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Sex games

How much can you get in?

Author: Wimmers

Date: 1 October 2010

Sex Joke

  • Font:

Картинка к рассказу

After you all destroyed my masterpiece Family series I have reverted to this to stop you all moaning. If you don't like this you are just miserable????

This guy goes up to a woman in a bar and whispers in her ear," I'd love to fill your puss y with Vodka and then drink it all".

The woman runs over to her husband and tells him what he had said, expecting a violent reaction.

She waited for a minute or so, but he never even said one word.

"Well aren't you going to kick the s h i t out of him"? She asks.

"No, no, oh no he said. I'm not fighting any f u c k e r that can drink a crate of Vodka.


.......................................................................................................................................................................................................


43935   1 822   Rating +5.62 [153]

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Comments 68
  • anonymous+reader
    25.10.2010 19:45
    Hahaha nice! I thought this was funny Lmfao :D

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.10.2010 19:45
    Hahaha nice! I thought this was funny Lmfao :D

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.10.2010 19:45
    Hahaha nice! I thought this was funny Lmfao :D

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.10.2010 18:20
    As deep as a crate, nice one

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.10.2010 08:01
    A good joke I like it.

    Answer 0

  • titsinmyface
    02.11.2010 08:54
    there are many versions of this one. have heard many of them in sixty years.
    still funny!! here is a joke.... "hey buddy!!, got any naked pictures of your wife"?
    " no, sorry, i don't" "well, you want to buy some?"

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    02.11.2010 20:09
    tisinmyface, Those pics will never sell. they are in black and white as they never had colour 70 years ago when that joke came out, lol

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.11.2010 14:15
    you do not have to space you swear words!!! p u s s y

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    03.11.2010 15:40
    Below, why are there people like you who moan about the slightest thing?

    Answer 0

  • JayneyRedd
    14.11.2010 11:56
    LOL! :-)
    Loved it, thanks Wims x

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.11.2010 23:46
    a negative rating for u wimmers thats a shitty joke

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    22.11.2010 05:15
    Below enjoy your misery, with your mind you are stuck with it for life. Watch some road accident videos I am sure they are the things that amuse you.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.12.2010 22:45
    Wimmers is just a troll who talks shit about everyone else's jokes when his most of his own are absolute shit like this.

    ~TheJoker

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    02.01.2011 14:04
    You below are a coward who dare not use his own name. You have a sad existence; your only pleasure is reading great writers like me. Notice I have used MY name.
    Now run away to a corner where no one else can see you be dreadful.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2011 10:18
    Wimmers sucks. How old is he? 8?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2011 10:19
    Wimmers sucks. How old is he? 8?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2011 10:21
    Wimmers is a sucky writer. What is he, 9?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2011 10:23
    Wimmers is a sucky writer. What is he, 9?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2011 01:34
    Piece of shity fucking crap hole my fucking penis throbing is funnyer god damn what are you 2 you fucking shithole

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2011 01:39
    Wimmers you are a fucking little prick with no life you have a 1 inch dick and comment on people who think you are a fuck which you are you god damn fuck fuck u

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2011 02:10
    Nice joke. The negative rating guys are twats

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    08.02.2011 19:47
    One person has wrote all those negative votes. I really am worried about your state of mind now. Please go and see a therapist NOW. You may still have a chance; but act quickly. I will pray for you.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.02.2011 00:21
    these jokes absolutely blow

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.02.2011 23:06
    You fuxkin suck you are a goddamn prick who posts on people with funny jokes saying they suck and to read your jokes well your jokes get a big middle finger up fuck you

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    23.02.2011 17:53
    Below you still have not got help; hurry while there is still a little time.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.02.2011 22:36
    lol screw every1 who thinks this guy and his jokes are not funny

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    19.03.2011 05:54
    Hey man, just ignore the haters inehh :D I've heard the joke before but it's still cool :P

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.04.2011 02:21
    "A Negative vote for your bullshit ..... almost everyone else on this site has posted much more enjoyable content. Readers please view anything asides Wimmers shitty stories/jokes and you may find enjoyable content on here."
    the person who said that needs a life. and i bet that he likes wimmers' jokes, i mean i have seen that message very often on his pages, so why do u (anonymous faggot) read them if u hate them so much? i wish to know

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.04.2011 04:38
    guys u all needa chill... I read alot of these jokes's comments and saw u guys flaming at each other. i honestly have no idea on who wrote all those crap about wimmers is better... It might be him or it might be some other guy trying to pull a prank on him...

