The day started off like any other but the events that happened by the end will be with me forever. My feelings for the night ahead were both excitement and nervousness. After a long hard week at work, I was going out with my favorite girl. I entered my little hole in the wall apartment, and started to unload everything from my pockets. I needed to get dressed for a night of drinking and dancing. If I was lucky, maybe something more would happen tonight but it went further than I ever imagined.
I empty my pockets on the coffee table and walk over to the answering machine which read zero more times than an actual number. Continuing my walk, I head for the bedroom. I remove my socks and shoes, making a small pile. Re-hanging my suit and tie, I take off the dress shirt and add it to the pile of my shoes and socks as I make my way to the bathroom. I start to take a steaming hot scented bubble bath so that my body would be relaxed and smelling great from the night ahead. I finished my bath and began preparing my body by shaving all the parts that my girlfriend Kate enjoyed touching. I applied her favorite cologne that she gave me for this special night then I dressed in my best looking casual attire. I left my apartment to wait outside for Kate. I waited for her in my Ford Escort Wagon. The beauty arrived early as usual and waved at me as she pulled in along side of my car. She climbed into my car and we kissed passionately.
She then asked me, “Did you remember to bring your car keys?” I replied no as I dangled the keys in front of her eyes. “Smart ass.” She playfully grabs the keys from my fingertips. I instructed her to drive slowly so that I may admire her beautiful figure and dazzling outfit. On our way to the night club, we talked about most everything that was happening in our lives since our last date. We finally arrived at our favorite club and sat at a table close to the dance floor.
I turned to her, “Drinks or dance?” Her eyes met mine and let me know the answer. I lead my chocolate queen to the dance floor, following a bit behind to get a good look at her plump buttocks as her hips moved in time with the music, almost causing me to trip over my own tongue. We finally made it to the dance floor. Kate spun around to face me and pulled me in close to her plentiful breasts.
“You were staring at my behind again, weren’t you?” Kate asked me.
“You know that I was.” I whispered into her ear.
She responded by asking, “How does it look?”
“It looks good enough to eat.” I whispered back.
She remarked, “Only to eat?”
I answered confused, “What else do you have in mind?”
My love said in a low sexy voice, “You will see when we get back to your place.” We danced until we began to get thirsty then made our way over the bar. To the bartender she asked for a Long Island Iced Tea and a rum and coke. We went back to our table and sat closely. We began to kiss slowly as her fingertips started to stroke along my growing erection. She calmly whispered, “Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or is my touch causing that to happen?”
I groaned, “It is definitely your touch causing the roll of quarters in my pocket.” A person behind us began to speak; it was the waiter bringing the drinks. After a few more rounds and five more trips to the dance floor, we left the night club for my apartment.
Kate and I walked into my apartment kissing and groping each other. We stumbled toward the bedroom, leaving our clothes in small piles along the way. Once we hit the bed, we were both extremely turned on and naked. All at once, Kate excused herself to the bathroom and took her purse. I thought it was odd at the time because I had never seen her do that before but she might have been dealing with feminine issues. My beauty returned to my bed and everything seemed normal so Kate processed to perform fellatio on me. She moved into the sixty-nine position over top of me lowering her sweet dark chocolate vagina onto my awaiting moist mouth as I began licking the folds of her lower lips while plunging my long pointed tongue in and out of her creamy pink love canal. I began to moan with delight as her tender loving mouth and tongue continued to suck and lick on my penis. She then screamed out. I froze thinking that I did something wrong but she whispered encouragement to keep going and that it felt great. We continued like that for many hours. Kate finally moved to impale herself onto my rod.
A few more hours of her riding me passed before she stopped abruptly and collapsed with a thud on top of me. The wind was knocked out of me and it was then that I realized that my angel was not breathing. I started to scream her name repeatedly in hopes of waking her up then I tried to roll her off of me without success. On my last attempt, I saw the blood coming from her nose and mouth. I began to yell and scream, beating my head with my fists, and crying.
“NO! THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING… THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING. KATE DIDN’T DIE ON ME!” I kept saying aloud, more for myself then for anything else. I composed myself enough to realize that my phone was next to us on the bed. I called my neighbor, Mary who was not only a good friend but was also a nurse before moving to Michigan. I punched in the numbers and the phone began to ring.
On the fifth ring, Mary answered, “This better be good.” All I could do was scream into the phone about how much I needed her in my apartment and to get there as soon as she could. “Okay, I’ll be right over.”
After what seemed like an eternity, Mary rushed into my apartment and straight for my bedroom. She was panting like she had just ran a mile. Mary informed me that 911 was on their way but after seeing the predicament, Mary called them again to see if she could move Kate’s body off of me before the dispatcher could reply, the police officer announced that he was coming in.
He followed the sound of Mary’s voice into the bedroom and could only exclaim, “Oh my God, what happened here?” I tried to speak but only blaring unintelligible words of disgust. At that point, my brain shut down from the stress of everything that was happening. I woke up sometime later on my couch and sprang to my feet. As I stood there, I felt Mary’s arm around my back as to comfort me while I watched my girlfriend’s lifeless shell of a body being wheeled from my apartment. The police officers began questioning me about what had happened and asked if I had ever used cocaine.
I answered truthfully, “Yes, I attempted to use it once a few months ago but instead of inhaling, I exhaled and blew the cocaine across the table.”
“Will you be willing to take a drug test at the hospital?” They asked.
“Sure if you take me and bring me home.”
An officer responded that it would not be a problem. After a few more questions, I put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, slipped on my shoes. We went outside to the officer’s patrol car to take me for my drug test.
I returned home to find Mary waiting for me.
“Is there anything I can do?” She asked softly.
In a low almost silent voice, I quickly answered no. She hugged me and in a soothing voice told me to call her if there was anything at all. She will be there for me. With that, she gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead and returned to her apartment. I curled up on the couch, turned on the television, and sat there for weeks. My body was numb while staring at the television, only moving when necessary. I replayed the events over and over in my head like a detective novel.
Thinking to myself, How did I not realize Kate used cocaine? What should I have done differently to save my first girlfriend who was my first lover? Would I break every woman that I touch? I thought to myself that if I start telling people that I am gay or bisexual that I would never have to relive or deal with this issue again of a lover passing away.
After thirteen years of trying to convince myself of being something that I am not. At the age of thirty-six I can admit to myself and everyone else who and what I am which is a straight man. Last summer, I met a lovely woman that I fell in lust with and found out that I could once again have a relationship with a woman. Even though, we are no longer involved she made me realize that women are not china dolls and not every woman will die on top of me. I met a beautiful lady on the Internet that reminds me so much of my first love, Kate, that it scares me. It scares me because their astrological signs and complexion are the same; their height and weight are almost the same that they could be identical twins.
I have given up all sexual contact with myself and anyone else for this gorgeously sweet lady. When we are married one day, it will be like I am a virgin once again. I dream her every night and the dreams could not be sweeter. One night I had a dream of us walking along a beautiful beach and she began to giggle as she pointed down to my shorts where my penis had started to rise. I woke to find my penis ejaculating into my catheter. Now I fear losing this magnificence gem of a lady to another male. I am afraid of missing what could be a wonderful life together but how does one reassure another that they would never intend to hurt them? She is afraid of getting hurt but I have done everything possible to reassure the most beautiful woman in the world that I would never hurt her physically, mentally, emotionally, or in any other way harm her. Now I sit in my apartment alone waiting for an email or an instant message from my beloved lady.
