what ever happenz happens

Date: 16 August 2009

Blowjob, Fiction, Cum Swallowing, Incest

Font:

this is my first story after the short break i had from writing.

Also be sure to read my other storys

all comments arw welcome

ok here goes

hi my name is fred i live in k-town also known as kingston upon thames i am fourteen years old and i am about fiive foot and ten centimeters tall i have brouwn hair and Light skin

ich haser ein swester (yeah im also half german) she is thirteen years old and slightly shorter than me she has thr same skin type and also the same colour hair

and now the story begins

i woke up one morning and as i opemed my eyes i couldnt feel my left arm so i used my right hand to pick up my left arm and then i noticed that i must of fell asleep on it so while my arm was dead i decided to have fun with the situation so i monoveded my dead arm to my balls and began playing with them it felt like some one else was doing it but it was methen all of a sudden my left arm became suddenly cold amd three seconds i had full controll of my arms i got up off my bed looked around to get a sense of my surroundings and i walked to my door

as i oped my door i noticed that i had left the light on in my room so i when back and turned it off

i walked downstairs and looked around for my mum but i could not find her so i asked my sister who is called liz wheres mum she said out side shopping

so i sat down on the sofa, adjusted the cusion and reached out for the remote and clicked on the television (i get this little secuence in you mind was played in your house)(you kknow that program house what a load of shit honestly therw is a guy who is always walking with a walking stick he is a doctor and he cant fiix his own fucking leg honsetly)

while the tv was on im going to the toilet to have a shower but i need to get my clothes first
(you know that retared advert of that little boy wanting to go to pauls toilet because he needs a poo what the fuck was the director thinking when he made that adverthonestly i rwmember when i was young thr last thing i wamted to dl was use someone elses toilet becaise it was scary and also you also run the chance of getting aids from the seat or something. But the eastern european boy is ok with that their own toilet must be a shit hole. If i was his mu ide slap him one and say go to the fucking toilet now you son of a bitch now im diegressing)

i said why are you telling me this

she said so you dont go in to the toilet

as she walked really fast up stairs to her room i wwalked at the speed of light to the bathroom and hid inside the closet

lilly walked into the bathroom and started to have a bath

once she had a bath she put on her clothes and left i opend the closet door and as i walked out the bathroom i noticed that emily was not wearing her t shirt so i axed her why are you not wearing your tv shirt

she said

the reason my i am not waering my t shirt is because im too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt so sexy it hurts and im too sexy for millan to sexy for millan new york and japan am too sexy for your party too sexy for your party no was im disco danccing im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalk
im to sexy for my car too sexy for my car too sexy by farr and im too sexy for my hat too sexy for my hat what do you think about that im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalkIM TOO SEXY FOR MY VAT TOO SEXY FOR MY cAT poor pussy poor pussy cat im too sexy for my love too sexy for mt love loves goimg to leave
and finaly im to sexy for this speach that ive just given you fredo

after she had said that i walked over to her slaped her accros her face and we had sex for hours the highlights where that she was playing with my balls with a wooden spachula and i enjoyed it

this is my first story after the short break i had from writing.

Also be sure to read my other storys

all comments arw welcome

ok here goes

hi my name is fred i live in k-town also known as kingston upon thames i am fourteen years old and i am about fiive foot and ten centimeters tall i have brouwn hair and Light skin

ich haser ein swester (yeah im also half german) she is thirteen years old and slightly shorter than me she has thr same skin type and also the same colour hair

and now the story begins

i woke up one morning and as i opemed my eyes i couldnt feel my left arm so i used my right hand to pick up my left arm and then i noticed that i must of fell asleep on it so while my arm was dead i decided to have fun with the situation so i monoveded my dead arm to my balls and began playing with them it felt like some one else was doing it but it was methen all of a sudden my left arm became suddenly cold amd three seconds i had full controll of my arms i got up off my bed looked around to get a sense of my surroundings and i walked to my door

as i oped my door i noticed that i had left the light on in my room so i when back and turned it off

i walked downstairs and looked around for my mum but i could not find her so i asked my sister who is called liz wheres mum she said out side shopping

so i sat down on the sofa, adjusted the cusion and reached out for the remote and clicked on the television (i get this little secuence in you mind was played in your house)(you kknow that program house what a load of shit honestly therw is a guy who is always walking with a walking stick he is a doctor and he cant fiix his own fucking leg honsetly)

