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Sex games

3 Evil Sisters-Part 4

Author: SomeStory

Date: 14 January 2012

Fiction

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story pic

What was I doing?

In the middle of the night I decided to get up and walk out of the house after I discovered that both of my sisters were using me for sex. Technically I already knew that Ashley was using me for sex but she lied to me again in order to get more sex out of me. I just couldn’t figure out what compelled those heartless bitches to not only want me, but to treat there own brother like a piece of meat. Of course I didn’t have much time to think about my family because as if Karma was paying me back for sleeping with my sisters, it started to rain.

So here I am. A thirteen year old kid walking down a pitch black street while being bombarded by droplets of water, and to make things worse I didn’t have a jacket on. It never rains in this town after all so how the hell was I suppose to predict that tonight of all nights it would decide to make a surprise visit.

I was slowly making my way towards town now but I didn’t have the slightest idea what I’d do when I got there. I couldn’t rent a room or anything because I was underage, and since it was so late there weren’t any shops open either so finding salvation from the rain was also out of the picture. All of this only left me with one option, to keep walking.

The pounding of rain drops and the crashing of car tires as they hit puddles filled the air now as fatigue started setting in. My body was fighting against me, longing to stop and rest but I knew that if I stopped it would only get worse, after all some kid huddled up in a dark alleyway in the middle of the night was just begging to get robbed.

“Max!” a voice shouted behind me.

I stopped and slowly turned, in my mind I thought it was one of my sisters rushing out to find me but I quickly shrugged off any idea of that happening as a figure started to come into view. Whoever they were they were my height, and I could only catch a flash of brown hair as they passed under a street lamp.

“Max is that you?” I recognized the voice now.

“Gene?” the words escaped my mouth, “What are you doing here?”

Sure enough she came into view soaking wet as well, a black apron over her white long sleeve shirt with ripped jeans that were probably a tight fit.

“I work across the street,” she answered panting and pointing across the street to a small coffee shop that was still bursting with light. How did I miss that? “What are you doing out here this late at night?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“I have the night shift this week so I get off at one, and don’t change the subject. Why are you out here?”

“Running away,” I shrugged.

“What? Why are running away?” she shouted over the now thundering loud rain. I opened my mouth to answer but she slapped her hand over my forehead randomly. All I heard was a little gasp before she checked the streets and rushed me across it and into the coffee shop. “Quinn I’m taking off early it’s an emergency.”

“See ya!” a voice shouted from the back of the store. Before I could even open my mouth to protest we were already back outside and shutting the door to Gene’s car as she sped off down the street at an alarming speed. Had I been more alert I probably would’ve asked if she was trying to kill us but for some reason I was fighting just to stay awake.

Guess I was a little more exhausted then I had originally thought because my eyes kept slowly closing while my body started shaking like a broken washing machine. Once I realized that I couldn’t keep my hands steady I knew exactly what was happening.

I caught a flu…fuck me, right?

She aggressively pulled into a drive way and nearly broke her car door flinging it open, rushing to the other side of the car and yanking my door open as well before clasping onto my forearm so hard that I’m pretty sure she left marks. There were no lights so I had no idea where I was going or what it looked like but eventually she led me up two steps and in front of a big white door as she fumbled with some keys until I heard the rattling and a click that let me know she unlocked it.

Again, she drug me inside and down a hall, tossing me inside a room and flicking on a light.

“You need to get out of those clothes Max before your fever get’s worse. Do you have a spare set of clothes?” I nodded at my backpack. “Well then get inside the shower and get out of those wet clothes. I’ll be waiting outside alright?”

With a simple nod she shut the door and left me to do my business. I stumbled into the shower after taking off all my clothes and let the warm water smother me for awhile. It felt great, but I knew that it wasn’t going to help in the end. I was out in the rain for almost an hour after all so it was safe to say that I’m going to feel like hell tomorrow.

After I dried myself off I opened the door only to have Gene grab onto my hand and drag me through more dark hallways and into a small room that looked like it hadn’t been touched in ten years. She let me climb into bed myself thankfully, however I found out that she would’ve helped me if she wasn’t fetching a dozen blankets to bury me with.

“Get some sleep, I’ll check on you in the morning. Goodnight Max.”

I grunted a response before rolling over to my side and shutting my eyes. I was finding it hard to care about what was going on to be honest. I’m pretty sure it was just the sickness talking but everything seemed so bland right now that it disgusted me. Was it really the sickness? Or was it the fact that I had finally walked out on my family?

Sleep overcame me before I could have a chance to think it over, and for once, I was glad that it did.

By the time I woke up there were rays of sunlight torturing me while I laid in bed. I mumbled curse words under my breath before rolling over and tossing the billions of blankets that Gene threw over me last night. My brain felt like it was rattling around my skull with each step I took, my throat probably felt like a cat’s plaything with how scratched up it was, and my body in general was so weak that I was positive that a five year old could’ve knocked me over by accidentally running into me.

What I needed to do was to get meds, sleep, and recover as soon as I can, problem was that I was in a strange house, surrounded by strange things, and with a light humming off in the distance I knew that I was probably near strange people. I stumbled down a hallway, passing a few doors before emerging into the living room. It was pretty cozy, nice L-shaped couch and a big screen TV along with some pictures on the wall. My curiosity was about to get the better of me when I heard a sink spring to life through a doorway behind me.

With the grace of a drunken frat boy, I walked into the yellow tiled kitchen to find a woman humming softly as she cleaned dishes. She was a little taller then me, with long auburn colored hair and an amazing ass from where I was standing. She was also wearing an apron over her clothes but this one was a lot frillier-

“Jesus!” she shouted grabbing onto her chest and snapping me out of my glazed look. I guess I should’ve made my presence known before scanning her body, but it didn’t do much now.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” my voice was like a whisper, “I’m Max, Gene’s friend.”

“Oh don’t worry,” she blushed and calmed down, “She told us all about what happened last night and I don’t blame her for helping you. You just surprised me a bit is all. My name’s Tiffany by the way.” She eyed me suspiciously, “Why are you out of bed? Gene said that you had a terrible fever last night, did you recover from it already?”

“I’ll be fine,” I lied and she caught me like a mouse trap.

“Nice try Max,” she placed her hand on my forehead and shook her head disappointingly. She then went to a cupboard and pulled out some medicine, filling up a cup of water and handing it to me.

“I’m fine,” I set the cup and meds down, “I don’t want to be a burden so I’m just going to get my stuff and go. Tell Gene I said thanks for everything and it was nice meeting you.”

She put her hand on my shoulder as I turned to leave and shook her head yet again, “As a mother I can’t let you leave Max plus you’re not even a burden. Take your pills and take your sick butt back to bed.”

I opened my mouth to argue but something was stopping me and I’d be damned if I knew what it was. So instead I grabbed the cup of water and swallowed the pills before heading back into the empty room and collapsing back into bed. With my consciousness slowly fading thanks to the pills I tried to figure out why I listened to her so easily.

So what if I was sick. She wasn’t my mother, or anyone that I knew for that matter so I didn’t have an obligation to listen to her. Yet she ordered me around and like a well trained dog I did what she said immediately. For the rest of the day I remained in bed. Thursday brought more of the same except this time Tiffany brought the medicines to me before I proceeded to pass out for the rest of the day.

Friday changed around evening, with my migraine gone and my body back to its normal temperature, I was well enough to get out of bed and wander into the kitchen. Admittedly I wasn’t prepared to see Gene, Tiffany, and a man that I pegged as Gene’s father sitting at the table eating.

“Max, you’re awake!” Gene smiled warmly and pulled out a chair next to her. “We were just about to eat dinner. Care to join us?”

“Sure,” I shrugged and sat down as Tiffany loaded up a plate with food and placed it in front of me.

“So you’re the famous Max we’ve been hearing so much about,” the man said with a slow, methodical nod. He was silently judging me, his eyes moving up and down my body as if reading a newspaper.

“Um, I guess?”

“Oh,” Tiffany gasped, “I’m sorry Max, this is George, my husband.”

I held out a hand and he shook it, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. Gene’s told us a lot about you.”

“Huh?” I looked at Gene for confirmation and she slyly looked away while scooping a spoon full of mash potatoes into her mouth. “Well I never got a chance to thank Gene for modeling for me. Without her I don’t think I’d be where I am today.”

“You mean a runaway in friend’s house recovering from a three day fever?” George winked and everyone started laughing. If only he knew how accurate that statement really was I doubt he’d laugh so much. Regardless I chuckled just for appearance sakes before digging in.

It was weird eating with Gene’s family, not because of her mother and father, but because they actually talked to one another while they ate. My family did that too, but it wasn’t in the light hearted manner that her family was currently displaying. Maybe that’s why is was weird, because instead of hearing news about boys or how stupid I was, they talked about their day.

Is that what a family is supposed to talk about at the dinner table?

It was dizzying to wrap my head around but eventually the dinner ended and as a sign of gratitude I helped Tiffany clean up the table.

“You were pretty quiet at the table Max, everything ok?” she asked as I handed her a plate.

“Just a little tired is all.”

“You really shouldn’t lie to me Max,” she giggled and I turned to defend my horrible lie when she quickly followed, “I’m a mother and a psychiatrist. I’m lie proof Max. So let’s hear the truth.”

Damn this woman’s good.

“Guess I’m just not used to conversations like that at a dinner table.”

“Really? Doesn’t your family eat together?”

“Sometimes.”

“And what do you talk about?”

“Boys, or nothing at all.”

“Boys? Max may I ask how many siblings you have?”

“Three older sisters.”

“Wow,” she whistled, “That might explain it.”

“Ya think?” I joked as I gathered up most of the dinner plates.

“What about your parents?”

“Mom’s always traveling, Dad’s dead.”

“So it’s only you and your sisters?”

“Yep.”

“I can see a that living arrangement causing some mental harm.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” I mumbled out of earshot, “Thank you for all the hospitality Tiffany. I’ll probably leave sometime early tomorrow.”

“And go where?” her tone made it obvious that she didn’t want me to go. “Max you’re not a burden at all, and Gene really likes you. She spent the last two days at your bedside making sure you were all right. The least you can do is come to her soccer game tomorrow. It’d really make her happy.”

I ran my hand through my hair, trying to think up an excuse not to go but she was right. I did owe Gene for what she did and going to watch her play a soccer game wouldn’t be the end of the world would it.

“I think I can do that.”

“Excellent, thanks Max.”

We shared a smile and I left the kitchen to return to my temporary bedroom. When I opened the door however, I wasn’t prepared for Gene to scare the living shit out of me.

“What the hell!” I shouted stumbling backwards and looking up at Gene’s smiling face.

