt ready to go all over again. when i went to take her panties off, i realized that so much of my cum had been in her that was leaking out, that her panties, ass, parts of the thigh and a large pancake sized area of the bed below her pussy were absolutely drenched..

i rolled her to the other side of the bed, and put new panties on her (was able to find a matching pair she had in her drawer). debated going to sleep or wraping up and cleaning up any other evidence i could find of funny business having happened, but as soon as i looked over at her mouth agape on her pillow, tongue hanging over her bottom teeth looking wet and pink and amazing, i found myself on my knees with my penis facing her mouth and face (she was on her side facing my side). part of me convinced myself she knew what had been happening and had been enjoying it and that i;d never get this opportunity again in my life and that was enough to overcome all the concerns, doubts, worries, shame, guilt, and otherwise. she by this point had ceased coughing from choking on the water altogether and was seemingly deep asleep with regular breathing and no movement, i edged forward and slowly dipped my cock tip and pushed more and more of my shaft into her mouth. i pushed further and further, felt my cock hit the back areas of her throat, and it was at a point then that her mouth made a tight seal around the shaft of my cock as she made a gagging type reflex creating an indescribably amazing feeling of the head of my cock and the back of her throat. i didn't move, was concerned she'd wake once again, but didn't really care anymore at this point, i had a feeling rinse over me, that i'd literally marry this girl and have rabbit sex all day every day for the rest of our lives if she woke and was as into it as me (i remember thinking that, stupid lol)

i kept pushing further and she kept gagging harder and harder, i pushed it so far in i am pretty sure i fully occluded her ability to breath from her mouth for a few seconds, this felt so fuckin good but she suddenly propped herself up onto an elbow and as i pulled out, she threw up onto the bedsheets, her eyes opened halfway ish, and i really genuinely thought i was cooked at that point, but she weakly asked for water, drank it, and plopped back down into instant slumber (appeared so at least), seemingly unaware of why she puked, that my cock was a foot away from her at that point, and i was naked from the bottom down.

she only made occassiionaly gentle grunts as i changed the bedsheets and swapped the blankets, i whispered before doing so, but she even slightly assisted me in removing her clothes by lifting an arm as i lifted it, etc, as i said i was putting her into clean sleep clothes for her sake,

i had her dressed with no bra or panties, and a long extremely extremely thin (so thin it was nearly transluscent) green long shirt type thing i had found in her drawer. soon she was seemingly again deep asleep, i was pretty sure she was on board at this point, still i was cautious, i climbed into bed (she was on her side facing the wall, knees raised halfway between fetal and prone position) and effectively spooned her, my naked cock shaft lightly lining her pussy lips with my head up past the top of her clit, resting on her pubic mound area

with her and I fully dressed, I passed out quickly (I remember falling asleep at the desk sitting up, so be as inconspicuous as possible) - i was going to fuck her again but passed out (wasnt trying to, think iw as just exhausted)

when i woke she was already in the kitchen downstairs with food and breakfast prepared for us, no words were spoken either way in regards to anything that happened, absolutely nothing even slightly not-completely-innocent was said. part of me thought omg did i reallly get away with that? but the other, horny darker side knew she mustve saw i was naked from the bottom half when she woke, not to mention the contents of her vagina probably still coming out when she woke and stood up, or the whole choking ordeals etc etc. but it truly seemed like she was oblivious of everything and so i remain confused uncertain, hopeful but doubtful that my sister might be down??!

anyways, she's 34 now and i'm 31. i still think about all these experiences and want to fuck her again so bad - i think it's just the raw turn-on of it being so taboo and i keep hoping one day she'll just tell me that she wants to fuck or knows what happened etc etc but idk at this point, feels like probably will ever happen. but fuck. i think about these experiences nearly every day of my waking life