Lots of Lube and Patience.
There might be poop.
Everyone has a butthole. This means everyone has the opportunity to experience the pleasure of butt play.
Those are three universal truths regarding the Art of Anal.
Confidence is always the first step to any sexual encounter. This is something I post at the beginning of all my guides. Whether you are attracting a mate, trying something new, or assuring your partner that 'it won't hurt' confidence is the Most Valuable Player.
There are only two ways to gain confidence. The first is to be a good actor. This is definitely not a recommended option and has a huge fail rate. If you do not really understand what you are doing, you or your partner will get hurt. Getting hurt will ruin that experience and will destroy any trust you have formed preparing for this activity. Your partner will most likely not want to participate in this activity again. Ultimately, there was no actual confidence gained but there was a lot to lose. The best way to gain confidence is through knowledge. Knowledge is gained either through trial & error or eduaction (reading this is a step in educating yourself!) Education also reduces the amount of error in your trials, increasing your pleasurable experiences.
There are some people who have always known anal to be pleasurable and preferred form of intercourse. Unless your partner has asked for it before you brought it up, they either did not have a pleasurable experience or They are afraid it will hurt. Anal sex should never be painful. if it hurts stop and switch to something else to distract your partner and to prevent you from being frustrated.
1.)Prep: figure out what you're doing and how you are going to get there.
Look at a diagram. Map out the sights to feel in your butt. Theres the initial muscle that resists then easily opens up and stays out of the way. Then like three inches in theres a muscke that offers much more resistance.
Don't watch a porn to figure it out. They are actors and all the prepwork is done before the camera is rolling and chances are this isnt actually the star's first time and they know what to expect and how to control their muscles.
2.) Take a trip to your local adult store. At the minimum you need lube.
Spit is NOT lube! Remember how studies have shown your mouth is dirtier than a dog's mouth or a public toilet? your holes are your most precious and sensitive areas. Dont coat them in germs then try to go at it tearing the skin and let those germs enter your body. I dont care that Asa Akira says about how spit is the best and natural. Swamp sludge is natural.
DONT NUMB THE AREA. Pain is a good thing Pain lets you know you are doing something wrong or too quickly. If you really cannot get relaxed enough to let your muscles untense (there are two big musles you have to pass through), try using a relaxing lubricant. My favorite is ID Backslide. It features several natural relaxants, like clove extract, that prevent your muscles from tensing
If you are using toys like beads or plugs to start (which I totally suggest) you need to use a thick waterbase lubricant. I like Wicked's Anal Jelle. Its glycerin free and it does not run all over the place. They also include olive leaf extract in all their products. Olive leaf extract acts as a natural biostatic; it does not prevent or cure anything but it envelops bacteria and fungus to attempt to not spread it futher or transfer to your partner.
You should start with a toy. If you're insistant in going the hard way, good luck, just please do yourself a favor and check out what they have to offer.
Important things to look for in a butt toy:
*Use something small but not tiny to start with. Tiny will not do anything but rub agajnst your anal walls the wrong way. Look for thumb sized. Remember to breath. Dont use bare fingers because nails dont feel good.
*A Sturdy Base. Your butt is a muscle and it acts like a vaccuum once you get it going find something that has a flared bottom. Plenty of things that are marketed as an anal toy would get you quickly sent to the ER. Please look at a diagram of your butt. There is an angle of no return. Surgery is most likely required to extract something lodged in your butt and that is sad for everyone.
*what is the material made out of? If its something That cannot be sterilized (ask yourself if you can find that material in a hospital?) Silicone is a great option because it is still flexible. Silicone generally happens to be more expensive as a material so I caution you for sticker shock. PVC is decent as long as you arent heating it up and are cleaning it properly.
*price clues you in on a lot. If its cheaply made there was not much thought or effort put into it
*You should never use soap to clean your toys. Get a bottle of alcohol free toy cleaner. The sales associates arent lying when they tell you that you need it. Soap leaves a film to make things"Sqweaky clean" and will cause an infection and anything alcohol based will dry a material out, causing it to start cracking. Bateria love to hang out in cracks because no cleaner can reach them.In conclusion, my accomplishments all stemed from me doing some self exploration. No one knows what feels good better than you.
Everyone moves at their own pace. If you're a man, dont worry. You arent fooling anyone when you go into a store to ''buy a prostate massager for my girlfriend" . Women dont have the prostate power. If you can gather the confidence, the sales associates in a sex store have already helped a million men find exactly what they were looking for and help them with any additional questions.
3.) Hygiene. Have a nice bowel movement and shower. Let some water run in. An enema is usually overkill and if done wrong can hurt you.
Use something small but not tiny to start with. Tiny will not do anything but rub agajnst your anal walls the wrong way. Look for thumb sized. Remember to breath. Dont use bare fingers because nails dont feel good.
4.) Game time.
Go slow. If you get the tip of the smallest plug inserted, its more than you got yesterday.
Communicate everything to your partner. This is a new experience. Yoj might feel like you need to have another bowel movement or have gas. This is ok.
Using a glass of warm water to warm your toys before lubricating them is useful to help sooth and make it easier. Nothing that comes out of there is cold after all.
Please leave a comment or contact me if you have any more questions. Check out my other stories for more of my Guides to Sexy Activities. If there isnt a giide covering it please ask me to make one! This book One of many more to come!