“That’s payback for making me worry,” she helped me up, “So what were you and my mom talking about?”

“She threatened to shoot me if I didn’t go to your soccer game.”

With a playful shove, she smiled, “Ha-Ha Max. So are you going to come watch me play or not?”

“To be honest I didn’t even know you played a sport till she said something.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Max,” her hand twirled her hair innocently.

“I could say the same thing about you.”

“Yes but it’s your fault!”

“How?”

“You never wanted to talk.”

“You were modeling, which means that you’re not supposed to move, period.”

“Well would it have killed you to at least ask before or after we started?”

“It might’ve,” I shrugged coyly before giving up the charade. “Alright fine. I’m sorry Gene. You’ve been a good friend too me even though I’ve only been mean to you.”

“You’re damn right I have been.”

We both laughed and joined her father in the living room to watch TV. The rest of the night was actually fun. We played board games, watched a movie, ate popcorn, the works! It was all so new to me that I loved every second of it. If this is what actual family’s do then I might want to stick around for awhile and enjoy this newfound feeling. When I went to bed that night I had a smile on my face, because for the first time in my life, I experienced what life was like in real family.

The next morning we all got in the car and headed to Gene’s soccer game. It was a beautiful day too. Blue skies, bright sun, green grass, and loads of families having a good time and watching their kids play soccer. Rows upon rows of soccer fields in every direction, each one with kids of all different ages and sizes.

It took awhile but we finally found Gene’s field, setting up some chairs near the center of it as she left to join her team. As the game began I quickly realized that Gene was a badass at soccer. She played forward and absolutely ran circles around the team, pulling of moves that made my jaw drop. By halftime, she had already scored two goals and set her teammates up to score two more. George went on to tell me that Gene’s team was undefeated and that this was an average game for them.

During halftime I decided to get a drink. It was a short walk to the nearest drinking fountain and as I quenched my thirst, I heard it.

“Max?”

Over twenty fields scattered through this soccer complex, stretching over a mile from end to end. The odds of running into someone you know is probably a million to one, and unfortunately, I was that one person. The worst part was that I could’ve seen this coming a mile away. Ashley plays soccer after all, I should’ve known that she came to place to play her games, but it’s too late to regret it now.

With a slow turn, I came face to face with all three of them, although I could tell something was a little off with each of them. Ashley was in her soccer uniform but she wasn’t drenched in sweat as usual, in fact if I had to guess it looked like she didn’t even get to play. Izzy’s pale white skin seemed to be extra white today, and with sweat pants and a baggy black sweatshirt she didn’t look flattering in the least. Riley’s hair was tied up into a ponytail that looked like a two year olds handiwork, with her makeup shadily done as well.

They looked like shit, enough said.

“Where the fuck have you been Max?” Izzy asked, her voice was shaking with rage and she was glaring at me with a different kind of anger that I couldn’t describe.

“Around,” was all I could say as I matched Izzy’s evil glare.

“Around? That’s it? That’s all you have to say after barging out of the house at one in the morning?”

“Yep.”

“You’re lucky I’m not the mood to whoop your ass right now Max. Now get in the fucking car we’re taking you home!”

“Pass.”

“Pass?” Ashley chimed in, “Max were not giving you a choice, we’re telling you to get back in the car.”

“Then tell me why the fuck I should get back in the car?”

“Cause we promised mom we’d take care of you,” Riley rolled her eyes as if the answer was that obvious.

I burst into laughter, a small tear rolling down my face because of it. “That’s rich! You three, taking care of me? When have you ever taken care of me? You’ve beaten, belittled and badgered me for as long as I can remember, and now that I’m finally rid of you three I couldn’t be happier.”

“You ungrateful little worm,” Riley growled, “Look at everything we’ve done for you.”

Something told me that Riley had no idea why I left, which gave me the perfect opportunity to let her in on the little family secret. “Riley do you even know why I left?”

“Because you’re ungrateful.”

“Nice try,” I smiled and looked over to Ashley and Izzy who already knew what I was going to say, “I had sex with Izzy and Ashley, and when I found out they were both playing with my emotions just to fuck me, I left.”

I dropped that news like a bomb, and Riley was blown away by it. Her jaw dropped to the floor and even if she didn’t believe me the look on her face was totally worth it.

“He’s lying Riley!” Izzy quickly denied.

“Yeah! Who are you going to believe? Us or him?” Ashley added.

“Me,” I answered walking away coolly, “Because how else are you going to explain why Ashley kept disappearing from her room and Izzy suddenly being nice to me.” With a final glance behind me, Riley’s eyes locked onto mine, “You know I’m right.”

Playing it cool, I didn’t look back once as I returned to my seat with Gene’s family, no sign of my sisters anywhere. That surprised me a bit because Izzy and Ashley weren’t the quitting time, but if I had to guess I’d say that they had there hands full trying to convince Riley that I was lying.

Gene’s team proceeded to stomp out the other team, and after that we went out for pizza. The rest of the day flew by and Sunday soon came and went and I found it harder and harder to make excuses to leave. Gene’s family treated me like their own, and I couldn’t help but enjoy what a real family acted like. Because I was paranoid, I did help out around the house whenever I could just so I wouldn’t be that much of a burden. When Monday rolled around Gene and I went to school together and went about our day normally.

By the time school ended I could safely say that that was the best day of school I had so far. Nothing went wrong and I knew that it wasn’t chance, it was because I was rid of those three cunts that I unfortunately had to call my sisters.

Gene and I still went to Mr. Edward’s class so I could sketch her and we both decided that it would be better if he didn’t know that I was now living with her. He didn’t suspect a thing as far as I could tell, and after the hour was finished we started to pack our stuff up.

“Oh crap!” Mr. Edwards began, sprinting to his desk and grabbing his bags, “I’m late for a meeting. Catch you kids later!” The door was already flung open now as he flew out of the room leaving Gene and I somewhat speechless.

“Um,” I stammered looking towards Gene, “Did he just leave without locking the door?”

“I think he locked it from the outside so once we leave it should be sh-” The door swung open, not only interrupting Gene and also proving that she was wrong, but that even the best days can be ruined by seeing someone’s face, “Riley?”

For some reason that I couldn’t fathom, Riley was standing in the doorway. She didn’t look nearly as crappy as she did yesterday but I knew she still wasn’t where she usually was hotness wise.

“Oh…hey Gene,” Riley stammered, most likely shocked about seeing her of all people here. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just helping Max work on his art by modeling for him. He’s really good for his age,” she smiled at me but I kept my eyes glued on Riley. “Oh, I’m sorry let me introduce you two. Riley this is Jake. Jake, Riley.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised should I?” I said with a small shake of my head.

“Huh?” Gene gave me a funny look but Riley knew exactly what I was talking about.

“Gene, Riley’s my sister.”

“What?!”

“Riley is that true?” She nodded sheepishly as the room fell silent. My own sister didn’t even tell people she had a brother. Not that I blame her, in fact, I don’t know why I’m so surprised after all. She’s even admitted to being embarrassed by me so if someone asked I’m sure she’d only mention Ashley and Izzy. “I had no idea you were one of Max’s sisters.”

“Hard to believe little miss perfect here lied huh?” I leaned back against a table, “Then again I’m used to all of her bullshit by know so I’m not surprised.”

“Max! She’s your sister!” Gene argued.

“Gene,” Riley began, “Do you mind if I talk to my brother in private?”

“Um, I guess I could meet Max out there when I’m done.”

“Excuse me? Why would you wait for my brother?” Riley’s jaw dropped suddenly, “Is he…is he living with you?”

“Well…” Gene looked away, caught by Riley’s impressive deduction ability. Hell, I was speechless as to how she came to that conclusion, but it was too late to deny it now.

“Yeah,” I admitted, “Gene found me after I left and took me back to her house after I caught a flu in the rain. Her family’s been nice enough to take care of me this past week.”

“And you…like living there?”

I opened my mouth to give it to her straight but that would only cause problems in the end, and of course, I wasn’t going to stoop down to my sisters level. “Gene could you please leave the room.”

“Sure,” Gene answered uneasily and gathered her things, heading out the door with a confused look on her face. Riley and I watched attentively as the door swung open and shut, marking that we were now truly alone.

“The fuck do you want Riley?” I spat out, eyeing her angrily.

“Come back to the house.”

“No. In fact, hell no! I would rather be homeless then go back to that hell hold.”

“We’re family Max!” she shouted abruptly.

“Since when!” I shouted back, “Please tell me Riley. Since when have we been an actual family! Gene’s parents have treated me better in one week then you, Ashley, and Izzy have in a lifetime. So why the fuck should I come back huh?”

“Because…” she mumbled something under her breath.

“What?”

“Because we need you alright!” she exploded. “We fucking need you Max. Is that what you want to hear? We took you for granted and now that you’re gone everyone’s a mess.”

“Who would’ve thought that the little brother who did all the house work, cooking, and kept that fucking place running was useful huh?”

“This is serious Max. Ashley can’t sleep and Izzy’s been so grouchy lately that I’ve even started avoiding her.”

“And why should I care if Ashley has a problem falling to sleep? Or if you’re finally the one taking Izzy’s bitching?”

“It’s only been five days Max! Imagine what it’ll be like in a month?”

“The house will be burned down and you’ll all be homeless,” I smiled, “I can’t for that to happen. And another thing, why are you so surprised about this? You think that’d I thank you for all the hell you put me through? You convinced my first grade teacher I was mentally retarded so they put me in special classes for the next two years. What about when you splashed water on my pants right before the school play so everyone thought I pissed my pants? Don’t even think I haven’t heard all the rumors you’ve spread about me either, and the fact that because of you, I’m one tardy away from a suspension. So please Riley, tell me why I want to come back and live with a self-centered, whiny, obnoxious little bitch that gets turned on whenever she makes my life miserable.”

“I just…” she looked down at her hands.

“Oh yeah, and the fact that I committed incest with both Ashley and Izzy make me want to go back even less. Did they finally own up to it or are they still denying it?”

“They told me everything,” her voice was all but gone. “I-I can’t believe they really did that too you.”

“I’m more surprised that you haven’t done that to me too to be honest.”

“Me? You think I’d really stoop that low Max?”

“Without a doubt in my mind,” I hissed coldly.

“I would never do that too you!” she shot back angrily, “What they did was mean and over the top Max. Don’t even think about comparing me to what they did!”

She was visibly angry now. Quivering body, flaring nostrils, and a shaky voice, and everything in between.

“What makes you so different?” I asked. My tone unusually calm considering that Riley was shouting at the top of her lungs.

“Because I’m still a virgin! Are you happy now? I said it! I’m still a fucking virgin!”