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.06.2011 23:57
    Wimmers cock is less then one inch

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    11.06.2011 19:04
    Below I am going to finish the rest of the post for you, try to learn from me.

    Wimmers cock is less then one inch away from my girlfriends open legs. She is begging him to fuck her, I wonder why she never begs poor me, is it because I am a loser ?
    I wish I was wonderful like he is; I hope he does not take my girlfriend off me.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.07.2011 14:04
    wimmers u compln bou t people bein cowerds nd not usin there name wen u r usin a stumd fuckin fake screen nam y dontu tell us ur real nam u mother fucker -bob

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    23.07.2011 06:15
    Below don't you think I have humiliated you enough without coming back for more? Only imbeciles put their e-mails up for everyone to see. As you have put yours up this point has been well and truly proved. Just go away and say DUUHH.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.07.2011 01:32
    go suck your boyfriends dick bitch

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.07.2011 23:36
    Below don't you think I have humiliated you enough without coming back for more?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    24.07.2011 23:41
    Below don't you think I have humiliated you enough without coming back for more?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.07.2011 00:18
    Below don't you think I have humiliated you enough without coming back for more?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.08.2011 04:22
    I don't really understand what you guys can possibly have against this one. I actually thought it was pretty good :D

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.08.2011 04:24
    I don't really understand what you guys can possibly have against this one. I actually thought it was pretty good :D

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    02.08.2011 04:56
    I don't really understand what you guys can possibly have against this one. I actually thought it was pretty good :D

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    06.08.2011 02:08
    i dont see why you keep trying no one likes your jokes so get a puppy ,or a ps3 and forget about it all.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.08.2011 18:28
    THIS IS SICK! Have you ever been raped? If not, then you totally deserve it for writing about such terrifying and sick things! I was raped by my camp counsler when I was 9, and I think your joke is just insensitive and should be banned from the site! Seriously? Vodka! We all know your codes and you are SICK SICK SICK degenerate!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.08.2011 22:15
    This is the worst joke evarr. On top of that it was srsly sick. Sorry to say im looking to find jokes that`ll make me laugh not piss the fuck out of me. ~:-|

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    12.08.2011 15:18
    I find this highly offensive! You are one sick motherfucker!

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    12.08.2011 17:56
    Seeing you all here enjoying my wonderful jokes makes me so happy. I think that having terrific fans like you is what makes me such an amazing writer. If anyone ever tells you that you are worthless, they will have me to deal with. You are the inspiration behind my works of art, thank you all dearly.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.08.2011 18:06
    864-751-1033 for the best blowjob of your life.

    WIMMERS IS GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.08.2011 16:08
    i called the bitch below and its just a radio station in Alababma or something. I requested a song and they said they would play it!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.08.2011 15:49
    Wimmers is gay and so is this joke...

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.08.2011 14:48
    Negative rating for you bullshit joke! Go read JS-Hellman he is much funnier and make you laugh like hell!

    ...douchbag

    YOU FUCKING DIE YOU CROSS-DRESSING, MISPELLING LITTLE IMP~~!

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    17.08.2011 11:02
    Just popping by to say hi to all my adoring fans, you may masturbate while you think about me.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.08.2011 15:38
    You spam the shit out of other authors, claiming they stole their jokes, and yet, I've seen this one so many times before. You are a self-agrandoised hypocrite, who fucking praises himself to death! YOU are the poison that's killing all that's good and right in the world, Wimmers, and I can say with certainty that just knowing that people like you are out there makes me worry about our future.

