Rescue Sixty 911 – Send in the Clowns

Operator: Rescue Sixty 911, what is your erotic emergency?

Caller: [Sad honk noise]

Operator: Oh, it’s you again Bozo? The previous suggestion didn’t work, I’m guessing?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by sad honk]

Operator: So you’re stuck again? In Bubbles? Did you put the ladder away this time at least?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by sad honk]

Operator: Oh well, let’s do a step by step check. Are you still wearing your comically large clownshoes? The ones that cause the two of you to slip on any spill, despite your actual feet being a lot smaller and less prone to slipping?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by sad honk]

Operator: Yes, yes, I understand, it’s a cultural thing. I wouldn’t repeat it, but it would make things easier if you simply took those off. I won’t insist obviously. To each their own of course. You said you put the ladder away. And you removed the squirting flower, so there’s less puddles on the floor.

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by embarrassed honk]

Operator: Oh, right. .. yes, ehm lubrication and semen will also be very slippery. And well, with the amount of times you fell into Bubbles and made her orgasm, I’m assuming the bed, you two and well, the whole floor is probably slippery?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by sad honk, inquisitive honk, declarative honk]

Operator: You did what now? How on earth did you get a 300 gallon drum of industrial lube in your bedroom?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by informative honk]

Operative: Slip and slides. .. ok. . ok. I need to confer with my section chief how to go about with this. I’m tempted to ask our internal firedepartment to come over and hose you down, cause I’m assuming that’s the only way we will get you two unslippery by now?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by sad honk]

Operative: Yes, it’s a darn waste of all that good lube. Shame to see it go to waste like that. But I can’t think of any other solution.

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by I have an Idea! - honk]

Operative: Scraping it off might work. But the lube will have been contiminated then of course. Can’t use it for it’s intended erotic use. Only slip and slides then, of course.

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise]

Operator: So what do you think our crew will need? A suction pump? Snowshovels? Some sauna scrapers? Also out of care: How is Bubbles doing?

Caller: [Orgastic honk noises, followed by bubbling honk]

Operator: I can tell, she’s still happy with all these unforeseen happy coincidences and accidents. That’s good to know. Is she being hydrated during all these orgasms?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, slightly indignant]

Operator: Yes, yes, of course. The squirting flower reservoir. I should have guessed. You put it to good use obviously. Poor girl would have dried out otherwise by now. I’ve got confirmation just now that our EEMT’s are en route. They’re wearing non-slip boots and have all the equipment they need to get you out of the fix. And some ointment to take care of your member. It must be hurting now from the constant unintended fornication. Did you use condoms?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, blowing noise and balloon deflating noise]

Operator: Ah, the balloon-animal balloons. Should have guessed. Standard issue for clowns of course. And fun inside and outside the bedroom. They also have the required length and could fit any girth. You didn’t make it into a poodle right, before you inserted it?

Caller: [Indignant honk noise]

Operator: Pussycat. Alright. Not what I would have gone for, but understandable. Is there anything in the room that the EEMT’s should be careful of or aware of?

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise]

Operator: OK Comically large tub pants with suspenders that are upright due to starching. Check. That shouldn’t prove a problem. No buckets on the lip of the door, right? Bozo? We know you like to have fun with custard and creampies, but the EEMT’s can’t do their work if they’re covered in white goo.

Caller: [Affirmative honk noise, followed by sad honk]

Operator: Thank you for being honest, I’ll advise them to open the door by pushing it open with the handle of the snow shovels. Those creampies you balanced there, would have been very funny indeed, but yeah, perhaps best saved for another time, when your dick isn’t hurting from having slipped and fallen right into Bubbles for the thirteenth consecutive time. It probably needs a break.

Narrator:

Bubbles and Bozo were saved by the EEMT’s and required only token amounts of rehydration, as the squirting flower reservoir had a comically large capacity to sustain them through their ordeal. Remember people clown sex is only funny if you have the stamina. If not: please keep a non-clown-helper at hand or call us. Your trusty help during erotic emergencies. Even one’s involving slipping and falling and penetrating and cumming over and over and over and over again. Whilst honking.

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Sex joke, Written by women, Erotic Story