while the tv was on im going to the toilet to have a shower but i need to get my clothes first
(you know that retared advert of that little boy wanting to go to pauls toilet because he needs a poo what the fuck was the director thinking when he made that adverthonestly i rwmember when i was young thr last thing i wamted to dl was use someone elses toilet becaise it was scary and also you also run the chance of getting aids from the seat or something. But the eastern european boy is ok with that their own toilet must be a shit hole. If i was his mu ide slap him one and say go to the fucking toilet now you son of a bitch now im diegressing)

i said why are you telling me this

she said so you dont go in to the toilet

as she walked really fast up stairs to her room i wwalked at the speed of light to the bathroom and hid inside the closet

lilly walked into the bathroom and started to have a bath

once she had a bath she put on her clothes and left i opend the closet door and as i walked out the bathroom i noticed that emily was not wearing her t shirt so i axed her why are you not wearing your tv shirt

she said

the reason my i am not waering my t shirt is because im too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt so sexy it hurts and im too sexy for millan to sexy for millan new york and japan am too sexy for your party too sexy for your party no was im disco danccing im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalk
im to sexy for my car too sexy for my car too sexy by farr and im too sexy for my hat too sexy for my hat what do you think about that im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalkIM TOO SEXY FOR MY VAT TOO SEXY FOR MY cAT poor pussy poor pussy cat im too sexy for my love too sexy for mt love loves goimg to leave
and finaly im to sexy for this speach that ive just given you fredo

after she had said that i walked over to her slaped her accros her face and we had sex for hours the highlights where that she was playing with my balls with a wooden spachula and i enjoyed it this is my first story after the short break i had from writing.

Also be sure to read my other storys

all comments arw welcome

ok here goes

hi my name is fred i live in k-town also known as kingston upon thames i am fourteen years old and i am about fiive foot and ten centimeters tall i have brouwn hair and Light skin

ich haser ein swester (yeah im also half german) she is thirteen years old and slightly shorter than me she has thr same skin type and also the same colour hair

and now the story begins

i woke up one morning and as i opemed my eyes i couldnt feel my left arm so i used my right hand to pick up my left arm and then i noticed that i must of fell asleep on it so while my arm was dead i decided to have fun with the situation so i monoveded my dead arm to my balls and began playing with them it felt like some one else was doing it but it was methen all of a sudden my left arm became suddenly cold amd three seconds i had full controll of my arms i got up off my bed looked around to get a sense of my surroundings and i walked to my door

as i oped my door i noticed that i had left the light on in my room so i when back and turned it off

i walked downstairs and looked around for my mum but i could not find her so i asked my sister who is called liz wheres mum she said out side shopping

so i sat down on the sofa, adjusted the cusion and reached out for the remote and clicked on the television (i get this little secuence in you mind was played in your house)(you kknow that program house what a load of shit honestly therw is a guy who is always walking with a walking stick he is a doctor and he cant fiix his own fucking leg honsetly)

while the tv was on im going to the toilet to have a shower but i need to get my clothes first
(you know that retared advert of that little boy wanting to go to pauls toilet because he needs a poo what the fuck was the director thinking when he made that adverthonestly i rwmember when i was young thr last thing i wamted to dl was use someone elses toilet becaise it was scary and also you also run the chance of getting aids from the seat or something. But the eastern european boy is ok with that their own toilet must be a shit hole. If i was his mu ide slap him one and say go to the fucking toilet now you son of a bitch now im diegressing)

i said why are you telling me this

she said so you dont go in to the toilet

as she walked really fast up stairs to her room i wwalked at the speed of light to the bathroom and hid inside the closet

lilly walked into the bathroom and started to have a bath

once she had a bath she put on her clothes and left i opend the closet door and as i walked out the bathroom i noticed that emily was not wearing her t shirt so i axed her why are you not wearing your tv shirt

she said

the reason my i am not waering my t shirt is because im too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt so sexy it hurts and im too sexy for millan to sexy for millan new york and japan am too sexy for your party too sexy for your party no was im disco danccing im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalk
im to sexy for my car too sexy for my car too sexy by farr and im too sexy for my hat too sexy for my hat what do you think about that im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalkIM TOO SEXY FOR MY VAT TOO SEXY FOR MY cAT poor pussy poor pussy cat im too sexy for my love too sexy for mt love loves goimg to leave
and finaly im to sexy for this speach that ive just given you fredo

after she had said that i walked over to her slaped her accros her face and we had sex for hours the highlights where that she was playing with my balls with a wooden spachula and i enjoyed it this is my first story after the short break i had from writing.

