Liz Erd hung up the phone.
“Yes…this is a fine day” Liz Erd thought to herself.
Liz Erd adjusted her black petite seamless medium padded and lined cup push up stretch lace bra with lace trim, back wings and ½ inch adjustable straps which she wore regularly during the treatment for the vaginal infection she had just recovered from.
Liz Erd had finally sought professional medical assistance for her affliction when her curdish cunt discharge had the appearance, consistency, and according to her lover Meg, the taste of apple sauce.
Liz Erd saw a Gynecologist who recommended a garlic dove suppository. The outer skin of a clove of garlic is pealed away without cutting or nicking the garlic clove. The clove is then inserted into the cunt for half a day. Cutting or nicking the garlic clove could cause vaginal irritation.
A clove can also be inserted into the anus in the case of serious yeast overgrowth. Sometimes, mat yeast from the anus can reinfect the vagina, seeping along the “sweat track” between the two orifices. A garlic suppository in the corn hole can prevent this from occurring.
Liz Erd had spent the last 3 months walking through life with a clove of garlic up her snatch AND a clove of garlic up her bunger. It was not an easy life for a randy gal like Liz Erd.
Tonight, Liz Erd was planning on going to church with her friend Lemon Jizzwhistle. Tonight was the “The Feast of the Assumption”. Liz Erd loved Jesus.
Liz Erd also loved penises. Liz Erd had been feeling the persistent sexual arousal syndrome tingling at her honey pot as her pink upturned nipples hardened in a rush of vasocongestion and sensitivity. Liz Erd’s tampon socket was double douched and fit for human consumption.
After church, Liz Erd planned on heading down to the “Town Pump” saloon with her friend Lemon Jizzwhistle. Liz Erd planned on picking up four men at the bar, getting one guy to fuck her up the ass doggie style whilst another guy is under her fucking her pussy and the other two guys are positioned in front of her so she can attempt to stuff both of their cocks into her mouth at once. Then she planned on getting the four guys to all squirt their hot loads of protein rich baby batter into her gaping yapper so she could gargle with it before swallowing it down. Such was her desire.
Liz Erd grabbed her glamorous, shiny, yet sheer suntan 10 denier reinforced toe sheer to the waist with cotton crotch 89% nylon 6% lycra 5% cotton pantyhose with all the standard luxury features such as comfort waistband and flat seams.
“Oh my gosh golly goody goody gumdrops goodness!” Said Liz Erd “These glamorous, shiny, yet sheer suntan10 denier reinforced toe sheer to the waist with cotton crotch 89% nylon 6% lycra 5% cotton pantyhose with all the standard luxury features such as comfort waistband and flat seams are ideal for everyday and fancy enough for special wear. They make my gash wet. They’re so slinky sheer they make my lobster pot so hot wet slick and slippery! What romance!"
Suddenly there was a big whooshing noise followed by a sharp sucking thunk not unlike a new giant bottle of condiment being unscrewed for the first time and the vacuum being broken. It was a more concentrated and intense whooshing than a mustard or mayonnaise jar would allow for. It was much more the sound of a giant fancy catsup bottle being opened for the first time. It did not sound anything like a train whistle or a car horn or a baby crying. It was a swishing whoosh that would pop eardrums with the pressure. It didn’t sound like a orange in a fruit basket or a dog barking at a squirrel. It was a sucking pop with a whooshy “s” sounding resonance followed by a popping thunking. It didn’t sound like a brass band playing “76 Trombones”, or a sewing machine stitching a pair of khaki trousers that were too big for an excited practitioner of sartorial correctness.
Liz Erd flicked her long lizard tongue at a musca domestica or a common house fly because after the big whooshing noise was followed by a sharp sucking thunk not unlike a new giant bottle of condiment being unscrewed for the first time and the vacuum being broken, Liz Erd was indeed a reptilian, four legged. cold blooded midsized lizard of the Cordylidae family. Liz Erd had rows of plated spiny scales covering her body. Liz Erd got protein from her insectivore diet and nothing in her reptilian, four legged. cold blooded midsized lizard nature desired getting four guys to all squirt their hot loads of protein rich baby batter into her lizard yapper so she could lizard gargle with it before swallowing it down.
Yes. Liz Erd was a lizard.
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