Comments Chat TOP rating Top 300

стрелкаNew stories 68780

стрелкаAnal 12632 +2

стрелкаAsian 1564

стрелкаAss to mouth 3439

стрелкаAuthoritarian 2663

стрелкаBDSM 6033 +1

стрелкаBestiality 2924 +1

стрелкаBi-sexual 5363 +2

стрелкаBlack 1783

стрелкаBlackmail 1859

стрелкаBlowjob 17691 +3

стрелкаBody modification 1169

стрелкаBoy 1700

стрелкаCheating 4015

стрелкаCoercion 2220

стрелкаConsensual Sex 14539 +5

стрелкаCuckold 1075

стрелкаCum Swallowing 7627 +1

стрелкаDark Fantasy 5290

стрелкаDeath 785 +1

стрелкаDiary 2845 +1

стрелкаDiscipline 853

стрелкаDomination/submission 3419

стрелкаDrug 931

стрелкаErotica 3508

стрелкаExhibitionism 2823

стрелкаExtreme 881 +1

стрелкаFantastic 2201

стрелкаFantasy 11824 +1

стрелкаFemale Domination 1068

стрелкаFemale solo 2010

стрелкаFiction 31367 +2

стрелкаFirst Time 4740 +2

стрелкаFisting 290

стрелкаFoot or shoe fetish 241

стрелкаGay 2818 +2

стрелкаGothic 167

стрелкаGroup Sex 2446

стрелкаHardcore 1861

стрелкаHumiliation 1446

стрелкаIncest 9073 +2

стрелкаInterracial 1122

стрелкаJob/Place-of-work 1116

стрелкаLactation 210

стрелкаLatina 180

стрелкаLesbian 3136 +1

стрелкаMale / Female 6342 +1

стрелкаMale Domination 453

стрелкаmassage 191

стрелкаMasturbation 2113

стрелкаMature 954 +1

стрелкаMind Control 613

стрелкаMonster 270

стрелкаMurder 179 +1

стрелкаNon-consensual sex 918

стрелкаNon-Erotic 650

стрелкаOral Sex 3098

стрелкаPoem 453

стрелкаPregnant 436

стрелкаProstitution 317 +1

стрелкаRape 1008

стрелкаReluctance 651

стрелкаRomance 2121

стрелкаSchool 779

стрелкаSex Joke 689

стрелкаSlavery 238

стрелкаSpanking 288

стрелкаTeen 4473 +3

стрелкаThreesome 683

стрелкаTorture 146

стрелкаToys 233

стрелкаTranssexual 243

стрелкаTrue Story 11349 +1

стрелкаViolence 397

стрелкаVirginity 670

стрелкаVoyeurism 577

стрелкаWater Sports/Pissing 214

стрелкаWife 620

стрелкаWritten by women 813 +1


Sex games

Star Wars - Special Pants Edition

Author: Shadow Dragon

Date: 13 June 2008

Sex Joke

  • Font:

Картинка к рассказу

Just in case you think you've heard it all... We got our hands on a little known about revision of the original Star Wars movie script that substitutes the word "pants" into many of the lines...
DARTH VADER: I find your lack of pants disturbing.

DARTH VADER: General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault.

LUKE: I used to bullseye wamprats in my pants back home...

LUKE AND HAN: Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

DARTH VADER: You are unwise to lower your pants.

HAN: You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark.

HAN: Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

LANDO: That blast came from the pants! That thing's operational!

LEIA: I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

DARTH VADER: A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.

HAN: Hey, don't worry. Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

HAN: Maybe you'd like it better back in your pants, your highness.

GREEDO: Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.

HAN: Short pants is better than no pants at all.

YODA: Pants not make one great.

LUKE: I sense the conflict within you, let go of your pants!

YODA: Pants you I can, yes, mmmmhhhhmmmm....

HAN: That's because droids don't pull people's arms out of their pants when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.

HAN AND LEIA: I love pants. I know.

HAN: watch it kid or you're gonna find your pants floating home.

HAN: I thought pants smelled bad on the outside.

YODA: Your pants, you will not need them.

WUHER: Your pants. They'll have to wait outside, we don't want them here.

STORMTROOPER, LUKE AND OBI-WAN: How long have you had these pants? About three or four seasons. They're up for sale if you want them.


33092   1 1914   Rating +5.26 [154]

Add to favorites
  • Complain about a story

    * Mandatory field
Comments 15
  • Deathstalker316
    13.07.2008 07:25
    Long time Star Wars fan. Loved the joke until I realized i could picture the exact moment in the movies where the lines came from. Excuse me...must search for life...misplaced somewhere...

    Answer 0

  • Sith+Daughter
    08.07.2009 01:30
    "Your pants, you will not need them." OMG FUCKNG ROX!!!!!!!! Huge Star Wars fan here. I found I knew most of the reak words to these quotes. Don't worry, I have my life here on speed dial in case I ever need it.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.08.2009 01:11
    Most were pretty funny, but the "tremor in the pants" was hilarious.

    Answer 0

  • Fireato
    19.08.2009 18:59
    "your pants, they'll have to wait outside. we don't want them here" THE FUCK ITS HILLARIOUS! "thats because droids don't pull peoples arms out of there pants when they loose. chebaccas are know to do that" FUCKING FUNNY AS HELL!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    29.08.2009 15:05
    Im slightly disturbed that i remember ALL the scenes of these quotes...
    Sorry, i must have dropped my life somewhere on the floor.... :(

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    31.08.2009 04:02
    dud i seem to have lost my life somewhere. remember all these scenes. very funny

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.11.2009 02:26
    THESE JOKES ARE WIN

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    06.07.2010 17:56
    i recognised your foul pants when i was brought on board
    lol

    heres 1
    DARTH VADER: your pants are weak, luke. :P

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.02.2011 23:00
    POTATO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    12.05.2011 09:38
    You've hit the ball out the park! Incredilbe!

    Answer 0

  • ryan133pal
    16.05.2011 13:00
    gos han should suck his dick

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.07.2012 00:22
    Obi-wan:I sence a disturbance in the pants

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    22.10.2012 02:17
    Ascender- I've wondered about that drink, too. I deidecd that it was hot chocolate with a slice of orange because oranges and chocolate go well together, whereas I'd rather not put an orange in my coffee.I didn't design this theme (or the other one), I just had the good taste to choose it. It's just very me, at least for the moment.The problems with my back seem to be caused by muscle neck/spine interaction. The muscles knot and spasm, my neck, back and hips fall out of alignment, pinching nerves and setting off other muscles. The problem is from the neck down. I've seen a lot of improvement since I began to see the chiropractor. Unfortunately school has begun again. This means over an hour's drive one way followed by hours sitting on very hard wooden chairs. I don't think normally it will be quite this bad but on Tues. I had to deal with my car rather than going home to rest; I only have 2 classes on Tuesdays. Thursdays are going to be hell and there's just no getting aroun

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.05.2013 05:15
    Obi-Wan: Use the pants, Luke.

    lolz

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.01.2014 16:45
    pants to pussy or dick

    Answer 0

Sign Up and leave comment

Last stories by Shadow Dragon

arrowChat +1