Also be sure to read my other storys

all comments arw welcome

ok here goes

hi my name is fred i live in k-town also known as kingston upon thames i am fourteen years old and i am about fiive foot and ten centimeters tall i have brouwn hair and Light skin

ich haser ein swester (yeah im also half german) she is thirteen years old and slightly shorter than me she has thr same skin type and also the same colour hair

and now the story begins

i woke up one morning and as i opemed my eyes i couldnt feel my left arm so i used my right hand to pick up my left arm and then i noticed that i must of fell asleep on it so while my arm was dead i decided to have fun with the situation so i monoveded my dead arm to my balls and began playing with them it felt like some one else was doing it but it was methen all of a sudden my left arm became suddenly cold amd three seconds i had full controll of my arms i got up off my bed looked around to get a sense of my surroundings and i walked to my door

as i oped my door i noticed that i had left the light on in my room so i when back and turned it off

i walked downstairs and looked around for my mum but i could not find her so i asked my sister who is called liz wheres mum she said out side shopping

so i sat down on the sofa, adjusted the cusion and reached out for the remote and clicked on the television (i get this little secuence in you mind was played in your house)(you kknow that program house what a load of shit honestly therw is a guy who is always walking with a walking stick he is a doctor and he cant fiix his own fucking leg honsetly)

while the tv was on im going to the toilet to have a shower but i need to get my clothes first
(you know that retared advert of that little boy wanting to go to pauls toilet because he needs a poo what the fuck was the director thinking when he made that adverthonestly i rwmember when i was young thr last thing i wamted to dl was use someone elses toilet becaise it was scary and also you also run the chance of getting aids from the seat or something. But the eastern european boy is ok with that their own toilet must be a shit hole. If i was his mu ide slap him one and say go to the fucking toilet now you son of a bitch now im diegressing)

i said why are you telling me this

she said so you dont go in to the toilet

as she walked really fast up stairs to her room i wwalked at the speed of light to the bathroom and hid inside the closet

lilly walked into the bathroom and started to have a bath

once she had a bath she put on her clothes and left i opend the closet door and as i walked out the bathroom i noticed that emily was not wearing her t shirt so i axed her why are you not wearing your tv shirt

she said

the reason my i am not waering my t shirt is because im too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt so sexy it hurts and im too sexy for millan to sexy for millan new york and japan am too sexy for your party too sexy for your party no was im disco danccing im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalk
im to sexy for my car too sexy for my car too sexy by farr and im too sexy for my hat too sexy for my hat what do you think about that im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalkIM TOO SEXY FOR MY VAT TOO SEXY FOR MY cAT poor pussy poor pussy cat im too sexy for my love too sexy for mt love loves goimg to leave
and finaly im to sexy for this speach that ive just given you fredo

after she had said that i walked over to her slaped her accros her face and we had sex for hours the highlights where that she was playing with my balls with a wooden spachula and i enjoyed it this is my first story after the short break i had from writing.

Also be sure to read my other storys

all comments arw welcome

ok here goes

hi my name is fred i live in k-town also known as kingston upon thames i am fourteen years old and i am about fiive foot and ten centimeters tall i have brouwn hair and Light skin

ich haser ein swester (yeah im also half german) she is thirteen years old and slightly shorter than me she has thr same skin type and also the same colour hair

and now the story begins

i woke up one morning and as i opemed my eyes i couldnt feel my left arm so i used my right hand to pick up my left arm and then i noticed that i must of fell asleep on it so while my arm was dead i decided to have fun with the situation so i monoveded my dead arm to my balls and began playing with them it felt like some one else was doing it but it was methen all of a sudden my left arm became suddenly cold amd three seconds i had full controll of my arms i got up off my bed looked around to get a sense of my surroundings and i walked to my door

as i oped my door i noticed that i had left the light on in my room so i when back and turned it off

i walked downstairs and looked around for my mum but i could not find her so i asked my sister who is called liz wheres mum she said out side shopping

so i sat down on the sofa, adjusted the cusion and reached out for the remote and clicked on the television (i get this little secuence in you mind was played in your house)(you kknow that program house what a load of shit honestly therw is a guy who is always walking with a walking stick he is a doctor and he cant fiix his own fucking leg honsetly)