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    17.08.2011 17:59
    Below, you know so little. You worry about people like me in the world, yet you support the people who say they pray every night for me and my family to die. It is imbeciles like you who shout your mouth off without having a clue about what has been said that make me vomit. Show me where I have spammed ANYONE. Everything I write is in my NAME, you are just a piece of half witted shit that believes what anonymous write in my name. Learn about the postings of half wit spammers before you attempt to speak again, you thick fucking dozy cunt face bastard.

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    17.08.2011 18:12
    And you you piece of dick brained afterbirth who called me a mispeller, you have called me a (douchbag) on all my stories. You spelt it wrong every time, don't tell me as an English teacher about grammar. I have had my rage, now i will return to looking down on you again, bow before me. lol.lol.lol. I will try not to step on you, dont want to spread shit everywhere do I? lol.lol.lol.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.08.2011 18:45
    I love Wimmers so much that it hurts.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.08.2011 14:06
    You tell them Wimmers, there really are some slow witted people around here.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.08.2011 00:36
    a negative rating for ur bullshit joke joke u self arrogant faggot the only way some1 can masturbate to u is if they kill u and jizz in glee u worthless pice u of mother cunt licking dog shit

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    21.08.2011 00:36
    a negative rating for ur bullshit joke joke u self arrogant faggot the only way some1 can masturbate to u is if they kill u and jizz in glee u worthless pice u of mother cunt licking dog shit

    Answer 0

  • Wimmers
    21.08.2011 05:08
    I say you below, are you annoyed by any chance lol. You seem to have the brain of a small pencil that has no lead in it lol. I am only giving you trolls a taste of your own medicine, and you are finding it very hard to swallow, which is excellent, lol. lol. You may now carry on with your worship of me, on your knees.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.08.2011 15:43
    There is no justice in the world. There is no god in Heaven. I know, because Wimmers still breathes...

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    27.08.2011 16:04
    You below, blasphemy can get you into serious trouble with the Almighty, I would be very careful.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.10.2011 02:41
    Wimmers,if you are writing crap about other peoples jokes,it's stupid of you.Just saying,but I am not you,you fucking prick. Sorry if I spelled anything wrong -Stacey

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    08.11.2011 17:53
    Excellent joke at last. I have read some rubbish here today, but this makes up for it.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.11.2011 15:14
    fuck you you are just as funny as the saddest funeral ever!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    29.12.2011 16:30
    Ha, Ha, can't stop laughing, fantastic joke, best one here.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.05.2012 15:19
    LOL!! I was being sarcastic, I don't plan my life that far ahead of time, and I never make lists, in ataculity, when an idea hits me I drop everthing and get it done (which is not always the practical thing to do) because I know tomorrow I'll be distracted by a different idea. I really don't need to make resolutions, I don't spend much time debating wheteher I should do something or not, if I feel passionate enough about something, it WILL get done, whatever the cost. There's nothing for me to quit because I'm not addicted to anything, whenever I notice in myself a pattern of behavior (good or bad) taking shape I stop abruptly and change course on the fly, not because I have a strong will but because I have a very short attention span. I have always felt that having a particular fetish and being addicted to any one drug or thing or whatever, is for the masses, of course, things are not that black & white and people have justifications and reasons for everything but I believe an artist

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    20.06.2012 18:06
    All the people saying how wimmers sucks at telling jokes obviously have no lives since they try to troll just based on that, no im not a fan of this guy i am just saying lol.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    23.11.2012 17:54
    ok first off not funny seacod why are you be such a fucking prick.and why the fuck did you leaf spaces between pussy and all the curse words.you fucking low life peice of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    09.12.2012 19:00
    Great joke, you below are very funny, seacod? ha, ha, have you been fishing with your tiny maggot dick as bait? ha, ha, leaf space? did you drop out of a tree during fall? ha, ha, what a dipstick, ha, ha.

    Answer 0

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