Without thinking, I reactively said, “Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. You dated so many different guys and you expect me to believe that you’re still a virgin?”

“Say what you want Max but I’m still a virgin alright! I wouldn’t use you because I don’t know how!”

“That doesn’t even count then! Besides I still don’t believe that you’re a virgin.”

“The only way I could prove it is if you fucked me right here and popped my cherry.”

“I know your playing one of stupid pranks on me Riley and I’m not falling for it this time!”

“For fuck’s sake am I the girl who cried wolf?”

“That’s exactly what you are!” I accused. But it was at that moment that the perfect plan formed in my head. It was time to fight fire with fire, and I knew just how to do it too, “Tell ya what Riley. I’ll make you a deal, and if you win, I’ll come back to the house and won’t leave unless I’m absolutely pushed over the edge. But if you lose, you have to promise to never bug me about coming back to the house ever again, understood?”

“Deal!”

“You haven’t even heard what you have to do yet?”

“I don’t care,” she was standing her ground, “I can take whatever you throw at me.”

“Perfect,” I smiled, clapping my hands together. “We’re going to have sex. Right here, right now.”

“What?!” her confident attitude was gone just as quickly as it arrived. “Y-you want me to have sex with you?”

“That’s right Riley, and if I pop your cherry then you win, but if there isn’t a cherry then you lose. Deal?”

“Are you insane? You’re asking me to have sex with you! That’s gross we’re siblings!”

“Ashley and Izzy didn’t seem to mind, and weren’t you the one who said that you could take whatever I threw at you? Time to put your pussy where your mouth is.”

“Bu-but-”

“Backing out already? Guess that means you lose,” I threw my hands behind my head and started to head for the door. “Looks like I don’t have to come back to the house ever again.” With a triumphant oomph in my step, I thought I was home free.

Boy…was I wrong.

She grabbed onto my head as I passed by and slowly guided it to her boob. I looked at her oddly, but she kept her head down while pressing my hand onto her boob. This wasn’t part of the plan, in fact this was the exact opposite of what I thought would happen. And even though I knew I’d regret it, I was still holding onto the belief that she wasn’t a virgin so I might as well try and enjoy it.

With my mind made up, I squeezed my hand onto her boob and she quivered immediately. I tossed my backpack to the side and moved in front of her, grabbing onto the back of her head and pushing her forward so that we could kiss. It was timid, more timid then I was used too, but fuck it was hot! I could feel her lips shaking as I tugged lightly on her bottom lip.

I thought about treating her like Izzy, shoving her up against the wall and letting my lust go crazy but I knew that that wasn’t the right thing to do. Instead, I wrapped my arms around her, trying to show her that I wasn’t going to hurt her as kissed one another slowly.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I whispered after a kiss, my eyes closed as I basked in her warm breath and waited for my answer.

“I’m sure,” she whispered back.

She wasn’t sure, I could tell, but that only made me want her more. I slowly moved away from her mouth, nibbling playfully on her neck while she moaned into my ear. She shuddered as I moved further down her body, each kiss bringing louder moans until I stopped just above her boobs.

“Take off your shirt,” I ordered and she nodded slowly, taking off her white V-neck to expose her pink bra that she undid moments later exposing her perky boobs in all there glory. She crossed her arms over them quickly, her cheeks cherry red as she tried her best to hide them.

It was cute.

I’d never seen this side of her, and it only made me want her more. I grabbed her arms and slowly moved them away so that her boobs could be exposed once again. She resisted slightly, but didn’t bother to fight after that as I started fondling them slowly. If I had more time I would’ve kept this up, but the thought of Gene walking in on us crossed my mind so I moved her over to the very table I used to draw on, guiding her onto it softly. I started to unbutton her jeans when she grabbed onto my hands.

“Sh-shouldn’t you be naked too?”

“Would that make you this easier for you?” I asked seriously and she replied with a nod so I moved my hands away and took off my shirt while she unzipped her pants and wiggled out of them. I undid my belt and took off my pants too, exposing both of us while she eyed me nervously while lying on the table. My dick was rock hard as I grabbed onto her hips and moved in closer.

“If your telling the truth, then this might hurt a bit ok, but I promise it’ll feel better later ok?” I reassured her, a part of me still under the impression that she wasn’t a virgin. With a frightened nod, I stuck the head of my dick into her and she winced in pain immediately. Her hands glued to the sides of the table, grasping onto them to try and dull the pain as I gently started to go in deeper.

“Oh fuck,” she whispered, her face displaying just how much pain she was in. I didn’t blame her either because her pussy was so tight that I had to push a little harder just to keep my dick from sliding back out. Finally I had got the head all the way inside and with a firm grip of her hips, I made a quick and deep thrust that made her scream immediately and sure enough, I saw blood slowly dripping down my dick and onto the table.

She really was a virgin. Holy shit! I just took my sister’s virginity!

After my initial shock wore off I looked at her face as a tear rolled down her eye, forcing me to ask, “Are you ok Riley?”

“It hurts, but…I’ll be ok,” she panted out her face spelling out the exact opposite.

Before I did anything else, I reached over and grabbed her shirt, wiping up the blood on the table and my dick. Tossing that to the side I grabbed onto her hips once again and started a slow, and smooth motion. She was breathing heavily with each thrust, and my lust was starting to get the better of me as I asked, “Riley do you think you can handle more?”

With a weak nod, I didn’t waste time as my dick plunged deeper into her pussy.

“Fuck! Fuck it hurts! Oh my god!” she screamed, her face on the brink of tears as I moved faster and faster. She was gasping for breath now but I kept a firm hold on her so she couldn’t squirm away. “M-Max, your going to make me cum.”

I nodded to her as she screamed out at the top of her lungs only moments later, her pussy tight pussy clamping onto my dick so hard that it was hard for me to keep going. Her pussy juice felt great as it coated my dick, and she was howling in mix of pain and ecstasy which only drove me to keep going. It wasn’t long until she was crying out again and I knew that I drove her to another orgasm.

Her sandy blonde hair was now drenched in sweat and she eyed me with a glazed look that was silently begging me to stop. I knew I was getting close to cumming but I didn’t know how long Riley would last because it looked like she was on the verge of passing out. My lust won out in the end as I leaned forward and grabbed onto one of her boobs, going as fast and as deep as I could until I started cumming inside her pussy as she shouted Fuck over and over again.

We both reeked of sex, and as soon as I took my dig out of Riley’s body went limp. I moved to the side of the table and gently nudged her over so I could lay down next to her. She was panting heavily, her head resting on my shoulder now as we recovered slowly but surely.

“So,” she began in between breathes, “I won.”

“Yeah,” I laughed weakly, “You won alright.”




----------
Author's Note:
I just want to say i'm sorry and that moving SUX ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to move unexpectedly and i was trying my best to juggle everything and still write a story that i thought wasn't terrible. It's a little shorter then the other's but now that i'm done moving and everything's finally settled down i should be able to write more.
But every time i make a promise to put a story out in two weeks i end up failing miserably so i'm just going to try my best to get it done as soon as possible.
P.S. I <3 you all for sticking with me even though i take YEARS to write one part of a story xD.
So thanks once again and i hope you'll understand.


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Comments 435
  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 07:40
    Worth any wait, this one is.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 07:53
    Was a great part cant wait for more man keep up the good work!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 08:12
    Woo, I've been waiting for this!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 08:17
    YESSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 08:33
    keep up the good work, you are a really good writer. A few errors but good =)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 09:52
    worth the wait your right it was short but very good now you gotta get gene to fuck him and make part 5 longer cause this one was to short love man get part 5 out fast thanks

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 09:55
    ur a great writer cant wait for next part :0

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  • Jswab
    14.01.2012 10:08
    Maybe you could have him go back to the house, where Izzy, Ashley, and Riley want max sexually. Wouldn't be bad of a foursome. But, I'm also temped to keep up the drama. Maybe they can treat him like shit again after their big sexcapade, and Max loses it completely.

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 10:26
    The saddest twist to this would be if Riley was toying with him too, giving up her viginity just to have him back in the house and doing everything for them again. It was definitely worth the wait! Can't wait for the next part, and glad the move went smoothly.

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 11:20
    Once again another good addition cant wait til next part keep up the good wrk

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 11:59
    Was hoping he'd fuck Gene and her mom

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 12:28
    Dude I love u. Best series ever!!! Can't wait fir the next part!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 13:42
    Dude...whoever u r....I'm lovin ur stories...i was not so into erotic stories but a friend suggested to read your series...they're just awesome!!!! cant wait for part 5

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 14:00
    Great Series, Hope we can get more!

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 14:14
    LMAO, what do you think Gene thinks they were doing? :)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 14:31
    Great work man keep it up

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 14:46
    If you do not finish part 5 in a week, I am going to locate.you to kick your ass, got.it?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 15:01
    These strories are fucking awesome. Don't mind the time it takes because the storyline is that good

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 15:02
    omg...bst series evr read...w8ng 4 another part

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 15:07
    Great job keep it up can't wait for the next one.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 15:14
    another good addition but i still think it would be better if he has sex with gene that would be a great addition but this one was good anyways and it sucks he has to go back into the house he shouldn't have made the bet stupid kid.

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 15:26
    Awesome series keep it up and take your time

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 15:53
    Great work, man! Keep going!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 16:26
    I've become more interested in the story than the sex. Great job, keep it up man.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 17:12
    This is great, but it was shorter than the others, but still, great job.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 17:44
    Wow! Over the last 4 days, I have read one story at a time. Never, over my 3 year addiction to sex-stories rather than porn, found more than one storyline that can compare to yours. Mind you, this guy had 500.000 Views on all stories :P Anyways man - Keep the good work up, I can't wait to see the next story!