while the tv was on im going to the toilet to have a shower but i need to get my clothes first
(you know that retared advert of that little boy wanting to go to pauls toilet because he needs a poo what the fuck was the director thinking when he made that adverthonestly i rwmember when i was young thr last thing i wamted to dl was use someone elses toilet becaise it was scary and also you also run the chance of getting aids from the seat or something. But the eastern european boy is ok with that their own toilet must be a shit hole. If i was his mu ide slap him one and say go to the fucking toilet now you son of a bitch now im diegressing)

i said why are you telling me this

she said so you dont go in to the toilet

as she walked really fast up stairs to her room i wwalked at the speed of light to the bathroom and hid inside the closet

lilly walked into the bathroom and started to have a bath

once she had a bath she put on her clothes and left i opend the closet door and as i walked out the bathroom i noticed that emily was not wearing her t shirt so i axed her why are you not wearing your tv shirt

she said

the reason my i am not waering my t shirt is because im too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt so sexy it hurts and im too sexy for millan to sexy for millan new york and japan am too sexy for your party too sexy for your party no was im disco danccing im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalk
im to sexy for my car too sexy for my car too sexy by farr and im too sexy for my hat too sexy for my hat what do you think about that im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalkIM TOO SEXY FOR MY VAT TOO SEXY FOR MY cAT poor pussy poor pussy cat im too sexy for my love too sexy for mt love loves goimg to leave
and finaly im to sexy for this speach that ive just given you fredo

after she had said that i walked over to her slaped her accros her face and we had sex for hours the highlights where that she was playing with my balls with a wooden spachula and i enjoyed it this is my first story after the short break i had from writing.

Also be sure to read my other storys

all comments arw welcome

ok here goes

hi my name is fred i live in k-town also known as kingston upon thames i am fourteen years old and i am about fiive foot and ten centimeters tall i have brouwn hair and Light skin

ich haser ein swester (yeah im also half german) she is thirteen years old and slightly shorter than me she has thr same skin type and also the same colour hair

and now the story begins

i woke up one morning and as i opemed my eyes i couldnt feel my left arm so i used my right hand to pick up my left arm and then i noticed that i must of fell asleep on it so while my arm was dead i decided to have fun with the situation so i monoveded my dead arm to my balls and began playing with them it felt like some one else was doing it but it was methen all of a sudden my left arm became suddenly cold amd three seconds i had full controll of my arms i got up off my bed looked around to get a sense of my surroundings and i walked to my door

as i oped my door i noticed that i had left the light on in my room so i when back and turned it off

i walked downstairs and looked around for my mum but i could not find her so i asked my sister who is called liz wheres mum she said out side shopping

so i sat down on the sofa, adjusted the cusion and reached out for the remote and clicked on the television (i get this little secuence in you mind was played in your house)(you kknow that program house what a load of shit honestly therw is a guy who is always walking with a walking stick he is a doctor and he cant fiix his own fucking leg honsetly)

while the tv was on im going to the toilet to have a shower but i need to get my clothes first
(you know that retared advert of that little boy wanting to go to pauls toilet because he needs a poo what the fuck was the director thinking when he made that adverthonestly i rwmember when i was young thr last thing i wamted to dl was use someone elses toilet becaise it was scary and also you also run the chance of getting aids from the seat or something. But the eastern european boy is ok with that their own toilet must be a shit hole. If i was his mu ide slap him one and say go to the fucking toilet now you son of a bitch now im diegressing)

i said why are you telling me this

she said so you dont go in to the toilet

as she walked really fast up stairs to her room i wwalked at the speed of light to the bathroom and hid inside the closet

lilly walked into the bathroom and started to have a bath

once she had a bath she put on her clothes and left i opend the closet door and as i walked out the bathroom i noticed that emily was not wearing her t shirt so i axed her why are you not wearing your tv shirt

she said

the reason my i am not waering my t shirt is because im too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt so sexy it hurts and im too sexy for millan to sexy for millan new york and japan am too sexy for your party too sexy for your party no was im disco danccing im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalk
im to sexy for my car too sexy for my car too sexy by farr and im too sexy for my hat too sexy for my hat what do you think about that im a moddel you know what i mean and i do my turn on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah i do my little turn on the catwalkIM TOO SEXY FOR MY VAT TOO SEXY FOR MY cAT poor pussy poor pussy cat im too sexy for my love too sexy for mt love loves goimg to leave
and finaly im to sexy for this speach that ive just given you fredo

after she had said that i walked over to her slaped her accros her face and we had sex for hours the highlights where that she was playing with my balls with a wooden spachula and i enjoyed it

238544 2 23281 Rating +2.45 [902]

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Complain about a story

Comments 114

Anonymous reader

19.08.2009 21:38

#

shit shit and more shit i can't stand this shit you can't write

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

19.08.2009 22:21

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It was written so poorly that I couldn't even get past the third paragraph. Take a course in composition, bud

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

19.08.2009 22:37

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i was going to comment but i decided it wasnt worth the effort. get a life!

