FATHER PATRICK WAS TALKING TO HIS REPLACEMENT IN A SMALL VILLAGE CHURCH. 'FATHER MICHAEL'HE SAYS,YOU WILL BE LOOKING AFTER MY FLOCK FROM NOW ON.'BUT WHERE DO I START?THE YOUNG PRIEST REPLIES.'YOUV'E BEEN HEARING CONFESSIONS FOR OVER 50 YEARS,I'LL BE LOST'. 'DONT WORRY,SAYS FATHER PATRICK,'I'VE WRITTEN A LIST OF SINS AND ABSOLUTIONS ON THE WALL IN THE CONFESSION BOX.LOOK UP THE SIN AND IT WILL TELL YOU NEXT TO IT WHAT TO SAY.AFTER A WHILE YOU'LL GET TO KNOW THE CONGREGATION AND YOU'LL BE OKAY'. ONE WEEK LATER,FATHER MICHAEL IS SITTING IN THE CONFESSIONAL BOX LOOKING AT HIS MENTOR'S LIST WHEN HE GETS HIS FIRST VISITOR.'FORGIVE ME FATHER,FOR I HAVE SINNED',SAYS A FEMALE VOICE.I HAD TO PERFORM ORAL SEX ON MY HUSBAND LAST NIGHT'.THE PRIEST SEARCHES THE WALL BUT CAN'T FIND THE CORRECT ANSWER ANYWHERE.IN DESPERATION HE PULLS OPEN THE CURTAIN OF THE BOX AND STOPS A CHOIRBOY. OI!!'WHAT DID THE PRIEST GIVE FOR A BLOWJOB?' 'A SNICKERS'THE LAD REPLIES.

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