    PS : I hate stories that are all sex. I like to get to know the charecters better. Makes the orgasms that much better ;)) Another thing, cheers for not making him fuck gene, I was sure he was going to, so a suprise! :DD You've got a talent man - I suggest you write a story for publishing as a book. Maybe not this taboo - but your gifted. If you read this. Cheers man :)

    Have a great life and thanks for making mine better ;)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 18:03
    I really thought he was going to have sex with Gene. Man this keeps getting better and better.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 18:19
    This series of story is the best on the site, keep it up man

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 19:18
    This has to be one of the best stories on this website. I hope you can update soon cause this story is great.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 19:44
    Don't worry about how long it is! Your are an excellent writer keep it up. thanks again, Always Drunk Monkey

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 19:47
    Yeah seriously you have a talent

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 19:51
    riley must be faking somehow. like what sports players do to try and give their team the advantage. she probally used a blood capsule or something

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 23:10
    what the one below me said. i like to see max standing up to those punk-ass whores... :)

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 23:18
    Omgeezers so freakin awesome!!!!! Dont stop writing EVER!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    14.01.2012 23:21
    great story man! glad to hear your all moved in too

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 00:57
    really enjoying the story. keep it coming! don't worry about keeping us waiting, it's worth the wait! good job.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 01:01
    Best story I read in a while keep it up

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 01:05
    Another great story bro. But now I have to wait until part five comes out. Fucking sux lol

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 01:07
    Another great story bro. But now I have to wait until part five comes out. Fucking sux lol

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 01:17
    this is not that short of a story and im glad i have the strong members of my family it has never taken my brother and i more than six hours to move everything either me him, or our sister, we are probably world record holders, lol good story

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 01:28
    cant wait for the next part

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 01:33
    this story doesn't have much sex. and yet i couldn't stop reading. great job. looking forward to the next chapter

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 02:06
    Great story can't wait for five

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 02:07
    Great story can't wait for five

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 02:09
    this is not that short of a story and im glad i have the strong members of my family it has never taken my brother and i more than six hours to move everything either me him, or our sister, we are probably world record holders, lol good story

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 02:43
    You do a great job, even in this short passage. You did ok giving a quick introduction with the father and Mother of Gene, and its nice to know she's going to get more into the story. 90/100 dude. Great work.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 02:47
    Hell yea dude that was awesome and worth the wait

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 03:29
    You hit it off the park, once again. Worth the wait dude, can't wait for epispde 5 to see what happens with Gene.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 03:32
    You hit it off the park, once again. Worth the wait dude, can't wait for epispde 5 to see what happens with Gene.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 03:33
    Amazing story bro keep it up im loving this series remember perfection isn't rushed

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 03:35
    STANDING OVATION dude, great story. Just read chapter 4 and already cant wait for number 5.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 03:44
    Please post more of a story.. longer part 5 :D

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 03:46
    At first these were good stories to get off on, but the plot and idea put behind it made this story into something completely different. Over all they are great stories to read and I can't wait to see what hAppens next. Keep up to good work.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 04:13
    Loved it! The wait for 5 will be exciting!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 04:49
    Noo he can't go back home to his bitch sisters! Let him stay with Gene and actually live with a real family for once.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 05:22
    Can't rush perfection~ ( call me cliched ( a lil bit) but all true -^_^- )

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 05:55
    :D:D:D:D:D I haven't even read it yet. I had to post a comment as soon as I saw it. Dude you rock I doubt any of your stories could suck. I've been waiting for this sorry for so long

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 06:23
    Ok now read it. I agree with another anon. He can't go back living with them. What about gene. :O how about in the next one he's the "alpha male" so he "dominates" over his sisters. And they do what ever he says? And so he can still be with gene but living with his sisters? -Aus/8 (nobody better copy my idea)

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  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 07:57
    I actually want to see him go back home just to see how things will change for him at home

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 09:15
    If anyone wants to have sex? Then coment and I will give you my number(:

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 10:09
    Tight, but no feeling a hymen, only some blood. As sneaky, mean and conniving as those sisters are, I've got a thought in my head that Mr. SomeStory is going to throw another plot twist in. And with all the yelling and screaming, where's Gene, who's only outside the door?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 10:11
    I'm just saying that he should fuck gene

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  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 10:16
    To the author. The stories are brilliant. They're sexy, hot and very well writen. You haven't taken too long at all. If you think youve taken too long, another author called TAMPERER said he'd post weekly, on a wednesday. It's been three months. At least. The wait for your story was fine compared to that, and worth the wait.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 11:05
    hey love the series cant wait for part 5 also is the mom coming back or is it just going to be about the 4 of them

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 11:10
    I want to see him go back home and see what happens.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 12:22
    I have to say, I've become more interested in the actual story than the sex. Please, please continue! I like the idea of Riley using her virginity to get him back. Maybe you can have them treat him good for a day or so, then go back to being bitches and he snaps completely on them.

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  • EngagedReader
    15.01.2012 17:14
    Really great story-telling once again! Can't wait to see what kind of person Riley turns out to be. Maybe she really is just a misguided girl who got influenced by her sisters too much... or maybe she's just another bitch who joins the other sisters' mean little game with poor Max.

    Oh, and on a side-note: when Gene trys to introduce Max to Riley, she calls him "Jake". You might want to fix that.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 17:46
    Brilliant I think u need to make them quicker but it was great

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 19:31
    Awesome yet again ;) thnkz sooo much for doing a Riley one :D been waiting and waiting; I'm probably gonna copy and paste that part of the story into my notes on my phone for later use..... Yeah, awesomeness ;) Riley's an epic character; although id like it if she was a. Nice person... Lolz ;)
    Keep up the good work, and I hope you settle in and Gratz on the move.

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  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 19:31
    Awesome yet again ;) thnkz sooo much for doing a Riley one :D been waiting and waiting; I'm probably gonna copy and paste that part of the story into my notes on my phone for later use..... Yeah, awesomeness ;) Riley's an epic character; although id like it if she was a. Nice person... Lolz ;)
    Keep up the good work, and I hope you settle in and Gratz on the move.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 19:35
    Whoah spam much?
    Please don't spam comments Theres no need to piss offf random other ppl on different sides of the world, so don't do it!
    ; )

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 19:52
    this is actually a story ive been waiting for since part three. little errors, but this story is good as fuck. 5/5

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  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 19:54
    I think this story was brilliant :) can we have more?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 20:21
    I say that he should fuck the mom/gene/gene and sisters/sisters and mom/ then gene,sisters, mom/ and then maybe all the sisters. But whatever you have planned out use that I'm just trying to throw in ideas for future parts in case you run out of ideas because I'm a big fan of your stories and like everyone else who reads this series I think there should be a lot more parts.. But amazing story line and your doing AMAZING; best series I've read so far

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 20:23
    Brilliant I think u need to make them quicker but it was great

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 20:44
    Why do I think that he is being fucked by Riley in more ways than one?
    Will Gene come in and become so disgusted with him, leaving him no where to go when he finds out the truth?
    It is time for True Vengeance by Jake against all who have screwed him over.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 21:01
    It was totally awesome sweet story and its awesome that he got 2 have sex with riley and pop her cherry can't 4 the next story and also I would love it he and gene have sex 2 that would awesome 2 read XD

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 21:41
    With all the twist and turns you've put into these stories, I have to say you keep it interesting. And that makes the anticipation all the more exciting. Take your time, check for errors, publish. We'll be here waiting.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 23:05
    nooo dont make him go back!!!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    15.01.2012 23:16
    your stories are fantastic, i dont know how you do it, dont rush, because when rushed a writers looses all objectivity of the begining of the story there by loosing the rest of the story, its amazing that you came up with this story even while rushed, i hope you will write more because you have a real gift and dont let these comments saying" more soon" and such make u speed through it

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 01:27
    Everyone is throwing their opinion as to what you should do. I like the story line myself. I think your doing a really good job. Can't wait for pt 5

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  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 01:45
    Harsh.
    But yeah, i do love your stories,
    I want you to kinda speed up your process, but also just take your time to write a nice, long story.
    10/10

    Answer 0

  • OGBlueMerc
    16.01.2012 01:46
    Riley is a bitch just like her sisters, they could rot.

    Look forward to more!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 03:50
    Nice job. Keep up the good work

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 03:51
    Hey man u rock srry i accidently hit negative but your stories rock, look forward to the next one

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 04:05
    Omg don't make him back!!!!! Make him stay with his friend plz

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 10:10
    Izzy's hot. Make him sleep with her more

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 11:01
    I love ur stories and the quote you convinced my teacher i was mentally retarded made me chuckle.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 11:08
    MAKE HER WALK IN SO THEY CAN ALL FUCK TOGETHER!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 13:43
    Love it! Keep it coming!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 14:07
    foursome with his sister and gene catches them

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 16:42
    Make gene have sex with him !!!!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 17:56
    DUDE keep the story the same dont change it u do what u think will make the story good

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 20:10
    Holy shit u actually made me think they weren't virgins but looks like I just got proved wrong, btw keep writing I love this series

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 23:01
    It would be so awesome to find out that Gene and her family also have sex with each other but they make love to one another rather than using for their own gratification. And were planning on including Jake in on their family lovemaking.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 23:11
    I'll admit i'm not sure i like how you got him with Riley but I am glad that you didn't have him do anything with Gene. I'd rather no Gene until he sorts out his sisters one way or another

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 23:15
    I don't understand who Jake is. I thought the main characters name was max?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    16.01.2012 23:16
    I don't understand who Jake is. I thought the main characters name was max?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 00:10
    damn good story bro. Im looking forward for more

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 00:41
    I love this series! Keep it up. It would be nice for a happy ending though. Where jake is finally appreciated and his sisters finally treat him better. Just sayin..

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 01:14
    You seem to have left open the possibility of Riley and Gene having sex. That recognition and shock when seeing eachother could bee a good explanation.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 01:27
    Don't listen to us anon. Readers about how to write YOUR story. Go with the storyline that you 1st thought of.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 01:28
    I agree with the guy below corupption ruins great things...

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  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 03:06
    First of all, Great Story, i loved reading it and im realy looking forward to the next one, Second of all... Who the hell is Jake?

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  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 04:33
    i love this series keep on writing man your heaps good

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 08:21
    this was pretty short but other then that i would like to see more of this series ^_^ cannot wait for the next one

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 18:03
    That was awesome. You should make Riley his new defender and get them pushed to the point of moving in with Gene and have gene become his one and only

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  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 18:31
    Fucking bad ass story lol. But I'm confused with the part where Jake is mentioned. I thought the main characters name was max?

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  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 21:46
    you have inspired me to write my own story. this is great

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  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 22:35
    great story i just wish it was a lil longer

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  • anonymous+reader
    17.01.2012 23:15
    First of all, Great Story, i loved reading it and im realy looking forward to the next one, Second of all... Who the hell is Jake?

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 00:03
    great story man cant wait for part 5

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 00:43
    Amazing story keep up the good work

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 02:02
    this was an amazing way to transition and include riley. the jake part needs to be cleared up and i still think should be a bit older (14/15ish), but otherwise it was great!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 02:04
    Is jake a alter ego or somthin

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 02:05
    vvvvv...max should be older...

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  • zacksmets
    18.01.2012 03:26
    jake? who the hell is jake
    nice story
    i understand the moving trouble
    im still having the same problem three weeks later

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 04:51
    keep them coming, sorry about the move, ive been there so i understand

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 16:52
    Yea that jake part was random, I have your page favorited, and I check it every other day, expecting more. Moving is a bitch, but sometimes necessary.