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

19.08.2009 23:05

#

ok, i'm lost, was this a joke

Answer 0
Anonymous 319

19.08.2009 23:54

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You lost the game

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

20.08.2009 01:02

#

yeh sorry man i tried but you gotta write better sorry

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

20.08.2009 01:59

#

and you don't speak German...

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

20.08.2009 04:45

#

HOLLY SHIT!!
SO MANY TYPOS!!

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

20.08.2009 06:34

#

Take a longer break from writing. Same badly composed story repeated several times.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

20.08.2009 17:43

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It's "Ich habe eine Schwester". Your story is complete shit.

Answer 0
Grimm51945

20.08.2009 20:15

#

You just failed sooooo hard, I cant help but
*point*
*laugh*
*FAAAAAAAAAAAALCON PUNCH1!!!*

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

20.08.2009 22:11

#

there were so many typo's it was like trying to read a different language

Answer 0
Vaginal_Relief

21.08.2009 11:12

#

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont give up your schooling, not only typos but total spelling mistakes and English grammar so poor you better become FULL german , because your never ever going to become an English writerand by the way, your storyline was TOTAL SHIT!

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

21.08.2009 15:39

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Your German sucks as well, try writing in your native language (whatever that is).

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

21.08.2009 20:33

#

This is shit

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

22.08.2009 02:14

#

Jesus christ! It takes two fucking seconds to run a spell check before uploading this shit!

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

23.08.2009 10:50

#

dont you get it? its a comedy!!!!

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

23.08.2009 11:00

#

for the first time i've given a negative rating
the spelling problem is one thing
but the story just sucks

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

23.08.2009 12:41

#

Funniest thing I've read in years. Good job mate, you made me laugh. :)

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

23.08.2009 15:12

#

wtf

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

24.08.2009 00:42

#

O_o

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

25.08.2009 00:34

#

Troll.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

25.08.2009 13:50

#

Start taking some notice of what your English teacher tells you. Until you do, stop wasting folks time here with the crap.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

25.08.2009 18:23

#

Fuck !...after reading shit like this , it sounds like the closest you ever got to a pussy...is the 1 you came out of...You fucking cock brain

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

25.08.2009 18:35

#

u suck

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

25.08.2009 23:20

#

Look im sure you have some great ideas for future stories but my sugestion to you is to have someone proof your story before posting it. i honestly made it 20 lines in before getting mad there are tons and tons of errors

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

27.08.2009 23:22

#

It's just bad. Sorry. It is.

Answer 0
Reader 500

28.08.2009 13:35

#

Man, this really blows. Please find something else to do with your time and forget about being a writer or go back to school and learn how to do it correctly.

Answer 0
snreu105

28.08.2009 16:46

#

Yep, this shit sucks.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

28.08.2009 18:57

#

it's "ich habe eine schwester." believe it, i AM german ;)

Answer 0
ME-MO

29.08.2009 09:47

#

WTF?
What are you doing on an "Adult",web site? Ian't there some type of process you have to go through before posting something here,that would weed out the random pecking of a keyboard that you call a story before you expose yourself to everyone as a total idot ?What was that crap that you were trying to post as a story? And finaly,it seems evident that you don't speak English or German. WTF? And being 14,grab about 15 of your buddies and go back to the Poke Mon website.The young ladies are welcome to stay as long as they like. :)

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

29.08.2009 23:39

#

garbage

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

31.08.2009 12:05

#

cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks! cut paste sucks!

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

20.09.2009 11:56

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Look, this is just awful. A) Cutting and pasting a story 5 times does not make it 5 times the fun. B) ...I'm sorry, but this sucks!!!!

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

23.09.2009 14:54

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god this is horrible i read like 5 lines and had to just scroll to the end. you suck at writing. fake ass german claim. god dude idek what to fuckin say you suck at stories. this is coming from a chic mind u

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

17.10.2009 17:55

#

man throw stories like this in the trash it brings down the all

Answer 0
fail

19.10.2009 19:12

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u fucking fail

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

25.10.2009 10:59

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i wasted 7 seconds reading the first two lines- how dare you!

