Joke #1

I've always had them. I just had no idea how much fun it could be and how good it'll feel. I got some more this Christmas from my granma, mum and my sisters. Yesterday I wanted to put them into a ultimate test. I played them for hours until they were all soaking wet. Then I pressed some ice sticks inside of them. They were very flexible. Finally I went to home and pierced them with some hangers. I tapped the fur to make it smooth and putted them over a fire.
This morning I wanted to go play with them again. I touched them and they felt soft. I caressed the fur and it was wet. I pressed my hand in one...

- OH GOD DAMN IT WHY WON'T MY MITTENS EVER DRY???

Joke #2

A seven year old Nick was in school and he sweared a lot. The teacher was shocked and told him to write the three horrible words fifty times on the chalckboard and lick them away.
After he was finished he went home tired. When his father asked about it, Nick said:
- Well, you would be tired after licking 50 pussies and asses. Oh, yes and teacher wanted me to have a fuck fifty times in front of the class.

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