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 16:59
    Holy... Shit... dude i'm reading this without even touching my dick! it's great! oh man... dude, you have a masterpiece on your hands.

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 23:13
    Great story. Cant wait for more. I check everyday.

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.01.2012 23:20
    A very good series you are one of the best authers I seen I hope you continue with it

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.01.2012 07:01
    Hot stories. Can't wait for the next installment, if there is one. If no more of this thread, just keep writing in the same vein. You will get the readers.

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.01.2012 08:41
    Post the next part fast !

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.01.2012 17:40
    haha i was like whose jake u never said riley had som1 with her haha my bad

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.01.2012 22:33
    Hey i noticed that when gene introduced max she said jake what was up with that?

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.01.2012 23:07
    hey whens part 5 coming out, also what the mom going to come home that got to happen sometime right?

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  • anonymous+reader
    21.01.2012 02:34
    The flu is a virus, you can't get it from rain. Other than that though, still good. Keep it up, though let him end up with Gene in the end.

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  • anonymous+reader
    22.01.2012 00:43
    it was mentioned as flu but only mentioned fever which yes you can get form being out in the rain.

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  • Silv1
    22.01.2012 03:10
    amazing few spelling errors. great story would of been better if gene and max had sex. great story

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  • anonymous+reader
    22.01.2012 07:05
    Wish I could find the previous stories

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  • anonymous+reader
    23.01.2012 01:02
    You can, just go to the top of the story and click the authors name. All the stories they wrote are there.

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  • anonymous+reader
    23.01.2012 01:03
    You can, just go to the top of the story and click the authors name. All the stories they wrote are there.

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  • anonymous+reader
    23.01.2012 18:42
    this one was just ok

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  • anonymous+reader
    23.01.2012 18:43
    this one was just ok

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  • anonymous+reader
    23.01.2012 21:28
    mom should come home and max should gult her into sex just thought

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 08:05
    hey man love ur stories try and get part 5 out quickl

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 08:59
    Eventually a group session?

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 10:48
    Cant wait for Part 5 dont listen to suggestions its just 1 persons opinion. Keep it the same a LOT of people like it as it is.

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 21:32
    eh, i guess i could understand, take all the time u want :L and yes i was one of those douche bags rushing ya. and best hopes, o yeah dont fuck this story up, this plots too good to just rush through it :D

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 21:42
    Really good but u put part 4

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 22:00
    Take your time, great story. You need the sisters to have sex with Max at the same time.
    P.S. you wrote part 4 for this, but I can't blame you.

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 22:42
    you could have multiples at first then towards the end the main character settles for one of them or something like it. I love your work just do what you want.

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 22:43
    these stories are great, but they need twists in the plot again like the first couple chapters.

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 22:54
    i didnt really understand you but, u saiding ur making a new story, so does that mean ending story? and if u are; YOU SHOULDNT, this plot is great and would be a spoil if u left it how it is, wat i mean is like by making it like an actual happy ending ya know, like a future telling ending, or something like it. and just adding; this is the best damn story ive read in my life tbh, and im 13; almost 14 (couple days away), erotic or not, it is the only story that relates to me; hell it taught me xD. so please CONTINUE THIS!!!! and try to focus on one story more and not try to multitask :L cuz idk if im the only one but, i love this story, and u prob have more potential than just this story. so GL with ur "story" and dont stop!

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 23:00
    You need him to have sex with gene in the next chapter. P.S. it's cool that i have the same name of the character it helps me get into the story. ^.^

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 23:01
    You need him to have sex with gene in the next chapter. P.S. it's cool that i have the same name of the character it helps me get into the story. ^.^

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 23:18
    Good story line and keep on with the multiple interests for any other stories

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  • dav31092
    24.01.2012 23:18
    I think you should slowly work back in the sisters. I would start with riley. Oh and i love this story by the way.

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 23:22
    Depends on what you'd be willings to write. I just got done reading the genie chronicles and personally would love it if you did a genie story or series or something related. But uh, if you do and you post them this slow, we're gonna have a problem!

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 23:24
    I think u should put multiple affairs for the new one but great story

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 23:31
    when is he going to hook up with gene. i want to see them get together think they would be perfect for each other

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 23:35
    Multiple. But please finish this story first we've had to many delays already!

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.01.2012 23:50
    Cntinue this shit, man! You make the fucking best sex stories! I check EVERY DAY to see if you released a new "Evil Sisters." How about a two week limit, mm-kay?

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 00:35
    Dude you need to post a story once a week i really hate waiting two weeks!

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 00:40
    Dont do a side story because it would take away from this incred one

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 01:03
    I prefer one love intrest

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 01:04
    i prefer one love intrest it makes for wayy better story / plot but please finish this first

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 01:11
    just post it already. Can't wait any more!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 01:16
    Really fucking awesome man. Don't do any thing until you finish this one. I just have to say, you've got a talent.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 01:24
    I think that you should write at least 1 more part && have Gene in it.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 01:40
    I love this story, i kinda noticed the mistake in the title lol.
    But can you please do your stories alot sooner? Im sure everyone else would agree with me

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 01:56
    It's good how it is, I like the direction you're going in but I agree with another commenter in the sense that it needs another twist somewhere but definitely waiting to see what happens with the sisters now that hes been "relieved"

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 01:58
    Honestly no offense intended, but work on this story first at least until you can post a little faster. Doing two stories at once will make it slower than it already has been, like others have said, I constantly check back for more chapters of this series.

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  • Jswab
    25.01.2012 02:20
    While it did take you a while to post this, it seems rushed. I noticed a few errors that would've been seen if you proofread it. Please start releasing these faster if possible.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 02:50
    Wow. Didn't see that coming, his friends mom. That was a good twist. If you do decide to start a new project please don't stop this story, it truly would be a shame. Hope to read the next chapter soon!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 03:18
    @Jswab, give him some time to proof read, along with you other guys who tell him to release them faster. It takes time to get a good story like his written up and then edited at the same time. Asking him to hurry up is making him cut down on editing time. I personally don't mind the wait man as I always look forward to reading it. I was a little scared for a bit when you moved as I thought another great series has been abandoned, keep up the good work and please do take the time to edit before uploading, don't rush because others want you too, take it from another writer, rushing isn't good.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 03:46
    R u adding to this story still

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 04:48
    great story, i think that for the side story you should have a multiple love interest.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 04:49
    love theses storys hope ya keep goin do

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 06:03
    This is an amazing series. More, I need more.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 06:39
    Well yet again another amazing part to this great story, I really hope you are going to continue because you have so many ways to go with it. I really like the characters and the way things are going but cutting off the sex with the sisters really sucks after all the passion and roughness that happens. However as far as writing a side story I'm all for it, as long as it's as good as this one. Maybe for your side story you could write the full story and post it complete. The only reason I say that is because I really hate to wait for chapters to a good story. However I have found some writers get bored with the story that they are writing and either rush to end the story or stop it dead like the Genie Cronicales (think I spelled that wrong) that one still pisses me off. Anyway keep up the excellent writing. Dev

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 07:07
    Yay such a good story, don't rush em, take your time. Looking forward too more. Parts 1 & 2 seemed more calmly written like you were enjoying writing them more. Don't worry about a deadline and just write like you did for the early parts of it as something you enjoy.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 07:29
    People get off his case. He is a great writer. Jus because some people want more chapters faster and it to be perfect doesn't mean anything it takes a little time for it to come together. And to you to bruh thank you for one of the best stories on this site keep up the good work and if you want to do a side story then do it the only thing I ask is fot you

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 07:30
    Is for you to keep doin this story if you don't mind

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 07:31
    one on one for the first three chapters to build up the characters. but every story should have more than one player.
    if it is a side project you have time too give the characters some depth. dont worry about rushing to the sex rather well paced but do like your writting style(one person per chapter but the relationship could be expanded)
    GAGE

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 08:00
    Few spelling mistakes but we all do them so it can't be helped. I think the title is wrong too. But still it was a fantastic story. As always.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 08:35
    i really enjoy the stories, and hope you continue with them. so if you can start a second story and make them all as interesting then i say go for it

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 08:54
    Keep writing about this one and make it more often though :) its really good.

    Just dont overload it with sex... dont be like most wanna be writers here who only put more substance on sex and not in the story it self.

    Youre really good. keep it up...

    loiking forward for more.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 09:39
    you named this 4 instead of 5

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 10:09
    I think that if writing a side story will slow down the pace at which you post these^, then you shouldn't start another one. but if you say you'll be able to continue at the current rythem, aka one story for about 20 days, then sure: go for it!

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 10:20
    another great fucking story! i ... er... *enjoyed* reading it!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 13:15
    If you're writing a different story, diffinitely a one guy-lots of girls story. It's just hotter that way and more possible sex scenes and many plot possibilities. But that's just my opinion. *patiently waiting for part 6*

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 13:15
    if u r thinkin of a side story then maybe u could do one where tiffany is young b4 she got married to george she did say she was freaky

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 13:19
    Maybe you could even include a double penetration, which includes the main protagonist with his girlfriend and her brother (incest) I think that would be REALLY hot. And i'm not trying to be selfish but I'd like more anal between Max and his sisters.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 13:23
    Love this story. I, for one, would like to see more of it.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 14:00
    Great part hope you do more keep up the good work

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 16:11
    Multiple for the story plz

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 16:16
    Great story! Looking forward to the next installment!