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

04.11.2009 01:56

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you are a freaking asshole

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

04.11.2009 23:00

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what a shit stories......either you are nuts and not know how to write or you submitted again and again...so confusing

Answer 0
Big Bear

09.11.2009 02:45

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I'm sorry but it wasn't very good. Try thinking it out first.

Answer 0
ole_crannon

05.12.2009 19:00

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You need to pick out which language you are going to write in, then learn at least the basics of that language before you try your hand at writing for public consumption. Amazingly inept is all I can say.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

29.03.2010 20:04

#

well if this was a comedy I don't get it. If this was supposed to be anything else it just sucked.

totally confused about it repeating 5 times.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

29.03.2010 20:08

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well if this was a comedy I don't get it. If this was supposed to be anything else it just sucked.

totally confused about it repeating 5 times.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

31.03.2010 12:38

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xxx

Answer 0
BIGBOB1991

05.04.2010 08:18

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What A Load Of Total Shit: It Repeated about 5 times and the spelling was appauling, Also the fact that the author didnt use speech marks was astonishing totaly unfluent

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

12.04.2010 17:26

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i don't get it because of the spelling..check it ok

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

17.04.2010 14:40

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There is a really cool invention called spell check. you should try it.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

07.05.2010 10:40

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Ohhhhhhhhhhh now I see why it was rated 8.6 %. Spell check and .,?!'" but mostly ". The rating ws so low I thought it was a fluke but no.

Answer 0
Anonymous reader

16.05.2010 23:31

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What crap!!! I have some good advice for you keep your day job as you'll never write for a living, EVER! God my eyes hurt now

Answer 0
omuana

22.06.2010 17:59

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I like sex, eating, sleeping and I hope that the day Amarch Macp time

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Anonymous reader

03.07.2010 12:50

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This was great. Best laugh I've had in a while.

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Anonymous reader

17.07.2010 01:56

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WTF!!! I can't believe this waste of space got any positive votes. I guess the author of this crap voted enough times to get it all the way up to a nine percent rating...

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reader 500

19.07.2010 23:54

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it just wasted my fuking time 4 this pice of shit damn repofffffffff dude

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Anonymous reader

29.07.2010 20:44

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once was bad enough but three times are trying to drive the readers away don't give up your day job this was the worst i ever read

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anonymous reader

04.09.2010 20:35

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what the fuck am I reading

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anonymous reader

26.09.2010 03:02

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Damn dude this is so fuckered up I am speechless. The last paragraph, if you call it that, makes me wonder if you are writing this from some asylum somewhere. If not seek help ASAP!!!

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anonymous reader

27.11.2010 22:36

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Your a pill poppin sirp sippin so high can't reach you with an antenna type
Damn

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anonymous reader

27.11.2010 22:36

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Your a pill poppin sirp sippin so high can't reach you with an antenna type
Damn

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anonymous reader

27.11.2010 22:36

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Your a pill poppin sirp sippin so high can't reach you with an antenna type
Damn

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anonymous reader

27.11.2010 22:36

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Your a pill poppin sirp sippin so high can't reach you with an antenna type
Damn

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williamgeorgefraser

25.12.2010 16:41

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Christ man! Can you post a video of your balls whith the wooden spachula? I'm just dying to see iot!

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Anonymous reader

25.12.2010 16:51

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Qk guy. Are you really half-german? If so you should have got at least 2 of the4 german words correct but you only got 1 out of 4 right. "Ich habe eine Schwester" and I'm not even 1/8th german. Still, loved the bit about your balls and the wooden spachula. Were you playing tennis by any chance? hahahahaha.

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williamgeorgefraser

25.12.2010 17:01

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Ok guy. If your only half German you should have got at least 2 of the 4 words correct but you only got 1 out of 4. "Ich habe eine Schwester" and I'm not even 1/8th German. Loved te bit about your balls and the wooden spachula. Let me know if you post the video of it on YouTube

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anonymous reader

01.01.2011 10:15

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AM LOOKING FOR STRONG SEXXX

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anonymous reader

22.01.2011 20:14

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Hey snotgobbler, next time you take a break from writing, don't come back, Dan Dare.

