Sixty-911, What is your erotic emergency?

These are the stories of the brave operators of sixty-911, the erotic emergency helpdesk for people in need, who are about to have their lives changed. Or their lightbulbs. Depending on what they need. In any case, not the emergency call you want routed to your mom.

— This is Sixty-911, what is your erotic emergency?

I’m stuck.

— Stay calm ma’am. We’re here to help. Can you describe to me what you are stuck to?

It’s complicated.

— Don’t worry ma’am. We’ve seen it all here on Sixty-911. Just walk me through how you got where you are now, perhaps that’ll help.

I. . it’s my birthday today. . and well no one at work congratulated me. My mom didn’t even call me. She should have. . you know.

— Yes, that is a momentous occasion, it’s weird for your mother to not celebrate that. So what happened next.

When I went home. . I. . I was greeted by my dog.

— Ma’am. I need to warn you. Literotica doesn’t allow that kind of content.

No no. I’d never.

— OK. Please continue. Tell me what happened next.

I went down the basement and got the jar of peanut butter.

— Ma’am. . I think I know where this is going, should I just dispatch the Erotic Emergency Techs to your location and clear out the surprise party that’s waiting in your living room that you walked past obliviously, expecting there to be a circuit break, which is why you went down to the cellar? With the dog? Cause you didn’t want to leave him alone.

Yes please.

Narrator:

Erotic Emergency Techs and hotline operators are trained on a massive range of possible scenarios they’ll have to guide their callers through. The objective is to remain calm and help the caller by informing them of what’s normal and how to get through this without undue additional damage or risks.

The operator had already dispatched the EEMT’s and was now in the aftercare and hand off stage. We pick up the story from there:

Also ehm. . about the being stuck.

— The swelling goes down on it’s own Ma’am. The EEMT have experience with this. I’ll tell them to bring additional lube.

I’m so ashamed.

— Don’t worry, it happens to all of us. We’re just glad to be able to help you out. Do you have a personal preference for what we tell the party guests to get them out? Or would you like our EEMT’s to simply state that there’s a gas leak two houses down and everyone is asked to evacuate as soon as possible.

Yes, that sounds. . wait. . we’re not on gas here. We’ve upgraded to solar.

— Good of you to notify us of that. That was a near miss there in the making. Hmm. Let me think. Food poisoning? How does that sound?

Won’t my mom want to follow me to the hospital?

— We’ll tell her we’re stabilising you right there and ask her to ride ahead to the hospital. We’ll overtake her due to the sirens and lights anyway. We’ll arrive at the same time.

You’re not really taking us to the hospital? Right?

— No, don’t worry Ma’am. Fido might need a vet check up afterwards, if things got a bit enthusiastic.

He’s called Apollo.

— Ah well, I’m sure with a name like that he’ll have managed lift off and re-entry without a hitch.

I think I hear the sirens.

— Yes, my colleagues will be with you in a jiffy. Speaking of jiffy, did you put the peanutbutter away?

Yes.

— Is the dog overly friendly? Or a bit guarded?

No, he’s such a good boy. Wouldn’t hurt a fly.

— Ma’am my colleagues are coming down now, they’ve talked the partygoers into going home. They’ll handle everything from this point onwards.

Do you mind staying on the line?

— Of course not Ma’am.

Narrator:

The EEMT’s arrived downstairs and helped the helpless victim out of her quandary. By the time the victim’s mother realised no ambulance was coming to the hospital, she called her daughter and got the excuse that she felt so much better after the EEMT’s helped her, that they decided that a hospital visit wasn’t necessary. She’d just be sore for a few days but that was to be expected. Everything worked out in the end. The dominatrix in full police gear who was standing by in case she was needed, was not deployed. The partygoers had left without issue.

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Remember: Erotom stories are just that: Stories. Please do not call 911 and waste the time of real operators. You might put someone's life in danger. Fap or Frig responsibly. Phone responsibly. Don't drink and drive. Don't muff dive at the same time either. No prank calling 911/emergency services! Don't say I didn't warn you, it's a federal offense!