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 16:18
    i like the young tiffany idea, sounds fucking hot

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 16:19
    nice story:) but to answer your questiong: i think its best to writh a story about a one on one love between sibblings:) incest = its best:P

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 16:24
    i like the young tiffany idea, sounds fucking hot

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 17:01
    he should get with gene

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 17:33
    This story was great plz continue and as to ur question multiple love interest is better

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 18:15
    Keep writing on this story, this is epic! I don't mind waiting a while :)

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 18:34
    write faster this is by far the best story and if you write another one write it just like this one itll turn out great but dont do one on one

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 18:44
    this was the best of all of the sisters stories i loved how they did it right in her car and throwing in a 69 was an awesome thing to do make more im willing to wait (:

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 18:46
    loved it keep writing these multiple interest is the best but towards the end he should def end up with gene oh and for this part i think you meant to label it as part 5 but it says part 4 so i got confused haha

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 18:48
    you should make max have a sex at the same time with izzy riley ashley and tiffany at the same time that would be epic

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 18:52
    this story is great. keep up the good work

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 19:21
    If you do make a side story, try to keep it were there is only one relationship
    It makes it more interesting and easier to follow. And later add more people into it
    Kinda as a plot turn. But keeping this series up make Mac choose one of his
    Sisters and he had to stick to her for awhile.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 19:39
    I think you should write a story with multiple love interests. I like the idea of having more than one personality In a good story! P.S. I love this series! Keep up the good work. ~Mixx

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 19:52
    If ur guna do another series make it about young kids

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 20:14
    female domnation you have a great skill write a story like that could give you a decent challange your a great writer but female domnation is by far a hard topic to write hey im justa 32 year old wat do i konw great job calm down

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 20:15
    yeah female domnation

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 20:17
    thats cool topic about female domnation maybe a therpasit who gets raped by he,s assitants an they dont care he has a wife

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 20:32
    good series and people should give you a break there are easily a couple thousand words in here that takes a while to type. and i hope you aren't ending it and this one was the best in my opinion. and for another story i think it should be mutliple just like this one look forward to reading more of this series and any other series you post you are by far the best writer on here.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 20:53
    I agree with the femdom comment. Whilst I don't usually read stuff like that it's enjoyable when done right and could be a challenge for you. you should use a young guy (no older than 18 imo), maybe have multiple women dominating, start with someone like his mom and issues he might have at first, etc.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 21:08
    female domnation is a hard topic that somestory can conquer go for it dude

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 21:11
    maybe he.s a dominated therpasit first by his wife then by his assitants and then at the end both his daughter no older 17 strap him to the bed for some fun

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 21:13
    by the way this is a good story but not so much incest please

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 21:25
    Hey that was a good 1. I didn't see that coming. Next should be gene's turn. I absolutely love this series. And screw the guy who wants u to lay off the incest. You write it so well. Keep up the great work.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 21:52
    lol, I'd think after a sex session, one would be content, not in contempt. Never mind, another mind-blower of a story, and I agree with the fem dom idea, just make sure it's done properly or it could look ugly.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 21:53
    lol, I'd think after a sex session, one would be content, not in contempt. Never mind, another mind-blower of a story, and I agree with the fem dom idea, just make sure it's done properly or it could look ugly.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 21:58
    Oh yeah, another thing; Don't start coming up with too many story ideas, or there's the chance you'll burn yourself out and your stories will suffer for it, like what happened to the main character in this part.

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 22:42
    Have him get with gene

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 23:17
    therpasist and rapesit asstitants go for it
    i like that idea mybe he.s trapped on a ship at sea stuck with 18 of his mostabuse sexual active women

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  • anonymous+reader
    25.01.2012 23:28
    make number 5 its an amasing storyline and it needs to ceep going.

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 00:04
    PLEASE
    PLEASE WRITE ANOTHER STORY PART TO THIS STORY I LOVE IT SO MUCH I NEED MORE!!!!!!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 00:09
    Make it so that gene and him get together or he gets laid by her in some way then his three sisters start to get overwhelmed with sexual tension they want devise a plan to trap or drug him into there own sexual bliss btw this is from the
    Guy who wants to see more so please write more or let me send you my email address so I can have more

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 00:49
    i agree with the guy's comment below mine make it so that gene heard them while they were fucking in the classroom and then she fucks him later in the next part.
    p.s.......best......story.....EVEA!!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 01:39
    you can have the side project but finish this one off first cause this is very good

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  • blindu8
    26.01.2012 02:25
    Another Great story!!!! keep up the good work!

    I think you should start another story with it being focused on one couple for a change

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 04:58
    Great story if you want to write another story on the side fine with me make it good though and dont forget to finish this one do what ever you think will be cool in the next one
    Signed Mastedo
    PS: dont make gene get with him yet make that something you do in the part after #6 have seven be it but do what ever dude your story is awesome keep it going

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 05:27
    once again masterclass. i think you should write another but after you finish this one.....

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 07:04
    Hot but make em longer i wait 2 weeks for these and read em in like 5 min

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 10:45
    loving the story! keep up the good work and thanks for sharing

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 14:53
    I want u to continue this story primarily but if u want to write another story at the same time that's cool too.

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 14:53
    I want u to continue this story primarily but if u want to write another story at the same time that's cool too.

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 17:02
    I lov all ur stories dude but pleas try to finish this one b4 puting up anothe or if you can put up two at a time "that is the continuation of this story and the new one" and try to make your story more long....kudos

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 17:06
    I think you should do a story on izzy tbh!

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 17:32
    i've read all of u'r storys this far, and an in depth storyline based on Max'es "grown-up" life would be awesome. Where's he's 40 years and married or so.
    and don't stress the sex, i love reading the whole story just to find those little peaks where the story turns and i get to see a new side of a chapter.
    love the way u keen Gene dangling like a carrot, can't w8 till you finaly bring her inn aswell.
    keep on writing, and keep on living, waiting for a new story is half the fun imo, wondering what you'll give us and what part you'll twist and turn this time.
    Live strong !

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 18:16
    You never described what gene looks like bro

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 20:06
    do another story but with multiple intrests

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 20:39
    Great story, i'd rather see this finished then have you start a new, or if you really wanna get it out wait to pub it

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 23:16
    Damn another great story you have great talent you don't stress too much about the sex instead u just let things ride out into a great sex scene, and your other story should have multiple relation keep writing Peace

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.01.2012 23:21
    dont write side story as it took ya 2 week for this wat will happen when ya have 2 to write
    although nice

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 01:22
    I would say write spin offs or interludes for this story featuring izzys, ashleys and gene's own sex escapades. unfortunately cant do riley as she was a virgin until the last story but hearing bout the others would be good.

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 01:46
    dont mean to be a hater but the name "max" seripously dude

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 01:46
    yo man wtf dont hate this story it was amazing

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 02:18
    variety is the spice of life. multiple relationships. its what makes this story. and, while forgivable because of your naritive ablilties, you had more errors in this one than the last, lol.

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 02:38
    DAAAAMN ! Probably the best short story I've ever read smutty or otherwise. All of Max's trials and tribulations seemed to lead up to this point so that last scene with Tiffany was especially hot. Side note: this story really made me FEEL...ya' know. It sounds pathetic, but I cried at all the injustices done to Max. Thank you for a beautiful story!

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 02:44
    Dude try to keep it orginal you got to keep the story line that got you here 1 dude 3 sisters there evil be careful or this could blow up in your face damn I'm high

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 03:32
    I love your style of story, especially how you make the scenes dream like in the manor that they go immediately from one state to another.

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 06:06
    not sure if you noticed this, but part 5 is named part 4. Aside from that, love this, keep going. :)

    And as for your question, I think multiple interests would go along with the story better, considering he just fucked Gene's mom, on top of the thoughts of his sisters, and the fact that Gene appears to have a crush on him.

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 06:47
    Great read so far... couple things that i would work on is give more power to the reader's creativity when describing characters give them a little at a time threw out the story... how ever the politics between siblings could be a little witter... the definition of their relationship could be less defined...

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 16:15
    This is an amazing series. More, I need more.

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 17:07
    part 5 is named part 4
    when is Gene and max going to hook up

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 17:31
    Great story line. I feel the project your starting should be a multiple love interest but also through in a potential love relationship. I like how Gene is reacting but there is one element that is missing. If I can think of what it is I will post another comment. Look for the number 117 to be in the comment if I do re-post a comment about your ideas. keep up the good work.

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 18:52
    nice Story this is my first comment ever in but i've been reading for awhile now. You've got real believable characters. Great story i'd like to see more

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  • anonymous+reader
    27.01.2012 23:40
    Dude plz continue the series

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 00:55
    you should definitly include gene and a 4 way between max and his sisters

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 01:24
    this is just comeing from a hopeless romantic but Max should marrie Gene

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 05:43
    i love this plz post more of the series

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 07:48
    Well i've read all the chapters so far and i would like to see more, it's a good story.

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 12:53
    I think he should screw Gene.

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 14:39
    Dude ossom!
    i request u.
    plz continue d srz

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 15:15
    Wish there would b more but it was great

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 15:20
    DAAAAMN ! Probably the best short story I've ever read smutty or otherwise. All of Max's trials and tribulations seemed to lead up to this point so that last scene with Tiffany was especially hot. Side note: this story really made me FEEL...ya' know. It sounds pathetic, but I cried at all the injustices done to Max. Thank you for a beautiful story!

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 15:43
    Love ur stories,love u as a writer please continue with evil sisters. Whatever your decision i stand by you . For the side project i think it should be a 1 on 1 thing, mostly because this has multiple intrests and would be a diffrent perspective.

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 15:44
    Keep writing man you are great

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 19:40
    Read part 1, 2, 3, 4, and 4(5, small mistake... Oops) and love them all. Your a great writer!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 19:52
    dam these storys are hot ! x

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  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 21:14
    I think he should screw Gene and Tiffany together! Don't stop this story line we want plenty more but if your other story idea is as deep as this one go for it the more stories you write the better!!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    28.01.2012 23:30
    dude just write at your own time bcuz it comes out better and at the end of this series put all of them together into one story lol nice storys bro

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 00:24
    Damn bro another grate story. Iv kept up with you from the beginning so I'll stay with you till the end. I hope you keep going with this series but I would definently read a side story by you. Keep up the good writing and just know I'm a big fan.

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 02:43
    you are my favorite writer here, i would read anything written by you regardless of whether or not it had any sex in it. my username here is Dovakiin if i ever send you a pm. maybe we can chat sometime.

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 04:15
    good story, love it!

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 05:16
    Life gets unfair when I read this. DX Great stories dude, keep it up.

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 05:33
    Dude he shoulda fucked gene

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 05:53
    Damn there only one writer I think its as talented as you on this, look him up hardandsoft

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 05:58
    cant wait for the next installment, love ur work

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 06:13
    FUcking hell dude top story A+++++++++++ Keep the story line going

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 10:17
    am i the only chick who reads this and fucking loves it?!

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 15:42
    its a great story.try putting on a part 5 as a conclution and it rocks . try three on one relationships ,young ,incent , lowers ,and real hard on dating fact's could help make the story more interesting.

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 17:34
    @ Anon 10:17:04 na-ah. I was fingering myself so hard, I was almost up to my wrist. Fuck, I've still got a finger in there now as I type this.

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 17:45
    let him date Gene and all ends well. or make him date Gene and let him find out that Tiffany isn't the only one who loves kinky sex

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 18:55
    "holy shit" those are the only words to describe this awesome story dont stop writing ever

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 20:20
    u got skills!!!!! keep going!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 22:20
    MAKE A LEZZY SCENE W/ HIS SISs WHEN HE GETS HOME.
    MAKE SIDE W/ GENES FAMILY INCEST

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  • Merc098
    29.01.2012 22:22
    Bravo like all the others this one was great. Can't wait for part 6. Oh and for your side project a harem theme might be more entertaining, but since you are the wither it's up to you.