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anonymous reader

10.04.2011 11:24

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Theres a thing called self editing you should try it sometime

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anonymous reader

28.06.2011 14:06

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ytrh,gfh gjh;,gk l: nwdv,l:,;jgvgjgh,bn ,

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AdelioNightstorm

13.07.2011 15:55

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I cannot fathom this. I can't honestly believe it is conceivable to actually write as shitty as this. Bad English, bad German, bad grammar, bad, bad, bad, BAD! And all that shit about you 'digressing'? Every single word in this piece of garbage is digressing. Seriously, next time you take a break from writing, do us all a favour and stay the heck away from here. You're not even an amateur. You're a fucking amateur wannabe.

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anonymous reader

08.08.2011 08:33

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if you are trying to write a stroke story, you are failing

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anonymous reader

16.08.2011 20:15

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i wish this was facebook just so i could like adelionightstorms comment

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anonymous reader

17.08.2011 08:35

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What is this?! I have no German descent, and I only learnt German for a year, and I know that it's spelt "Ich habe eine Schwester". Also bad grammar, bad spelling and you couldn't even spell check, I'm not even English, I'm Danish, and I could write a full length book in better English/German that what you could do in a paragraph.

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anonymous reader

10.10.2011 11:21

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fuck IS BIG STYLE IN MY SELF

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anonymous reader

10.10.2011 11:21

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fuck IS BIG STYLE IN MY SELF

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anonymous reader

10.10.2011 11:21

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fuck IS BIG STYLE IN MY SELF

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anonymous reader

05.11.2011 22:37

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what the fuck I think you need to stop writing or go to school and some mental help would work too. what language do you really speak. Do you have terets because you repeated it like five times

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anonymous reader

06.02.2012 19:52

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You need to move to Burssels. Such talent is needed in the EU as a carreer bureaucrat!

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anonymous reader

11.02.2012 18:52

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O9EP2I Sent the first post, but it wasn`t published. I am writing the second. It's me, the African tourist.

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anonymous reader

31.03.2012 20:26

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Wow, just when I thought I had seen the worst of the worst of all the stories, you write this and totally took me by surprise! What a pile of crap! Congratulations -- you beat them all!

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anonymous reader

02.05.2012 03:51

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while reading this v got no uping uping

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anonymous reader

27.07.2012 07:17

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Fuck of you bitch I lke his storie

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anonymous reader

30.08.2012 14:15

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momsex
dgdsg

pikoi

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anonymous reader

31.08.2012 07:31

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Please learn how to write. I couldn't get through the first paragraph.

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anonymous reader

21.12.2012 02:19

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I like the butterfly, you have inpisred me to getting sticking with my children. I was interested to read your old posts on bi-polar. My husband(we are divorcing-not my choice) has a cocaine & alcohol problem but has exhibited typical bi-polar behaviour for years. He won't do anything about it. I have made a mental note of teens behaviour too as I do worry about my children who seem to suffer with OCD at the moment.Take care. :0)

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anonymous reader

29.01.2013 09:13

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This is a work of genius, and like many other genre-defining works rewards careful reading. The narrator's voice is strongly established by the skillful use of digression and 'irrelevant' detail. The work's complexity increases notably soon after, with the ambiguity surrounding who is planning to go to toilet (Max, the sister, and House all seem possible) only to be grasped by careful re-reading. The artistry of the piece starts to be grasped in the sisters explanation of why she is going shirtless; a speech that is simultaneously so unexpected and so familiar that the mind boggles at the skill involved. So far this story has been, though far superior, merely a traditional sex story, but from here on it finally, sublimely, transcends the limits of the genre and becomes revolutionary. The cursory treatment accorded to the actual sex act, and the repetition at the heart of the structure both serve to highlight the essentially banal nature of other sex stories. This is the start of a ne

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StoryTrollin

18.04.2013 09:26

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A short break from writing? I hope that means writing 'All About Me' stories for your second grade teacher, because this lousy, crap-filled cesspool certainly isn't worth anything more than that. It has all the intricate thought equivalent of cow cud.

Personally, I hope you take a permanent vacation next time. PLEASE!

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anonymous reader

26.04.2013 08:31

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Thix is rubish,u av 2 take a break 2 enternity...

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anonymous reader

01.05.2013 19:56

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Ø³ÙƒØ³ Ø®ÙŠÙˆÙ„ ÙˆÙ†Ø³Ø§Ø¡

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anonymous reader

01.05.2013 19:57

#

Ø³ÙƒØ³ Ø®ÙŠÙˆÙ„ ÙˆÙ†Ø³Ø§Ø¡

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anonymous reader

11.06.2013 07:12

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Well this story was ok and in respose to the anonymous posts : i wish jakob would like me

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anonymous reader

30.06.2013 03:55

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445555+69999999326

9++++++++++++65555555555555666666663

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anonymous reader

18.07.2013 07:12

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Well to be honest this story is f****ng crap, I mean what the hell. Who in the right frame of mind uses the lyrics from a Right Said Fred song ae an excuss for not wearing a top.

