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Sex games

The word FUCK

Author: Shadow Dragon

Date: 21 June 2008

Sex Joke

  • Font:

Картинка к рассказу

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
· It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
· It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
· It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary).
· It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).
As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations...
Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."
Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"
Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."
Aggression "FUCK YOU!"
Disgust "Fuck me."
Confusion "What the fuck.......?"
Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"
Despair "Fucked again..."
Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."
Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"
Lost "Where the fuck are we."
Disbelief "UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!"
Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"
Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"
Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."
Directions "Fuck off."
Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"
It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal- "Mother fucker."
It can be political- "Fuck Dan Quayle!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history...
"What the fuck was that?"
- Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?"
- Captain of the Titanic
"That's not a real fucking gun."
- John Lennon
"Who's gonna fucking find out?"
- Richard Nixon
"Heads are going to fucking roll."
- Anne Boleyn
"Let the fucking woman drive."
- Commander of Space Shuttle
"What fucking map?"
- "Challenger," Mark Thatcher
"Any fucking idiot could understand that."
- Albert Einstein
"It does so fucking look like her!"
- Picasso
"How the fuck did you work that out?"
- Pythagoras
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?"
- Michaelangelo
"Fuck a duck."
- Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its fucking there!"
- Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?"
- Joan of Arc
"Scattered fucking showers my ass."
- Noah
"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head."
- John F. Kennedy


61947   1 2935   Rating +7.07 [434]

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Comments 60
  • Anonymous+reader
    23.06.2008 12:15
    Who fucking cares?

    Answer 0

  • watchme
    25.06.2008 14:20
    Big fucking deal

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.06.2008 03:36
    Fucking great.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.06.2008 05:07
    So. Fucking. Awesome.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.06.2008 01:03
    oh my fucking god!

    Answer 0

  • camotodragon
    05.07.2008 04:11
    what the fuck?

    Answer 0

  • aaaaaaaaaaa
    06.07.2008 21:54
    fucking aye

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.07.2008 20:12
    Dude that is not his Joke . Its a joke byt he Indian God man Osho or Rajneeshed hailed by Dicrodian Pope Robert anton . And who cares ? Apprently we do .. Little READER and dont steal stuff .. Just try and be original it wont make us as a human race look really stupid ..

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.07.2008 22:46
    fucking good tho i fuckin' heard it before, but still is fucking funny!

    Answer 0

  • Ying
    12.07.2008 02:27
    This fucker seems to know alot about himself

    Answer 0

  • sharp+cheadar
    12.07.2008 02:48
    altho I have hear the "history of the 'f word'" flash on many sites this "joke" as it is filed goes beyond that of the flash and expands a bit more creativity. 1-10 10 being the best i'd give it an 8

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    12.07.2008 10:01
    Fucking great!

    Answer 0

  • Pussycat
    12.07.2008 10:31
    Doesn't matter if its not original.
    Jokes are meant to be shared.
    Who can prove yours is not original?
    Keep up the good work, man!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.07.2008 09:02
    absolutely brilliant lmfao

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.07.2008 18:30
    made me crack up

    Answer 0

  • gigi
    13.07.2008 20:16
    good man

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.07.2008 03:02
    anyone who said any fucking thing about this not being fucking original who the fuck cares. good show mate, made me fucking piss myself. FUCK

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.07.2008 14:48
    heheh funny bt he/she got it off youtube

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.07.2008 21:12
    this is so fuckin funny

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.07.2008 01:50
    theyhave this as a video on youtube for a long time so unoriginal so fuck off

    Answer 0

  • sundown
    28.07.2008 03:57
    whoever got it on youtube, got it from the George Carlin acts in the 70's-80's

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.08.2008 19:30
    lol fuck those damn other jokes

    Answer 0

  • legaci+shuntel
    21.08.2008 23:46
    dat wuz supa funny i think its reallly gona hlp me n English 3....lmao!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.09.2008 04:27
    you are a joke thief!! at least give george carlin credit for his own work

    Answer 0

  • Nairobbery
    18.09.2008 20:08
    Holy fuck! That was fucking enlightening... It doesn't matter where you got it - you the fucking man

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    18.09.2008 22:47
    o yes fucking hell....../;'

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.09.2008 13:54
    holy fuck

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.09.2008 13:54
    As every part of a sentence: "Well, fuck the fucking fucker."