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  • anonymous+reader
    29.01.2012 22:33
    HAVE HIM BECOME "INTERESTED" IN GENE!!!! That would kick ass!

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 00:41
    Another awesome story. Ok on the side story but don't spend too much time on it if it takes away from this. Remember what made you famous. Also you decide if gene is a virgin or if he fucks her at all.

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 00:42
    Another awesome story. Ok on the side story but don't spend too much time on it if it takes away from this. Remember what made you famous. Also you decide if gene is a virgin or if he fucks her at all.

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 01:58
    Can't wait for the next :)

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 03:30
    This wasnt incest?

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 04:25
    Dude deffenatilty write another one with multiple lovers im on this site all the time and tht serious was the best story ive ever read yur very talented way to go buddy :) keep up the good work

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 05:04
    I think it would be good to switch sides play it from one of the girls points of veiw to give some insight to them and, also so the main will be less predictable.

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 05:06
    whoops forgot my name as i have no account yet i go by anonnecro

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 13:59
    go with multiple ... it's funnier ... plus don't stop this one ... maybe add gene as the love interest for max and they end up together although the age difference ... another GOOD andvice ... don't become like TAMPERER ... if u add another chapter every 2 weeks i think all of your fans will be pleased ... GREAT story by the way ...

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 15:04
    You use the word "Too" in place of "To" quite often.

    Too is used when you have to say that something is too much, too many, too numerous. "Jennie's house was too large."

    To is used every other time. "I went to the bank."

    Too = Abundant, excessive

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 17:19
    female domnation with the mulitple love intrests

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 19:08
    I'd be cool if you had some girl on girl action. :P

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 19:25
    I'd be cool if you had some girl on girl action. :P

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 22:10
    You should have Max hide in the basement, have the sisters go nuts, admit their feelings, and then all have sex with him all at once.

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  • anonymous+reader
    30.01.2012 22:40
    part 5. Make one!!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    31.01.2012 04:59
    Nooo, I want more of this story!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    31.01.2012 05:59
    i read all of the chapters of this story don't stop please!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    31.01.2012 07:59
    upload next part .. fast

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  • anonymous+reader
    31.01.2012 14:50
    You need to make another one quickly as hell

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  • anonymous+reader
    31.01.2012 18:01
    Dude you need to hurry up and make part 6!!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    31.01.2012 23:53
    It was the best loved it

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  • anonymous+reader
    01.02.2012 05:04
    he needs to have sex with Gene man I think thats where the story naturally wants to progress to. If you're looking for conflict then maybe Gene could find out about Max Gene's mum.

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  • anonymous+reader
    01.02.2012 10:38
    great story keep it going with a part 5 please

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  • anonymous+reader
    01.02.2012 11:58
    i like the story, but having sex with the mom seemed way forced and way awkward..i had to stop reading, that was a wrong turn, should've had him sex Gene. also next part he needs to like tie sisters up and fuck all three on the kitchen table or something

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  • anonymous+reader
    01.02.2012 12:31
    Or write another story with gene as the main cheacter have it start the next day at school where shes trying to tind the currage to asmit hir feelings for him

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  • anonymous+reader
    01.02.2012 12:32
    Or write another story with gene as the main cheacter have it start the next day at school where shes trying to tind the currage to asmit hir feelings for him

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.02.2012 00:08
    i wish you the best of luck if you do start the project and it should start out with one partner and possibly progress from there but not to quickly, but i love your stories my favorite series so far, so thanks

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.02.2012 16:34
    Dude seriously part 5 needed ASAP

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.02.2012 21:50
    hey, I'm a big fan. if you want an idea for the next story, how about a girl who leads two best friends on? except its from one of the guys prospective..its just an idea, you seem good at entwining emotions in to a story. either way anything you write I'll read :P
    M

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.02.2012 21:51
    Am I the only one who thinks he should have sex with Mike from school and maybe Tiffany's husband? Perhaps her husband can find out and say it's okay for them to have sex but they need to have gay sex too, and then Gene can join in. I always thought it was going in the Mike direction though. That's just what it seemed like to me!

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.02.2012 21:53
    By the way, I'm the dude from the Mike comment and I think your story is fucking HOT!!! I read it from start to finish and love it. However, you do have one problem in that this chapter which is technically chapter 5 is actually written as chapter 4 a second time. Basically, you should edit that so that it now reads as chapter 5.

    Keep up the epic work!! :)

    ~ Mr. Basilisk

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 00:46
    Omfg i dont care what you do just keep this story going i read all five parts for bout five hours straight i almost never read stories and i rarely comment on vids let alone stories u have my full fucin support and i read u basically had no self confidence in your other parts i hope i gave u some please keep up with the story tkz oh and ta answer your question another story would be great but i would kinda be pissed if it slowed this story down...

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 03:34
    Loved the first, second and third chapters. The fourth was... It seemed uncharacteristic of him, but I shrugged it off - maybe the plot will continue being spiffy. Unfortunately this story is making less and less sense; the character's personality shifting dramatically and suddenly I found myself annoyed by him.
    Annnd yeah. There's my two cents..

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 04:22
    i loved this story..,its fucking hot story..,well this part ws pretty gud.,wit a twist in max life as one more woman's pussy burried in max dick...
    I wish u could involve those three sisters again and hav multiple sex...
    Make this story a legendry one...so tat evry guy who read this series wish to b in d place of max....
    Well infact i'm wishing jesus to b at d place of max atleast in my upcoming life...
    Gud buddy.....waiting fr 6th installation..

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 04:26
    awesome sex story..,wit a gud sex wit tiffany....
    The problem wit u is u explain gud abt the story....bt u dont explain abt the sex better..,u'll explain it vry shortly...,try to explain more abt the sex. . . N i'm dieing to read the 6th installation.

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 07:20
    i lov ur story ive red all of them but i think y in the numbers 123 there was so much emotion with max and ashly i think u should bring it back

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 13:37
    bgvghbjchgbhjnhggfchgvjhbjhvfcfhgbhj

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 16:05
    Yeah past couple comments were right i dont give a fuc bout ur grammer but u should be more descriptive and omfg bring at least the two older sisters back and i would like more mood swings = more interesting one more thing ur really nice taking these comment into consideration well at least try to get out two parts a month tkz!!!!!!!!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 18:26
    Ow my god I love ur storys but this one not so much I think in numbers 123 were so gd honestly they made me have this wird happy feeling I loved it but not with the last 2 parts bring back ashly and izzy there was so much more emotion

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  • anonymous+reader
    03.02.2012 19:23
    before u go to a new story u need to end this one i say at lest 3 to 4 more chapters should do for now uve got a good still and i like it i've read a lot of storys on this site and your real good so keep it up and if u do write a new story ill read it and tell u what i think but i think it will be good good luck (spanky1426)

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.02.2012 01:59
    If its as good as this i could care less this is by far the best story i have ever read please do not stop with this story want to see him end with Gene and happy, but not right away want the story go longer thanks for the awesome story please keep writing

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.02.2012 02:03
    Hey man keep up the good work, really liked it!

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.02.2012 05:11
    Dude this needs to be a movie all of them in one!

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.02.2012 20:50
    can you plz rite the next part plzzzzzzzzzz

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.02.2012 21:01
    i usto love ur work it usto make me so happy but ever sense maxs sisters have gone its not that gd any more its called my 3 evil sisters for a reason dont forget that bro

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.02.2012 23:21
    Wen is the next one coming ?

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.02.2012 08:21
    Hey man fuck the other story man just right this one I need the next story getting impatient

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.02.2012 11:44
    Keep going! Stories just keep getting better and bett

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.02.2012 15:22
    A brilliant story as usual. Continue :)

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.02.2012 16:25
    I checked other stories it seems he sends a part out every two weeks so in 2-4 days probly and they're right this is a hit so u cant stop with this or start another story and the guy is right this story has a title for a reason dont get too off track or at least bring the sises back while he has others on em and remember u gotta keep it up

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.02.2012 18:13
    continue the story ... just don't become like TAMPERER ...

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.02.2012 18:25
    Hey man fuck the other story man just right this one I need the next story getting impatient

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.02.2012 21:58
    Hey man fuck the other story man just right this one I need the next story getting impatient

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  • anonymous+reader
    05.02.2012 23:05
    To the guy who mentioned TAMPERER.....you are absolutely correct. Everyone from his stories left him to come here, stick with this story and don't abandon us like TAMPERER did.

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 02:14
    maybe you can have the sisters become so desperate for sex with him that they agree to let him decide, when, where, and with whom. just a thought

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 02:39
    Max should end up with two of his sisters soon

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 02:39
    Max should end up with two of his sisters soon

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 04:07
    I love this story. Think it would be hot ig gene foun d out bout him and her mom and decided she wanted in on it

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 09:54
    I'm kinda hoping he fucks gene next

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 10:56
    Its been 2 long guys! I think he's either ended the sotries with this episoded or maybe he's dead??

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  • shopnowalid
    06.02.2012 13:37
    Would you hurry ? I cant wait anymore . And you are writing awsome . Dont involve only sex . Other feelings in this story is making it special . One or two sex in one part is enough and i think everyone will agree . So hurry .

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 15:39
    How the hell can i find stories on this site there isnt a search bar damn

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 16:08
    @Guy who is annoyed by no search bar: remember the authors names and you can go find them on the authors list

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 17:15
    Are u gona make a number 6 or what................man

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 17:19
    Is it just my fucked computer, or did the guy name this fifth story exactly the same as the fourth story. There are five stories, and he's named the latest two both part four, according to my computer.

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 20:57
    Can you plz give us an eta on the next part plz SomeStory

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.02.2012 23:09
    @guy two before me i think he used up all of the space and coyldnt continue unless he added a new installment there are five installments but only four parts of the story

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  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 00:01
    When is he gonna fuck gene

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  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 13:57
    Why do we need to write a comment now? Whaaaat theeee fuuuuuuck?

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  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 16:38
    Gene didn't hear Riley screaming at the top of her lungs?? O.o

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  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 18:40
    Hurry up make the next part and put ashly and izzy back in the story dude............................

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  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 20:27
    Yeah the person before me is right and would u reply once in a while to our comments so we know when the next part comes out tkz

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  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 20:28
    Yeah the person before me is right and would u reply once in a while to our comments so we know when the next part comes out tkz

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  • anonymous+reader
    07.02.2012 23:49
    your posting rate is just pathetic

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  • anonymous+reader
    08.02.2012 16:56
    Yea the guy billow is rite hurry up dude we have been here forever waitting were alll getting realy realy bord...................bro

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  • anonymous+reader
    08.02.2012 17:34
    c'mon man, at least just post the first half, its gettin lame now

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  • anonymous+reader
    08.02.2012 21:39
    ignore all of these fuckheads. please take your time. i would rather read a high-class peice of literature than some unedited piece of crap. on the other hand, if you were not writing, hurry the fuck up

    --james

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  • anonymous+reader
    08.02.2012 23:32
    Think your story's are great make more ur really good and take your time

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  • anonymous+reader
    09.02.2012 04:03
    Finish this story. I'm really getting into this guy as a character. I wanna know how his tale ends. I love the revenge element, and the fact that he's deserving of his payback.