Apart from this etupidity I only have three other points to make:-

1. Your spelling is insanely terrible. I mean how hard is it to get three letter words right.

2. Your use of paragraphs is sporadic and pointless.

3. Frankly yor storyline and characters need some work, actually they need a lot of work.

4. Finally and most importantly. Use some fucking punctuation for christ sake. My 7yo niece has better writing ability than this story shows.

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anonymous reader

24.07.2013 03:50

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Ø³ÙŠÙŠÙŠÙŠÙŠÙŠÙŠÙŠÙŠÙŠÙŠ

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anonymous reader

09.08.2013 22:48

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GIVE IT UP,"KID".YOU'RE A LOSER AS FAR AS WRITING IS CONCERNED.TAKE IT FROM A PRO!

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anonymous reader

09.09.2013 00:13

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Ø³ÙƒØ³ Ø¬Ø§Ù…Ø¯ Ø¬Ø¯Ø§

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anonymous reader

27.09.2013 03:12

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I am just speechless, i didn't know people could write this bad. If you were reading this out to me, i would fucking punch you. You are good at other things(i doubt), just that writing isn't one of them.

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anonymous reader

04.11.2013 08:57

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You are so retarded it's pitiful. I cannot believe that you were even smart enough to find the "SEND" button to post this. I really hope that you can't find it ever again. You are really one lame-brained idiot that should be locked away in a padded cell.
Write all you like, but please DO NOT POST IT!!!!
Please return to grade school (if you ever attended any school at all).

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anonymous reader

07.11.2013 07:21

#

Ø³ÙƒØ³ÙŠØ§Ø³ÙƒØ³ÙŠØ§Ø¬Ù†Ø¨ÙŠ

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anonymous reader

20.11.2013 11:03

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Wow....you are quite possibly the stupidest human being on the face of the planet!

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anonymous reader

12.12.2013 22:16

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Ø³ÙƒØ³ ÙˆØ±Ø¹Ø§Ù† Ø¹Ø±Ø¨ÙŠ

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anonymous reader

12.12.2013 22:23

#

Ø³ÙƒØ³ ÙˆØ±Ø¹Ø§Ù† Ø¹Ø±Ø¨ÙŠ

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Anonymous reader

20.12.2013 22:46

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I pity you, i can only imagine how it feels to have a low IQ.

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Anonymous reader

29.01.2014 00:04

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filemexx/kasat-videos1999

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Anonymous reader

30.04.2014 17:14

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You said: all comments arw welcome -
I'm saying: you do have patience.

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Anonymous reader

14.06.2014 16:25

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Needs to take another break from writing. I'm thinking....forever.

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Anonymous reader

02.07.2014 20:02

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Ok you changed the name like three times Liz, lily , then emily

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Anonymous reader

11.01.2015 17:37

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estupido

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Anonymous reader

06.03.2015 22:21

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Fucktard... Plz go fuck urself...

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Anonymous reader

11.06.2015 02:10

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1 lousy spelling
2 lousy grammar
3 lousy paragraphing
4 lousy story development
5 lousy story continuity
= lousy
Read some of the better stories to get an idea of how to build the story to a satisfactory end - even if to leave the reader wanting more.
Spellcheck isn't just another modern word, it's a tool. Use it.
Proofread before publish, or preferably get someone who can to do so.

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Anonymous reader

24.06.2015 05:39

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Lousy lousy dam u should have stayed on break just a little longer

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Anonymous reader

30.12.2015 03:16

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Awful go sit the fuck down somewhere and while you're at it why don't you go fuck a pineapple

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Anonymous reader

07.08.2016 10:34

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lesttes gratouit

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Anonymous reader

11.08.2016 02:57

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Wow. This is hilarious. And whoever has a problem with it can choke on Donald Trump's dicks while Hillary Clinton pours sugar on Obama's dick.

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Anonymous reader

14.10.2016 21:15

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Please do us all a favour and take another break from writing. Go to school and learn English and how to write a story, then once you grow into an adult maybe try again. So much wrong with it, how in the hell did it get through the moderator? Also, to anyone who actually liked that piss poor attempt at something trying to resemble a story, you're as stupid as the moron who slapped this shit together.

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