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    01.11.2008 06:35
    Humor: Funniest fucking thing i've ever read

    Answer 0

  • abohanafy
    11.11.2008 17:55
    fuck off , fuck up and fuck down , fucking any way

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.11.2008 15:12
    FuCk me Oh YA FUcK mee Fuck da HEll OUT of ME!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.11.2008 07:03
    Amazing...I've used that word so many fucking times and I NEVER realized it's grammatical representations...

    Answer 0

  • GrammerMan
    04.12.2008 01:55
    every part of speech except a preposition (under, over, ect...)

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    05.12.2008 08:44
    Its use shows a lack of fucking vocabulary !

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    05.12.2008 10:40
    fuck that joke was funnier than fuck

    Answer 0

  • CallMeMsKrystal
    05.12.2008 13:15
    That was hilarious!!! Gotta love it....Good job Pa

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    05.12.2008 23:53
    funny, but you stole it from George Carlin.

    Answer 0

  • pussy+face
    09.12.2008 19:23
    LMAO

    Answer 0

  • Dutch
    07.01.2009 19:36
    Fuck you, you fucker. Go fuck yourself, you fucker!

    Answer 0

  • A
    A
    28.02.2009 11:02
    I fucking love this word!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.03.2009 15:23
    ya good job

    u can watch youtube videos
    i seen this on it so ur a fag
    u should come up with somthing by yourself

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.03.2009 15:25
    w/e

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.07.2009 03:52
    Actually, the most versatile word in the english language is "shit." Still funny though. And I bet Michaelangelo did think that if he didn't say it! Poor fellow, died in prison...

    Answer 0

  • Scatlocke
    28.08.2009 23:38
    Or my personal favorite..... Fuck you you fucking fuck

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    11.11.2009 14:10
    yo maybe they copyd him

    Answer 0

  • The+Man
    19.07.2010 22:17
    You fucking moran you fuck up the fucking car now how am i going to fucking fix the fucking problem. Haha

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.04.2011 23:51
    "I didn't think they'd get this fucking mad"
    - Saddam Hussein

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.07.2011 03:31
    There is a well known video out there thats alot like this, but who really gives a fuck? Still funny. The "quotes" at the end are what get me.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.08.2011 00:00
    if i had a dollar every time it said "fuck" id hav alot ofmoney!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.01.2012 02:47
    InFUCKingcredible, but need to add part of a word "unFUCKingbelievable

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    31.01.2012 00:52
    Say fuck you five times in the morning it clears your throut

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2012 17:43
    Hola Mary bfcomo estas?.Soy Vicky tu fan. algun dia me gustaria ccoonerte en persona,y ademas ,deberias actuar en una pelicula nueva en donde fueras una Cenicienta por ejemplo .Pero no te preocupes porque las historias de Cenicienta siempre terminan con un final feliz .Ok ,espero que me respondas .BesosPD :Feliz cumple,hasta desearia que fueras mi hermana mayor .Si te gusta ,venime a visitar a Cordoba,en Argentina,y tengo que admitir que te ves y sos como una diosa en la tele y en la vida real.Chau

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.09.2012 15:30
    So where it to find,

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.07.2013 19:25
    "It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful)."
    B-but fucking is actually an adverb in that example.....

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.07.2013 00:53
    "It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful)."
    B-but fucking is actually an adverb in that example.....

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    11.07.2013 00:53
    "It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful)."
    B-but fucking is actually an adverb in that example.....

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    22.05.2015 02:50
    You wrote greeting twice so fuck u

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.03.2016 01:01
    ALSO A GEORGE CARLIN BIT!!! ASSHOLE!!!

    Answer 0

  • Clover+Ernest
    29.07.2017 06:04
    All these fucking bitches getting pissy over the fact that Shadow Dragon is sharing a George Carlin joke, AND adding his own content to it, yet hiding behind the curtain I'd anonymity. And please, you dumbasses saying, "cone up with something original and stop stealing other peoples jokes" so then I guess you've NEVER repeated a joke you heard somewhere else to someone?

    Pulease. Just fuck off and quit your petty squabbling.

    Clover out.

    Answer 0

  • Clover+Ernest
    29.07.2017 21:21
    All these fucking bitches getting pissy over the fact that Shadow Dragon is sharing a George Carlin joke, AND adding his own content to it, yet hiding behind the curtain I'd anonymity. And please, you dumbasses saying, "cone up with something original and stop stealing other peoples jokes" so then I guess you've NEVER repeated a joke you heard somewhere else to someone?

    Pulease. Just fuck off and quit your petty squabbling.

    Clover out.

    Answer 0

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