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  • anonymous+reader
    09.02.2012 04:07
    Don't start another series until this one's finished!! I love the plot, and I want it to conclude, ASAP!!

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  • anonymous+reader
    09.02.2012 08:16
    usto like this story now not realy its got reallllllllllllllllllllllly shit now last to parts where rubbish dont even get it any more........bord

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  • anonymous+reader
    10.02.2012 00:51
    A series with one guys and lots of girls. Similar to thus one.

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  • anonymous+reader
    10.02.2012 07:24
    YOU GOTTA MAKE THIS INTO MOVIES BRO

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  • anonymous+reader
    10.02.2012 17:12
    That was fucking awesome I can't wait to read the next one,since he fuck his friend mom how about sence when he's fucking gene that would be awesome also XD

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  • anonymous+reader
    13.02.2012 22:52
    Was Riley raped or something?

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  • anonymous+reader
    15.02.2012 12:39
    Very good story bro. Seriously, you should take this to the movies. You're a great writer.

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  • anonymous+reader
    15.02.2012 23:59
    Hey dude this is fucking amazing! I wish I had a sister like Izzy is later on... But you should have him fuck his mom (I read part 6 before this)

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  • anonymous+reader
    16.02.2012 13:42
    This is supposed to be part 5
    but you titled it part 4

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  • anonymous+reader
    19.02.2012 11:08
    Have Riley and gene had sex or something ?

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  • anonymous+reader
    21.02.2012 23:58
    Very nice please make more

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  • anonymous+reader
    22.02.2012 00:44
    For the love of GOD make this a movie! Please!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    25.02.2012 02:58
    this opne got a little more fucked up then the last ones

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  • anonymous+reader
    26.02.2012 12:26
    I've read all your stories, and I've read through a few more times, you're awesome at this! Please make a part 7!
    As for your side story, i'd vote for something similar to this!
    Keep up the great work!

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    26.02.2012 20:15
    Dude you should try a domination/submission story but with the same idea older woman younger man GREAT stories btw

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  • anonymous+reader
    01.03.2012 03:20
    Fuckin awsome story love alll each part sooooo much keep going

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  • anonymous+reader
    02.03.2012 12:52
    20 opens and 3 numbers is OK. I think my best is 4 cselos off 20 opens. From 4 numbers I can get 2 dates and fuck at least one of them. My numbers still stand at around 1 F close to 20 opens. OK, well there are no blanket answers that cover any eventuality. These are just things I'd tell you to bear in mind.1) I tend to text them 10 minutes after the close and say Hey Andy, just met a girl. She seemed a lot of fun but she was wearing a big red coat (or whatever I was teasing her about). Is the one of those big red coat perverts you warned me about? Should I date her?They almost always text back laughing and we're in text banter for a day or two. 2) No shit she has a boyfriend. She's young and hot. If you want a top quality chick you're going to have to take her off another guy. Ignore the comment, say cool and change the subject. Telegraph less interest and build more attraction.

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.03.2012 21:07
    when is your next story coming out its been to long

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.03.2012 15:43
    He didn't write this

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    07.03.2012 15:44
    He didn't write this

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    10.03.2012 00:22
    Wene will he fukk gene

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    03.05.2012 08:26
    I like your concept of daoseticmted animals kept and nurtured to the end of their natural lives. It fits with my view of a sustainable economy, mainly based on a Vegan lifestyle (not just diet) but allowing for grazing on amenity grassland of which parts of the Dales would feature and such as the great parks of our old country manor houses (e.g. Chatsworth). Most of the uplands ought to be returned to its natural state, mixed forestry to balance the forces of nature (greenhouse gases, methane). The keeping of cattle in the vast numbers that we do today is causing more pollution than all the World's transport combined and those cattle are mainly for the benefit of just the affluent West. I think we both have to admit there would never be enough wool for all of the textile market, just the top end, as it used to be.I used to keep poultry under similar ethical conditions 50% hens 50% males right on to 14-15 years old. Asked why I had to comment on a few of them that they were still prod

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  • anonymous+reader
    18.07.2012 00:07
    He probbly died since hes already 99 years old...

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  • anonymous+reader
    04.09.2012 22:59
    God this is a good story

    Answer 0

  • anonymous+reader
    13.10.2012 12:58
    Any girls in jersey that might wanna screw around?

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  • anonymous+reader
    14.12.2012 04:02
    I think a more one one one story would be nice in reference to the question you asked. I love this story absolutely!!! You are an awesome author as well! I do kind of find it unrealistic though how frequently he uses the word "fuck". It kind of takes some realism away from the story a bit when the word "fuck" is used so frequently and it also detracts from its value... but nevertheless you are an amazing author and keep it up!

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  • anonymous+reader
    06.07.2013 02:21
    The person who did the comment 3 times before me is a fagget

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  • anonymous+reader
    24.10.2013 19:44
    qTiYSb I think this is a real great article post. Really Great.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.02.2014 07:10
    hey call me a fagget i will hunt u down and beat the shit out of you

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.02.2014 14:52
    Zu7xTK Thank you for your article. Want more.

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  • Anonymous+reader
    18.04.2014 10:24
    9qmp6C Major thankies for the post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2014 02:08
    ur using to, too and two wrong

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  • Anonymous+reader
    08.06.2014 02:46
    ur using to, too and two wrong

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  • Anonymous+reader
    06.12.2014 03:05
    Had the pleasure of reading all four back to back. Wonderful! Keep writing, this was amazing!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.12.2014 13:02
    Never bet with another person like that great story but the main character was a idiot haha well thanks again mate for the story I was hoping that he would stay with gene abd go out with her but hey ho the story is call 3 evil sisters for a reason

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.01.2015 22:29
    Come out with part 5

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.07.2015 14:50
    Wow. I've been through a whole AA battery reading this. Wish there was more. Super hot. Never stop writing. Xx

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.08.2015 01:56
    this is art!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.09.2015 00:32
    hope you continue to write more on this story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.10.2015 02:25
    some story is gone .

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    20.10.2015 18:44
    You should have him and gene start to date I love all the story's I didn't like that u changed ur mind u have a great thing going when u hook him up with gene him and gene would be a great couple

    Answer 0

  • Bry83
    06.11.2015 23:11
    Great story would have been great for Max & Gene to hook up though.

    Answer 0

  • Bry83
    07.11.2015 02:55
    Great story great series very hot stories.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    14.12.2015 03:58
    Max is a savage

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    30.12.2015 07:03
    max and gene should fuck

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.01.2016 09:25
    Where is part 5

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    03.01.2016 17:36
    Where is part 5

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    07.01.2016 08:53
    Make them have a 4some

    And gene shouldn't fuck max

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    08.01.2016 21:58
    More.one on one relationships that are multiple partners like before your a great writer

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.01.2016 16:28
    Why does gene call him jake when she introduces him to Riley she called him max a few seconds before

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    24.01.2016 18:19
    Where is some story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.02.2016 12:05
    I say go big or go home and tell the story of the father, and how he actually impregnated the mother before he died, but it is his sister! !! Bum bum buuuuuh ,')
    Seriously though start it as max trying to find his mom, do a flasback, and end with him finding her.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.02.2016 12:09
    He tries to find her to tell her of izzys death, auto erotic affixiation, and she console him in that life is a precious thing. ..of course she looks like all three sisters, the absolute goddess!

    Answer 0

  • citdrag
    15.02.2016 18:45
    awesome

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.02.2016 22:36
    well ... going back to living with the 3 devils will ruin the story but it was a good read until here

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.03.2016 11:05
    This is 5 not 4

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.04.2016 04:45
    Goood my cousin loved iiiiiit.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    10.04.2016 05:44
    First of all u somestory have some real skills with muptiple ones so stau with it n try a story with mother or any another b

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.05.2016 10:02
    This was a good story and I was seriously engaged and wanted to beat the shit out of the main character for being such a wimpy bitch.
    But then we got to the 13 year old boy with a 9 inch dick bullshit.
    For fucks sake less than 0.3% of the ADULT males on this planet would be in that category.
    Authors please get your shit together and get real.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.05.2016 18:28
    I want him to take my virginity

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.06.2016 23:59
    This kid should learn to fucking type or maybe have some check his spelling before he posts it

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.07.2016 19:12
    READ ALL OF IT IT GETS GOOD

    zman

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.07.2016 20:49
    You .think. you.fuck.may.gols

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    19.07.2016 20:54
    You .think. you.fuck.may.gols how.you.the. bag. Hwo

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.07.2016 09:00
    Where can I find part 5

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    13.09.2016 02:57
    this is part 5 its just labeled wrong

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    23.09.2016 02:00
    Yet again keeping the balance of believable characters and having actual personality differences between each sister. And ignore what anyone says about that he has to big of a dick or any of that bullshit it's a work of fiction and no one wants to read about a limp dick teen

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    09.10.2016 04:11
    Can you Please put the other chapters back on 2 me 2 read the rest of the story

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    16.11.2016 13:30
    One on one the boy and that girls mother should be the next one

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    26.11.2016 01:33
    Never stop writing never ever I will pay for your work though it is priceless

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    02.12.2016 05:56
    I just want to point out, this story is 4 years old, and you idiots are bitching to the author. Somestory hasn't answered any of you. For fucks sake they may be dead. So in summary, stop being little bitches, fuck off if you don't like the story. Because somestory isn't coming back!

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    15.12.2016 03:40
    Great novel I enjoy it since its combination of a good story while its a erotic novel. Too bad I don't find good stories like this one. Keep it up.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    25.12.2016 16:33
    He needs to get with Gene. Then all of them.

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    27.12.2016 09:52
    You should make a book

    Answer 0

  • Anonymous+reader
    28.12.2016 05:43
    I loooove your writing style. Your characters are fascinating, you have a good pace to the story, and k ow how to mix it up. You can tell some parts here are rushed, so let me leave you with one piece advice: take your time. The parts where you clearly slowed down and took your time are better than 90% of books I've read. Came for a quick fap and found myself engrossed in your story. That's impressive. Seriously, you have some talent, and someday I'm sure I'll see you on the NY Times bestseller list ;)

    Answer 0

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