Take the first annual, Choose-A-Urinal Challenge! Men should ace this test (or suffer the wrath of men everywhere)... women are on their own. But, there IS a code of the rest room that MUST be followed. The, following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use."
(Sample)
X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Indicates men are at stalls 3 and 6.
You mission is to identify correctly, based on proper urinal etiquette, the stall at which you should stand. Good luck!
Easy Section
1. Urinals 2 and 4 are occupied.
X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 6. It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.
2. Urinal 1 is occupied.
X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 6. Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.
Kind of Tricky Section
3. No urinals are occupied.
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 1 or 6. By choosing one of these, you are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."
4. Urinals 2, 4 and 6 are occupied.
X X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 1. You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium rest rooms where the herd thunders in.
Subtle, Tricky, but Important to Know Section
5. Urinals 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.
X X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The correct answer is 4. Believe it or not, 1 or 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice it to say, only we men would understand!
VERY Tricky Indeed Section
6. Urinals 1, 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.
X X X X
1 2 3 4 5 6
Enter your choice here: __
The answer is NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for God's sake, man, use a stall with a door!
Other Parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
I don't think I need to tell you, but absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is the highest offense.
NO Singing. Period.
Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again."
Who'd have thought SO much goes into a seemingly simple process?
